Who's Online Now
13 registered members (Deej56, Mackie H., couchgrouch, Dave Rice, niteshift, maccharles, Guy E. Trepanier, 3 invisible), and 216 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Scott Campbell
Scott Campbell
Lakeland, FL, USA
Posts: 12,067
Joined: July 2005
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
Not really a Blog, but something I'm doing
by Rich Murray. 02/19/20 08:06 PM
::: Lucky Guy (Uke) :::
by JaneK. 02/19/20 12:56 PM
Sometimes (You Gotta Go Home)
by JaneK. 02/19/20 12:47 PM
Practical Guidelines For Guitaring: Standing
by Marc Barnette. 02/19/20 12:34 PM
Old Navy Footlocker
by couchgrouch. 02/19/20 10:17 AM
Looking for musicians who need lyrics
by Brian Austin Whitney. 02/19/20 07:02 AM
Synchronization Licensing
by Gary E. Andrews. 02/19/20 12:19 AM
$ynchronization Licen$ing.
by Gary E. Andrews. 02/18/20 11:25 PM
Crimson Red
by Deej56. 02/18/20 11:13 PM
Stop Wasting Your Time (Have A Good TIme)
by Deej56. 02/18/20 11:03 PM
DRINK WITH ME. DEEJ & Travis. ( updated)
by Deej56. 02/18/20 11:01 PM
Does this seem legit?
by Marc Barnette. 02/18/20 03:38 PM
CAGED for Guitar
by Kevin Emmrich. 02/18/20 01:51 PM
Any Friend Of Jesus
by Vicarn. 02/18/20 07:35 AM
David Olney RIP
by Brian Austin Whitney. 02/18/20 03:19 AM
New Add to Playlist
by Brian Austin Whitney. 02/17/20 09:35 PM
Child Of Nova - Instrumental
by GocartMoz. 02/17/20 10:29 AM
Somewhere South of Nowhere. Vic
by Vicarn. 02/17/20 09:41 AM
The Same Sun Shines On Us All
by Gavin Sinclair. 02/16/20 10:00 PM
low tide
by John Paragreen. 02/16/20 07:44 PM
A Master Of Reason And Rhyme
by Mackie H.. 02/16/20 12:24 PM
What will be will be
by ckiphen. 02/16/20 11:32 AM
Fiver anyone?
by Dave Rice. 02/15/20 01:55 PM
Darker side of me
by ckiphen. 02/15/20 01:05 PM
The Millionaires club
by ckiphen. 02/15/20 12:59 PM
Without You
by Gerry. 02/15/20 09:35 AM
URGENT! Our Site is being shut down on JAN 31st!
by ben willis. 02/14/20 05:32 PM
Time for me
by ckiphen. 02/14/20 04:40 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,815
Travis david 11,726
Kevin Emmrich 10,590
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,600
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,845
glynda 8,659
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
Colin Ward 7,908
couchgrouch 7,672
Dave Rice 7,524
Corey 7,357
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
Mark Kaufman 6,568
Vicarn 6,292
ben willis 6,107
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
niteshift 5,591
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,653
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,372
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Roy Cooper 4,189
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
nightengale 4,092
TamsNumber4 4,075
MFB III 3,902
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,814
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,561
E Swartz 3,447
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,812
MidniteBob 2,707
Nelson 2,603
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,219
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,022
DukeWill 1,988
maccharles 1,984
floyd jane 1,982
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Fdemetrio 1,777
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Martin Lide 1,651
Iggy 1,650
Noel Downs 1,620
Rick Heenan 1,603
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,462
GocartMoz 1,462
Tom Franz 1,455
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Kenneth Cade 1,429
Rick Norton 1,428
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,230
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
Deej56 1,163
Diane Ewing 1,158
Gerry 1,148
lane1777 1,145
summeoyo 1,126
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
Wolvman 960
IronKnee 947
Jak Kelly 912
90 dB 892
krtinberg 890
9ne 889
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
frahmes 781
Dayson 774
teletwang 762
Andy K 744
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 733
ant 732
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
Irwin 634
Pat Hardy 625
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
Moosesong 609
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
JAPOV 562
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 511
goodfolks 499
R&M 496
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#832744 - 07/23/10 11:44 PM PLEASE IGNORE THIS POST= SEE FORUM 3  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy folks. This is from one of my adventures down to Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, back when I was 19 or 20, trying to get into
the Whiskey a Go Go. It was quite a culture shock for a small
town boy.
Many thanks to all for their input, which has givin' me just
what I needed to improve this little story song....Gus
...............................................................
SORRY FOLKS, THE MUSICATION FOR THIS LYRIC IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE
SPIRITS OF CITY NIGHTS :
(working title) = trying to decide between: cityzens: denizens : creatures: spirits: people: or any suggestions
Copyright©: 2010: Steven August Rieck

