Who's Online Now
8 members (Fdemetrio, couchgrouch, VNORTH2, Sunset Poet, bennash, Gary E. Andrews, Everett Adams, Perry Neal Crawford), 3,934 guests, and 295 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Backhand Blue
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/29/24 07:48 AM
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
She’s missing but she ain’t missing him
by ckiphen - 03/23/24 08:44 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate Thread
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 601
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 601
I can supply a vocal track to work off of for this one but I want it to be uptempo and I'm not very good at that, lol. If anyone is willing to help let me know please. I also still have a lot of writing and re-writing to do on this.

Kiss You Back

Hard day of work sittin at the bar
sippin' on whiskey to a steel guitar
He bought me a beer and said "What's your name?"

Minutes turn to hours
and hours turned to beers
everything else seemed to disappear

Pre Chorus:

when he said "What would you do if I kissed you?"
And I said "Ooh I'd kiss you back."

Chorus:
I'd kiss you back
til the sun begins to rise
I'd kiss you back
til its time to say goodbye
I'll kiss you a million times
til all the reason runs out of rhyme
Ooh I'd kiss you back

A few months later and here we are
Can't believe we got this far
Lovers in love until the end of time

Days turned to months
and months turned to years
everything else seemed to disappear

Pre Chorus
When he said "What would you do if I kissed you?"
and I said "Ooh I'd kiss you back."

I'd kiss you back
til the leaves begin to fade
I'd kiss you back
til the sun soaked up the shade
everyday til the end of time
til all my reason runs out of rhyme
Ooh I'd kiss you back






I do custom myspace pages! Check out my work http://www.myspace.com/naomisuemontgomery and http://www.myspace.com/nashvilleapril email me at nmontgomery1984@yahoo.com for mor info or message me on JPF!
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,710
You've got a pretty good start on the pre-chorus and chorus. This shows promise.


Write from your heart, not what you think others want to hear.

https://dansullivan2.bandcamp.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/dansullivan2
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Hi Naomi I'd love to help out as I've been listening to your SC page and I really like your style. There's a touch of Norah jones in your vocals and that's cool. If you can email me what you've got so far I'll see what I can do. Very nice lyrics by the way "sippin' on whiskey to a steel guitar" that's a cracker !

mork1976@gmail.com

Kind regards
Andy



Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-)
Just PM or email:

Email -- mork1976@gmail.com

Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371
S
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
S
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371
Hi Naomi,

I agree with Mork the steel guitar line is great!.

There is something there alright. I think getting the up tempo track going with it will help. The line of minutes turn to hours and hours turn to beers, well is she a bit 'merry' after sitting in a bar all day by the time she is talking about the first chorus? wink

I would rethink the 2nd last line of the chorus (the 'till all my reason runs out of rhyme') .. that's just a personal opinion, in fact everything in this post is my personal opinion. smile

There is something cool here though and it does have a breezy poppy style especially the 2nd verse.

Cheers

Alan

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"
Top 10 Poster
Offline
Top 10 Poster
"
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Wonderfully-Well-Written Words, Mz Naomi-S!

"Minutes turned to hours/
& hours turned to beers/
Everything else seemed to disappear" has gotta be One of The BEST Set-Ups I've ever read!

Your Chorus is a GEM.

The "Feel-Good Feeling" feels GREAT by Song's End.

"KUDOS" for a reaaaally GOOD Lyric here...& Good Luck with the Musicating & all that follows-after!

Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Stan

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,271
Hi Naomi.

These lyrics are really good and I can't wait to hear the finished song.

God Bless Roy and Helen

Minutes turn to hours
and hours turned to beers
everything else seemed to disappear

Great


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 601
Serious Contributor
OP Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 601
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=994403

Mork,

Here's a little sample of what it sounds like in my head. Like I said I'm still working on it so I'll post more as I progress. Thanks everyone for the feedback.

Naomi Sue


I do custom myspace pages! Check out my work http://www.myspace.com/naomisuemontgomery and http://www.myspace.com/nashvilleapril email me at nmontgomery1984@yahoo.com for mor info or message me on JPF!
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Thanks Naomi the sample sounds good and I like where you're going with the melody it's given me plenty to be getting on with I'll post something back in the next day or two for you to have a listen to.

Rgds
Andy



Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-)
Just PM or email:

Email -- mork1976@gmail.com

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Dear Naomi,

If you and Andy don't mind, I wanted to lend a hand as well.
I've been listening to your the sample that you posted and first I just want to say "What a beautiful voice!!" I could listen to you sing all day! And I like the song as well.

I have listened to the sample several times and something about it has been giving me difficulty. I will try to convey my findings with you, so that hopefully you can let me know what you're really looking for.

