JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum *** Give Up Jim *** (Heather Cowles - vocals)

Hey everybody,

What I'm posting today is a song I wrote a while back....and I recently had Heather Cowles do a vocal/guitar demo of it for me.

I am so pleased with the fabulous job that Heather did on this. I sent her a worktape....and let me tell you.....she is truly a professional demo singer! She absolutely nailed every nuance of my melody.....the tempo, the modulation, pauses, phrasing....she is simply wonderful! She was such a joy to work with....she has the sweetest personality......and MAN!!.....can she ever sing!......

O.K......I'll hush now....and let you listen...(lol)

Thank you so much for taking the time to listen. I do appreciate it and any comments.

Gail

*************************************

Give Up Jim


Give Up Jim
(c) Gail King 2010

I've watched you pour our future out
One shot glass at a time
I've done all I know to do
Short of losin' my mind
Lately you've found greater comfort
From your amber colored friend
I don't know just how this started
I simply know...it has to end

Now darlin' you must decide
Is it me...or is it him
The only way I'm stayin'
Is if you vow to give up Jim

It's breaking my heart in two
To watch the man I love slip away
You were once dependant on just me
To help you through your day
You've poured a liquid wall between us
I can't swim through ...what's the use
You're living in constant denial
As you sit holding 80 proof

Now darlin' you must decide
Is it me...or is it him
The only way I'm stayin'
Is if you vow to give up Jim

Whiskey and bourbon
In moderation have their place
But in the hands of a weak man
Can make him tumble out of grace

So now darlin' you must decide
Is it me...or is it him
'Cause the only way I'm stayin'
Is if you vow to give up Jim

If it wasn't so early in the morning I'd be saying:

"Set em up Joe"

You gotta love a real Country song

Gail,

I love the lyric, what a clever write!!

Heather did a wonderful job for you.

I really enjoyed it!!

Tammy

Good Song !! Good Job Gail and Heather ! jm

Hi Gail
Good song. Well written and conversational, Key to country music today.
I'm not sold on this part.


Would you actually say that to someone? Probably not, so you have drifted from the conversational tone of the song. The liquid wall is a pretty big metaphor

Heather always does a great job and this is no exception.
Clever use of the hook.

I'm not sure how commercial this is. It seems the rule today is don't preach, don't rant, don't whine.
It's OK to do drinking songs but they need to be less preachy or whiny. I'm not sure this is either.

Good job on this one though. I love good traditional country songs.

Hi Gail:

It's great to hear something of yours - this is excellent!

Heather did a great job on the vocal and music and the lyric is really well-written. That's a really nice hook!

The only line I'm not sold on is the "weak man" line. It just seems a little at odds with the idea that she loves him. Maybe I wouldn't have said anything but the phrasing of that line doesn't seem quite there yet anyway so may be worth revisiting.

So only one nit from me - and it might even be just me

Very cool, Gail!

Scott

Hi there Mike,

It's nice to meet you!

Thanks so much for taking a listen to my song. I appreciate that...and I'm glad you like it....

The next rounds on me! ( lol!)

Kind wishes,
Gail

Hi there Tammy,


Hope this finds you doing well.

Thanks so much for taking a listen to my song...I truly appreciate that....and thanks for the nice comments...I'm really glad that you like it.


Kind wishes,
Gail

Hi Joice,

Thanks for coming by and taking a listen to this song. I'm really glad that you like it.

Hope all is going well for you.

Kind wishes,
Gail

Hey there Bill,


"Don't make me have to take my earrings off"....!!

Just pickin' at you Bill! Thank you so very much for coming by and taking a listen to my song. I do appreciate your comments ...and see exactly what you mean. I truly don't know if this song is "commercial" either...or if this is one I'll even pitch. This is one I've had in my "catalogue" ....and I just knew if anyone could do it justice, Heather could.

Thanks again, Bill...I'm glad you like the song.


Kind wishes,
Gail

Hey Gail,

Yeah, good twist on the Jim thing, but I think it's sounding like a whining womens' song. I'm just wondering where the balance is.

It's a take it or leave it/me kind of lyric, and I'm thinking as a listener, who would want to listen to it ? The dude's hit the bottle, end of story.

Perhaps balancing out the good qualities with the bad, may work better, and giving a glimmer of hope would work better. I don't see a storyline as to "why".

cheers, ( real ones ) niteshift

Hi Scott,

I really appreciate you coming by and listening to this song.
Thanks so much for the compliments...and comments on the song...it means a lot to me.

Thanks for pointing that word out...I see precisely what you mean...I remember struggling with that line a bit...I had considered "troubled man"....will revisit that...and ponder some more!

Thanks again, Scott....I truly appreciate your opinion...and visit.