Scoping out, the back door
Seems no guard , to card me there
Each time, it swings open
Killer tunes , fill smoggy air

Glance, through grimy windows
Got an itch, to get inside
Bouncer yanks my shoulder
Growlin’ “hey kid, take a ride”

CHORUS
Spirits of, city nights
Gone like, vapor every day
Act, allergic to sun light?
Fading shadows,to shades of gray

I try my chance, on the Coral Club
Just a quick walk, down the block
Constant noise assaults the dark
Blaring horns, & endless talk

Old crusty, begs a cigarette
I turn away , and wave him off
Hookers sell seductions
Passion sex and fun

REPEAT CHORUS

Tattooed thugs in tank tops
Talk smack, as I’m cruising by
They bust a gut, when I run
It’s clear exactly why

Black barker, who fronts the strip club
Slips me a coupon, as I’m drifting by
Howling “Thirty naked girls”
Gestures, for me to step inside

Pumping up my bravado
I straight arm the door head on
Act casual, like I’m plenty old
Pray that, it's my lucky one

Muscle head , there to collect
Flashes me, a toothless grin
I break out, my fake ID
He takes my dough, and waves me in

REPEAT CHORUS

Original version.........................................
.........................................................
V1
He sneaks round to the back door
Damn the bouncers there
Sounds of talk & laughter
Music fills the air
V2
He peers in thru the window
Like to be inside
The Bouncer grabs his shoulder
Says,"hey kid, take a ride"
V3
Boy goes to try the Coral Club
It's only down the block
Hears a buzzin' in the night time
Happy people talk
LIFT
A bum begs for a quarter
Boy turns and shines him on
The hookers make suggestions
Of passion till the dawn
CHORUS
People of the night
So different from the day
Hidden from the light
Boy, don't get in their way
V4
Group of thugs in leather coats
Jeer as he walks by
They laugh as he picks up his pace
They know exactly why
LIFT
The barker at the strip club
Don't pay him no mind
"Girls naked girls", he howls
"One of every kind"
CHORUS

V5
He pumps up his bravado
Hits the door head on
Tries to look as old as he can
Hopes this is the one
BRIDGE
Old fart who's there, to check IDs
He looks up as he grins
Unless you got your license kid
You ain't gettin' in
CHORUS





Last edited by Steven August Rieck; 07/31/10 03:35 PM.

PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#832758 - 07/24/10 01:10 AM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 158
Bater Offline
Serious Contributor
Bater  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2008
Posts: 158
Mn
Hey Steve, I enjoyed the listen and I think it has a very nice classic rockin feeling, but I have a hard time believing that I would hear it on a radio station as a new song. There are a few classic rock stations that play lots of stuff similar to this. It could certainly pass for one of theres.

#832761 - 07/24/10 01:32 AM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Bater]  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,659
glynda Offline
glynda  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,659
Princeton Texas
I really like the lyrics alot, very well written..and the music and Stevie's singing is right on...and yes it does sound like a classic rock song to me....glyn

#832771 - 07/24/10 02:25 AM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: glynda]  
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,455
Tom Franz Offline
Top 200 Poster
Tom Franz  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,455
Northern California
Are you Steven or Gus? or Both?
Is that a 12 string Ric? Sound really good.
I have done the same thing at the same age and been equally intimidated by Los Angeles. Being a small town boy from Oxnard. At least you are from Santa Barbara. That was a big city to me. I remember more intrepid friends going to concerts at Earl Warren Showgrounds. That was big time. The Doors and the Stones when they were both dangerously subversive, scary bands.