When you go from the verse to the pre-chorus, it's as if you're changing to a new key and while that might be ok, the new key doesn't map back to the verse again.

I've made some recordings of me strumming a very basic chord along with your a'capella vocal sample, so that I can illustrate this:
http://www.churchfieldsolutions.com/cyberjam/kissyouback-orig.mp3

And then I raised the pitch of your voice (up 4 half-steps) and tried it again. (sorry for making you sound like a munchkin)
http://www.churchfieldsolutions.com/cyberjam/kissyouback-chorus-up4.mp3

While the second one is not perfect, it does stay in the original key and leave us in a much better place for the next verse.

Both recordings have verse-chorus-verse, with vocal on left channel, guitar on right channel. I separated the guitar and vocal, so that you could use my recording to sing with for your next sample if you want.

The next time you post a sample (hopefully soon) please be sure to do part of the second verse, so that we can be sure that the chorus resolves ok to the next verse.

Also, get back to me on any details of what you think the music should sound like and any instrumentation you think would be best.

I really like this song and I don't think it would take much to make it sound fantastic.

Last edited by Paul Churchfield; 09/18/10 08:20 PM.
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Hi Paul,
You've nailed it man, I've been struggling for a couple of weeks with this one. It's mad because the first 3 chords in the verse are exactly the same as mine..spooky.

I'm happy for you to take this one on if that's ok with Naomi Sue. I'd been having a nightmare with a few chords in the chorus but it sounds like you've got it.
I'll email her and let her know to come and checkout what you've done.

Great work Paul.



Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-)
Just PM or email:

Email -- mork1976@gmail.com

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Andy,

I'm not looking to take this over, just lend a hand.

I'd be happy to work with you in any capacity that I can.

I think that the main thing that we are dealing with is lack of accompaniment. I mainly want to be sure what she is looking for before laying down any accompaniment. From there maybe a simple guitar, bass, percussion accompaniment to keep the rhythm true and let her shine on the vocal.

I am still not altogether satisfied with the the way it is yet. It is closer but still not there yet.
If you listen to the chorus to verse transition, it is still quite a leap. It's almost as if my ear wants to hear her singing a different interval of the same melody. But I really want be careful to keep all of this analysis on the down-low for now so as not to influence her original idea; which, I absolutely love.
It's just the logistics of getting from chorus to verse that we're up against right now.
My guess is, that this is what caused her to reach out for help in the first place.

Please stay on board with me if you will.
This community has been a lot of fun for me and I'm really enjoying all of the fellowship.
Have a great day!
-Paul

Last edited by Paul Churchfield; 09/19/10 10:52 AM.
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 135
W
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
W
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 135
If I could suggest an idea or so. Might be something to work off of or not.

iss You Back

Hard day of work sittin at the bar
sippin' on whiskey to a steel guitar
He bought me a beer and said "What's your name?"

Minutes turn to hours
and hours turned to beers
everything else seemed to disappear
when he said ....
"What would you do if I kissed you?"

"What would I do If he kissed me?"

the whiskey and the music of the steel guitar
his dark eyes smiling from the light of the bar.
made me say...
"Ooh I'd kiss you back."
" ooh I'd kiss you back"
Chorus:
I'd kiss you back
til the sun begins to rise
I'd kiss you back
til its time to say goodbye
I'll kiss you a million times
til all the reason runs out of rhyme
Ooh I'd kiss you back



This is just an idea and I hope it might help, let me know what you think.
Wyndham

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Please consider my arrangement of this song.
Here is my recording http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9678520
I had to alter the melody of the verse, so that it resolves correctly to the chorus and the back.
I also added a short intro, that follows ever chorus as well.
I think it needs a bridge and/or instrumental ot two.
I played the melody (on the left channel only) so that you can hear what I mean and then use my recording as accompaniment by muting the left channel.
Let me know if this could work for you.
Also, please give constructive criticism and I will use it to make subsequent takes.
The melody that I played here is just for illustration.
It is not really supposed to be heard.

Thanks
-Paul

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 135
W
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
W
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 135
Hey Paul that sounds great. I like the upbeat tempo.
Wyndham

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 498
Likes: 1
Thanks Wyndham!
That was pretty much the tempo of the a'capella sample that she published.

Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 749
Hi Paul, Sorry for the late reply, I've just been very busy. I'll take a good listen when I get home from work. I'm sure it's going to be pretty cool, you've got a better ear than me I was having real trouble with the chorus.

If you need any help just ask.



Work for hire Producer. I will also produce and master any old/new work tapes up to demo standards. :-)
Just PM or email:

Email -- mork1976@gmail.com


Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,718
Posts1,160,951
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5