Kind wishes,
Gail

Hey there Nite,


Thanks for coming by and taking a listen to this song.

I'm glad that you like it and appreciate your suggestions.

Hope all is going well for you.

.....put the next round on my tab....


Kind wishes,
Gail

Gail
I tell you what country girl, ya sure can write a song ... That is a wonderful job and Heather's vocals .. well don't get better for sure ... should be on the radio my dear friend

Love Dan

Had to say Gail I wish I could write lyrics half as good as you can ... my gosh ... More please !!

Dan....you are just so very kind!

I appreciate those nice compliments...I am so humbled by them.

I am so glad you like the song. Heather is awesome, isn't she?!
She really should be singin' at the Opry.

I'll be posting some more songs soon....either here or on the lyric forum....thanks so much Dan. You are my number one fan, for sure....and a dear friend.

Kind wishes,
Gail

Good country song, only the title and lyrics got confusing. Some folks might not know who "Jim" is. Fear not, I know where you're coming from.

Jim Stafford did a song in the 70's called "My Girl Bill", just as confusing.

Hey Ben,

I appreciate you taking a listen to this song. So glad that you like it. Glad you "got" it!

Yes...I do remember that song "My Girl Bill" being a pretty big hit back in the 70's....gosh...was it that long ago?! Time sure flies.

Thanks again, Ben,
Gail

I enjoyed this. The only small tiny nit I would say is maybe it could speed up a hair...but I enjoyed the song. I don't feel it was too preachy because it was from a wife of a man throwing away their life with booze. She has a right to preach. I think it would also be good, faster with a bit more attitude too..But very nice.
Kimberly

Hey Kimberly,

Hope this finds you well.

Thanks for coming by and listening to my song. I appreciate that...and your nice comments...glad it did convey the intended emotions...and I am glad that you enjoyed it.

Kind wishes,
Gail

Hi Gail & Heather,

GREAT WRITING & the performan be Heather was quite lovely as always.
The verse Bill spoke of was my FAVORITE part.

I thought this was excellent writing and that it worked perfect.
Funny how people see things differently.

You've poured a liquid wall between us
I can't swim through ...what's the use
You're living in constant denial
As you sit holding 80 proof

top notch writing.

Have a good day.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hey Gail,

Well my goodness, this is stellar. I disagree with some of those questioning its commercial viability. I think this could be on the radio today -- so what if there's no hope for this couple? That's reality. I'm sure there are plenty of women who are wondering the same thing.

I am a big fan of word-play, and you've done really well in that department. Your opening verse drew me in immediately to the dilemma...and your continued use of the liquid imagery was very compelling.

Needless to say, Heather's vocal nailed it. She has sort of an anguished, modern day Patsy Cline feel to her delivery this time, which really sells the story.

Yup. In my estimation, this is one of the better songs I've heard around here in recent memory. Thank you SOOO much for sharing!

Beth

Hey Calvin,


My gosh....what nice compliments and comments...that is so very kind of you...thank you.

Yes...Heather did a fantastic job with this song. I absolutely loved her delivery and feel she was perfect for this particular lyric.

I agree...it is funny how people see things differently...but I guess that is what keeps this old world so interesting.

Calvin, I truly appreciate you coming by...and I am so glad you enjoyed the song.


Kind wishes,
Gail

Hey Beth,


How in the world are you doing???!!!! What in the world have you been up to??!!

Thank you so much for coming by and listening to my song...and my gosh...what nice compliments...I am overwhelmed. You are just so kind and encouraging.

I totally agree with you...Heather really did "nail" this one! She was the perfect vocalist for this lyric...IMHO.

I do appreciate your very kind visit Beth...it is always so wonderful to hear from you.


My best to you,
Gail

Hey Gail...

Nicely done...hook is cool...can't go wrong with Heather...

Larry

Gail....very good write and a really good "hook"....Heather sings so good...this has an old time country flavor to it...I thing the lyrics do it....Bob

Hey Larry,


I appreciate you coming by and listening to my song....many thanks for the kind words. Glad that you like it.

Hope you are doing well.


My best to you,
Gail

Hey Bob,


Thank you for taking a listen to my song...and thanks for the very kind comments.

I especially appreciate you commenting that this has "an old time country flavor".....because that was my intention when writing this and coming up with the melody for it! I have written so many "uptempo country songs"...I wanted a few in my catalogue with a somewhat "old time" feel and quality....that is why I felt Heather was perfect for this one. The right vocalist can make ALL the difference!

Thanks again Bob....I really appreciate your visit.


Kind wishes,
Gail

Yep she did Gail. It is a great song that has been made greater.

Both me and Helen love it. Well done and

God Bless from us both

Hey Roy and Helen,


Many thanks to both of you for coming by and listening to my song. I am so glad you like it...and I do appreciate your kind comments.