Anyway man sorry to go on and on but your song fired me up. You have a great voice. Like pro actually. A lot of personality to it.

Really enjoyed this well done. You obviously did spend a lot of time on it. It shows.
Tom

#832773 - 07/24/10 02:34 AM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Tom Franz]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,428
Rick Norton Offline
Top 200 Poster
Rick Norton  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,428
St. Augustine, FL
Love the sound you get out of that guitar, Stevie. Very descriptive tight lyrics, Steven. A great match. My kind of music.

Rick

#832778 - 07/24/10 03:42 AM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Rick Norton]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy Bater, Thanks for stopping by and giving us a spin, & glad it
was a good listen too. We'll take fitting in on a classic rock station any day.........Yay... Stevie has a retro sound that I
think is hard to beat...........Thanks again...........Gus


PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#832805 - 07/24/10 12:02 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 514
Puddleglum Offline
Serious Contributor
Puddleglum  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 514
West Yorkshire UK
Thats ok liked the chord riff during the chorus.

#832871 - 07/24/10 11:01 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Puddleglum]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy JPF, Gus here. This is my 1st solo lyric to come to fruition.
That was only possible due to all the help, guidance, suggestions,
and other assistance from all my great friends here on these boards.
I didn't want to hog the boards trying to thank everyone who
helped me on FORUM3 individually, so I'll try to do it justice
here. Some of these fine folks made multiple stop overs at various
stages along the way.....THANK YOU....THANK YOU

Mackie
Diane
Big Tampa
Beth
Homer(Roy)
Kitty
Sister G(Glynda)
Polly
Calvin
Drifter
Colin
Puddle
Dottie
Yani
..........Oh, and of course, my Brudda Bubba Gu


.............THANKS AGAIN..................Gus



Last edited by Steven August Rieck; 07/24/10 11:04 PM.

PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#832950 - 07/25/10 03:57 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy Tom, Thanks so much for stopping over, & putting your ear to
this. I actually grew up in the country between Lompoc & Buellton
so I was totally blown away by what I saw. Funny you should mention
Earl Warren, cuz my 1st two concerts ever, were there. Zepplin &
Tull together, then Blind Faith shortly there after......
Those were the days, huh?.......tickets were round $5
Good to run into a former neighbor, where are you hanging out these days?.............Thanks again Gus


PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#832953 - 07/25/10 04:09 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,189
Roy Cooper Offline
Roy Cooper  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 4,189
Hi Gusmainia...

I'mmmmm backkkk.

I really enjoyed listening to this final song.

One to be very proud of and Stevie has done you proud.

I will listen to again and again.

God Bless Roy and Helen


'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'

Our Record Label

Our Personal Website
#833013 - 07/25/10 10:20 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Bater]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,575
Little_stevie_b Offline
Top 50 Poster
Little_stevie_b  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,575
Hickory, North Carolina USA
Originally Posted by Bater
Hey Steve, I enjoyed the listen and I think it has a very nice classic rockin feeling, but I have a hard time believing that I would hear it on a radio station as a new song. There are a few classic rock stations that play lots of stuff similar to this. It could certainly pass for one of theres.


Thanks Bater. Yeah, I'm afraid I'm too much of a musical fossil to get any airplay these days but glad you enjoyed your listen.

Stevie B.

#833021 - 07/25/10 10:36 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Little_stevie_b]  
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 838
Todd Strachan Offline
Top 500 Poster
Todd Strachan  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 838
Detroit Michigan
Great job on this guys! Great story and the music reminded me of the Hollies/ Byrds. I really enjoyed it!

Todd


Everything we have has come from you, and we
give you only what you have already given us!

