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Joined: Nov 2008
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I am not sure of the genre of this one... This is one that I wrote maybe a year ago. Recently, Matthew Glickstein, a beautiful composer and singer from Hawaii, contacted me from FAWM and we collaborated on this one. His webpage is below http://mattglickstein.com/home.cfmIt is not the usual style of music we hear on this site, but I hope for what it is, you will give your input on it, and comment after listening. Thanks!!! Sorry there have been several in the past while... Song is below...thanks!! Until In foreign lands and in our back yards Wars and hostility keep us on guard Gang colors, blood running through our streets— Change must come before this cycle repeats– Chorus We wonder why, wonder why We live on the edge of borrowed time Can’t lay down our heads in peace and sleep at night— We drink a shot, take a pill, steal a ten minute thrill Believe the lies, buy more time, shut off our minds Until…Until Our children pay the highest price of all Can’t ride their bicycles, and hide behind walls— Too much anger, humans killing one another – Can we aim for love and not at our brothers? Chorus Bridge— What happened to the peace we claim to seek? Is it only a fairytale to comfort the meek? Are love and decency so hard to find, or maybe hidden deep behind tear-filled eyes? Repeat chorus Outro All we are saying All we are saying All we are saying Is give peace a…chance……… © Kime/Glickstein 2011 BMI Peace and Love~~ Kimberlyinnc
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Joined: Dec 2009
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Nice pretty song Kim. Reminds me of Simon & Garfunkel.
I enjoy the song a lot. There's only one point that my brain struggled with and that was the lack of anything after Until...Until. I kept expecting until I die. Very obvious i guess but maybe after a few listens I'd just get used to it.
Otherwise I really like it.
JD
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Hi James,
To be compared to S&G..wonderful compliment.
I suppose I was meaning until to mean until it happens..the peace, the love, the acceptance..but perhaps on the bridge we could bring in that word until to piece it together more?
Thank you so much for listening and offering suggestions
Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 652
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Hi Kim, Nice collab! Really enjoyed the listen. I sorta also wanted to hear the Until - - - something... One little thing stood out - I wondered why the whole word bicycles, but think we only ever say bikes here,forgot it existed Sad that until we learn to change nothing does. :)K
Last edited by Katziis; 06/25/11 06:32 AM.
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171 Likes: 8
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Kim,
I REMEMBER this from a while ago, either I've got a great brain (not likely) or it stuck with me (go with this one!!) LOL!!
I've liked this lyric, I even remember liking you singing it, I think this sounds great and very nice treatment of the ending which could go a bunch of ways.
I agree that bicycle sticks out, but I don't remember that being the case before, so it is just his style and phrasing, it just needs to change because of that.
Cool that this is still getting worked on, it seems like some time ago since I heard it....yeah!
Tammy
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 237
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Nice Piano nice Vocal and Melody the only thing for me is you never hit the title on the head Great thought though Anthony
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Kim, This is a pretty piano ballad. Nice playing and singing. Very well arranged. A lovely tune. Congratulations on this one. I like it a lot.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Hi, Kim! Wow... that sounds REALLY great! Very nice song!
--Jen
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.--Mark Twain
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
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Wow, Kim....
This is so pretty...especially considering the subject! Not much to say except...BEAUTIFULLY DONE! Loved it!
All the best...
Alan
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Joined: Jul 2001
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well.....I'm not sure that the lyric fits the music.... I mean you talk about a real edgy subject with a love song attitude....and the outro is a dead rip off of John Lennon....
I did like the production...the piano sounds awesome and the singer is in pitch and key with just the right amount af verb,,,,I really dug the dynamics of the music also...
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What a pretty song...the chord progressions are beautiful as is the vocal melody, and the production really works well.
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Hi Kim,
This is a great song. Love the feel with the solo piano and vocal. The lyrics and melody blend very well. A lot of great phrases in that chorus ... wonderful. My only nit is the outro sounds a little too cliche.
Nice job girl, G
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A beautiful song. The writer in me loves the open ended "Until". I think it add a creative touch to the story telling.
If you really feel the urge to elaborate on "until". Please save it for the bridge. Let the listener's mind, wounder for a bit,... Until... the bridge.
