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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143 Likes: 6
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Sixth grade, recess in the shade, celebrating Valentine's Day, shoebox socked chock full of cards, From my entire class that day….
Tiny slot crammed to the slit, laced with ribbons, words of wit Pink and red tongues sticking out as I carefully emptied it
Chorus-
Hey Cupid, launch your arrows, Make my heart Custer’s last stand, Bring me love that makes me quiver, from her words held in my hand, I don’t care if it’s just puppy love, Like my mom says must come first, Bring a note from one I’m dreaming of, With a very special verse I am looking for one special card from a sweet young girl named Terry, with short, curly hair, brown, almond eyes, and full lips as plump as cherries. Lips that beg a kiss, but I was broke, and too young to even try such a bold joining of face to face, but God I longed to try….
Chorus-
Hey Cupid, draw your arrows, Make my heart... Custer’s last stand, Bring me love that makes me quiver, from her words held in my hand, I don’t care if it’s just puppy love, like my mom says will come first, Bring a note from one I’m dreaming of, with a very special verse Bridge-
She filled my dreams, and there………."Aha!!" she filled a valentine out too it was the tiniest card I’d ever seen, But in my eyes it was huge. A baby hen on a scarlet heart, so fuzzy, cute, and merry it said,"I want to be your chick," and the signature said, “ Terry,”
Final verse-
She moved away months later, but I still have that card, I never got the chance to know her, sometimes first love is so hard. But once in a while, I take it out thinking back on her and smile then suddenly I’m 12 again, and I’m so much more alive Way back when I loved that pretty girl in the second row, chair five.
Art/Whimsically Yours Studio MFB III Productions-©-2011
Last edited by MFB III; 06/25/11 02:38 AM.
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
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MFB, Your lyric jarred me back to a time when I was in kindergarden and fell in love with a dark-haired girl a year older than me. Still remember her name, Melody. And she's as beautiful in my mind's eye today as she was way back when she was a 6-year old's first taste of infatuation.
Thanks for the memory.
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I absolutely love this! The lyrics are well written and he storyline is good. I remember those younger days when Valentine's Day seemed so much more important. As an adult it's just another day to say "I love you". Back in grade school it was a big deal, especially if you were hoping for a specific person's card. Nice write! I hope to hear it soon!
Jennifer (Jinx) Shaner
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Joined: Jan 2005
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this one stirs the memories.i like it and i don't see nothing to change MFB.
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Joined: Feb 2006
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This is a cute story that you’ve woven. However, for some of the lyrics I think your kids are too young. A few times I thought, “ewe!” I know you were just talking about kissing in the previous lines, but this “such a bold joining of flesh to flesh, but God I longed to try….” Sounds like a lot more than kissing.
“I never got the chance to date her”. Again, this sounds too old for 12 year olds. I don’t know very many 12 year olds that date. (I’d change date to kiss her or tell her.)
I this a typo? But it my eyes it was huge.
Again, this was very original and a good story.
Laura G.
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MFB--
I was once young TOO--But the only way back is in a DREAM--Thanks for stirring some memories--
WRITE ON--
Mackie
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Joined: May 2001
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Hi MFB,
It sure does take you on the journey back to childhood love. It's very colourful and playful. I'm not sure about these words "shoebox socked" maybe its stocked?? The Custer's reference threw me a little... and I agree with the sentiment of the flesh to flesh... a tad too bold...but meeting lips to lips for 12 year olds would work. Enjoyed the read and memories ty. :)K
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Hey Dan, Jen, Micheal, Mackie, Laura and Katziis, thanks for the comments on my song, I made a few changes as suggested but I left shoebox socked chock full of cards, it's too good of a pun to toss. Thanks again for stopping by, I just got back from Las Vegas and I will return the favor tonight to each of you~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MFB III
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Looks pretty good at a read through. I'd see the title as Looking Back Through The Veil Of Time---Just seems meaningful to me though they both refer to the same thing JMOKOS
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Hey Wyman, Thanks for the read, I changed the title and I like it. thanks~~~~MFB III...also popint me the eay to some of your songs, I couldn't find any by you under your many posts. Thanks.
Last edited by MFB III; 06/25/11 02:39 AM.
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