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Hi guys. I have missed the site, been gone for a while, not online as much due to deaths and illness in the family. Please ignore the production/vocal.--this was my original with my singing and The computer program I use is limited in sounds, etc.. and I want it to pop more, but... OLD RECORDING old one http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10662470NEW RECORDING ADDED below 6/20/11---with new lyrics, faster pace and new singer.. which are below --old below those to compare....I tried to take into acct. the advice given on making the hook fit the lyric better, I hope I was able to achieve that..please let me know your thoughts on this... thanks...Special thanks to Valerie Cox (wierdrelatives) for her vocals on this one!!!NEW version=== http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10769183Love is Not for Cowards REVISED JUNE 20 I'm in love with you But lately I’m bored I crave adventure and I feel ignored How long has it been since we were reckless? Made the kind of love That leaves us breathless? Chorus Missing Superman, are you missing Lois Lane? we made our share of headlines, but something has changed I need my hero ( to rescue me) Our love still has the power we can't give up now (can't give up now) cause love is not for cowards No, no, (no no) no, no, (no no) no love is not for cowards I don't need perfection Love waxes and wanes and life comes with its share Of runaway trains Come alittle closer win me with your finesse you'll feel bulletproof when I kiss you senseless Chorus musical break Bridge I'm no fortress, my doors aren't chained come on in, my strong one, my brave and we can soar .... up up and away let love save the day Chorus tag Love is not for cowards © Kimberly Hales Kime BMI All Rights Reserved Love is Not for Cowards OLD lyrics... I’m in love with you But lately I’m bored Staring at the television Dazed and ignored How long has it been since we were reckless? Made the kind of love That leaves us breathless Chorus You’re my Superman I’m your Lois Lane. It don’t matter now, who or what’s to blame. ‘Cause your my hero (rescue me) Our love has super powers And we know by now Love is not for Cowards No, no, no, no, no love is not for cowards Don’t expect perfect Love waxes and wanes Life comes with its share Of runaway trains I’ll give all I can Listen more, and talk less Make time count for more And kiss you senseless Chorus Bridge We’re born alone, we die the same We can only hope that in between We trust enough for love to come And save the day. come in and save the day Chorus no, love is not for cowards © Kimberly Hales Kime BMI All Rights Reserved 2011
Last edited by Kimberlyinnc; 06/20/11 10:54 PM.
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Hi Kimberly:
I don't know anything about current pop/rock but, yes, I thought this was catchy.
Your vocal is heavily processed but I reckon it works for this genre. I know you said to ignore but I'm curious - is that you singing or something else? If something else, what? LOL.
I love the hook on this - my only nit on the song is that the hook line seems under-emphasized in the delivery. Other than that, lyric, melody, bridge and tempo work for me.
Scott
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Kim--
I like the beat and idea of the song--I think that too much FX on vocal hides the emotion of the song (JMHO)--Vocals need to be up a little--two or three DB.
Write on GIRL--
Mackie
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Hi Kimberly:
I don't know anything about current pop/rock but, yes, I thought this was catchy. thanks!!
