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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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HAVE DONE A COMPLETE RE-WRITE--COMMENTS WELCOME--
This is EDIT #3 version with IAN FERRIN'S IDEAS ON RE-ARRANGING
I CRY A RIVER
©2011 Mackie Humphries, Dottie Corley with Ian Ferrin’s RE-ARRANGING
CH
DEEP IN THE NIGHT - YOU still haunt me
I SEE PICTURES - THEN we were happy
NOW LOVE’S LONG GONE - I can't reach YOU
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
V1
Your memories - they still haunt me
Old love letters - that make me weep
Some I forgot - or didn’t answer
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
BR
Another bottle
Of vintage scotch
Helps me forget
All the hard knocks.
Those warning signs
Flash neon blue
“Your love’s long gone”
In dreams of you.
..............solo..............
V2
More memories - play with my mind
Our old Jeep quits - as cars zoom past
One long walk back - soft fields of clover
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
CH
DEEP IN THE NIGHT - YOU still haunt me
I SEE PICTURES - THEN we were happy
NOW LOVE’S LONG GONE - I can't reach YOU
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
TAG
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
……… I cry a river……...
EDIT #1... EDIT #2
CRY A RIVER
© 2011 Mackie Humphries and Dottie Corley
V1
Got another bottle
Of vintage scotch
HOPE TO FORGET
ALL THE HARD KNOCKS
Those warning signs
I should've seen them
THOUGH baby's gone
SHE'S IN my dream.
CH
DEEP IN THE NIGHT - SHE still hauntS me
THOSE PICTURES - When we were happy
WITH LOVE LONG GONE - I can't reach her
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
V2
In morning' light
I dry my eyes
Know she’ll be back
After midnight
To prod me on
Knowing I miss her
She'll let me know
IT'S NOT over.
.......................SOLO......................
CH 2
Her memories - they still haunt me
Old love letters - that I still keep
Some I forgot - or didn't answer
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
BR
Maybe in time she’ll let me go
And I'LL FIND LOVE down another road.
CH 3
Another memory - keeps coming back
Our old Jeep quits - as cars zoom past
The long walk back - soft fields of clover
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
TAG
I cry a river……... I cry a river………
…………THIS IS THE ORIGINAL…………………
I CRY A RIVER .......RE-WRITE--CO-WRITE
© 2010 Mackie Humphries and Dottie Corley
V1
One more bottle
Of my best scotch
Drinking whiskey
Straight on the rocks
It dulls the pain
That hurts inside
My baby’s gone
With out goodbye.
CH
She hurt me bad - and I can’t sleep
The one I loved - I couldn’t keep
She walked right out - to another lover
My tears fall down, I cry a river.
V2
Good times are gone
And her lyin’ eyes
I can’t forget
Our last good night
I raise my glass
And drink to her
One more shot
Now it’s over.
CH
She hurt me bad - and I can’t sleep
The one I loved - I couldn’t keep
She walked on out - to another lover
My tears fall down, I cry a river.
.......................SOLO BRIDGE......................
CH
She hurt me bad - and I can’t sleep
The one I loved - I couldn’t keep
She walked on out - to another lover
My tears fall down, I cry a river.
Mackie
Last edited by Mackie H.; 06/05/11 09:08 PM.
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Gotta' say, Cry a River is a hauntingly familiar title. The lyric directs it away from "I'll cry a River Over You", but the similarity takes my brain to what it knows first.
Did you write away from a perfect rhyme for river or did it just work itself out that way? Just curious.
New member, Lyrics only contributor, looking to collaborate.
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Tom--
I Google all my titles--CRY A RIVER is part of a lot of TITLES--AMY GRANT had one CRY A RIVER--It's completely different--I love the JULIE LONDON one, that you refer to, best--Really I always wanted to use the title in some way, and re-wrote this one several times over 10 years--It just keeps changing--As I get older--I am into JAZZ, BLUES, COUNTRY, POP AND ROCK--I'm thinking Slow Jazz on this one--haven't completed the music yet--still working on some ideas.
Thanks for tuning in on this one!
Mackie
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10 years and still going, have to admire that. I have one like that too, seems more like a gentle nudge from an old friend than a lyric that needs finished.
Tom
New member, Lyrics only contributor, looking to collaborate.
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Tom--
I KEPT a few lines from my days in Germany:
Ingrid Partenheimer
WAS a MOUNTAIN CLIMBER
I use to love her
Now she's a TWO-TIMER
Mackie
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Tom--
I KEPT a few lines from my days in Germany:
Ingrid Partenheimer
WAS a MOUNTAIN CLIMBER
I use to love her
Now she's a TWO-TIMER
Mackie OOh, I'm liking that.
New member, Lyrics only contributor, looking to collaborate.
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Tom--
That was years ago--I'm over her now--You go ahead and write the song--She was a TOUGH WOMAN--
Mackie
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G'Morin' T-Bro!
Nice'n Blues-y, Amigo.
I'd sug "Know her thoughts come back" instead of "Know she'll be back"..in V2.
Try "..& never answered" in place of "& didn't answer".
Ditto: "& I can dream down a DIFFERENT road"
Hear Music as I read...a good sign!
Good Luck with a Good'n', Amigo! (Those German Gals & I never did hit it off. Luckily I found me my little Schwietzer over-there & it all worked out pretty dern well!)
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
Last edited by "Tampa Stan" Good; 06/04/11 10:07 PM.
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Stan The Man--
I appreciate your insight--I'll have to do a little tweaking' on the re-write--I appreciate your input.
