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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Jun 2006
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Hi guys, I did this co-write with Richard Blum (ritt) off-site. I wanted his hook. LOL So we re-did it. Heavy rock, Annie Lennox-meets-Alice in Chains sort of thing. I have a head tune but need a guitarist  Linda Oblivion by Linda Adams & Richard G Blum are you my natural disaster my personal mushroom cloud third rail of a locomotive fire burning in a crowd oh send me into oblivion kiss me and I come undone I collapse inside like it ain't even funny your love is so so good for me honey I wanna lose my mind baby would ya be so kind send me into oblivion your lovely willowy laughter sends a shock wave to my heart your love is so so so explosive shower me in burning sparks oh send me into oblivion kiss me and I come undone you destroy my mind like it ain't even funny your love is so so bad for me honey I wanna lose my mind baby would ya be so kind send me into oblivion baby don't be an illusion no hallucination, oh it seems I'm tripped out on your love love potion don't wake me from this dream [lead break over verse/bridge] oh send me into oblivion kiss me and I come undone I see pink mice chasing little blue bunnies your love is so so good for me honey I wanna lose my mind baby would ya be so kind send me into oblivion send me into oblivion send me into oblivion send me into oblivion send me into oblivion.... (Nirvana-style outro LOL) Linda and rittmo' Thoughts???
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li'l bump 
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Interesting Concept & Hook, & Always glad to see Rittman back here on Da Boards!
After shifting Mental Gears back-to-Grunge, I found the term "willowy" laughter to seem a bit out of place. "Sensuous" might work. Or go Whole-Hog & try "Your scathing sarcastic laughter"...
Might go a bit more Cobain & have the pink mice "killing" the blue bunnies...since this is, after-all, about Oblivion.
Overall, I like it/Good Luck with the finished work~
Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Stan
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Hi, GOOD WRITING...... baby don't be an illusion no hallucination, oh it seems I'm tripped out on your love love potion don't wake me from this dream LOVE to hear it someday. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: Jan 2011
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I'm with stan- kill the bunnies and the willowy thing sems out of place=
Now==where did I put that bong?
Tim
As Neil says: Keep On Rockin' in the Free World!
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Joined: Sep 2005
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Hi Linda,
Really cool lyric and concept. Looking at it from the 'commercial' point of view, my comment is with regard to the chorus. This is the part of the song that the listener will hopefully remember, and be able to repeat the second time (ie after the second verse) they hear it. In your song, the chorus lyric changes - 3 times - which may confuse listeners. Whilst we can say that an avid listener or fan will no doubt keep listening and be happy to learn the lyric so they can sing along next time, most listeners (even rock lovers) will lose interest pretty quickly if they feel 'duped' first time around. In my opinion (for whatever its worth) K.I.S.S. and repetition needs to apply to any song you want to hear on the radio - regardless of genre.
Just my thoughts. Good luck! :-)
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Hi Stan! Good thoughts! thank you! How 'bout "wicked willowy" or "low and sinewy" -- ? My original concept was to go more hallucinogenic which - chorus with the bunnies turned out to be first, then Ritt's verses wound up more explosive. Calvin, Working on it - so far I have just a v/c a capella test vocal which is a little scary to hear all by itself, LOL Thanks, glad you like this one!
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Tim, I'm so sad to hear you've lost your equipment LOL
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Hi Lisa!
Really great critique, thank you!
Originally it was the "bunnies" line all the way through, which I shifted thinking the song moves from explosions and disasters to hallucinations as it goes along............ I can just put the bunny line back in straight through...
It may work itself out when recorded. We'll see!!
Linda
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We could work out the verses to more loopy, trippy things than explosives?? thoughts?
L
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hmmmm. yup, i could see annie beltin' this out while alice rocks it out for her. very descriptive peice. kudos!
peace.
roy
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As Neil says: Keep On Rockin' in the Free World!
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