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#854958 - 11/03/10 08:50 AM Daddy's crying  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Gary_UK Offline
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Gary_UK  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
England, UK
Hi all....

This is a demo of a song that was written by Dottie. I only have a very basic set up at home and it shows! Im no singer and I'm still learning how to record so this is another step on a long road.
All comments welcome smile

http://talentscorner.net/audio/160/daddys-crying



Lyrics by Dottie Corley
Music and vocals by Gary Parr


She's bought a dress, new pair of shoes
Daddy knows what he's supposed to do
She made a list of who gets what
but Mama, doesn't have a lot.

Mama's sick, Daddys crying
In his heart, he knows she's dying
There is nothing, he can do
I know, oh I know its true

CHORUS
Ask.....heaven to wait
Mama, please dont go away today
I know you're tired and your work is done
But Daddys crying, we can't come
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay


She chose Papas church, to buy her plot
thats where she goes, she doesnt go a lot
Her friend Jean, will fix her hair
And I know what, she wants to wear.

Sister Sarah, can't stop crying
Hold me Daddy, I know you're trying
There is nothing, left to do
I wish, oh I wish it wasn't true


CHORUS
Ask.....heaven to wait
Mama, please dont go away today
I know you're tired and your work is done
But Daddys crying, we can't come
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay

BRIDGE
Daddy knows it wont be long
Mama wont be going home,
Mama's sick and Daddys crying
Deep inside I know he's dying...



CHORUS
Ask.....heaven to wait
Mama, please dont go away today
I know you're tired and your work is done
But Daddys crying, we can't come
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay
Im begging you to stay

#854960 - 11/03/10 08:58 AM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Gary_UK]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Crozet, VA
Quote
I only have a very basic set up at home and it shows!
I don't know know, it sounds like a pretty well done, full demo for a home setup. Sounds good to me.

The topic is a trifle morbid for me, but it seems well put together.

From a tech standpoint, I would cut that first 5 or 6 seconds out of the recording. It is just a background hiss and a click.

Again, welcome to the JPF.

Kevin

Edit: Is it really about 7 minutes long? Yowzer, cut about 3 minutes out of that.

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 11/03/10 09:01 AM.

"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#854961 - 11/03/10 09:01 AM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Gary_UK Offline
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Gary_UK  Offline
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Posts: 54
England, UK
Thanks kevin,

I'm on a tight budget at the moment so I'm doing all my editing/mixing on Audacity.

#854962 - 11/03/10 09:03 AM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
glynda Offline
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glynda  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Princeton Texas
Dottie and Gary..

I can see what you're doing and I love it...very happy you came to JPF's...thanks for sharing this with us....way to go ...again welcome...

glyn


#854970 - 11/03/10 09:21 AM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Gary_UK]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Crozet, VA
Originally Posted by Gary_UK
Thanks kevin,
I'm on a tight budget at the moment so I'm doing all my editing/mixing on Audacity.


When I want to cut out the count in or beginning hiss on a recording, I actually use audacity to do that.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#855015 - 11/03/10 12:40 PM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,130
TamsNumber4 Offline
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TamsNumber4  Offline
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,130
New Hampshire
Dottie and Gary,

I KNOW THIS LYRIC DOTTIE!! A good one, but very sad.

It is long, I would definetly cut out the second sing of the bridge. I think adjusting the melody on the second and forth verses by kicking it up a bit would keep the flow going and add interest.

I thought your vocal was very nice and really liked the chorus and melody.

Tammy


http://tammyjann.com/
https://soundcloud.com/tamsnumber4
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1038504

Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it...
Professor Albus Dumbledore




#855021 - 11/03/10 01:04 PM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: TamsNumber4]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Dottie Offline
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Dottie  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Hi Gary,

It's about time you came to the BEST SONGWRITING BOARD I KNOW OF!!

Thank you Gary, my mother just got out of the hospital again...She's in very bad shape and as you know my father just had a kidney removed that had cancer in it. It's very sad to see the strongest people in your life so week and fragile.

I thank you again for doing this for me. smile

PS Now go post, Oh Jeez!! The original!! lol

Dottie

Last edited by Dottie; 11/03/10 01:05 PM.
#855145 - 11/03/10 11:55 PM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Dottie]  
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 691
Ott Lukk (D) Offline
Serious Contributor
Ott Lukk (D)  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 691
Minneapolis
Gary: You sing well. Have to say I found the song a bit depressing, though. Ott

#857923 - 11/16/10 08:54 AM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Ott Lukk (D)]  
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
Gary_UK Offline
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Gary_UK  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 54
England, UK
Thanks everyone..

Ott....at least you found something though!!! it's always better than nothing!!

Gary

#858012 - 11/16/10 03:54 PM Re: Daddy's crying [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 79
Strat1958 Offline
Serious Contributor
Strat1958  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 79
Left coast of Canada
Originally Posted by Kevin Emmrich
Originally Posted by Gary_UK
Thanks kevin,
I'm on a tight budget at the moment so I'm doing all my editing/mixing on Audacity.


When I want to cut out the count in or beginning hiss on a recording, I actually use audacity to do that.

Kevin
Same here - all my songs have a count-in, and I use Audacity to chop that out, on every one of my songs. It takes 2 seconds: Select > Delete > Save > Ta-Da!!

-Mike


Listen to my newest song... "Did Anyone Ever Write A Song For You?" on Soundclick

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