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Not that the world needs another song about doors, but I woke up and there it was so...
You’ve kept me outside waiting for too long The sunset has faded the stars are so bright Even mother nature knows about me n’ you icicles are melting temperatures less than two
Open the backdoor baby come on and let me in I know you want me you’ve been callin’ again So open the back door baby come on and let me in
One foot on the sidewalk the other in the yard The backdoor slowly makes it’s way open In the middle of the street I’m walking away You call my name and yell---honey stay
chorus
Time don’t mean a thing when we’re together But when I’m sure that you’re asleep I put on my jeans and head for the door you say come on back I need some more
Chorus
I promise I’ll call but that’s not good enough you’re touchin’ me kissin’ me holdin’ me I tell you come on now I really need to leave you stop and giggle ‘cuz I can barely beathe Finally I smile as I give in and say
chorus ©2003 pammie c.
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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That was a nice gift you woke up with to receive in the morning! Doors or not! I like it a lot! The only thing about it is it left me wanting to know more. Very nice Pammie. Here's what I woke up with, lol. He wanted to give me his ring, But, I just wanted to wring his neck. We don't ALL wake up with good ones!!! Dixie
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Dixie, thanks for taking the time to look at this. You are too funny. I'm trying to think of another verse to give more of a story because I know I need to tie everything together.
This is what I cam up with:
My friends always tell me I'm lucky I tell 'em no I'm blessed 'cuz we've been together for years but the games you play keep me guessin'
Wish I could go back to sleep and wake up with another verse!
If you can help me come up with something better, let me know.
Thanks
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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Well, I think you have plenty of verses here Pammy, but maybe they just are not saying exactly what you wanted to portray. If you tell me the story of what you are attempting to convey, maybe I can help, since you asked. It appears, to me, that since she has to come in the back door they are "sneaking" around, perhaps cheating?? Or, is he ashamed of the relationship? Is she a floozy? Entirely a sexual relationship and nothing more? Tell me. Dixie
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sweetly devilish, wooooohoooooo!!!!!! i try so hard, to play hard to get but he sees between my whims but let me tell you, a little secret it's me who really wins ------------------ http://www.random-noise.com/
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Hey- good work, and I think the chorus is nice and catchy, too. It'd be great to hear it with some music i think, too.
------------------ -Cameron
-Cameron
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Thanks for weighing in on this again Dixie. Ritt thanks for that verse and I'm glad you like it. Camereon, thanks for the vote of confidence the first verse and the chorus are my favorite parts. Based on what Ritt said The saga continues, what about this: Baby why must you keep me waitin’ Sun has faded and the moon is bright Even mother nature knows about me n’ you ice is meltin’ temperature’s less than two Open the backdoor baby come on and let me in I know you want me you’ve been callin’ again So open the back door baby come on and let me in Years ago when we first met I tried not to fall I’m still not sure what you’ve done to me I never get tired of the games we play Or the look in your eyes when you hear me say chorus come on and let me in ©2003 pammie c. Does this work? IF so which verse should come next? [This message has been edited by pammie (edited 03-14-2003).]
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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I liked spiderlady's verse... I also agree with Dixie, it's not perfectly clear what the relationship is between these people and the back door (??)
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Pammie...once again you're calling to my mind Melissa Etheridge...this time it's "I Want To Come Over", except with a more positive spin. I like the work you've done on this so far...I don't have anything to offer that hasn't already been said, but nice job so far!
I'm on my way to take a look at your webpage...thanks for inviting me!!
Jaden
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Hi Pammie!!
Yep, yep!!! I agree with Jaden here. She said it well.
Good job, girl. Best, Cindy
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Good Job! (Everything else has been said already)
doug
------------------ "You can do what ever you want to do where ever you want to go. It's up to you." John Denver
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pammie... you guys are doin a great job with this... keep working on it. scotty
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Jaden, Cindy, Scotty and douglas thanks for taking a look at this.
I haven't listened to my Skin CD in 3 weeks maybe if I don't listen to if for another 2 weeks I'll stop channeling ME! LOL!
[This message has been edited by pammie (edited 03-17-2003).]
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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Let Me In 1 Our love is a secret we couldn't keep the undercurrent runs much too deep Even mother nature knows about us Ice melts everytime we touch
Chorus So open up give it up baby come on and let me in I now you want me you've been callin'again So open up give it up baby come on and let me in 2 I'm still not sure what you do to me I only know the taste of your kiss sets me free I never get tired of the games we play or the look in your eyes whe you hear me say
Chorus 3 there's all kinds of rumors flyin'around town they wonder why both of us are sneakin' around They say forbidden fruit is superstitious But one little tast is so delicious 4 I promise I'll call you tomorrow night But you're kissin' me beggin' me to give up the fight I tell you come on now I really have to leave You stop and giggle and I can hardly breathe Finally I give in as I say
Bridge I never get tired of your love lessons So let people just keep on guessin' Who's cheatin' who
Chorus copyright 2003 Linda V. Pammie C.
[This message has been edited by pammie (edited 03-17-2003).]
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ------------------ http://www.random-noise.com/
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Thanks Ritt! Dixie suggested taking out the door part...so do you think the chorus works better this way?
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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What a great re-write!!! It's much clearer now, you stay on your point and don't wander off in the lyric. I almost feel guilty just listening to the words.. LOL Like I'm evesdropping on a private conversation...(which is a GREAT way for a song to make you feel!)
Only nit I can offer is
They say forbidden fruit is superstitious
Why is forbidden fruit superstitious? Or was that the only word you could find to rhyme with delicious? (wink)
I also sort of have a "thing" with starting lines with "they say".
Since this line is in the chorus and we're gonna hear it several times in the song I would really think long and hard that every single line in the chorus is STRONG STRONG STRONG.
Other than that... great job!!!
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Kaylynn, I tried to edit but for some reason it won't let me. Thanks for taking the time to check this out. I appreciate your help. The chorus is Open up give it up baby Come on let me in I know you want me You've been callin' again...
Originally I had the line as Forbidden fruit is quite delicious But the consequences can be too vicious HOw about: forbidden fruit must be superstitious Just one tatse is so delicious?
Any suggestions on how to improve that line? Thanks again
[This message has been edited by pammie (edited 03-17-2003).]
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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pammie.... let me think on this...... i really like the thought so let me see what comes to my mind!!!! get back with you this evening. ( i fixin to have dinner and all with my grand daughter) scotty
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pammie.... here is my first thought... don't taste forbidden fruit, it can ruin us but we both know, it is so delicious i'll keep thinking. scotty
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Why is forbidden fruit is so delicious? Sweet as honey, in your kisses.
Hi Pam, maybe this one will solve the problem; also takes care of the THEY SAY nit. I dont really like "they say" that much either. So, will this line work? DIXIE
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Dixie, I like it alot better. It works for me. Hopefully, some other folks will take a look and let us know what they think.
"what fails to kill me only makes me stronger."
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yup.. Dixie did a good job fixing that nit! (smile). It works for me!
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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dix.... pammie done good!!! i like it!!! scotty
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