Who's Online Now
6 members (Gary E. Andrews, Everett Adams, VNORTH2, couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, Perry Neal Crawford), 4,228 guests, and 268 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Backhand Blue
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/29/24 07:48 AM
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Here's the final mix. Rob and I hope you enjoy it.
Thank you all for the feedback. wink


Donna

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10487072

Take Off The Noose

(v1)
Your wife’s been cheating
You miss your best friend
You wonder if the madness
Will ever end

(v2)
Your daughter’s pregnant
Her boyfriend’s in jail
You don't have a job and can’t
Help with bail

Pre-chorus
But don’t push ‘panic’, don't go manic
You can get a grip, get on top of it

Chorus
Take off the noose
Put on the kettle
Show the world
You’re a man of mettle
You’re gonna stop rollin’
Like a runaway caboose
Hey put on the kettle
Take off the noose

(v3)
The weather’s insane
More species are gone
You ask [yourself] how long can
This go on

(v4)
Politicians once
Did their best to lead
Now they’re like jackals closing
In to feed

Pre-chorus
But don’t push ‘panic’,don't go manic
You can get a grip, get on top of it

CHORUS

Bridge
It’s true that life can cramp your style
But it’s harder to frown than it is to smile
And nothing works better, take it from me
Than a little lie-down and a nice cup of tea

Pre-chorus
But don’t push ‘panic’, don't go manic
You can get a grip, get on top of it

CHORUS

© 2010 Donna Devine (lyrics) & Rob Bersan (music/guitar/vocals)

Last edited by DonnaMarilyn; 04/15/11 10:16 PM.

Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325
Likes: 4
Hello Donna and Rob.

From a production point of view, musically and vocally I see no problems. Everything fits well IMO.

But your words, or out-look at the lyric, is interesting. I can see some of the lightness but the fact that the "singer" is thinking about killing himself seems a tad dark.

IMO this could go either way.

Douglas


"Is this a practice? They are all practices." John Denver

www.soundclick.com/dougmurphy

Skype Contact: douglas.murphy8
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
I just don't hear this as carefree. I hear it more with a bit of an alternative edge...jmho:)
and I had to look up with mettle. I am not sure if that word will come across as what is supposed to mean, unless it's a common word where you are from..never heard that expression.

Kim

Last edited by Kimberlyinnc; 04/05/11 11:56 PM.

*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Doug and Kim, thank you for your feedback. smile

Doug, I take the point about the 'mood' going both ways. Perhaps better to let it stay in its current mood, as that's what Rob does so well. His voice and style lends itself less to 'lighthearted'.

Kim, the term a 'man of mettle' is an idiom. In fact, I have it wrong in the lyric: it should be 'of' and not 'with'. Silly me, I'll need to change that. wink I realise some folks might think 'mettle' is 'metal', but perhaps it won't matter so much. I really need to keep that rhyme. wink
Interesting that you see the lyric as having an alternative edge, which is, I think , what Rob has given it.

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Hi Donna/Rob,


Yeah, it sounds EDGY to me too, and that's cool !
Liked it pretty well, especially this part....

And nothing works better, take it from me
Than a little lie-down and a nice cup of tea



and the words - MAN OF METAL, would also work.

Good song.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Donna, I love the musical approach in this song. I think it is great and really catchy. I think the lyrics are well done as well. I am not sure that they are a good marriage together. I think your instinct is correct.

Tracy

Last edited by Tracy Harris; 04/07/11 01:31 PM.
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Calvin and Tracy, thank you for listening. smile

Glad you enjoyed the song.

Tracy, to date, it looks like you and I are in the minority. wink Everyone else (elsewhere) feels Rob's lobbed onto the right direction - kind of edgy. grin

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Donna,
I think Rob wrote a great piece. And I agree with the edgy part to. I definitely am not hearing a ballad for this one. I wish I could put into words what it is that is bugging me, but unfortunately I haven't figured it out yet. It could be something that I need to listen to a couple of times, maybe it will grow on me. I think the lyric defiinitely lends itself to edgy and catchy, but not bright. Not sure I was any help...sorry.

