Who's Online Now
7 members (VNORTH2, couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier), 4,121 guests, and 268 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#904875 06/22/11 06:25 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
I am not sure of the genre of this one...
This is one that I wrote maybe a year ago. Recently, Matthew Glickstein, a beautiful composer and singer from Hawaii, contacted me from FAWM and we collaborated on this one. His webpage is below
http://mattglickstein.com/home.cfm
It is not the usual style of music we hear on this site, but I hope for what it is, you will give your input on it, and comment after listening. Thanks!!! Sorry there have been several in the past while...

Song is below...thanks!!

Until

In foreign lands and in our back yards

Wars and hostility keep us on guard

Gang colors, blood running through our streets—

Change must come before this cycle repeats–



Chorus



We wonder why, wonder why

We live on the edge of borrowed time

Can’t lay down our heads in peace and sleep at night—

We drink a shot,

take a pill,

steal a ten minute thrill

Believe the lies,

buy more time, shut off our minds

Until…Until



Our children pay the highest price of all

Can’t ride their bicycles, and hide behind walls—

Too much anger, humans killing one another –

Can we aim for love and not at our brothers?



Chorus



Bridge—

What happened to the peace we claim to seek?

Is it only a fairytale to comfort the meek?

Are love and decency so hard to find,

or maybe hidden deep behind tear-filled eyes?



Repeat chorus



Outro

All we are saying

All we are saying

All we are saying

Is give peace a…chance………

© Kime/Glickstein 2011 BMI

Peace and Love~~ Kimberlyinnc



*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
KimberlyinNC #904901 06/22/11 08:22 PM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 348
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 348
Nice pretty song Kim. Reminds me of Simon & Garfunkel.

I enjoy the song a lot. There's only one point that my brain struggled with and that was the lack of anything after Until...Until. I kept expecting until I die. Very obvious i guess but maybe after a few listens I'd just get used to it.

Otherwise I really like it.

JD


My Band Northfield
Our Videos
JamesDF5 #904905 06/22/11 09:30 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Hi James,

To be compared to S&G..wonderful compliment.

I suppose I was meaning until to mean until it happens..the peace, the love, the acceptance..but perhaps on the bridge we could bring in that word until to piece it together more?

Thank you so much for listening and offering suggestions

Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
KimberlyinNC #904978 06/23/11 09:02 AM
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 652
K
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
K
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 652
Hi Kim,

Nice collab! Really enjoyed the listen. I sorta also wanted to hear the Until - - - something...
One little thing stood out - I wondered why the whole word bicycles, but think we only ever say bikes here,forgot it existed smile
Sad that until we learn to change nothing does. :)K

Last edited by Katziis; 06/25/11 06:32 AM.
Katziis #905088 06/23/11 06:03 PM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Kim,

I REMEMBER this from a while ago, either I've got a great brain (not likely) or it stuck with me (go with this one!!) LOL!!

I've liked this lyric, I even remember liking you singing it, I think this sounds great and very nice treatment of the ending which could go a bunch of ways.

I agree that bicycle sticks out, but I don't remember that being the case before, so it is just his style and phrasing, it just needs to change because of that.

Cool that this is still getting worked on, it seems like some time ago since I heard it....yeah!

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




TamsNumber4 #905166 06/24/11 02:16 AM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 237
T
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
T
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 237
Nice Piano nice Vocal and Melody the only thing for me is you never hit the title on the head Great thought though
Anthony

the_lyricwriter #905167 06/24/11 02:23 AM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Kim, This is a pretty piano ballad. Nice playing and singing. Very well arranged. A lovely tune. Congratulations on this one. I like it a lot.


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

https://dansullivan2.bandcamp.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dansullivan2
Dan Sullivan #905172 06/24/11 03:25 AM
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 945
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 945
Hi, Kim! Wow... that sounds REALLY great! Very nice song!

--Jen


The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.--Mark Twain
Jen Warner #905173 06/24/11 04:45 AM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Wow, Kim....

This is so pretty...especially considering the subject! Not much to say except...BEAUTIFULLY DONE! Loved it!

All the best...

Alan

Two Singers #905457 06/25/11 01:39 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,082
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 1,082
well.....I'm not sure that the lyric fits the music....
I mean you talk about a real edgy subject with a love song attitude....and the outro is a dead rip off of John Lennon....

I did like the production...the piano sounds awesome and the singer is in pitch and key with just the right amount af verb,,,,I really dug the dynamics of the music also...

joro #905594 06/26/11 06:34 PM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 24
R
Casual Observer
Offline
Casual Observer
R
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 24

What a pretty song...the chord progressions are beautiful as is the vocal melody, and the production really works well.

Robbiezzz29 #905622 06/27/11 01:30 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 353
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 353
Hi Kim,

This is a great song. Love the feel with the solo piano and vocal. The lyrics and melody blend very well. A lot of great phrases in that chorus ... wonderful. My only nit is the outro sounds a little too cliche.

Nice job girl,
G

papaG #905658 06/27/11 10:50 AM
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
A beautiful song.
The writer in me loves the open ended "Until".
I think it add a creative touch to the story telling.

