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This one's serious.
Unlike my last one.



Came with its melody - it does meter out.
Feedback welcome!

Linda




The Fight's Been Good

by Linda Adams (c) 2011 yada yada ya


I remember when you were a little boy of ten
Last thing you had was any confidence
Not before the day when you fell off that fence
Broke your back and your mama at once
She sent you to that home, and it tore you apart
Every day went by so slow
But that's when you started to grow


Oh it's been hard
Messed with your mind
You tell me you're fine
You won't look behind
You tell me it's true
The fight's been good for you


Your life's been a puzzle that's missing some pieces
You can't seem to find all the ones that you need
Or the thing that'll bring you the needed releases
Something to stitch you back up when you bleed
So you do it yourself, you don't fall apart
Every time you’re dealt a blow
You just pick up your needle and sew


Now, I know it’s hard
Hard to pull through
Eats up your time
Worries your mind
But you tell me it's true
The fight’s been good for you


And when my day's been long
I think of you
And I get along
Singing your song
You remind me
The fightin is good for me

So we fight the good fight
We'll finish the race
At the end of it all
We'll go home with grace

Cuz the fightin is good for me
The fightin is good for you



Edit: changed a line in red
EDIT2: Added final chorus & a tag

I love this write, because I can tell it's heartfelt (those are the best kind, IMO) but I don't know what to say about it. It doesn't seem quite a song yet, but getting there!

Thanks Polly!

Lemme know what's missing
Or where to stab at it...

I'm not seeing what to do for it further but I'm sure there's stuff to be done......


shrug

Linda

Concerned it's all "telling" not showing........ 2nd verse confusing or lame... etc...

Hey Linda...

I like the overall message here...

First impressions just as a listener:

1. Who is telling the story.

2. Is mama's heart broke or her resolve or inability to take care of the boy...financial problems maybe?

3. What is the home...a care center, foster home, orphanage, etc.

I'm just nosey...need to know why, why, why and what, what, what...lol.

You have the vox to bring the emotion in this to life.

Larry

good read, lotsa heart-felt emotions, i thought you described things very well, sometimes not telling specifics can be a good thing, leaves some to the imagination, allowing more people more space to relate to it.
well done...
peace.
roy

Added a final chorus & a tag ......... stronger? more "complete" story?

Linda



And when my day's been long
I think of you
And I get along
Singing your song
You remind me
The fightin is good for me

So we fight the good fight
We'll finish the race
At the end of it all
We'll go home with grace

Cuz the fightin is good for me
The fightin is good for you



Edit: changed a line in red
EDIT2: Added final chorus & a tag

Hey Linda..

Those additions did make a difference...will be fun when you get the music up for it.

(I'm trying to make one of those smiley face things appear...never really done it before... ...Whoaa... ...Somebody stop me...lol.

Larry

Whoa, Larry, WHOA slow down on the smileys, bud!! hahahhaaha
You're a riot!


Also thanks for the vote of confidence on my voice.



Linda

Also what do you all think of changing the title to something like,

"Jeremy's Song"

???

Linda

Hi Linda,

You have some really good lines in here! I like the current title better than Jeremy's Song. I LOVE this part!

Or the thing that'll bring you the needed releases
Something to stitch you back up when you bleed

Very nice!

Dottie

I like this one alot and I like your first title best..


glyn

OK, I'll keep the title as-is then

Dottie, thanks. I had some neg reviews on those lines/verses (before I wrote the 1st verse so, the story wasn't there then!) so, that's good to hear it's resonating all right now.

Thank you!


I'm also wondering about verb tense....

if I should use "fightin' is good" all the way through
or "fight's been good" is stronger.......

I haven't decided which is most effective.

Linda

Ab-soul-lute-ly beautiful song....so much feeling in it and raw reality exposed for families with such a condition to face. I was deeply moved. congrats on a great song Linda.~~~MFB III

HIdee Mz Lin'~

"..broke your back & your mama at once"? Maybe "..broke your back & mom'S BUDGET BOTH at-once" perhaps? So-far it's a Tough Line to Decipher. Maybe something about his Back & His Mom SNAPPED at once?

I somehow don't understand the Relationship between Singer & the Boy here. Yeah, she's an "Older Observer"..but in what capacity...Sister/Aunt/Truant Officer...etc?

&..I didn't feel the "Completion" as far as The Boy Goes....is he OUT yet?

Good Luck with it...it's got good potential..just a few rough edges!

Best Wishes, Big Hugs,
Stan

Thank you MFB!
I can tell you were deeply moved... as I rendered you speechless from making up a little verse about it

Thanks -
Linda

Stan, Hi!

I always appreciate your feedback and your take on things.

I like the word "snapped" -- that may be more accurate.

The story I see in my mind is that she just couldn't handle it, mentally, emotionally, she quit. I see her as an unstable person to begin with and this accident just broke her.

As far as is he "out" -- I see that he's a grown man now; where he lives is irrelevant......... the relationship to him (in my mind) aside from childhood friend, or close friend... is also somewhat irrelevant... in my mind.

Because all of us could learn, and be lifted, from knowing someone who has struggled, hard, and keeps on carrying on.

It'll be dedicated to anyone whose life has been touched by knowing someone like this, who's been lifted by the bright spirit shining inside the life challenged by crushing adversity.

The 2nd verse, chorus, to me mean finding ways to be inspired and carry on when there really ARE no solutions. Whatever the challenge is, it's not going away. When the problem isn't something you can just turn back time on, go back, solve, or fix. Something that's not just going to be "better" someday.

You can become stronger.
Keep an attitude that it all helps us learn, from each other.


That sort of thing.

Linda

I'm so happy Larry knows how to smile now..lol glyn

working with a guy on music for this one, he's got an "Achille's Last Stand" feel/flavor for it... we'll see if we ever get the collab done though... LOL

still in-progress...

I also realized my MELODY LINE on "I know it's hard" was ... near identical to Queen's newer single w/Paul Rodgers, "Say It's Not True" ... so that must change as well.

I really haven't done any new writing since about this point.
Been not well, but, so it goes

L

Linda,

and still you keep fighting on.... and it's a good fight, yes?

Write on. Fight on. Right on. Amen.

I like this one. I look forward to hearing it played.

Peace,

Dave