1 Chronicles 29:14


www.soundclick.com/toddgstrachan
#833022 - 07/25/10 10:38 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: glynda]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,575
Little_stevie_b Offline
Top 50 Poster
Little_stevie_b  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,575
Hickory, North Carolina USA
Originally Posted by glynda
I really like the lyrics alot, very well written..and the music and Stevie's singing is right on...and yes it does sound like a classic rock song to me....glyn


Thanks Glyn. Glad you liked it.

Stevie

#833094 - 07/26/10 12:13 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Rick Norton]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA

Howdy Rick, Gus here. We appreciate you taking the time to listen,
& let us know how it hit you... Stevie sure does a great job with
that Rik'. Glad you liked the story too.
..................Thanks again.................Gus


Originally Posted by Rick Norton
Love the sound you get out of that guitar, Stevie. Very descriptive tight lyrics, Steven. A great match. My kind of music.

Rick


PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#833101 - 07/26/10 12:47 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Scott Philip Stewart Offline
Serious Contributor
Scott Philip Stewart  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 214
Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Hi Gus, Stevie-b, cool vibe here--struck me as some mix of the Byrds and REM (not a bad combo) with Jim Morrison on vox? Love the jangly RIC sound that gives the rhythm that shimmer. Who knows what they'll play on rock stations nowadays? Get a radio-ready demo and bill late 60s golden era r'n'r as new wave. Might just work. Anyway, I love the tune and will listen again for sure.

Cheers,
Scott


Scott Philip Stewart
Writer, novelist, editor
anybody want to collborate? just PM or email me...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/ScottPhilipStewart
http://www.ScottPhilipStewart.com
#833106 - 07/26/10 01:38 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Scott Philip Stewart]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78
BillyS Offline
Serious Contributor
BillyS  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78
Gus,

Given what you've said and what you're asking for, I'd agree that the lyrics have been beaten death. Personally, they don't have a fereshness to them that grabs me as a listener. There are fragments that interest me but it's not cohesive enough. Additonally, the rhyming is very basic and elementary. walk/talk, gone/on, it's just not engaging enough! I think of Mainstreet by Bob Segar, now that's an engaging, almost cinematic experience that draws you in and keeps you there and to use today's hot catch phrase, "it's very conversastional"! It's rich in it's decription and more importantly, its storytelling. And surprisingly, it's not that long, although it says a lot with very few words. I understand you'd rather not revisit the lyrics but they are what's driving this type of a song and from my pespective, it's just not strong enough yet.

I love the singers voice by the way! But the melody is very robotic and by the end way to predictable and mundane. In my opinion, it's not accentuating the storytelling which in and of itself is suspect.

So to answer your question, would I listen to this on the radio and/or buy it if it were on a Cd? No! And I mean no disrespect by that but it's simply not grabbing my attention on a variety of fronts. I think of the last 3 songs and /or Cd's that I bought and each one was due to hearing 1 song that drew me in. Gillian Welch's "Miss Ohio", Blitzen Trappers "Furr" and Solomon Burkes "Diamonds on your Mind", which was written by Tom Waits. All of these are great songs both lyrically and musically and I ran out and bought them instantly. Another one that did that for me a few years back was Jason Michael Carroll's"Alyssa Lies". Another great storytelling lyric. Of the four, Gillian Welch's song is by far the most simplistic both in terms of lyrical content and musical accompaniments but it's very effective and has a few great lines! Along those lines, what are the great lines in your lyric? The one's you can't wait to tell your friends! Are they cleverly crafted? Are they funny? What and where are they and how do they impact the story your trying to tell? Believe me, I'm not trying to be too harshd on you or overly critical but you asked a pretty loaded question and I'm trying to be as honest and straightforward as I can. Obviously this isn't the type of response you've been getting so you'll either have to get more feedback, ask more specific questions or decypher what's credible and what's not. From my vantage point, to simply say, "yeah I love it and I'd buy it" would be doing you and your collaborative partner a disservive. Remember, this is just my opinion and you can do with it as you wish. Personally, I think it needs to be far stronger to warrant putting it on a CD! If you're serious about pursuing that route, I'd invest in a professional critique first. There are many lyricist and/or songwriters who'll critique your song for a fee and it might be worth it to you if you have bigger plans. Just a thought! I know Pamela Oland critques lyrics and songs for $60.00. Not a bad investment if you want to hear from someone who works within the industry and has had songs cut by major artists.

