Who's Online Now
10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill), 4,088 guests, and 270 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
She’s missing but she ain’t missing him
by ckiphen - 03/23/24 08:44 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, JPFers...Here's a worktape of a song I'm having some fun with trying to learn how to do a decent mix in my little studio. The fabulous Heather Cowles did the lead and harmony vox. Would love to hear what (if anything) works and doesn't work for you in this one.

Cheers,
Scott

Hmm...Version 2 is different. A capella intro is gone...was gone but is now back in (Mr. Nelson was on to something, I think : ), tempo is up a tick, bassline is different, etc. Is different good or bad, better or worse, or just different?

Version 2 is up: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1084338&songID=9562748

Version 1 (the before): http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1084338&songID=9540576

Give a Whole Lot

I dusted off our high school yearbook packin my things today
For a man who don't talk anymore you had a whole lot to say
Bubble letters swore you'd always love me - no matter what
Underlines and big heart signs, ifs ands or buts

You even wrote a giant 'Don't Ever Change!!!' on the last page in red
Took me years, a lot of tears, to see you meant what you said
So it's ironic, if not downright strange:
Cuz twenty years later all you want me to do is change

(Bridge)
Before you say you'd give anything to turn back time
Mister here's a few things you'd best keep in mind:

(Chorus)
I'd give a whole lot to be twenty pounds lighter
ten years younger, still an easy rider
the belle of the ball with a quickstep to beat the band
But there's three things that I'd never trade
to turn back time on the life that we've made:
Our two kids and this gold ring on my hand:
Bobby and Jill and this here weddin band
------
I came across an old love letter that you sealed with a kiss
Way back in the storybook days of our newlywed bliss
Told me how you loved and adored everything about me
Said you wouldn't change a single thing: I was good as I could be

Then once upon a time life happened and we turned another page
And opened to the bittersweet chapter that they call middle age
And so it's ironic that we've come to The End:
Cuz twenty years later all you want us to be is friends

(Bridge/Chorus)

Last edited by Scott Philip Stewart; 08/25/10 03:03 AM.

Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,827
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,827
Hey Scott and Heather,

Real cool opening ! Different and origional. The 1st harmonic works, and blends really well.

I've listened a few times through ( cool change up at 1.18 ), and all in all ?

Great performance, and a solid tune that lacks punch.

I'm thinking it should be sped up a little, and more punch put into the production. ( Just giving the snare some compression and snap wuold help in itself ) The odd mis-timings/random triples on the hitats don't add to it.

I just feel the whole song is dragging. And that's not the fault of the vocalist, ot the writers, just how it's presented. I'd go back, and with agressive thoughts, give it some more oomph, production wise.

cheers, niteshift




Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
T
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
T
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Hey Guys, I'm not gone on the entro, it passed me by somewhat,
I had to do listen again before realizing it was the first
half of the chorus, I'd lose it and start with a verse which
would also get you to the first chorus a little faster, you
can always add another chorus further repeating your hook,
I think it needs a lift in the final third to drive it home,
it plods a little at that point, other than those points
which are just my opinions and others will disagree, I
think it a good song very well delivered,

Tony.

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Niteshift,

Thanks so much for giving this song a listen. I really appreciate your encouragement and very helpful suggestion about the song's lacking punch. I just got in from a Heart concert at an ampitheater here in Atlanta and after listening to "Even It Up" and "Straight On For You" (which might be the punchiest songs I've ever heard : ), I agree with you. I'm going to work on the tempo, compress the drums a bit, and add an electric guitar track to see what I can do about it. I'm definitely not even trying to do a pro demo here with my neophyte production skills and humble gear; just having some fun and seeing which songs in my growing notebook are even worth investing in pro demos. But I definitely want to get better, so thanks again for your help and all the best--
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Hi Scott.

I'm with Tony on the entro. Missed me as well. I thought that I was listening to the wrong song. However

I loved the rest of it. Great words and great singing by Heather.

Not being a musician I can't say anyyting about tempo etc. Just that I really liked it as is. Flowed really well and kept me listening right through.

You say you are going to do this and do that to improve it, well then I will be back cos I love this track

clever write.

God Bless Roy and Helen


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
Top 30 Poster
Offline
Top 30 Poster
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,911
Likes: 1
Scott,

It's pretty good but a couple of things jumped out at me.

The first chord of the rise needs to be something other than the 1. It sets up no tension to be resolved in the chorus as it is.