Your vocal is heavily processed but I reckon it works for this genre. I know you said to ignore but I'm curious - is that you singing or something else? If something else, what? LOL. Yes it is my singing, if you can call it that. I just sang into the mic, I didn't add any reverb or anything...not sure how it seems too processed...may be my mic, it's not the best nor is audicity.. I love the hook on this - my only nit on the song is that the hook line seems under-emphasized in the delivery. Other than that, lyric, melody, bridge and tempo work for me. My voice is its so hard for me to hold a note or to sing out...I used to could better but I got out of the habit and can't hold my breath very long or reach the higher notes anymore...but, I will work on that more, I may have someone that is thinking about singing it for me, once I am sure on the lyrics and music, she is a better singer than me, 100% better...thanks for checking it out -Scott!!!--KIM Scott
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thanks Mackie, I will try to make my vocals louder in it, but I didn't add any effect to it at all...except for fading at the end...so I am not sure why it sounds that way other than just my home based equipment...but thanks for your kind words and input on how to improve it:)
KIM
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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I’ve been meaning to get round to this one for ages, Kim. I’ll leave the music to people who know something about it, other than to say I find the music nice but I’d like to hear a more dynamic change-up into the chorus, and more variations in the chorus melody. As for the lyrics: Good concept (yours usually are ) about rekindling love/passion and some good lines. However, the chorus is disconnected from the lyrics, and the bridge is philosophical and abstract. Needs more of a personal twist. My first suggestion is to change the title/hook. Give it a positive not a negative spin: e.g." Love Is For The Brave". Already this sets up a different vibe. The word “cowards” has such negative connotations, and it’s a pity to hit the reader with those at the get-go. The verses/bridge don’t connect with the chorus. Nothing in the verses leads naturally into a Superman/Lois Lane concept. I think too the “superman” thing has been overdone. I’d like to see a chorus where the singer is reminding the man how dashing, brave (emotionally), and attractive he used to be, and encouraging him to fall back on to that power, that dedication and passion. I hope my comments are useful. KOS, of course. Donna Love is not for Cowards Suggest a title/hook with a positive spin. The current title doesn't grab, and the word "cowards" has negative connotations. Perhaps something like "Love Is For The Brave".v1 I’m still in love with you Or "Still in love with you" if you want to keep the metering to five syllables.But lately I’m bored Staring at the television Dazed and ignored I don't think "dazed" is the right word here. How about simply "Feeling ignored".v2 How long has it been since we were reckless? Made the kind of love That leaves us breathless Chorus I think this could be shortened to 6 lines for more impact. Suggest re-thinking the chorus as a whole. I'd drop the whole Superman/Lois Lane thing.You’re my Superman N o connect to the preceding verses.I’m your Lois Lane. It don’t matter now, No connection between lines 1/2 and 3/4.who or what’s to blame. ‘Cause your my hero (rescue me) Our love has super powers This contradicts what's going on in the verses. Something like "Love can have super-powers" could work better.And we know by now Love is not for Cowards No, no, no, no, no love is not for cowards v3 I like these lines. Good imagery.Don’t expect perfect Love waxes and wanes Life comes with its share Of runaway trains v4 I’ll give all I can Suggest a more concrete image. Or even something like "I'll make changes too", to indicate she's accepting responsibility as well.Listen more, and talk less Make time count for more Re-think for something fresher. Avoid double use of "more".And kiss you senseless Chorus Bridge I'd re-think this, Kim. It's abstract and philosophical. Make it personal, intimate, and give it a fresh twist. Maybe say something about how he's turning to the singer and she can see that something is happening with him, maybe that old spark is lighting in his eyes, or whatever.We’re born alone, we die the same We can only hope that in between We trust enough for love to come And save the day. come in and save the day Chorus © Kimberly Hales Kime 2011 BMI All Rights Reserved [/quote]
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hi, i like it and i really like the chorus alot, it pops just fine to me. a dynamic singer( clue-less about pink) would imo make this a hit. i like the melody. i think it's a good song/effort. the lyrics all worked for me except the line,"love waxes and wanes". i would use "comes and goes" because there is one less syllable and i think sings better. otherwise, like i said, i like it.
cheers, dmk
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Hi Kimberly, It all worked for me Im impressed with your lyrics here. I don't know TOO much about Pink, but I could see Lucinda Williams singing it. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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"Make time count for more..and kiss you sensless"..brilliant !! I love your voice. Wonderful write. I got a Pat Benetar feeling from it and I just worshiped her work. Haunting and forboding and begs that you need to "Man up" to love....Great Job !!
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I don't know, I think the production and the vocal presence is pretty good. If you could record better/shape the vocal a little more, I think it would be all you ever need to get your demos out there. You do pretty well with jammer, it sounds fine to me.