Tracy

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Hi Donna,

I know you said you're happy with the lyric but I can't help but mention my thoughts here. This doesn't make sense to me. smile


Chorus
Take off the noose
Put on the kettle I may be taking this all wrong! You're saying put on the kettle, like make a pot of tea and then that he's a man of mettle (vigor, strengh)I don't get the it. Or is this the wrong meaning for kettle?
Show the world
You’re a man of mettle
You’re gonna stop rollin’
Like a runaway caboose
Hey put on the kettle
Take off the noose

I like it, I just don't understand that part. smile

Dottie

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Tracy, thanks for giving this as much thought as you have. wink The consensus seems to be edgy and catchy, which Rob has captured. So we'll run with that. wink He's hoping to re-track shortly, so I'll post a new mix when I have it.

Dottie, hope I can clear it up for you. wink

The intention was to set up a tongue-in-cheek contrast: The idea of a brave man putting on the kettle to make a cup of tea. But remembering that the brave part refers back to him deciding not to kill himself but to face life and deal with problems. And often this type of decision can begin with something as simple as having a cup of tea and thinking things over.

And nothing in the lyric actually says he was planning to take such an extreme measure. It's the singer who refers to it in the chorus, and in a kind of lighthearted, almost teasing, way. (Which is why, when I wrote the lyric, I actually heard the song as more bouncy and sing-along, though Rob heard it differently. wink )

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 348
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 348
Hey Donna,

The performance has a lot of energy and is musically great. The verses flow really well into a cool pre chorus and then into a decent chorus. The chorus didn't set my world on fire melodically but I think it's a grower rather than a non goer! It a good story song and isn't bad at all. I like it. Thumbs up to you both.

JD


My Band Northfield
Our Videos
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Hey Donna

I think it sounds great for a start and heading in an interesting direction.

I know you said the lyrics are basically locked in but I have to make a point if only for my sanity. smile

I saw your explanation to Dottie about the Kettle.
I most say that's a heavy burden for such a small word to bare.

since the noose and moose metaphor is used at the end of the chorus anyway maybe the beginning of the chorus can be rewritten to sum up the point you made to Dottie and resolving back to the kettle and noose lines, at the end of the chorus.

Chorus
Take off the noose
Put on the kettle

Show the world
You’re a man of mettle
You’re gonna stop rollin’
Like a runaway caboose
Hey put on the kettle
Take off the noose

Hey, you can disregard that.
Just had to get it off my chest. smile smile smile

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Nelson, I'd hate to think I was driving you nuts. laugh

Perhaps I've misunderstood what you wrote, but in fact the chorus is already exactly what you've indicated. The kettle/noose lines are at the beginning as well as at the end, though the lines are switched around. Is this what you meant?

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
"
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
HiDee Mz Donna & Friend!

Like The Lyrics, Guitar & Vocs here...somehow it's a very pleasant & uplifting song...about some of the worst-possible stuff that has to be somehow dealt-with.

I'd sug "time-off" insteada "lie-down" (which reminds me of Nursery School Rest Period.)

Quite-Interesting (& rather Graphic) Hook ya gots there!

Good Luck with a nicely-Quirky One, M'LadyChum!
Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Stan

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Glad you like this one, Stan. wink Rob did a fine job.

And our Mike Caro has done a lovely job cleaning up the track, which had a lot of buzz and hiss on it. Thanks, Mike. smile

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 348
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 348
Definitely a grower. Just revisited this. Nice song. Good vocal delivery. Still like it.

JD


My Band Northfield
Our Videos
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 158
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 158
Very interesting. Unique title too !! I totally get the suicide inference. Thanks for sharing !!

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
OP Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670
Likes: 2
James and Darrell, thanks very much. Glad you both liked this. smile

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend





Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,718
Posts1,160,951
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5