I don't care for putting the names of the kids in there - the last line of the chorus would serve you better if you wrapped it up with another use of the hook. "I'd give whole lot to keep this wedding band" or similar.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Tony, Thanks so much for listening and sharing your thoughts on this tune. Seems like opinion is split down the middle online and off about that a capella intro, so ... not sure what I'll do with it. After making the other changes I might can it altogether and proceed directly to verse 1...or start with a full chorus (probably not). Agree about the lull in second verse--meters even show vocal level is down a tick or so I'll see if tempo change and 1-2db gain helps with that. I really appreciate your feedback.

Cheers,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941
Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941
Likes: 3
Just some passing observations:

1.) I think the chorus is catchy -- so that's half the battle right there. You got something there, so you need to capitalize on it.

2.) Verse melody/pace is OK, sets up the chorus pretty well.

3.) The intro seems interesting enough -- it just doesn't fit this song. I'd dump it and re-do a "standard" intro.

4.) What's the story here? Are they getting divorced, separating, going on diets together? She's packing -- what's that mean? Since you haven't really established a story, the song just drifts along. The lack of punch might just be story-related as much as it is "musical".

5.) Verse 2 and 3 are both about saying "don't change" -- no knew info is introduced.

6.) The chorus might also be too long -- that contributes to the "lack of punch" being talked about.

I like it -- but it can get better.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Ah, Roy, thank you so much for listening and for your very kind words. I am really glad that the song worked for you--except for that a capella intro. I think at this point I'm just about convinced that (as beautiful as the lead/harmony vocal on the intro is) it is destined to end up on the digital cutting floor. I really appreciate your encouragement, Roy, so let me say to you: God bless you and Helen.

Best,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, Colin. Thanks so much for giving it a listen and sharing your impressions and suggestions. I really appreciate them and will certainly keep them in mind as I descend into the basement and get back to work on it. I tried a few other chord progs in the lift and the chorus and settled on the I-V-vi-IV as the contrast to the straight I-IV-V of the verses with the ii and iii to build (lift) to the chorus. I will give another listen with your comments in mind, however. Bobby and Jill were just the two other things she wouldn't trade. I will give some thought to your proposed change to the end of the chorus, too.

Thanks again, and cheers,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
Scott....very good....I read Kevin's comments....I kinda agree about the intro thought....the chorus is very good...imo....very easy for folks to relate to those lyrics....enjoyed it...Bob

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,616
Scott and Heather

First after listening a few times and reading some of the other comments, I think the intro actually sells the song at one tempo while it's actually a little slower. This may add to feel of drag in the song.
I personally think if you're considering a tempo change, look no farther then the intro... it's perfect. It's not a big difference but I think it's just right for the song.
For example what I did (about 5x)was, start the song and start counting through the intro and into the first verse and the difference in timing and tempo becomes pretty clear.
Though I agree the song works better without the intro (only because the intro is setting up a whole different experience) and it would be easier to just scrap it.
I believe the complete opposite... If you adjust the intro to fit the song as some has suggested then I think you will end up with a good song but It's my believe that if you adjust the song around the timing and tempo of the intro...you'll have a killer on your hands.

The vocals, lyrics and music arrangement are really good.
That would have been a lot simpler to say...Huh. laugh
Good Luck with this gem...

Nelson



Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Kevin,

Thanks so much for your very thoughtful comments/critique of this song. Very helpful indeed as I'm nearly completing the rework...hoping that in trying to make something better I don't end up making it worse...story of my life: taking something 1/2 decent and improving it so it's all of a 1/4 decent, but have to try because 1/2 decent just ain't good enough even for this hobbyist. I did can the intro...it was an afterthought, really, to try to get the song moving. It was cool, sort of, for a different song. I'll be posting the rework tomorrow so look forward to hearing whether you think it went north or south.

Best, and keep on writing!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Robert,

Unless you're on a continent other than North America, I guess we're neighbors here in Georgia. Howdy or should I say, "Hey." Thank you so much for giving the song a listen and sharing your kind and encouraging words. Nice to meet you, and best!

Cheers,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, Nelson. Wow, thanks a ton for listening to the intro not once but ... 5x? You nailed the whole issue with that intro and I bumped the tempo up by about 5% if my DAW is to be trusted (3 BPM) that more closely matches the tempo of the intro...which got a proper Christian burial. It could still be exhumed, however, if the song just doesn't work as well without it... Your words about setting the listener up for a different experience really resonated with me. Thanks again for your very kind and helpful words.

Cheers,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Finally got around to version 2 of the song based on all the great feedback on version 1. It sounds...different. Do you think it works? No? Yes? Better? Worse? Kept working on the mix till I'm so burnt out on the song if I don't hear it again for a year that will be too soon : ).

