JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 MY NIGHT TIME LOVER--MACKIE H

I GET EXCITED WHEN LADIES PUT ON LOW CUTS AND SHORTS--JOGS THE OLD MEMORY--WELL, COMMENTS IF YOU WILL--

LIKE MOST OF MY SONGS--THE 1ST REWRITE

[color:#CC0000]2ND EDIT--THE TITLE CHANGE FROM "MY PART TIME LOVER" TO MY NIGHT TIME LOVER"

MY NIGHT TIME LOVER
© 2011 Mackie Humphries

INTRO
My NIGHT time lover....My NIGHT time lover....

V1
Like from a dream comes my lady
When she walks in I go crazy
We’re best of friends yes, undercover
Haven’t forgotten our last all nighter.

V2
She reaches out and takes my hand
A gleam in her eye she understands
My heart’s revvin’ up near red line
She’s mine again for one last time.

CH
She has me eatin’ outta her hand
Like that first night I’m still her man
In mornin’ light lips on my skin
She has to go free as the wind.

.....................SOLO.......................

BR
My NIGHT time lover that’s what she is
My NIGHT time lover she never quits
Keeps comin’ back when she needs me.

CH
She has me eatin’ outta her hand
Like that first night I’m still her man
In mornin’ light lips on my skin
She has to go free as the wind.

OUTRO
In mornin’ light lips on my skin
She has to go free as the wind
My NIGHT time lover....My NIGHT time lover...[/color]



.....................ORIGINAL........................

PART TIME LOVER
© 2011 Mackie Humphries

INTRO
Part time lover....Part time lover....

V1
Out of my past comes my lady
When she’s around I go crazy
We’re old friends yes, undercovers
I can’t forget those great all nighters.

V2
She reaches out and takes my hand
A gleam in her eyes she understands
My heart’s revvin’ up near red line
I’m fallin’ again for one last time.

CH
She has me eatin’ outta her hand
Down deep inside I’m still her man
But she never likes to be tied down
After we make love she’ll leave town.

.....................SOLO.......................

BR
Part time lover that’s what she is
Part time lover she never quits
Keeps comin’ back to make me happy.

CH
She has me eatin’ outta her hand
Down deep inside I’m still her man
But she never likes to be tied down
After we make love she’ll leave town.

OUTRO
No, she never likes to be tied down
After we make love she’ll leave town
Part time lover....Part time lover....

Mackie

Mackie:

First time I believe posting on your lyrics/songs. When I saw the title, I thought haven't I heard a song with that same title from the seventies. I an racking my brain who the singer was?

Don't know if you care about this or not, but had to mention it.



Miz. Petra

PETRA--

IF YOU GOOGLE THE TITLE--THERE ARE SEVERAL--STEVIE WONDER--COPELAND
50 CENTS, AND OTHERS--I COULD CHANGE IT TO MY PART TIME LOVER--NONE WITH THAT TITLE COME UP--I ONLY KNOW OF ONE TITLE YOU CAN'T USE--
"HEARTBREAK HOTEL"--IT MUST HAVE A TRADEMARK OF SOME OTHER REASON--THROUGH THE YEARS THERE ARE A LOT OF SAME TITLE SONGS--

I APPRECIATE YOU STOPPING BY TO CHECK ON THIS ONE--

Later,

Mackie

Okay Mackie,

Looked under ASCAP search titles;

PART TIME LOVER - there are 32 songs with this tile

LOOKED UNDER BMI search titles;

PART TIME LOVER - there are 74 songs with this title

BUT, get this NO songs under ASCAP OR BMI

With this title whatsoever!! I know you googled this but thought perhaps you didn't search the performance rights organizaitons, hope you don't mind.

MY PART TIME LOVER



Miz. Petra

Hi Mackie,
Good hook--looks like it's working pretty good
Most of what stuck out to me was in the first v--two "my's" in the first line--not a biggie and the last two lines rhyme a suffix, I think you call those things which some would frown on.
Anyway, another take on V 1

V1
Out of THE past comes my lady--(3RD LINE PUTS IT IN HIS PAST
When she’s around I go crazy
We’re old friends yes, undercovers
Great all nighters, CRAZY LOVERS--(OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT)

Worth some more work

PETRA--

I LOVE A HOOK THAT HAS BEEN USED--IT WORKS! ADDED MY PART TIME LOVER--

I'VE ALWAYS FELT THERE HAS TO BE MORE THAN A HOOK THOUGH--THE CENTRAL IDEA BROUGHT HOME--FOR ALL TO INTERPRET AS THEY WISH--

Mackie

WY--

I'm Not afraid to CHANGE THINGS at the DROP OF A HAT--If you get time re-read the RE-WRITE IN PURPLE--PROBABLY NEEDS SOME MORE NUDGING--

THANKS--

Mackie

My, I think works great, more personal,I believe.

