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#855485 - 11/05/10 09:16 AM Just the Lord  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Gary_UK Offline
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Gary_UK  Offline
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"Just the Lord"

V1
If you can find the bleakest forest
whose heart has never found the sun,
A place where I can go
to be away from everyone,
In the valley of the shadows
beneath the tallest darkest tree,
I'll be untangling my life
just the Lord and me.

V2
If you can find the deepest ocean
beneath the blackest thunderhead,
beyond the harbours sanctuary
is the place where I am lead.
Searching for the answers
that I'm struggling to see,
I drift towards the tempest
with just the Lord for company.

bridge/lift
When the night is black enough to strike
fear into your soul,
I'll walk beside still waters
knowing I will never fall.
No matter how dark the place
you find yourself to be,
harm will never touch you
with the Lord for company.

V3
If you can find the longest winding road
beneath a sky the colour of pain,
leaning hard into the wind
bullied by the rain.
My journey holds no promises
and leads me to my destiny,
through today into tomorrow,
with just the Lord for company.


copyright Gary Parr 2010 all rights reserved.


Last edited by Gary_UK; 11/12/10 02:08 PM.
#855608 - 11/05/10 06:29 PM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Gary_UK]  
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Roderic Offline
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Gary,
Very nice. Easy flow to the wording. Pulls the reader in. But where is the Chorus? Is the bridge taking place of the Chorus?
Would really like to hear this set to music. Keep at it. Good job!

Rod


Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
#855616 - 11/05/10 07:07 PM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Roderic]  
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you have a great thought there.
if you wanted a chorus it might be ab invitation to others to come and walk with the Lord and find what peace you've found.
be glad to help with the music if you want.
good work Wyndham

#855630 - 11/05/10 09:30 PM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Gary_UK]  
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R. Shayne Vaughan Offline
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R. Shayne Vaughan  Offline
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Good one, Gary. One line may need tweaking to fit the respective verses' meter:

beyond the sanctuary of the harbour
would fit better as:
beyond the harbour's sanctuary

Keep or sweep smile


“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!


#855632 - 11/05/10 10:33 PM Re: Just the Lord [Re: R. Shayne Vaughan]  
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Dottie Offline
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Hey Gary,

I love this! It's beautiful! What a great message too:)

Dottie

#855696 - 11/06/10 07:54 AM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Roderic]  
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Gary_UK Offline
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Hi Rod.....Thanks for your words.

I didn't want to write something in my usual vein....V1 c V2 c B c etc. Its a slow mellow simple lyric, it is what it is and bridge was just to lift it, change tempo maybe before the final verse.
I like to differe every now and then!!
Regards
Gary

#855697 - 11/06/10 07:58 AM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Wyndham]  
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Hi Wyndham...
I wrote the lyric around how it made me feel, how I wanted others to feel, and not around any melody.
I didn't write a chorus because I didn't want to over commercialize it - you know?
By all means my friend, if you have any ideas regarding music I would love to hear them!!
Regards
Gary

#855699 - 11/06/10 07:59 AM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Dottie]  
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Hey Dottie

as always, you're just too kind

smile

#856153 - 11/08/10 09:50 AM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Gary_UK]  
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ColmT Offline
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Gary

I'm about to do something that I shouldn't, which is to suggest a change to such beautiful work. I do so because as I read it for whatever reason I was drawn to change the last line. I know - I hate it when people do that as much as you!

Your lyric reads:

"I'll be untangling my life
with just the Lord for company".

"I'll be untangling my life
Just the Lord and me!"

It's only a suggestion I thought of as it seemed to help the flow and 'the Lord and me!" seemed a more personal phrase than the word 'oompany'. Hope you don't mind the suggestion.

Any Gary - as I said - it's a beautiful read and wonderfully structured.

Very very well done - can't wait to hear it!

ColmT


#856183 - 11/08/10 01:26 PM Re: Just the Lord [Re: ColmT]  
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Roy Cooper Offline
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Hi Gary

I concur with most of the above.

I great set of lyrics. beuitful

God Bless Roy and Helen


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

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#857041 - 11/12/10 11:58 AM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Roy Cooper]  
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Gary_UK Offline
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England, UK
Thanks everyone, great response to this.
Colm, no you are right. I think the change to the last line suits it well with not having a chorus, thanks for that!
In light of the enthusiasm for this lyric, I will try to give it some time and figure a melody out....thanks all again.
Gary

#857177 - 11/12/10 09:18 PM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Gary_UK]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 8,845
Mackie H. Online content
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NASHVILLE, TN
UK GARY--

JMHO--MY TAKE ON THIS ONE (CAPS) USE OR LOSE

THE LORD AND ME

V1
I HAVE FOUND the bleakest forest
THIS PRIVATE PLACE HIDES FROM the sun,
A place where I can go
AND be away from everyone,
In the valley of the shadows
beneath the tallest tree,
I CAN UNTANGLE my life
just the Lord and me.

V2
I HAVE BEEN ON the deepest ocean
UNDER the blackest thunderhead,
FAR FROM THE harbours OF sanctuary
IN DARK WATERS WHERE WAVES CREST.
Searching for the answers
that I'm struggling to see,
THEN driftING RIGHT TO THE EDGE
just the Lord AND ME.

bridge/lift
When the night is black enough
TO STRIKE fear into your soul,
I'll walk beside still waters
knowing I will never fall.
No matter how dark the place
I find MYself to be,
harm will never EXIST
LONG AS HE’S WITH ME.

V3
I WALK the longest winding road
beneath a sky colourED WITH pain,
leaning hard into the wind
AND PUSHED BACK by the rain.
My journey holds no promises
BUT leads me to my destiny,
through today into tomorrow,
just the Lord AND ME.


copyright Gary Parr 2010 all rights reserved.


Mackie

Last edited by Mackie H.; 11/12/10 11:46 PM.
#857193 - 11/12/10 10:44 PM Re: Just the Lord [Re: Mackie H.]  
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,462
RogerS Offline
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RogerS  Offline
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Posts: 1,462
Dearborn, Mi
Hi GAry,

Wow--what a message. I'm a bit late to this one so most of the sug's are already covered--small as they are. I didn't even miss the chorus not being there as I read thru it--but the only thing I'm thinking is it might be on the short side. Music and tempo would dictate that of course. You have a real nice write with a great message here. Wish moe people in the world felt that way. take care,
Roger


Roger Sosnowski
The happiest people in life are those involved in music
#857922 - 11/16/10 07:52 AM Re: Just the Lord [Re: RogerS]  
Joined: Nov 2010
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Gary_UK Offline
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Gary_UK  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
England, UK
More food for thought.
MACKIE....great changes, Im not sure about all of them but thats more to do with what I was thinking. The original version suggests that I'm still in that 'dark place'.....your version suggests that I've been to that dark place and now its behind me - maybe different people will take away something different from the song??

ROGER.....Many thanks for your comments. The way I see it, lyrics always change on the way to being a song and this gives a little room for manouvre during that process. I like to give some freedom to interpretation along the way - I'm always intruiged how other people see things differently.

Regards
Gary


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