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#873685 - 01/25/11 03:51 AM "Rainbow Baby"  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
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Michelle Chapman  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Hi Everyone,
This is a lyric I started on awhile back but have never finished.I realize that many may feel that the subject matter is somewhat controversial(though not nearly as much as it would have been a few years back).Many people have different opinions on this subject and I respect that for whatever their reasons may be..I highly doubt that it would do very well in the country market,as I havent heard any country songs on the subject.I started out trying to write something about racism as this is an issue I have myself been encountering alot here lately.my grandson is bi-racial,and I am very proud of him...he is so beautiful..Because of some things that have happened and some recent remarks,I started thinking about my grandsons life and the type of people he may encounter..That started me thinking on the subject of homosexuality for some reason..I started wondering how I might feel as a parent if I were to find out that one of my children(or my grandchild)was gay,and then I started thinking about the many parents who have had to come to terms with that very fact.Some of these children are bullied and tortured(some even to death)....Regardless of how anyone feels on the subject,thats very sad,and sooo wrong...I'm thinking of an Elton John type song(for some reasons that are obvious...lol).so please let me know what I can do to make this lyric better...thanks!!!


"Rainbow Baby" (c)2011 Michelle OTT Chapman

(v) Rainbow Baby,angel child
like a field of flowers,growing wild

where did you come from
are you just a dream
your love has no boundries
but your not what you seem

you wear your heart on the outside
and the whole world can see
yet they mock you and hate you
they wont let you love free

(c)oh beautiful child
They say you dont belong,
That you dont belong here
what they dont understand
instead they fear
Rainbow baby, rainbow baby
in this dark world you roam
Rainbow baby,Rainbow Baby
so far from home

(v)are you sent here to teach
from somewhere above
they taunt and they preach
about acceptance and love

they cant seem to see
whats right in front of their face
Sweet rainbow Baby
So out of place

(c)oh beautiful child
They say you dont belong,
That you dont belong here
what they dont understand
instead they fear
Rainbow baby, rainbow baby
in this dark world you roam
Rainbow baby,Rainbow Baby
so far from home

(bridge)
They pray for your soul
They say God has spoken
But God will not heal
What is not broken

(c)oh beautiful child
they say you dont belong,
That you dont belong here
what they dont understand
instead they fear
Rainbow baby, rainbow baby
in this dark world you roam
Rainbow baby,Rainbow Baby
so far from home

(tag)Stay with us Rainbow Baby
please dont go away
color our lives with your love
cause our world is so gray

rainbow baby,please stay


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#873737 - 01/25/11 12:29 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,222
Lynman Bacolor Offline
Lynman Bacolor  Offline

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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,222
Caloocan, Philippines
Michelle

Wow!!! YOur lyrics concept is great... My sugs... What if this lyrics will changed to first person point of view?

God Bless

Lynman

#873743 - 01/25/11 01:00 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Lynman Bacolor]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,404
in2piano Offline
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in2piano  Offline
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Oregon, USA
Hey Michelle...

Nice write.
Really like your bridge.

Good to see ya back.

Larry


Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
#873846 - 01/25/11 07:43 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: in2piano]  
Joined: Jul 2010
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Dottie Offline
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Dottie  Offline
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Posts: 3,427
Hi Michelle,

I like your lyric but one thing I thought might be worth pointing out is this;

they cant seem to see
whats right in front of their face
Sweet rainbow Baby ---I would save this to only be in the chorus
So out of place

Nice write smile

Dottie


#873960 - 01/26/11 03:05 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Dottie]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Hi Lynman,
You are always so kind to me..I really appreciate the encouragement..Hopefully we will work on one together again sometime soon,when you have time of course....Thanks for the suggestion and I will definitely keep it in mind..
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#873961 - 01/26/11 03:05 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Thanks Larry!!!You are very kind as well...Always have been smile


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#873963 - 01/26/11 03:07 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Dottie,
Thanks for taking the time to look over this...and yes,I think you are right!!!Thanks!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#874010 - 01/26/11 09:54 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,092
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Eugene, Or USA
Glad to see you posting girl!

What an emotional one, nice!

Suggestions (keep or toss) for chorus:


Oh beautiful child
YOU'LL NEED TO BE STRONG
SO MANY GUILTED CHILDREN
ARE TOLD THEY DON'T BELONG
BY THOSE AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN
Rainbow baby rainbow baby
THOUGH YOU ROAM IN THE DARK
PLEASE rainbow baby
DON'T ROAM TOO FAR












#874043 - 01/26/11 01:04 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: nightengale]  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,613
glynda Offline
glynda  Offline

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Posts: 8,613
Princeton Texas
I love it and i'm too happy to see you back, welcome home lady..great stuff, some wonderful lines...you did a great job, can hear the emotion even in your words..glyn

#874051 - 01/26/11 02:09 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: glynda]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Tampa, Florida since 1973
HiDee Mz Michelle..I'm Baack..(& in-essence, "cured"..my next Shrink App't's 3-Months-from-Now~)

Wife & I've lived/loved through This Occurrence, too...& Our "Rainbow" is one of the Smartest, Best-Adapted Kids you'll ever-see. As parents, we do live in fear that some Religious Zealot might Play God & take him &/or his Partner out. But..they themselves don't act like Fear is an option/they don't look..or act.."Gay"..in-public..so we have less to worry-about..BUT..there's always that Psycho Element we have to be afraid-of.

