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Joined: Aug 2010
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http://youtu.be/CbRZ865mvqsMagnetic Forces! © -MFB III productions ArtWhimsically Yours Studio verse 1- In ponchos flapping wet stacattos.. we dashed for cover ....but still got so drenched by running just that far to shelter 'neath a dry snack bar. Verse 2- Huddled close we laughed together at the sudden change of the weather catching us both in mid stride like some new fangled water ride. Chorus- One sweet moment caught in time when fate and raindrops both combined, to bring us cuddles so divine granting a chance to make her mine. verse 3 I pulled her close to warm her her blue eyes, flashed with heat and they held a hunger oh, so sweet. Dewed by raindrops they met mine and overwhelmed me stopping time I bent to wet her lips as well.. as torrents all around us fell. Chorus- One sweet moment caught in time when fate and raindrops both combined, to bring us cuddles so divine granting a chance to make her mine . verse 5- We kissed so long beneath the shade of that tin roof, where love was stirred my lips on hers. joyously seared her's ruby silk ....mine two day beard... (Bridge- with raindrops on tin and a guitar solo ) Then lightning struck, somewhere quite near and burned love in our souls that day, its warmth has never gone away... I think of her when storms draw near.... final verse Just our new love shared in the rain, in memories it remains years later I still taste the bliss each time it rains ...of her sweet kiss... Chorus- One sweet moment caught in time when fate and raindrops both combined, to bring us cuddles so divine granting a chance to make her mine.
Last edited by MFB III; 06/04/11 03:20 AM.
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Pretty interesting MFB.
I like your melody and I like the words.
The static (mangnet?) sounds don't do much for me.
The word 'snuggles' sticks out. It seems incongruous and more casual than the rest of the lyric. It's like a little kids word in an adult song. I'm all for anything if it works, but I'm not sure it worked for me.
You've got a good voice and this tune is really well composed. The lyric is very clever. It's a good tune. Really, the only nit I have with the basic tune is the word 'snuggles'.
Peace,
Ian
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hey Ian...you make a good point, I use snuggle a lot in my life but perhaps cuddle would be better..thanks for stopping by...glad you liked it~~~MFB III
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Very sweet and romantic! I like the music and singing as well. Overall, nicely done!
Jennifer (Jinx) Shaner
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Hey Jen, your opinions are always enjoyed, and you comment means a lot...thanks for checking in....~~MFB III
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Joined: Apr 2001
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Very good lyrics, maybe coupla nits here and there but overall great wording. In fact so good that I don't think the melody (hard to tell in a capella, though) does the words justice!
Best Regards and Aloha,
Charlie
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Hey Charlie, the vocals are just a rough cut, still trying to play it out on my guitar... thanks for the praise on the lyrics and for stopping in~~~~MFB III
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