The chorus is pretty catchy. I am not quite sure that you supported the title/hook in the lyric -- but I really like that line: "Love is not for Cowards"
Kevin
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HI Kim, Welcome back, As has been noted, the verses don't support--lead into , the C well. If you want to keep Superman and Lois, then maybe rewrite V 2something in the order of this-------------- Superman was in the habit of sweeping Lois off her feet I think KOS of course Wy
THERE'S FIRE DEEP INSIDE-- OPENING LINE SEEM TOO "WELL USED" But lately I’m bored Staring at the television ? and ignored
You swept me off my feet When we were young and reckless Made the kind of love That left me breathless
Chorus You’re my Superman I’m your Lois Lane. It don’t matter now, who or what’s to blame. ‘Cause your my hero (rescue me) Our love has super powers And we know by now Love is not for Cowards
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I enjoyed this one. It's kinda similar in lyric to "Krypton in my pocket" but people seem to like this kind of imagery and if being similar was a disqualifier then 3/4 of the songs would have to be recalled. I would can the "runaway train line" though. I love Pink too! Best of luck.
Pete
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Hi Kimberly, I did not read the other comments, just giving my impressions firsthand.
VERY GOOD LYRICS overall. Nothing wrong with the music, if a change was to be made I would make the melody "soar" more in the chorus to differentiate it (sounds too similar to the verses) by taking the melodic line up a third or even a fifth if you can hit it. Maybe change to a set of relative minor chords there as well.
But I was impressed by the words, really nice. Good moving backbeat from your computer setup, too.
Best Regards and Aloha,
Charlie
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Real potential here. Little less vocal processing will help.
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I’ve been meaning to get round to this one for ages, Kim. Thanks for taking a look, I am so sorry it took me so freaking long to respond, my computer has messed up twice in the past 3 weeks and last Tuesday my brother had to reformat the whole thing. now trying to play catch up..I’ll leave the music to people who know something about it, other than to say I find the music nice but I’d like to hear a more dynamic change-up into the chorus, and more variations in the chorus melody. I will do the best I can, but it is Jam, ya know...As for the lyrics: Good concept (yours usually are ) about rekindling love/passion and some good lines. However, the chorus is disconnected from the lyrics, and the bridge is philosophical and abstract. Needs more of a personal twist. My first suggestion is to change the title/hook. Give it a positive not a negative spin: e.g." Love Is For The Brave". Not rocking the love is for the brave, sorry... I may end up using love is not for cowards in another lyrics...in this I Had to rhyme flowers and it limited us...(part of the contest)Already this sets up a different vibe. The word “cowards” has such negative connotations, and it’s a pity to hit the reader with those at the get-go. I feel in a different song with someone talking about not being afraid to do what it takes to make love work would be ok for cowards, I hear it as a PINK style song and she would be blunt..The verses/bridge don’t connect with the chorus. Nothing in the verses leads naturally into a Superman/Lois Lane concept. I think too the “superman” thing has been overdone. I’d like to see a chorus where the singer is reminding the man how dashing, brave (emotionally), and attractive he used to be, and encouraging him to fall back on to that power, that dedication and passion. I hope my comments are useful. KOS, of course. Donna Love is not for Cowards Suggest a title/hook with a positive spin. The current title doesn't grab, and the word "cowards" has negative connotations. Perhaps something like "Love Is For The Brave".v1 I’m still in love with you Or "Still in love with you" if you want to keep the metering to five syllables.But lately I’m bored Staring at the television Dazed and ignored I don't think "dazed" is the right word here. How about simply "Feeling ignored".v2 How long has it been since we were reckless? Made the kind of love That leaves us breathless Chorus I think this could be shortened to 6 lines for more impact. Suggest re-thinking the chorus as a whole. I'd drop the whole Superman/Lois Lane thing.You’re my Superman N o connect to the preceding verses.I’m your Lois Lane. It don’t matter now, No connection between lines 1/2 and 3/4.who or what’s to blame. ‘Cause your my hero (rescue me) Our love has super powers This contradicts what's going on in the verses. Something like "Love can have super-powers" could work better.And we know by now Love is not for Cowards No, no, no, no, no love is not for cowards v3 I like these lines. Good imagery.Don’t expect perfect Love waxes and wanes Life comes with its share Of runaway trains v4 I’ll give all I can Suggest a more concrete image. Or even something like "I'll make changes too", to indicate she's accepting responsibility as well.Listen more, and talk less Make time count for more Re-think for something fresher. Avoid double use of "more".And kiss you senseless Chorus Bridge I'd re-think this, Kim. It's abstract and philosophical. Make it personal, intimate, and give it a fresh twist. Maybe say something about how he's turning to the singer and she can see that something is happening with him, maybe that old spark is lighting in his eyes, or whatever.We’re born alone, we die the same We can only hope that in between We trust enough for love to come And save the day. come in and save the day Chorus © Kimberly Hales Kime 2011 BMI All Rights Reserved [/quote] Donna, I have printed all of this off and when I do my re-write, which I hope will be soon, I will take every one of your suggestions to heart, as I always do with yours. Thanks for your time and your kindness...hugs
KIM
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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hi, i like it and i really like the chorus alot, it pops just fine to me. a dynamic singer( clue-less about pink) would imo make this a hit. i like the melody. i think it's a good song/effort. the lyrics all worked for me except the line,"love waxes and wanes". i would use "comes and goes" because there is one less syllable and i think sings better. otherwise, like i said, i like it.
