23 registered members (Bluecat, E Swartz, couchgrouch, ckiphen, DonnieWitt, 9ne, CTthomas, Gavin Sinclair, Aaron Corley, 4 invisible),
and 227
guests, and |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Sheep
by WilliamMahler. 01/21/21 02:41 PM
|
|
|
Blind
by ckiphen. 01/21/21 10:23 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Be Cool
by couchgrouch. 01/20/21 05:34 PM
|
|
|
#928911 - 10/19/11 06:43 PM
She Sheds A Tear
|
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 267
AJ Baker
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 267
Union,Ohio
|
She Sheds A Tear As I look at her face A smile comes over me A woman with so much grace A friend she'll always be C:She sheds a tear each day For the man she'll always love The memories are haunting her As he watches her from above Today she gets up one more time and musters up a smile Happy thoughts come once again If only for awhile C I'd love to make her happy If only for awhile If I can give her some happiness It will make my life worthwhile C Years from now when we look back It will be with a smile The warmth of our frienship Will carry us for miles C Music solo C END (C)John Baker 2009 www.reverbnation.com/ajbaker
Last edited by AJ Baker; 10/22/11 12:36 PM.
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
|
|
|
#929132 - 10/20/11 09:53 PM
Re: She Sheds A Tear
[Re: AJ Baker]
|
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
|
Hi AJ,
I don’t know if you’re just sharing or looking for crits, but I’ll say that this comes across as a heartfelt, gentle song. You may want to keep it in 3rd person and switch “you” in the first line to “her” to be consistent. If you look to switch it up, like Tammy mentioned, I can hear the instrumental right before the “I’d love to make her happy” verse. Especially enjoyed this:
Today she gets up one more time and musters up a smile Happy thoughts come once again If only for awhile
Enjoyed the guitar!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums116
Topics121,283
Posts1,141,067
Members21,316
Average Posts Daily23
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"No matter how many times you think to yourself you have heard it all, you are always wrong." –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|