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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
Top 40 Poster
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403 |
Like Stan says, real wet ink. Not sure if this is at a stopping point--it could go on and on and on and on--but I like to fit 'em into 3-1/2 to 5 minutes, and this might be enough. Hope it's not too disjointed.
Joe
[4/4, brightly and a little manic]
SELLING OFF BODY PARTS --J. Wrabek
1. My home is in foreclosure, they’re shutting off my lights, My teevee set’s been repossessed, and someone took my wife; I heard ‘em say on the news today we should all get by with less— So I’ll keep a couple parts of me, and retail off the rest.
CHORUS: I’m selling off my body parts so I can pay the bills; They tell me I can’t land a job and prob’ly never will; My ears and eyes are both real nice, and I’ve barely used my brain— Use my parts to help jump-start this country once again.
2. I’ll sell off one of my kidneys—the Good Lord gave me two— And I’ll get by without a heart—the bill collectors do; Both butt cheeks are real unique, my dimples are divine, And if anyone needs a helping hand—hey, check out one of mine!
CHORUS: I’m selling off my body parts so I can pay the bills; They tell me I can’t land a job and prob’ly never will; My ears and eyes are both real nice, and I’ve barely used my brain— Use my parts to help jump-start this country once again.
[GRATUITOUS INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]
3. When the I.R.S. wants their pound of flesh, I’ll send it right away, And when diesel costs an arm and a leg, I know just how I’ll pay; The President could use half a brain, I heard it on the news— I’d be pleased to sell him part of mine, if he’d put the thing to use.
CHORUS: I’m selling off my body parts so I can pay the bills; They tell me I can’t land a job and prob’ly never will; My ears and eyes are both real nice, and I’ve barely used my brain— Use my parts to help jump-start this country once again.
REPEAT LAST LINE OF CHORUS TO END
©2011 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case. No one was harmed in the writing of this song because nothing’s been amputated yet.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683 |
hahahahahah this is great....now let me see...what can I sell...
glyn
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 108
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 108 |
Joe, This is one of the most enjoyable songs I've ever read!
Awesome!
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526
Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526 |
As usual, ULTRA clever but I'd expect nothing less from you! "...barely used my brain" gave me a giggle!
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
Top 40 Poster
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OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403 |
Thanks, guys. Just had to get it out of my system. Next steps: record it, and try it out on a live audience (not necessarily in that order)--I'll have live audiences to experiment on Saturday and Sunday, I think. If it goes over well, might use it in the next Failed Economy Show.
Joe
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271 |
Joe this is superb. I really love it and it made me smile a real lot.
I have some parts that are only slighty used..lol
God Bless Roy and Helen
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28 |
Love it Joe...reminds me a bit of John Prine's classic, Please Don't Bury Me In The Cold Cold Ground...but better!
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
Top 40 Poster
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OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403 |
Thanks, guys. Considering the sad state of the economy (which does *not* appear to be getting better), this may strike a chord (ouch) with some people. We'll see how live audiences like it this weekend.
Joe
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
HIT CITY, BroJoe!!!!
Lemmie..as-usual..mess-wit-it a tad (Since ShayneMeister got me into Condensation Mode, ages-ago) herewegooo...
V1: "TV set's been reposseseed & Repo-Guy took my wife" "So I'll keep a couple parts of me & auction-off the rest"
CH: "Gonna sell my parts to help jump-start.."
V2: "I'll e-bay onea my kidneys..." "& if anyone needs a helping hand, hey try-on onea mine"
V3: "I'd be pleased to sell him part of mine if he'd just put it to use"
Tag: Yeah, RE-CYCLE my parts to help jump-start this country back-again!
KOS & Yee-HAWW you gotcha a GOOD'N' AMIGO! (Good Luck with it, It's BRILLIANT & Perfectly-Timed!) "KUDOS~!"
Best Wishes & a (Free) Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
Top 40 Poster
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OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403 |
Thanks, Stan. These are good. I bet I can use some of 'em. They've got better meter'n mine. Ain't recorded this puppy yet--might do the live audience test thing first (I won't have any free time until Sunday anyway).
Joe
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,888
Top 200 Poster
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Ha ha! Love it! I can sooo relate too. Cindy
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
hey Joe this so damn cool!Another one i wish i'd a penned.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
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OP
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403 |
Thanks, guys. They're performable, y'know. Feel free to have at 'em. Hey, I wonder how this one would come across as a music video?
Joe
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
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Posts: 3,427 |
Hey Joe, This is very cool! Quite unique too and that's always a good thing. I don't know what I expected from the title but it was entertaining through out! Dottie
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,639
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,639 |
Hello Joe. I like it and I think you should keeping spinning a few more ideas because some are very clever. Half the brain you don't use; getting by without a heart; the pound of flesh the IRS takes- all funny stuff. I think you should say that your teevee is possessed!
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
Top 40 Poster
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OP
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Posts: 6,403 |
Sam, I haven't watched TV in a while. For all I know, it *might* be possessed.
Joe
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