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Is this song worth putting more effort into.

Second Chance
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=6526181

writing as i listen(i'll go back to fully read the whole lyric. want to answer your question..what? are you kidding, this is awesome. so YES give it a second chance, a third and a fouth and stay with it. imo it is definately worth it, the first verse drew me right in. the lady you've been blessed to have as a singer really makes your words even better.hope i don't sound over the top, but i really like this song. stay with it.

shalomm, dmk

hi again just gave it another listen and read the lyrics. heres my only crit on the lyrics (and it's only my 2 cents) you could concider a bit more variety in this one part:

instead of repeating the line, shutting me out won't stop my heart from beating for you, how about saying it again this way.

shutting me out won't stop my heart from beat'n for you
walk' away from this love won't keep my heart from want'n you.

does'nt have to be these words but what i mean is, rather than repeat the same thing just repeat the thot with other words.

that's all the chang'n i'd do, lovely song, great words.

dmk

Heather can make any lyric seem like the golden egg....great song, great job by Heather...she does about all my female demos for me.....she has the voice of an angel....so wonderful and this song was a good one for her to sing...so, great job and hope this answers your question..


glyn

Hi Scott,

This seems to already be pretty far along. And it sounds great just acoustic and vocals. What more are you thinking about adding? (Oh I just realized maybe you meant the lyrics )

Anyway it was very nice to listen to.
take care,
glen

Dmk , Yes the bridge is the part that is not working for me, nice suggestion; heather has done a fantastic job singing the lyrics.
Glynda , Thanks for the listen.
Glen, Yes the lyrics for the bridge.

Thanks for taking the time to listen and offer feedback.

Hi Scott,

First of all heck yes stay with this one. You've got 90% of the basics in there. Heather does a magnificent job--i've used hr on a couple of my songs--she's the best. I agree with DMK--about th bridge and he gave you a great suggestion. I was going to offer up something--till I read his suggestion. go with that one it's a great idea. A little tweaking with the bridge and you're good to go. very nice job. Take care,
Roger

Scott, this is a lovely song and you should def. keep going on it. The bridge stopped me because I wanted more there just as others have said, but dmk game you a wonderful suggestion before me, so you have heard from one of the best already. He made perfect sense there. Those last two bridge lines really do need to be more impactive.....but that is an easy fix.
You have one of the very best country vocalists on this one. Heather and I have worked together for years now....and she always gives a lyric, so much of her heart and soul....and it really shines through. We all love her on this board. I am blessed that she will record one of my songs on her next cd. I couldn't be happier. If you listen to the songs on my soundclick page, you will hear Heather on many of them. I hope the same for you someday.

This is a beautiful song.....keep writing everyday. If I can ever be of any help....you need only to ask.

I'm so glad that I listened, Scott.

Janice

Hi Scott:

This is already real close in my opinion. Before reading any of the other comments, my only thought was that the bridge didn't really work.

I see now you have been given some suggestions above. I'll add one other. I think it can be effective to keep the third line of the bridge the same as the first - but make the fourth different from the second. In other words repeating the first line of a thought but ending with a different second line can have impact.

Of course, you can also change both the third and fourth lines of the bridge. If so, I'd consider rhyming the first and third lines with each other. (Of course 2nd and fourth should rhyme with each other as well). Bridges have a lot more impact, in my opinion, when you use this structure.

All just one opinion, of course....

Scott

I don't get over her much. I usually get in trouble
Well, since the bridge seems to be about the only thing in question, I'll take a shot at that. I thought , for one thing, it'd be nice for it to lead directly back into the Chorus
So, for what it's worth
KOS
B
Shutting me out will not stop
A heart still beating true
If you'll let me back in
This is what I want from you

Roger,Janice,Scott and Wyman, Thanks for taking the time to help me figure out what to do with this song. Your suggestions are great.