If you really feel the urge to elaborate on "until".
Please save it for the bridge.
Let the listener's mind, wounder for a bit,... Until... the bridge.

Pun intended... lol


KimberlyinNC #905669 06/27/11 01:50 PM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Hi Kim,

This is such a beautiful song. I disagree that the music doesn't fit the lyric. The reason I disagree is because of the hope that "give peace a chance" inserts into the song. I see it as a song of hope rather than a downer that it would be without that glimmer of hope.

The music and vocal is as wonderful as lyric!! Congrats on a great collab. smile

Dottie

KimberlyinNC #905692 06/27/11 04:49 PM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
Offline
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
I just saw and heard this one for the first time. It has a lot going for it - who can argue with the message? I sense a bit of a disconnect between the formal sounding music and the more informal language of the lyric....hard to put a finger on it. A few lyrical suggestions below - not sure if it is finished or subject to revision. I think you need to lose the Beatles' ending and substitute something that explains the Until....

From foreign lands to our own back yards

War and hatred keep us on guard

Gangs run wild, blood in the streets—

Change must come, we can't retreat -



Chorus



We wonder why, wonder why

We live in fear of another crime

Can’t lay down our heads in peace and sleep at night—

shoot tequila,

swallow a pill,

risk a ten minute thrill

Believe the lies,

buy more time, shut off our minds

Until…Until



Children pay the highest price of all

Can’t ride a bike, hide behind their walls

Cultures clash, people killing each other –

Can we aim at love and not at our brothers?




Chorus



Bridge—

What happened to the peace we claim we need?

A fairytale, overcome by greed?

Are love and respect so hard to find?

If peace breaks out, will there still be tear filled eyes?



Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


KimberlyinNC #905781 06/28/11 09:49 AM
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Hi Kim

I think it's a good song and arrangement -- my thought is the prosody could be better in the singer's delivery -- but he has a nice voice -- I see Colin and other's have given lyrical suggs which address this in a different way, but I think it is the delivery style -- a bit on the theatrical side verses pop.

I'm sure he could smooth it out.

jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
Joice Marie #905795 06/28/11 10:54 AM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
Kim....great vocal...Matt sure can sing...pleasant listen for sure...the music fits for me...Bob

Robert Pickens #905813 06/28/11 01:14 PM
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143
Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143
Likes: 6
Until....Until.....it's the till we keep on paying combined with the un- that taints any words it falls in front of...unpleasant, unhappy, when the only word the world needs an un- in front of is the word understanding, and then finding peace amongst us all.Lovely write.~~~MFB III

MFB III #907518 07/09/11 05:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
OP Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210

*** I apologize to everyone that commented that it took me this long to come back and comment, had a lot of things going on...life..ya know..gets in the way of music sometimes..

Katziis That is something I have been considering, saying maybe in the bridge, until..this this and this..and answering that word. good suggestions and thanks for your kind comments.--Kim

Tams Good memory, and yes it is still being worked on...sometimes projects take a long time..that word is something we may need to work on, among other things, thanks for listening.:) Kim

The lyricwriter Thank you for listening..do you mean to hit Until harder in the vocal? Or to use it more often? --Thank you--Kim smile

Dan Thank you so much Dan! I am glad you enjoyed it:) --Kim

JenWow, thank you. It makes my day to know someone digs a project or lyric of mine...it makes me not want to give up...thanks again--Kim

Alan To hear that from a musical talent as yourself is really something special to me. thank you so much. I am sure it will make Matt happy as well. smile Kim

Joro Yes, I know the ending part is alot like John's. It is something I am considering changing..if Matt is willing and able to do another take with me. I know the music could have been harder, it could go either way..but thank you. smile I am sure Matt will like your comments on his music, he is quite talented..did stuff for Disney. Kim

Robbie
You are too kind, thank you so much...:) Kim

Papa G Thank you Papa. Yes I think I would like to change that outtro as many have been against it..:) Kim

Nelson I am glad you liked the open ended until. It was an effect I was trying to go for, but since many have said, they want to know until what.. I would like to make it clear and in the bridge as you suggested. Thanks so much!!:) Kim

Dottie- Thank you sweetie. I am glad you liked it. Hard to know what to do with some many differing opinions..:) Kim

Colin Yes, I agree about that ending..as far as the music, it is Matt's style. I heard it as a bit more altern. style, in my head, but I like Matt's version too. I will consider all your ideas for it if Matt is willing/able to do another take with me. we will see. :)Thanks so much Colin, my friend --Kim

Joice Yes, I agree, sometimes the way one phrases a sentence can change it all so much..we may make changes and if so, I hope we can work out some of those kinks..thank you!!--Kim

Robert Thanks hun. You are very kind to say that..:) Kim

MFB Thank you MFB and yes, we all could use some more understanding, for sure. --Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
KimberlyinNC #907550 07/09/11 09:06 PM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Hi Kimberly,

I agree about losing the John Lennon thing.
But othr than that I loved it.

I vote to KEEP the openended UNTIL.
And I think the music matche the vocal as is.
GOOD WORK.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5