Thanks for all the great feedback and suggestions!
Scott

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1084338&songID=9562748


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
I found it!! Yay, I've been looking for this song! I heard this on Scott's soundclick and I've been having a fit over it ever since.

Scott,

You know I love this! I think it's exellent writing music, melody, singing everything.


Heather,

Wow, what can I say? I am a big big fan of yours!

This is truly a great song. Congrats to both of you smile

Dottie

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 691
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 691
Scott:
I only listened to version 2. I liked the capella intro, and the way it gave contrast... liked the lyrics, and thought the singer was fantastic.
Ott

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 116
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 116
Hi Scott, I'd really like to hear this song but for some reason I must be the only guy on planet earth that can't get SoundClick or SoundCloud sites to work! If there's a non-SoundClick/SoundCloud site where this song is at (like MySpace, ReverbNation, YouTube, etc.), pls post it. Thanks, R1NGG1T

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, Dottie! Wow, I'm flattered that you thought enough of this song to bump it up from pages deep. Thank you so very much for your kind words. I'm glad the song works for you and...yes...Heather's vocal is simply perfect for the song.

All the best to you!
Scott



Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, Ott! I went back and forth on that a capella intro before finally deciding that the vocal is too good not to lead with! Glad you like the song. Thanks so much for giving it a listening and for the encouragement.

All the best,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Howdy R1NG, I don't have a ReverbNation account but if you'll send me a PM with your email I'll send it as an attachment.

Cheers!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,235
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,235
Scott,

I listened only to the second version. I'm not sold on the a cappella intro. It might have been the harmony on it. I also think the chorus is maybe too long. It still seems maybe a little slow but I'm not certain if that's maybe caused by the long chorus.

Just my thoughts on first listen. Otherwise I think it sounds pretty good and Heather has done a fantastic vocal for you.


http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, Wendy, and thanks for giving a listen and sharing your thoughts on this song. I greatly appreciate it, my neighbor here in the ATL. Ah, this song.... The tempo shifted up and up and then back down half a hair, and the a cap intro came and went and came again...till at last I got a little burnt out on it and my ears dulled and I said, "I got what I got" and moved on. I think this is the only song I've ever done that has split listeners right down the middle on just about every single element and had them saying, "This or that makes" or "toasts" the song! So I'll take an "I'm not sold" and bang the gavel!

Again, thanks so much for listening and sharing your thoughts...believe me I know they come from a deep well of talent and wisdom.

Best,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857
Likes: 1
Hi,

I listened to version 2...
Maybe I'm an easy sell but I didn't see anything I didn't like.
Nice work.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082
Likes: 1
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,082
Likes: 1
Hi Scott:

This worked well for me - I love acapella openings to I vote to keep it smile

Production seems very good - not at the pro level but then not many of us are. It sounds very good but I think a pro production would give it the punch that others have referred to. When I make this comment, I'm talking about the level that a demo would need, imo....

Fundamentally though, as a song, I like it. Some really cool phrasing on a couple of lines was a nice touch:

"Cuz twenty years later all you want me to do is change
Before you say you'd give anything to turn back time"

Nice work!

Scott



Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 838
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 838
Sounds good Scott! I like the intro, no other real nits come to mind. Good Job!

Todd


Everything we have has come from you, and we
give you only what you have already given us!

1 Chronicles 29:14


www.soundclick.com/toddgstrachan
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Scott..

I love this one..man wish I could sing half, naw 1/4 as good as Heather...what a wonderful voice..this is really great.all sounds great to me...glyn

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 116
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 116
Hi Scott, did not receive the MP3 file. But nevermind, will try and listen at my friend's place when I get the chance.

Cheers, R1NGG1T

Last edited by R1NGG1T; 10/20/10 09:51 AM.
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Hi Scott

Well listening again to the 2nd one.... hopefully I won't be repeating too much of what has been said... Heather sounds great, the melody fits the lyric (one thought below on that) and overall sounds like it has potential.

The mix still needs work - drums should sit a bit back more.

My one lyrical suggestion would be to only use 'ironic' one time -- Alanis -- still gets flack about her usage of that word.....

I thought the last liNe of the chorus gave me a bump -- and it might just be I want a wee change -- like ' Bobby ' first notes -- starting lower......

I also thought a dramatic pause before that last line might be worth a try. -

best wishes - jm

Last edited by Joice Marie; 10/19/10 09:18 PM.

perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hey Calvin...Thanks for giving it a listen and for your kind words. An easy sell is a good sell these days! Say, you don't hail from that wild-eyed Clan Stewart that settled in the hills of Western NC in the early 18th century...of Frankie Stewart fame...are you?