Good luck with this one.

Billy

Last edited by BillyS; 07/26/10 01:40 PM.
#833113 - 07/26/10 02:20 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: BillyS]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy Billy, and Thank you for such an honest and accurate review.
It's very refreshing to get the straight poop from a new
acquaintance........YAY !!! I can see right away that we can both
help each other a bunch. I look forward to that.
I agree whole heartedly that this don't hold a candle to
anything Bob has ever released,...[I can only dream huh?]
Since this is my 3rd lyric ever, composed on the 3rd day of
my 1st week of lyric writing back in 1984, just to not be told
that it is pure junk = good to me. This is just the raw me, no
training at all. I didn't know a verse from a chorus.
We have no aspirations as to cutting this, just asking if folks think they might enjoy this if the heard it, or if it would
seem so amatuer[sp] as to stick out like a sore thumb, ya know?

Thanks again, & look forward to any input on my future stuff.
.........................Yak soon Gus



PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#833121 - 07/26/10 02:28 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78
BillyS Offline
Serious Contributor
BillyS  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 78
Hey Gus,

For your 3rd lyric, it's pretty impressive and I hear you with the crafting, structuring and formating of a song. I'm new to all of this myself. Been writing for 3 years and still learning every day.

It's refreshing to hear your response. It's difficult to be straightforward with someone and even more frustrating when people become defensive and combative. Like I said, these are just my opinions but it's nice to know that you were receptive to them. I, like you, respect this type of interchange.

Good luck with your songwriting endeavors.

Billy

#833159 - 07/26/10 06:25 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Little_stevie_b]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joice Marie  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Originally Posted by Little_stevie_b
[quote=Bater] I'm afraid I'm too much of a musical fossil to get any airplay these days but glad you enjoyed your listen.

Stevie B.


Hi Stevie

Seems like a bad attitude ; D -- dunno - good music is GooD music and you certainly have the abilities and skills... getting radio airplay is quite the challenge -- but to be honest - if you KNOW someone who likes what you do you can still get that air time.

This is a nice effort by both of you - perhaps making you stretch a bit - but don't be afraid to do that and keep bringing forward what you learn. I would agree with Billy that this really would be helped with a few stunning memorable lines.. The feel is retro musically and for this mix - I'd take the steady hit hat hit down a bit.

Carry on and keep writing ! jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#833162 - 07/26/10 06:56 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Joice Marie]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,815
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,815
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi guys !

Good teamwork on it all.
Love that guitar sound and good singing too

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#833221 - 07/26/10 11:34 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Tom Franz]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,575
Little_stevie_b Offline
Top 50 Poster
Little_stevie_b  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,575
Hickory, North Carolina USA
Originally Posted by Tom Franz
Are you Steven or Gus? or Both?
Is that a 12 string Ric? Sound really good.
I have done the same thing at the same age and been equally intimidated by Los Angeles. Being a small town boy from Oxnard. At least you are from Santa Barbara. That was a big city to me. I remember more intrepid friends going to concerts at Earl Warren Showgrounds. That was big time. The Doors and the Stones when they were both dangerously subversive, scary bands.

Anyway man sorry to go on and on but your song fired me up. You have a great voice. Like pro actually. A lot of personality to it.

Really enjoyed this well done. You obviously did spend a lot of time on it. It shows.
Tom


Thanks for giving it a spin Tom. Yeah that's a 12 string Ric...
360/12.

Stevie B.