cheers, dmk Thank you so much for your very kind words, and if you are clueless about Pink, you should check her out:) _-Thanks, again--Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thank you Calvin...Lucinda Williams huh? it would be a totally different vibe, but she is good. Love her songwriting.. Thanks for checking this out...sorry it took me a while to respond ..computer problems over the past 3 weeks...
Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thank you so much...man, you love MY voice? That is a shock, I really don't think I can sing worth dirt, and have someone else who is planning to sing this when I get it where I need it to be. I am glad you liked it. I needed some good news today.. KIM
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Hi Kevin, the vocal and performance is something that someone else is going to do once I am 100% on the lyrics. I had that complaint about the love is not for cowards working with the rest of the song so I may just write another using that hook and make a new one for this, not sure. I just want it to be something in the style of Pink. Thanks for taking a listen and for checking it out--KIM
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thank you Wyman for your suggestions and for taking time to listen and comment:)You are always very kind to check out my stuff...
Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Hi Pete, I have been trying to find that song you mentioned and had no luck...can you help me?
I love Pink as well, love her voice, her attitude and her writing...
I am glad you saw some potential in this one and I Hope when I get my fellow coll. to sing it, it will sound stronger and work better, once I work on the lyrics a bit more
Thanks so much.
KIM
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Charlie, I can see if there is a way to go up on that, it is hard using a computer program to do music, it is limited and with my NOT being a musician, it makes it even harder as I am just going by ear. Perhaps when the lady sings it for me, once I get the lyrics where I want them, she can make that chorus soar with her vocals and make it better, my vocals are limited. Thanks for checking it out KIM
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Thank you Mark. I didn't process or reverb the voice but maybe it is just audcity doing wrong or my mic...maybe when Val sings it it will work better, as she has better equipment and can sing a lot better than I can.
Thanks for your kind words
Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Hi Kim, The first thing I want to say is I like this a lot better hearing it. Just started it and the first thing that came to me was what about having V2 as a lift? I’m not sure about Superman and Lois Lane, perhaps if it was worded a little different. Here is what I’m thinking, you’re saying you’re both sitting around watching TV, it doesn’t seem like he is acting like Superman. Perhaps something more like “Can/Will you be my Superman” because he is obviously not being at the moment. I’m also not sure what cowards, who is right or wrong, has to do with anything you haven’t set up an argumentative phrase so I don’t get what that has to do with sitting around being bored. I guess what I’m saying is the chorus feels out of place but the verses paint a picture and go together well. On a positive note I think you did a very good job with the music and while the vocal is a bit low you sing it really well! To wrap this up I think with a little work on the chorus the song could be a lot stronger. Dottie
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Dottie, you and I have talked privately about your suggestions and I thank you so much for your input. I hope you will like this verion better Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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The hook is strong Kim and I'd build the song around that, not the Superman theme. I liked the slower version better. It's tought to get so close to a song and decide which path to take it on.
Zeek
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