Who's Online Now
7 members (VNORTH2, couchgrouch, Fdemetrio, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier), 4,359 guests, and 258 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
#888672 03/29/11 04:00 AM
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Went ahead and did this LYRIC WITH MUSIC--COMMENTS WELCOME

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10454839


LIFE IN PRISON
© 2011 Mackie Humphries

INTRO
Two shots rang out they screamed out loud
Over their bodies I held the gun
Sirens attracted an angry crowd
It’s hard to believe what I’d done.

V1 [color:#CC0000].......EDIT#2--MIKE CARO

Why has love turned away from me
I Thought forever I’d be her man
That slick devil should’ve let her be
Now they both lay dead in the sand.

LIFT
The trial was short and it sweet
And it was over within a week--

BR
The verdict was read:
“Guilty..................
In the first-degree
May Lord have mercy
On his poor soul”.

V2
The Judge explained about the law
He said “if I wished to speak
Now is the time to stand ..tall
Or forever .... hold my peace.

CH
“Your Honor ..... my only regret
I don’t feel .... closure yet.”
The Judge said, “life in prison”
“Will soon help you forget”......

OUTRO.......EDIT#2--MIKE CARO
Why has love turned away from me
I Thought forever I’d be her man
That slick devil should’ve let her be
Now they both lay dead in the sand.

TAG
The Judge said, “life in prison”
“Will soon help you forget”
“Life in prison”.......”Life in prison”....
Will soon help you forget”
“Life in prison”.......”Life in prison”....
....help you forget...........................[/color].


Mackie

Last edited by Mackie H.; 03/29/11 05:19 PM.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Hey man that was pretty cool. I was digging the vibe, the music was very cool and I liked the lyrics...

The perfect voice would help this really come to life.
Also the only line you could have worded more vaguely was

"Why did she have to cheat on me"
It was the only line that didn't fit the whole picture.. It was like an old Country song line. I wanted more "Hey Joe" kinda lyrics..

But that was the only small thing!

COOL.... MAckie! smile


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
MIKE--

Thanks for listening and your feedback--means a lot--The movie I got the IDEA from was set in the Pacific Islands --Need a Somoian Vocal, EH.

Later,

Mackie

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 366
Like the music a lot Mackie - found the lyrics a little disturbing, but such is life!!

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 176
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 176
Mackie, good tune - this is something that I could see Johnny Cash doing back in the day.

Bob

Last edited by Robert Dean; 03/29/11 03:35 PM.
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Tracy--

An old movie is responsible for the LYRIC CONTENT--Probably based on an old PAPERBACK NOVEL.

Some things I write because of a key idea or lingering meaning--good or bad--I leave it to others to evaluate.

The MUSIC is an assembly from GARAGEBAND SAMPLES -- using my IMAC--It's not exactly what I had in mind--But until something else surfaces, it will have to do--Needs a Polynesian Eastern Island sound with VOCALS and an ACCENT.

I always appreciate your time and comments--

Mackie

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Robert--

I appreciate you taking time to listen and your comments--

Thanks for stopping by--

Mackie

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Post deleted by Mackie H.

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Mackie, You're at it again. Another movie/story/song. The Far East sounding music and the spooky vocals surprised me, but after a couple listens I started to get it.

I liked the lines where the judge laid down the law, especially when he reminded the cuckolded husband that life in prison would help him forget.

Keep 'em comin', Mackie!


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

https://dansullivan2.bandcamp.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dansullivan2
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Dan--

I appreciate you taking a listen--YOU are responsible for me digging in on this one, this quickly, EH--I am still learning and trying different things--I just PRETEND TO BE IN ALL THESE SONGS--I'm only in SOME OF THEM--IT'S A LOT OF FUN--TO MAKE-BELIEVE!

THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT--

Mackie

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Hello Mackie,

This has a good feel to it.
A job well done.


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
CALVIN--

YOU KNOW IT'S JUST IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW WHAT WILL INFLUENCE THE NEXT SONG--I NEVER SAW THIS ONE COMING, UNTIL IT WAS DONE--I GUESS IT'S THE MUSIC--MAYBE IT SHOULD BE AN INSTRUMENTAL--BUT, IF IT WERE JUST AN INSTRUMENTAL, THERE WOULDN'T BE A KILLING--IT PROBABLY NEEDS THE VOCAL, BUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE DOING IT--

I DO APPRECIATE YOUR TAKING A LISTEN AND YOUR FEEDBACK--

LATER,

Mackie

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171
Likes: 8
Mackie,

That is a different spin on a melody and I think if it had some dynamics and some bass in there, it would match a more somber vocal. Nice job on putting it together.