Cheers!
Scott



Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Howdy, Scott, and thanks for sharing your impressions. Yes, that voice is a heavenly thing. As for production, yeah, I know, I'm trying to stretch a little at a time but keep hitting that blasted "brick wall limit" (pun intended : ) of talent and gear! If I ever get something with half-decent prospects, I'll invest in having a pro demo made.

Thanks again and cheers!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hey there, Todd. Thanks for the kind words. What...no nits? Come now. I know you could at least have busted the fact that (though played) the v-drummed part was not sampled on a kit that gives it the "real" real drum sound that you get (love the sound of those acoustic skins on your stuff).

Thanks and be blessed!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi, Glynda, and thanks for listening and your kind and encouraging words. Glad it works for you and 1/4 good as Heather would be pretty good, methinks.

Keep writing (music and words)!
Best,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Joice, and thanks for reminding me of Ironic by Alanis M. Great angry chick attitude songs. The drums probably are a tick too high. As a drummer whose ear drums have been pounded to mush and who used to have to beat the devil out of the skins to be heard over a Marshall stack on one side and an Ampeg on the other, I always hear in my head: "More cowbell!" and spin the knob 1-2 decibels just because I can now (I had no control over the amps back in the day : ).

Thanks again. Your counsel is always good!
Cheers,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
Scott....definitely better....a lot better...sounds great....very good write....excellent singing....Bob

Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 159
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 159
I think the a capella intro works. I didn't like it at first, but the second time listening to the song it kinda grew on me. I agree with Kevin Emmrich's comments except for the intro. If you do decide to change some of the lyrics, I would try to the add the title more times in the chorus to make it more memorable. Just some food for thought.

Carlos


Carlos Tabora
Songwriter/Pianist
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 522
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 522
Scott and Heather,

Any advice I could give would not be as good as what you have already received. So I will just say that I love the music and
vocals and enjoyed the lyrics very much. Great write.

Rod




Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526
Helping Hand
Offline
Helping Hand
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,526
I LOVE Heather's vox on this, she always sounds GREAT, and I like the write. Actually I like everything about it, don't think it needs to be "Heart" punchy. It's not that kind of song. It would probably benefit though from a full band demo. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/pollyhager
http://www.facebook.com/polly.wilmot
http://www.reverbnation.com/rockcandycincy
You're supposed to be grooving as hard as you can, all of the time. - Stephen Gaskin
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Hi Scott

I did post a comment on the first version about the Intro not working for me.

WELL I don't know what you did (not being a musician or studio guy), but it works for me 110% now.

It's really the first half of the chorus and I have started with the chorus a few times.

I think Heather sets the song up just right.

I really do Love this song and its a real clever write IMO.

God Bless Roy and Helen

Last edited by Roy Cooper; 10/20/10 06:16 AM.

'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941
Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941
Likes: 3
Hey, I forgot about this one. It sounds pretty good to me now. There is some vocal effect on the intro lead that is a little odd, but that's OK. Good improvement -- you definitely went forwards on this one! The chorus is pretty catchy.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,427
Scott,

This song still gives me chills!! I had to come hear it again. smile

Love LOVE IT!

Dottie

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Robert, and thanks so much for your kind and encouraging words. I'm glad you approve the changes and think we're heading in the right direction with it!

Cheers,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, Rod, thank you kindly for listening and encouragement. Yes, I received so much great advice and counsel from the JPF community on this one that a hearty THANKS TO ALL is fitting.

Cheers!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Polly and thanks so much. Yes, I can't say enough how Heather's voice transforms a fairly decent song into something I actually enjoy listening to : ] I'm glad you liked it and agree that punching it up more would knock it out at this point. Full-band demo would be great to see what some pro's would do with it.

Cheers!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Roy. You sure are blessed with the gift of encouragement, my friend. 110%...wow. I'll take it! Thanks so much for revisiting this song and I'm so glad it works for you.

Thank you, thank you!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi there, Kev, and thanks for coming back for another listen. I am especially glad that you think it got better...my fear is always that I'll make em worse. I'll check that vocal effect, not sure what plug-in I used on it and it sounds different on every system I monitor it on.

Thanks again, pal, and cheers!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Hi Dottie...say, do you do any song-plugging? : ] I have been so encouraged by how much you like this song and dredged it up from page four or five or wherever it was and got me re-energized about it. Thank you, thank you, and I look forward to collabing with you!

Cheers!
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com

Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5