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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Joined: Aug 2010
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Hi @ all, I just finished the work on this country pop song... Music, arrangement, recording and mixing: me Lyrics by Bernd Harmsen and Marting Goetz Vocals: Riinka http://soundcloud.com/berndoettinger/king-of-the-rolling-stones/Hope you like it. King of the rolling stones his stuff stowed in a shopping cart his main asset an old guitar that's everything he'll ever need his staple diet some drinks at night his reading lamp a dim street light it isn't very much, indeed it takes good will - to call art the few folk tunes he sings by heart that suffice as his stage program his guitar's always out of tune no later than the clock shows noon he doesn't really give a damn he's the king of the rolling stones a man without a home he lives a free life full of peace but he will die all alone may god save this rolling stone a cardboard box to collect small change banknotes somehow would look strange although he wouldn't mind at all condescendence, sniggers, sneers good advice, though insincere - he takes it with a pinch of salt his working hours use to depend on how much money he's got to spend to pay for pub grub and a pint eventually he'll leave the town before routine would wear him down and soon will vanish from our mind he is the king of the rolling stones a man without a home he lives a life so free and peaceful but he will die all alone may god save this rolling stone
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,171 Likes: 8
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I think this is a good lyric. I don't think the music fits the lyric, it has a polka/country sound and the lyric seems more sad than that and I have in my head that a man should be singing this. That is just my opinion, I am only saying that this good lyric is a bit lost in the music to me. But the singer has a good voice and other than pronouncing "staple" differently, I don't feel she is emotionally attached to the words. The ending is also not what I expected either. I would love to hear this music and singer with a more upbeat lyric and hear this lyric with more emotional music.
Tammy
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,263
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I love your accent and the way you pronounce some words!
The lyrics are sad...poor homeless guy who hardly has much to eat. Yet your tune is a happy one! Prosody issues must be looked it!
Yet it's a delightful tune.
Stan
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4
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I think we are reading the lyric wrong. Sad? Yes, but the "singer" is happy the way things are. "He don't give a dam." Maybe too upbeat for the story here, but really love what you have done here. Thanks for sharing. Douglas
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Fabian, This is one hit me right over the head like a sledgehammer. Plain knocked me out. Great upbeat tune and music. It's a great hobo-busker storyline, not withstanding the lyrics could use a lot of revising. But even in a rough-hewn form some of them sparkle: "His main asset an old guitar"..."his reading lamp a dim street light"..."It takes goodwill to call art the few folk songs he sings by heart"...
The singer has got a great voice. Obviously English is not her first language. Some of her pronounciatians were of course off target. That said, she's got a child-like innocence to her voice. I like it.
Having said all that, the lyrics do need some work if you want to really make this one shine. I am not going to deconstruct the whole thing. But for starters I'd revise that chorus and get rid of the die alone bit.
And if you're gonna make this bum a King, I'd at least give him some kind of a crown and a throne.
Maybe:
He's the king, king, king of the rolling stones An old lawn chair serves as his throne A threadbare baseball cap Is the only crown he owns With an old guitar as a scepter He's the king of the rolling stones
Anyway, I think you have the framework here for a great song. I really like this tune.... Good luck.
Last edited by Dan Sullivan; 03/25/11 02:24 AM.
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 25
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Thank you all for your feedback. I was thinking about the contradiction between music and words, but I decided like Doug did...in his world he is happy. So I composed a happy tune. Dan! - that's why I like your revised chorus a lot. I think I'll try that...
And certainly you're right. The singer and me - we're from Germany.
Bernd
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