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#899957 - 05/23/11 12:53 AM "Tell Me How" - Collab with Spidey - Critique - Country Rock  
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 262
dtrain1234 Offline
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dtrain1234  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 262
Hi folks,

This was a collaboration I did with another NSAI member and our member Spidey. We had the the song critiqued before having it demoed in Nashville. I would appreciate any constructive criticism or feedback you have for the song. Thanks for listening!

"Tell Me How"
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10670190

"Tell Me How"
Words and music by Darin Martin (ASCAP)/ Jared Thibeau (SOCAN)/ Alan Foran (TBD) 2011
Produced by Larry Beaird Music Group
Vocals by Tania Hancheroff
All rights reserved.

VERSE ONE
I read seven self help books front to back
They said girl move on, you gotta be strong, get your life back on track
Made it sound easy as a one-two-three
But they donít know the hold that you got on me

Cause I tried everything
To get over you
But letting go of love
Is a hard thing to do

CHORUS
If your name keeps coming up on my phone
And your facebook page still says youíre alone
And the radio keeps playing our favorite song
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me, how do I move on?

VERSE TWO
They finally took down the old Ferris wheel
Remember the day you made me stay riding till you could say how you feel?
Itís these kind of memories I gotta let go
But itís easier said than done you know

Cause I tried everything
To get over you
But letting go of love
Is impossible to do

CHORUS
If your name keeps coming up on my phone
And your facebook page still says youíre alone
And the radio keeps playing our favorite song
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me, how do I move on?

BRIDGE
I tried making a list of anything you ever did wrong
I tried drawing devils horns on every picture of you
And just when Iím feeling OK and think Iím getting on
I see you walking and talking laughing and holding someone new

CHORUS
And now your name ainít coming up on my phone
And your facebook no longer says youíre alone
And youíve got a brand new favorite song
So tell me how, tell me how, tell me, how do I move
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me, how do I move
Tell me how, tell me how, tell me, how do I move on?

#899987 - 05/23/11 05:55 AM Re: "Tell Me How" - Collab with Spidey - Critique - Country Rock [Re: dtrain1234]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,347
Charlie Wong Offline
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Charlie Wong  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,347
Las Vegas, NV
Hey this is nice song man! It has obviously been through the NSAI critique process which is tough, (been through it a few times myself). If anything I would suggest a bit of a change in the phrasing of the lyrics in certain areas (some parts sound rushed to get all the words in, others it seems to be drug out a bit too long) but otherwise like I said, this is a good song man!


Best Regards and Aloha,

Charlie
#900009 - 05/23/11 08:57 AM Re: "Tell Me How" - Collab with Spidey - Critique - Country Rock [Re: Charlie Wong]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 451
Mark Cockerill Offline
Serious Contributor
Mark Cockerill  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 451
Scunthorpe, North Lincs, Engla...
Now I'm no expert in country music but this song is so perfectly precise that it seems it was written to follow a set of statute laws on song writing, only thing missing was the obligatory guitar solo or did I miss that. Vocals were excellent but very predictable if you know what I mean, not that I know what I mean either.

Brilliant job by all involved, I guess this should be a smash in country circles.

I hope this comes across as I meant it and probably not as it reads.

#900456 - 05/25/11 09:54 AM Re: "Tell Me How" - Collab with Spidey - Critique - Country Rock [Re: Mark Cockerill]  
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 442
dmk Offline
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dmk  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 442
PA.usa
i would have made the chorus, "tell me how do i get over you", the existing hook lines seem too busy,to me.
other wise it works and is very catchy.

peace ,dmk

Last edited by dmk; 05/25/11 09:55 AM.
#900468 - 05/25/11 11:29 AM Re: "Tell Me How" - Collab with Spidey - Critique - Country Rock [Re: dmk]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 158
Darrell Lee Offline
Serious Contributor
Darrell Lee  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 158
Georgia
Darin, If the current "Nashville" sound is what your after, It sounds like you're there to me. For me, Having the tune Pre-critiqued by some higher authority does not legitimitize it for me at all. I have always felt that the writer is the most critical of all..but that's just me. You mentioned it was critiqued. Just curious, What were the suggestions by those critiquers ? Does this mean that this final product is the culmination of those critiques ?. I also agree wholeheartedly with Charlie in that there are places where the singer has to double-toungue to get everything said in one sentence and other places where it drags out almost as if it needs MORE words. It has balance and storyline conflicts...for me.. Love the chorus !!!

Last edited by Darrell Lee; 05/25/11 01:36 PM.

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