No major nits here..Good Sentiment throughout! (Ya got a minor "fix" on that "But you'RE not what you seem" line..)

Good Luck with a Good Write, M'LadyChum!
Best Wishes, Big Hugs, & a Wee Forehead-Smooch, too,
Stan & La Femme

#874070 - 01/26/11 03:20 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: "Tampa Stan" Good (D)]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,519
beechnut79 Online content
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beechnut79  Online Content
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Posts: 3,519
Villa Park IL
This one would be great with one who has done controversial songs in the past, such as Janis Ian did with "Society's Child". This piece could easily be the gay equivalent of that landmark piece. Some folk-style singer-songwriter who also does other people's work would be perfect for this. Msic has always had a way of challenging outdated stodgy viewpoints going back to some of the early labor songs backing unions. And this would just take it to another level.

Peace,
Brian

#874203 - 01/27/11 02:09 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: beechnut79]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Geneva,
Thank you for the suggestions and I will certainly take them into consideration...Thanks for reading ...
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#874204 - 01/27/11 02:20 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Glynda,
Thank you...Its really good to be back...My friends here encourage me and inspire me...it really is like coming "home" again...I am trying to work on a melody for this and hoping to find someone to work with me on the music...Thanks for taking time to look over this as I see that you have been having some health problems and that you are in the hospital...Praying that you get well soon Glynda.......Love,Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#874377 - 01/27/11 06:54 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Stan,
So glad to hear that you have been "cured".Thanks for reading over this for me...I have a bad habit of not proof reading my lyrics before posting them..I get so excited when I get what I think is a good idea, and want to get the opinions of others as soon as possible,so I fail to notice the mistakes that i make like YOUR and YOU"RE,but thanks for pointing that out..I need to pay more attention to things like that...It is so sad what we as parents have to sit and watch our children go through..Several days ago my daughter had a friend come over to spend the night.I didnt know the parents of the young teen who was visiting,but when I went to pick up their daughter,they seemed like very nice people.A few hours later,the mother of the young girl comes banging on my door and walks in demanding that her daughter get her things together so that she can take her home..I soon found out her reason..She was very upset that her daughter was in the same house with "a black boy"..(my son had a friend over visiting also).She made it clear that this was her reason for not wanting her daughter at my home.I was completely and utterly speechless..(thinking back now there is so much that I wish that I would have said).I know that there are many racist people in this world,but I had never witnessed anything like this firsthand.I have a 6 month old bi-racial grandson,so I really took it to heart,as did my children..They just can not understand people like this and they shouldnt have to..thoughts about this situation got me to thinking about some of the things that me and my children may have to face in this life..as far as I know,none of my children are gay,but if they were,I wouldnt love them any less..there is a very good Lifetime movie that I watched several days ago about the subject..it is called "Prayers For Bobby"..that movie was a real eye-opener for me...take care Stan


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#874390 - 01/27/11 07:50 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,844
Mackie H. Offline
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Mackie H.  Offline
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Posts: 8,844
NASHVILLE, TN
Michelle--

This would be a tough topic for me to WRITE--You have done a great job with the material, I would guess TRUTH AND FEELINGS FROM THE HEART, have a way of triggering the best approach to lay out the STORY--I grew up in an ORPHANAGE, and struggled with all kinds of hidden emotions, that took many
YEARS to get OVER. I LOVE IT!

WRITE ON GIRL.

Mackie

#874394 - 01/27/11 08:03 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: Nov 2010
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Vicarn Online content
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Vicarn  Online Content
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UK
Good piece of writing Michelle, and the bridge is great.
Vic


It's never too late? Yes it is, so do it now.

If, given time, a monkey can write the complete works of Shakespeare maybe there's hope for me.

http://store.cdbaby.com/cd/vicarnold2

http://www.soundclick.com/vicarnold

http://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold

#874531 - 01/28/11 03:37 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Vicarn]  
Joined: Apr 2009
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Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2009
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Martinsburg,WV
Brian,
Thanks for taking a peek at this...I appreciate your comments very much!!Thank you........Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#874617 - 01/28/11 01:54 PM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Jun 2010
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robert wynn Offline
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robert wynn  Offline
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missouri
I don't get it, but it's cute, good write!


Thanks for stopping by
#874801 - 01/29/11 04:12 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: robert wynn]  
Joined: Feb 2006
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John Hoffman Offline
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John Hoffman  Offline
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St. Peters, Mo.
Michelle,
so much "they" sounds preachy. If the audience feels like they are being accused of something they will tune out. A third person story or character portrait may be more effective concerning anything controversial.

John


Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
#874970 - 01/30/11 02:17 AM Re: "Rainbow Baby" [Re: John Hoffman]  
Joined: Apr 2009
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Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
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Martinsburg,WV
Mackie,
Thanks for the kind remarks!!I realize that this is a touchy subject for some and for many different reason,so I truly understand why it may not be some peoples "cup of tea".Thanks for taking the time to look it over anyway..
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue



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