It's almost too hot to write here in Tennessee--We broke a 100 year record today.
Later,
Mackie
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HAVE DONE A COMPLETE RE-WRITE--COMMENTS WELCOME-- CRY A RIVER © 2011 Mackie Humphries V1 Got another bottle Of vintage scotch We're here together Both on the rocks Those warning signs I should've seen them Now baby's gone And took my dream. CH Her memories - they still haunt me Old photographs - then we were happy But now she's gone - I can't reach her When I wake up ……… I cry a river ……...perhaps since you are speaking of waking up, you would put in this chorus something about being asleep, maybe you are asleep due to the drinking or something, maybe make it where you are having sweet dreams of her and then when you wake and see she is still gone, you cry a river...funny how it has been mentioned this title being used before, Justin Timberlake came to mind when I hear the lyric title...he wrote one after he and Britney Spears broke up...  V2 In morning' light I dry my eyes Know she’ll be back After midnight-- this part is/was a bit confusing because I thought wait, does he mean when he sleeps she is back...maybe instead of after midnight, though I know you are going for the light rhyme, I feel it needs to be a bit clearer you mean when you are asleep. jmhoTo prod me on Knowing I miss her She'll let me know It ain’t over. .......................SOLO...................... CH 2 Her memories - they still haunt me Old love letters - that I still keep Some I forgot - or didn't answer-- ok. if she sent love letters, why would you not answer them? this kinda made me go, huh? jmho When I wake up ……… I cry a river……... BR Maybe in time she’ll let me go And I can dream down another road. CH 3 Her memories - they still haunt me Found a key set - to our first Jeep Those old back roads - fields of clover When I wake up ……… I cry a river……... TAG I cry a river……... I cry a river……... Mackie
Good luck with it:)
Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Hi Mackie, This is looking good. I have a small suggestion, well really it's not a suggestion, it's just the way I hear it; Now MY baby's gone And took AWAY my dream. I look forward to hearing it with music!  Dottie
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KIM--
YEAH--YOU NUDGED ME ENOUGH TO DO EDIT 1 (POSTED IN BLUE)
NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND-- BUT CLOSE, MAYBE--PROBABLY STILL NEEDS SOME WORK--I APPRECIATE YOUR HELP--
Mackie
Last edited by Mackie H.; 06/01/11 05:50 PM.
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DOTTIE--
ALWAYS APPRECIATE YOU TAKING A LOOK--SEE THE EDIT 1 IN BLUE ABOVE
LATER,
Mackie
Last edited by Mackie H.; 06/01/11 05:51 PM.
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Howdy Mackie!
Let me start by saying this is a real fine write! You've got my head-tune hummin'!
The only thing that tripped me a little was this part:
I STILL SEE US - ON THOSE BACK ROADS
Found THE SPARE KEY - to OUR OLD Jeep
RIDING ON PAST - fieldS of clover
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……
When I read this through it feels like "I found the key to our old Jeep while riding past fields of clover...". Kinda out of order. So maybe it needs some rearrangement like:
Found the spare key- to our old Jeep
I remembered us - on those back roads
riding on past - fields of clover
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
Or somesuch... anyhow you get the idea. Keep or sweep.
Anyhow, best o' luck with it!
-Uncle Chuck
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Chuck--
Thanks to you and others, I may get this one whipped in better shape--I re-wrote CH3 in brown--may need a little more feathering--
I appreciate your help--I'm still working on some music ideas--
I am listening to my feedback--thanks for taking time to read and critique the lyric.
Mackie
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when i wake up...i cry a river,nice Mackie,i was waitin' for you to finish this one.
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MICHAEL--
THANKS--WE'VE WORN THIS ONE DOWN TO A NUB, EH!
Thanks for hanging on!
Don't know when I'll get the music done, though--
Mackie
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Hi Mackie...(and nice to meet you)... I like this line too!! When I wake up ……… I cry a river……... Nice writing.... best, Kaley
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KALEY--
Thanks for your positive take on this lyric--I haven't finished the music on this one yet--Checked your Music--You have some beautiful songs on your site!
Later,
Mackie
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This would also work as an AABA:
I Cry A River
DEEP IN THE NIGHT - SHE still haunts me
THOSE PICTURES - When we were happy
WITH LOVE LONG GONE - I can't reach her
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
Her memories - they still haunt me
Old love letters - that I still keep
Some I forgot - or didn't answer
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
Bridge
Got another bottle
Of vintage scotch
HOPE TO FORGET
ALL THE HARD KNOCKS
Those warning signs
I should've seen them
THOUGH baby's gone
SHE'S IN my dream.
Another memory - keeps coming back
Our old Jeep quits - as cars zoom past
The long walk back - soft fields of clover
When I wake up ……… I cry a river……...
Just a thought. Nice lyric Mackie.
Peace,
Ian
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Ian--
I appreciate you taking some time with this one--I don't have music yet to this lyric--still working on it, If you are interested in working on this one as a co-write, drop me an email--mackie2@comcast.net.
I struggle with the music, as you know--
I'm always listening to you--
Mackie
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THIS ONE HAS CHANGED A LOT--THE RED PRINT VERSION IS THE LATEST RE-ARRANGED VERSION--IS IT BETTER?--GETTING DOWN TO THE LAST BREATH!
THANKS!
Mackie
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I like this Mackie,
You don't really know if the relationship is just over, or if she's dead also. I like that. I like the mystery. I think it adds a good tension.
Peace,
Ian
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Ian--
I'm working on some music--
Mackie
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