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#857925 - 11/16/10 08:59 AM Sold as seen  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Gary_UK Offline
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Gary_UK  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
England, UK
Light hearted country, tongue in cheek. The second part of each verse picks up the tempo.

"Sold as seen"

I got a call the other day from the guy who bought my house,
Shouting and (a) screaming 'cause I didn't tell him about
why I had to sell so fast
and had to move on out,
and one or two small issues that I shoulda' warned about.

He said the roof leaked in the rain,
and those draughty window panes
whistle Dixie in the wind,
It's drivin' him insane.
He just couldn't live like that...
he just wants his money back...
screaming at me down the phone
In his damp house all alone.

So I said 'come on man, it was sold as seen'
It's the finest house there's ever been,
And as for whistlin' dixie in the wind,
maybe you should join right in.
Read the small print when you sign
your name upon that dotted line,
Dot your 'i's and cross your 'T's
or the deal will be sold as seen......

Got a call the other day from the guy who bought my truck,
changed his mind, asked me for a refund if he could.
Said it had a funny smell behind the seats inside,
(probably the spot where my old hound dog chose to die!!)

He said it backfired everytime
he crossed the local county line,
and he swore to God, that whining noise
sounds like the damned thing's cryin'
He just couldn't drive like that,
he just wants his money back
pleading at me all the time
while stranded on that county line.

So I said 'Easy man, it was sold as seen'
Trucks like that are far between.
That smell won't be there for much longer
(well, not until it's gotten stronger...)
Read the small print when you sign
your name upon that dotted line,
Dot your 'i's and cross your 'T's
or the deal will be sold as seen......

I might have driven a hard bargain
but I knew I had to find,
a way to keep my baby sweet
when I asked her to be mine...

Finished work the other day, stopped off for a Bud'
before going home to find out what my baby'd cooked me up.
I found her sitting on the couch, with thunder on her face...
with her coat on, ready to walk out with overnight suitcase.

She said it's not right that you're not here
'cause you're somewhere drinking beer
I'm tellin' you it's gonna stop
so don't you shed a tear.....
This bad habit stops today
from now you're going to behave,
Be my husband if you want to stay
I'll be your wife but not your slave...

Then she said 'this girl, was sold as seen'
with no surprises inbetween.
You can pull your weight like me
divorces, they don't come for free.
should have read the small print when you signed
your name upon that dotted line,
dot your 'I's and cross your 'T's
'cause this deal has been sold as seen.

copyright Gary Parr 2010 all rights reserved

#858039 - 11/16/10 06:20 PM Re: Sold as seen [Re: Gary_UK]  
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,473
RogerS Offline
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RogerS  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,473
Dearborn, Mi
Hi Gary,

Pretty cool song. The only thing for me is the bridge. Can't put my finger on it but it kinda doesn't flow as smoothly storywise with the rest of the song. I love everything else. I think what's throwing me is in the bridge you say--but I knew I had to find,
a way to keep my baby sweet
when I asked her to be mine... but then v3 goes into how she' s mad at him for drinking,etc. That just seems kinda contradictory to me is all. You might be able to leave it out completely and still have the song work. Just thinkin out loud. It definitely is a good one I think. take care,

Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
#858128 - 11/17/10 01:29 AM Re: Sold as seen [Re: RogerS]  
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 678
Lee Arten Offline
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Lee Arten  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 678
Is "sold as seen" British idiom?
Here the phrase usually is, "sold as is."

"No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money." Johnson.
#858596 - 11/19/10 12:40 AM Re: Sold as seen [Re: Lee Arten]  
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,473
RogerS Offline
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RogerS  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,473
Dearborn, Mi

One other thought--maybe make the bridge as an outro--Kinda like now that she runs such a hard bargain, ya gotta change your ways maybe somethin like:

MAn she sure drives a hard bargain
And I know i have to find
A way to keep my baby sweet
A way to keep her mine

Just an idea. KOS. take care,

Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
#858632 - 11/19/10 02:36 AM Re: Sold as seen [Re: Gary_UK]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,944
Mackie H. Offline
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Mackie H.  Offline
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,944

Nothing wrong with a BRITISH SONG--'as seen' parallelism 'PINT'--You don't know a Gary there that plays a leather WAYLON TELE do YOU? I met him several years ago, He came over to pick up his CUSTOM 'TELE'--He's not too far from LONDON.

Anyway an interesting Story you have working here.

Write on--


#862845 - 12/07/10 06:57 PM Re: Sold as seen [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Gary_UK Offline
Serious Contributor
Gary_UK  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
England, UK
Roger, thanks for your points, they are totally valid.

Lee, oh yes...just one of many English idioms wink

Mackie...don't know any Tele playing Garys....Im about 5 or 6 hours from London!!

thanks all

#862971 - 12/08/10 07:27 AM Re: Sold as seen [Re: Gary_UK]  
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
nightengale Offline
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nightengale  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
Eugene, Or USA
Hi Gary,

I really like where you went with this song.

You did a great job with it.

I think you can afford to lose a few "filler words" but other than that.....


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