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
TAMMY--

I APPRECIATE YOU CHECKING THIS ONE AND YOUR KIND APPRAISAL--MY VOCAL HAS LIMITS--BUT I KEEP TRYING DIFFERENT THINGS I CAN DO--STILL LEARNING--

Thanks,

Mackie

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143
Likes: 6
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 4,143
Likes: 6
Hey Mackie....love this one....it would be a fun vocal piece for me......it's a story of love gone bad,and the repercussions,
your lyricsa and music make it seem so believable....great stuff here!~~~~MFB III

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
MFB--

Thanks for ZEROING IN ON THIS ONE--

GO AHEAD AND WORK YOUR MAGIC AND DO YOUR THING WITH IT--A CO-WRITE--IF YOU WANT TO--

--YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION

LATER,

Mackie

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Well, I enjoyed it very much, loved the music and the lyrics, great job...

glyn

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
"
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
HiDee T-Bro!

Overall, I like it...it's definitely unexpected Asian Sounds (When my ear's expecting more of a "High Noon" Vibe..considering the Plotline.) I didja a more "angry" re-write, lyrically, at Forum 3 in the wee-hours..use whatever works. (Methinks any guy who'd gun his wife down, for ANY reason, is basically a hothead & WOULDN'T be as-sorty-Contrite as Singer ends up here. In Reality, such a person's "Closure" would be when he ends the lives of the Cheaters, JMO.)

LIKE your Vocals...& Narrative Style...Works Wonderfully! Good Luck with this, Amigo..it's a Great Concept & Hook.

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 190
J
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
J
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 190
I liked the vocal a lot - it gave the whole thing a sort of sppoky feel. I found it more of a mood piece than a story song though - Stan's rewrite may be worth a look to make the character seem more believable since he didn't seem angry enough to regret it and just a little to melancholy for someone who would shoot his wife and the cheater.

I have no idea which movie you're referencing though, so if the current way fits better with the movie then that's probably the way to keep it.

Loved the creepy music in the background. It kinda had the feel of an old detective film/radio series/novel.

Just some thoughts - take or leave!

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
GLYNDA--

I appreciate my TX GIRL stopping by--HOPE YOU GET THROUGH THE HARD TIMES.

Don't really know why I penned this one, except I picked up the VIBE--- in that old B & W movie.

You just never know about this thing call--SONG WRITING--Some times the UNEXPECTED--Like our lives!

Thanks,

Mackie

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Stan the Man--

I appreciate you taking the time with this one--I'll have to study your SUGGS and see where I can improve, still trying to parallel the IDEA of that "B" MOVIE--There are a lot of people who never have CLOSURE in a true sense--It may linger their whole life, leading to alcohol, drugs and suicide--Do appreciate your comments and time--I'll make notes and see where it leads--

Always,

Mackie

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
John--


Do appreciate the feedback on this one--I always learn something I overlooked when writing--I will consider the suggestions--MOST OF MY LYRICS AND SONGS ARE STILL EVOLVING--

The D.C. and Maryland AREAS, are OK PLACES for growing in the MUSIC FIELD--
I was in ARLINGTON, VA for a year--ROCK, POP, FOLK and JAZZ were cooking back then--

Later,

Mackie

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Mackie, my man

This just blows me away.

The man in Black (J.C.) just rolled over, to see who the hell is that.

Great story and I loved your vocal delivery.

The music is undeniably perfect for this piece.

Some stunning work, Brother

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Nelson--

I appreciate you lending an ear to this one--I'm trying different things, hoping to find something that works--I appreciate your kind treatment and feedback--I'm always listening to you--

Thanks,

Mackie

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Hi Mackie. Good story here. I cant wait to hear this if it goes to full production.

I did think that the line ‘Now they both lay dead in the sand’ was maybe out of rhyme convenience. Sorry friend. Maybe if somewhere before a beach had been mentioned then ‘sand’ would have worked for me.

Anyway here is a suggestion, KOS.

V1
Why did she have to cheat on me
I’m her loving hard working man
That slick devil should’ve let her be
Now they both lay dead BY MY HAND.

I did think that maybe the end could have resolved where he done his time…and we find he was talking about past event. Would need a couple of small tweaks to work.

“Life in prison”.......”Life in prison”....
Never made me forget”
“Life in prison”.......”Life in prison”....
....NEVER made me forget............................

Anyway Mackie just me rambling

I do like it though

God Bless Roy and Helen


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Roy--

Always good to hear from you--Good suggestions offered--May try to use them when I do the FINAL--

Thanks for your interest and feedback--

Mackie

Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
R
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
R
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 690
mackie,

Nice job on this one! I kind of like the singing being more matter of fact instead of a mad crazy guy myself. Just seemed different. Very much like Johnny Cash to me. Loved the music and how it seemed to change with the song but with no particular pattern to speak of. (at least on first listen)

Very cool!

Ricky

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 9,003
Likes: 1
Ricky--

I appreciate you tuning this one in--I'll probably change it a little when I redo it--Well, I am laid back--had a lot of hard knocks, but I am mellowing some, as I age and gather a different perspective in this new DIGITAL CENTURY--Just trying to learn some of the new WAYS: MUSIC, PRODUCTION, and WRITING--

Thanks for your POSITIVE TAKE on this song--Still working on it.

Later,

Mackie


Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5