#833355 - 07/27/10 02:55 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Little_stevie_b]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy Puddle, Thanks for the drive by,& the spin............Gus


PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#833398 - 07/27/10 07:26 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Drifter Offline
Top 500 Poster
Drifter  Offline
Top 500 Poster

Joined: May 2004
Posts: 886
Hey Gus & Stevie! Nice effort! It brings to my mind a David Bowie type tune and lyric. That's not a negative either BTW. Who can argue with 'This is major Tom to ground control'? I look forward to any future efforts you do together. It'll click for you guys! smile

-Dave


"No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky." - Bob Dylan

"A song is anything that can walk by itself." - Bob Dylan

Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/davidjacksonsongwriter

Soundclick:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1079737
#833541 - 07/28/10 01:42 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
KimberlyinNC Offline
Top 50 Poster
KimberlyinNC  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
North Carolina
Originally Posted by Steven August Rieck
Howdy all, I have beat this lyric to death,
& then made lots of changes as suggested by my JPF pals.......
Not looking at making any more lyrical changes,
were hoping to hear whether you think you would like it
if you heard it on a CD,or the radio........Thank You



Howdy folks. This is from one of my adventures down to Sunset Blvd in Hollywood, back when I was 19 or 20, trying to get into
the Whiskey a Go Go. It was quite a culture shock for a small
town boy.
Many thanks to all for their input, which has givin' me just
what I needed to improve this little story song....Gus
...............................................................
MY ENDLESS THANKS GO OUT TO MY BRUDDA STEVIE
BIEDERMAN FOR BRINGING THIS SONG TO LIFE, & HIS ADVICE ON LYRICS TO KEEP ME FROM BEING "OVER THE TOP" WITH THEM......GUS

..............................................................
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9417574

PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT
Copyright:(c): 2010 Steven August Rieck & Steven Biederman

LYRICS AS RECORDED(I BELIEVE)
One eye on the back door
No one to card me there
Sounds of talk & laughter
Music fills the air

I peer thru foggy windows
Want to get inside
Bouncer yanks my shoulder
Growlin, "hey kid, take a ride"

CHORUS
People of the night
They vanish in the day
Hidden from the day light
Their shadows lost their way

I go to try the Coral Club
It's only down the block
Endless noise assaults the dark
Motors, horns and talk

A bum begs me for a dollar
I turn & wave him on
Hookers sell seductions
Passions until dawn

CHORUS
People of the night
They vanish in the day
Hidden from the day light
Their shadows lost their way


Tattooed thugs in undershirts
Talk smack as I walk by
Then laugh when I pick up my pace
They know exactly why

Barker for the strip club
Don't pay me any mind
"Girls Naked Girls" he howls
"One of every kind"



BRIDGE
I pump up my bravado
Then hit the door head on
Try to act like I'm of age
Hope this is the one

Crusty dude who checks I D's
Shows a toothless grin
Unless you got your license kid
You ain't gettin' in

REPEAT CHORUS


Hi- I like the music, though in places I feel it could use a bridge or break up, to change things up. the lyrics are good, but I feel could be a bit better in places...some of it is not conversational such as
I peer thru foggy windows To me this sounds too poetic for this style of song, maybe I look though a dirty window or a grimey window, to show us the street and how the windows would be ....to me, they would be foggy inside due to the people and dirty outside..just something to consider...
I feel instead of the constant trying to get in these places without a card and the interchanges with the bouncers, make it where he does get in and tell us more about the atmosphere, and what he experienced, though his senses, smells, tastes, etc...did he dance with a painted lady? did he almost get into a fight, was he thinking about a girl back home when he held a stranger tight? I feel this has some good qualities in it, and if you do not want to change any lyrics, that is up to you, I just feel you have a good song, but you could make it even better...with some more tweaking...jmho--good luck:)Tell us more about those people of the night...describe them to the point that we can see them...:) KIM

Last edited by Kimberlyinnc; 07/28/10 01:43 PM.