Works really well.

IMO

Miz. Petra

MIZ PETRA--

THANKS AGAIN--

Mackie

HiDee TennesseeBro!

Pretty Good Write..tho, as stands, we get NOTHIN' concerning her looks/her "technique"/her "situation"/her...(Whatever)...

JMO, but WHY is she so much BETTER than your FULL-Time Lover?

(I'll sug "Variety"..heh-heh..but you've prolly got an even-Better Reason/&, with any luck, It's UNIVERSAL.)

Fill in more of the W W W W W & H and you gotcha a Big Winner.

Good Luck with it..it's Already Good, Amigo!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

STAN THE MAN--

My adverbial STUFF IS KINDA HIDDEN in this one LOVE IS IN BETWEEN THE LINES AND SHEETS.

Part time lover= WHO
Now = WHEN
Because she wants to=WHY
My place = WHERE

Adjective STUFF--

Drives me Crazy
Friendly undercover
My heart's beatin' fast
Lovin' the whole night THRU
Lips on my skin

Finally --

We made love
She's through til the next time
Just part time that's all

I don't even know her name!


Stan--Thanks for trying to make an honest writer out of me--lol

Thanks for your keen feedback--

Mackie

Mackie, it's a great song, but as the others said, I think you could change the title. Use something original. You're a very excellent lyricist and an original one. Put in an original title. Maybe:

ONLY A LOVER
A LOVER BUT NO FRIEND
(SHE'S)JUST THERE FOR THE LOVING
TEMPORARY LOVER
JUST A LOVER
CONVENIENT LOVE(R)
THE LOVE IS MISSING

Or something like that. Make it your own song. MY PART TIME LOVER still sounds to much like the title that's been around.

This is just my opinion. I could be wrong.

SYLVIA--

I've change the title to My Night Time Lover--I'll try it--It has not been used as much--If you wait long enough, an old title will be NEW AGAIN--We'll try NIGHT and see--Re-read if you get time--Thanks-

Mackie

Night time lover good as well.

Do you do the music as well?

You and Stan both spin them out pretty fast!

Petra

I Your nicknames will be The SPIN MASTERS, from now on.

You can weave anything out of nothing. Talent

Miz. Petra

Night time lover good as well.

Do you do the music as well?

You and Stan both spin them out pretty fast!

Petra

PETRA--

I only write if I have a pretty good Idea or story to work with--I'm 72 and have a lot of HISTORY and LIVING to DRAW FROM! SO MUCH I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ABOUT--IF I LIVE LONG ENOUGH MAYBE ANOTHER 2000 LYRICS.

I ALWAYS FELT THAT OUT OF ALL OF THEM THERE MAY BE ONE GOOD ONE.

I DO SOME MUSIC, GUITAR-HARP-BASS AND SOME KEYBOARD--MAINLY GUITAR, IS THE INSTRUMENT, I WRITE WITH--I ALWAYS HEAR SOME MUSIC WHEN I WRITE--
SOMETIMES I CAN'T PLAY IT THOUGH.

I HAVE 34 SONGS POSTED ON SOUNDCLICK: SOME BETTER THAN OTHERS--GIVE A LISTEN IF YOU GET TIME.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1003914&content=music


Mackie

AMAZING MACKIE,

You write like a young man! Will check them out once i get my other pc out of the shop come Friday...this older pc on now won't allow me to play soundclick.

Miz. Petra

Mackie,

I like that title. Great, and you're never old.

SYLVIA--

THANKS FOR YOUR KINDNESS--I don't feel OLDER, until I try to climb a tree……………..THEN, I REALIZE……………..TIME TO GET SOMEONE ELSE TO CLIMB!

I made a lot of changes to this one including the TITLE, a couple of times.

I appreciate you checking this one out.

Mackie