|
12 members (Fdemetrio, Bill Draper, Gary E. Andrews, Guy E. Trepanier, JAPOV, couchgrouch, ckiphen, Gavin Sinclair, 2 invisible),
1,222
guests, and
761
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Jesus is my GP
Mike Parrish
Verse 1
Sin is all around me
IT gets harder to resist
The older that I get
The thicker is the mist
But there's someone to guide me
A lighthouse in the fog
Jesus is my GPS
I'm led by the son of god
Chorus
Jesus is my GPS
He's my map in times of stress
Every wrong road I go down
He gently says to turn around
Till the path is up and straight
And I'm positioned at the gate
Heaven is my next address
Cause jesus is my GPS
Verse 2
But my journey isn't over
I keep heading toward the cross
Knowing that the devil's there
If ever I get lost
Repeat chorus
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578 |
That's pretty good IMO Mike
You might try to finish out V 2 with 4 more lines. Maybe more about the Devil for contrast---maybe something like
Yeah, the devils always waiting
To lead my steps astray
etc
Wy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Yeah the devil's always waiting
To lead my steps astray
With jesus as my gps
I will find the righteous way
Thanks wy - you know I still never got the old homestead. I have a perfect place for the video - I think in black and white - but probably won't ever get around to it. My email is
Myparrish@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578 |
Gosh Mike. I don't know why you didn't get it and if I can find it.I lost some stuff in a couple crashes. I expect it's in hard copy but "That'd be an undertaking. I remmember the lyric all right. Is that what we're talking about or did we have it demod?
It's been a while <G>
Wy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Seems like you had a rough demo - like it was going to be $50 to $100 for me but I can't remember either - it's no big deal - unless for find it and it gets release by a major artist and we get rich - at that point - I'll remind you that we could have been rich months ago - but I'm guessing that won't happen so we're OK - I would have to find the lyric to know how it went -have a nice Christmas
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Top 30 Poster
|
|
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578 |
That sounds about right Mike. I believe there might be a demo.
If there is, I'd have a better chance of finding it, as long as there's a hard copy and wasn't just on the puter.
I'll have a look and let you know--That would have probably been Phillip Clarkson on a demo.
Merry Christmas to you too
Wy
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Thanks Wy - I'll do the video one year
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427 |
Hi Mike,
This is very good writing and I love the message:)
I like the 4 lines you added to finish the 2nd verse, are you going to add them to the lyric?
Dottie
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Thanks - dottie - yeah - I am going to add the last 4 lines - I had 4 more line but left them out when I posted but wy's 2 lines closed it better then mine. My wife has been a youth director for 30 years and she said I never write christian songs so I thought I'd whip her up a God song - haven't showed it to her yet though.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
|
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067 |
Hi Mike, I'd condense/replace some words to give the lyric greater impact, keep or sweep  Jesus is my GP Mike Parrish Verse 1 Sin is all around me IT gets harder to resist Seems The older that I get The thicker is the mist But there's someone to guide s me A lighthouse in the fog Jesus is my GPS I'm led by the son of god Chorus Jesus is my GPS He's my map in times of stress Every wrong road I go down He gently says to turn around Till the path is up and straight And I'm positioned at the gate Heaven is my next address Cause jesus is my GPS Verse 2 But my journey isn't over I keep heading toward the cross Knowing Aware that the devil's there If ever I get lost (I'd add 4 more lines here before another Chorus)Repeat chorus [s][/s]
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Thanks shayne - I did add 4 more line and I like your editing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096 |
Py,
Great message and I love the way you put it across.
Geneva
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,670 Likes: 2 |
Good editing suggestions from Shayne. Just a couple more.  But my journey isn't over I keep heading As I head toward the cross Knowing that I know the devil's out there If ever I It's easy to get lost Then finish off with 4 more lines. I hope the thoughts are useful. Donna
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Thanks donna - when I put all this together it should be good
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710 |
PY, Are you locked into the GPS metaphor? That seems to be the hook. I'm just having trouble with a Global Positioning Satellite being the metaphor for Jesus. It's so worldly.
It would sound better to me if you sang "I don't need a GPS/ I'm led by the Son of God."
In the chorus Jesus could be your Savior, Guide, etc. and the reason you don't need a GPS. You can find your way to Heaven by following Jesus. You don't need a GPS.
Anyway, this is a good effort. Keep up the good work.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449
Top 500 Poster
|
|
OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 449 |
Yeah I am lock in on the GPS coordinates so to speak. I don't think it will be an issue - I think its a good hook - but when I get to the pearly gates Jesus may be standing with my folder saying -" so you thought this was cute" - then I might be in trouble
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Top 100 Poster
|
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710 |
Py, I suspect the Good Lord will understand.
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,752
Posts1,161,269
Members21,470
| |
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|