Pun intended... lol
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Hi Kim, This is such a beautiful song. I disagree that the music doesn't fit the lyric. The reason I disagree is because of the hope that "give peace a chance" inserts into the song. I see it as a song of hope rather than a downer that it would be without that glimmer of hope. The music and vocal is as wonderful as lyric!! Congrats on a great collab. Dottie
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I just saw and heard this one for the first time. It has a lot going for it - who can argue with the message? I sense a bit of a disconnect between the formal sounding music and the more informal language of the lyric....hard to put a finger on it. A few lyrical suggestions below - not sure if it is finished or subject to revision. I think you need to lose the Beatles' ending and substitute something that explains the Until....
From foreign lands to our own back yards
War and hatred keep us on guard
Gangs run wild, blood in the streets—
Change must come, we can't retreat -
Chorus
We wonder why, wonder why
We live in fear of another crime
Can’t lay down our heads in peace and sleep at night—
shoot tequila,
swallow a pill,
risk a ten minute thrill
Believe the lies,
buy more time, shut off our minds
Until…Until
Children pay the highest price of all
Can’t ride a bike, hide behind their walls—
Cultures clash, people killing each other –
Can we aim at love and not at our brothers?
Chorus
Bridge—
What happened to the peace we claim we need?
A fairytale, overcome by greed?
Are love and respect so hard to find?
If peace breaks out, will there still be tear filled eyes?
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Hi Kim
I think it's a good song and arrangement -- my thought is the prosody could be better in the singer's delivery -- but he has a nice voice -- I see Colin and other's have given lyrical suggs which address this in a different way, but I think it is the delivery style -- a bit on the theatrical side verses pop.
I'm sure he could smooth it out.
jm
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Kim....great vocal...Matt sure can sing...pleasant listen for sure...the music fits for me...Bob
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Until....Until.....it's the till we keep on paying combined with the un- that taints any words it falls in front of...unpleasant, unhappy, when the only word the world needs an un- in front of is the word understanding, and then finding peace amongst us all.Lovely write.~~~MFB III
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*** I apologize to everyone that commented that it took me this long to come back and comment, had a lot of things going on...life..ya know..gets in the way of music sometimes.. Katziis That is something I have been considering, saying maybe in the bridge, until..this this and this..and answering that word. good suggestions and thanks for your kind comments.--Kim Tams Good memory, and yes it is still being worked on...sometimes projects take a long time..that word is something we may need to work on, among other things, thanks for listening.:) Kim The lyricwriter Thank you for listening..do you mean to hit Until harder in the vocal? Or to use it more often? --Thank you--Kim Dan Thank you so much Dan! I am glad you enjoyed it:) --Kim JenWow, thank you. It makes my day to know someone digs a project or lyric of mine...it makes me not want to give up...thanks again--Kim Alan To hear that from a musical talent as yourself is really something special to me. thank you so much. I am sure it will make Matt happy as well. Kim Joro Yes, I know the ending part is alot like John's. It is something I am considering changing..if Matt is willing and able to do another take with me. I know the music could have been harder, it could go either way..but thank you. I am sure Matt will like your comments on his music, he is quite talented..did stuff for Disney. Kim RobbieYou are too kind, thank you so much...:) Kim Papa G Thank you Papa. Yes I think I would like to change that outtro as many have been against it..:) Kim Nelson I am glad you liked the open ended until. It was an effect I was trying to go for, but since many have said, they want to know until what.. I would like to make it clear and in the bridge as you suggested. Thanks so much!!:) Kim Dottie- Thank you sweetie. I am glad you liked it. Hard to know what to do with some many differing opinions..:) Kim Colin Yes, I agree about that ending..as far as the music, it is Matt's style. I heard it as a bit more altern. style, in my head, but I like Matt's version too. I will consider all your ideas for it if Matt is willing/able to do another take with me. we will see. :)Thanks so much Colin, my friend --Kim Joice Yes, I agree, sometimes the way one phrases a sentence can change it all so much..we may make changes and if so, I hope we can work out some of those kinks..thank you!!--Kim Robert Thanks hun. You are very kind to say that..:) Kim MFB Thank you MFB and yes, we all could use some more understanding, for sure. --Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Hi Kimberly, I agree about losing the John Lennon thing. But othr than that I loved it. I vote to KEEP the openended UNTIL. And I think the music matche the vocal as is. GOOD WORK. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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