*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
#833562 - 07/28/10 03:28 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,603
Nelson Offline
Top 200 Poster
Nelson  Offline
Top 200 Poster

Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,603
Baltimore, MD
Hey Steve, I've been writing songs for a little over a year now and at the beginning it was like pulling teeth for me to change a song that I managed to complete.
I'm now in the process of rearranging some songs so I can try playing them at Open Mics, just me and a Guitar and now I find myself changing thing all the time. Be it a word or a whole sentence. The more I sing it the more ideas come to mind.
I love the story in your song and I believe we should always be willing to make chances to our babies but with the sole intent of making the story more defined and entertaining to the listener.
For instance I think the message you're getting across in the second half of the bridge, is that The kid makes it all the way to the door only to run into another road block.
Below I'm showing an example of how you can change the actual words if you choose to as long as the message remains clear to the listener. The road block

The bouncer at the door, mean and tough,
Flashes a toothless grin.
says if you can't prove you're old enough,
Then you ain't gettin in.


Change isn't bad as long as the message remains.

By the way I think it's one hell of a funny story and you should revisit it every once and a while.

I mean no disrespect by anything and I tend to ramble on a bit at times, so forgive please me.

-Nelson

#833621 - 07/28/10 09:12 PM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = Litmus test [Re: Roy Cooper]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy again Homer, you are a glutton for punishment, coming back for seconds, but we sure appreciate it....Thanks Again...Gus

Originally Posted by Roy Cooper
Hi Gusmainia...

I'mmmmm backkkk.

I really enjoyed listening to this final song.

One to be very proud of and Stevie has done you proud.

I will listen to again and again.

God Bless Roy and Helen


PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#833667 - 07/29/10 03:06 AM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = NEW RE-WRITE *DELETED* [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Post deleted by Steven August Rieck

Last edited by Steven August Rieck; 07/29/10 03:39 AM.

PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#833696 - 07/29/10 09:20 AM Re: PEOPLE OF THE NIGHT = Musicated = NEW RE-WRITE [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joice Marie  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
How about something kind of theatrical - it lends itself to the 'voyeur' nature of the Narrator


F E A T U R E S OF CITY NIGHT

Features of city night
Gone like vapor every day
Are they allergic to sun light?
Fad-ING shadows , to shades of gray


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#833980 - 07/30/10 04:04 PM PLEASE IGNORE THIS POST= SEE FORUM 3 [Re: Joice Marie]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
SORRY FOLKS, THE MUSICATION FOR THIS LYRIC IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE
SPIRITS OF CITY NIGHTS :
(working title) = trying to decide between: cityzens: denizens : creatures: spirits: people: or any suggestions
Copyright©: 2010: Steven August Rieck

Scoping out, the back door
Seems no guard , to card me there
Each time, it swings open
Killer tunes , fill smoggy air

Glance, through grimy windows
Got an itch, to get inside
Bouncer yanks my shoulder
Growlin’ “hey kid, take a ride”

CHORUS
Spirits of, city nights
Gone like, vapor every day
Are they, allergic to sun light?
Fading shadows,to shades of gray

I try my chance, on the Coral Club
Just a quick walk, down the block
Constant noise assaults the dark
Blaring horns, & endless talk

Old crusty, begs a cigarette
I turn away , and wave him off
Hookers sell seductions
Passion sex and fun

REPEAT CHORUS

Tattooed thugs in tank tops
Talk smack, as I’m cruising by
They bust a gut, when I run
It’s clear exactly why

Black barker, who fronts the strip club
Slips me a coupon, as I’m drifting by
Howling “Thirty naked girls”
Gestures, for me to step inside

Pumping up my bravado
I straight arm the door head on
Act casual, like I’m plenty old
Pray that, it's my lucky one

Muscle head , there to collect
Flashes me, a toothless grin
I break out, my fake ID
He takes my dough, and waves me in

REPEAT CHORUS

Last edited by Steven August Rieck; 07/31/10 03:37 PM.

PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Membership
Join Just Plain Folks
to receive the free
JPNotes Newsletter!
*this is separate from
message board registration*

Newest Members
flowerdesignwi, mrjack7857, ChiTownTaurus, RANDY_CLARK, ellekene
21259 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics119,834
Posts1,129,271
Members21,259
Average Posts Daily30
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"Quality = Longevity." –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0