I have been listening to a few of your own songs, on your SoundClick page, and you definitely have some mighty fine ones..."Love of My Life" is one of my favorites...that I've listened to thus far.

My very best to both of you, with all of your wonderful music.

God bless.


Kind wishes,
Gail

Hi Gail,

This is really well crafted. The only nit I have is that the bridge is a little on the moralizing side. It's usually better to tell the story or paint the picture.

Great hook. Sharp songwriting.

Peace,

Ian

Hi Ian,


Sincere thanks for coming by and listening to and commenting on my song.

As a songwriter, this was a tough subject to broach...but one I imagine a lot of women can relate to. I've been told it might be a good pitch for a TV movie/Lifetime type of thing...so might contemplate that avenue also.

Those were really nice compliments..."Great hook"..."Sharp songwriting"...Thank you, Ian...that is very kind.

I truly appreciate your comments on the song...and for your visit.


Kind wishes,
Gail

HiDee Mzs Gail & Heather!

"This One's For The Girls"...but I liked it too!

My Aversion-to-Math made my ears perk-up on the "80 Proof" line, BUT the "Liquid Wall" Image was a KILLER!~

Fine Song, Fine Singing, (Amazing Demo..JUST a Guitar & Fabulous Vocal!) Good Message.

Brings to Memory what the Nice Guy at "Al Jolson's B&W Music" once educated me with: "Country is the White Man's Blues". This is the REAL Thing, Gals, & "CONGRATS" for a Job Well-Done.

Best Wishes/Big Hugs,
Stan

I tend not to post a lot of songs because I don't want 'em to be nit-picked to death but I myself am a
compulive obsessive nit pickin' fool. I do plan to start posting some songs so you can nit pick some
of mine. Also, if I listen to the song some other time, I may feel differently. I don't quite understand
it but that's what I've come to know.


DISCLAIMER: I'm not an expert by any means. All I know is basically what I like. I've heard songs
by experts and critiques by experts and said many times "they're full of crap." The first time I saw
Randy Travis sing on TV I remember saying "he ain't never gonna make it." I'm still waiting for him
to flop and me to be the next Garth Brooks. So take what I say to the trash or take it to heart. It
is all up to you.


Give Up Jim
(c) Gail King 2010

I've watched you pour our future out
One shot glass at a time
I've done all I know to do
Short of losin' my mind
...................I love these lines. Maybe change the third
...................line to something more colorful but I like them.


Lately you've found greater comfort
From your amber colored friend
I don't know just how this started
I simply know...it has to end
...................I ain't so wild about these lines. "Lately"
...................implies recent but the first verse says
...................talks about future. You gotta have a past
...................to have a future and that implies more than
...................recent to me. "Amber friend" could be better I think.


Now darlin' you must decide
Is it me...or is it him
The only way I'm stayin'
Is if you vow to give up Jim
...................
..................."is it him" made me say "what?" She's a woman singing
...................saying "give up JIM?" Is he a homosexual she's married
...................to? Of course I reckon it's Jim Beam. I didn't know Jim
...................Beam was bourbon. I just lump it all into alcohol. I don't
...................think the Jim reference works unless you say earlier
...................that the friend is Jim. If you did that, the "amber" thing
...................I mentioned earlier might work. Maybe you could use
...................them both in the same verse.


It's breaking my heart in two
To watch the man I love slip away
You were once dependant on just me
To help you through your day
...................no comment on these lines, they're average


You've poured a liquid wall between us
I can't swim through ...what's the use
You're living in constant denial
As you sit holding 80 proof
...................I LOVE the "liquid wall" reference! I think that's great.
...................Right now it strikes me as strongly as anything I've
...................heard from a professional writer.


Now darlin' you must decide
Is it me...or is it him
The only way I'm stayin'
Is if you vow to give up Jim
...................see previous


Whiskey and bourbon
In moderation have their place
But in the hands of a weak man
Can make him tumble out of grace
...................I can't imagine a wife in this situation ever thinking
...................whiskey and bourbon has any place in a person's life.


Over all, I think it's a decent song but it's an old theme and it is very country which is good in my book
but hurts the commercial viability of it. One thing about this being an old theme--being old doesn't mean
it isn't topical anymore because it is but there is a lot of competing songs out there about the subject.
You have some strong stuff here that maybe you could use somewhere else someday.

Hi there Stan,


I certainly hope this finds you doing well.

Many thanks for coming by and listening to my song. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it...and appreciate your kind comments and compliments on it.

I agree with you...the demo did come out sounding pretty amazing to be just a guitar/vocal. Heather did a fabulous job. I may get some local (Nashville) guys to add some additional tracks to give it a "richer" sound...however...I really like the way it sounds now too...its' simplicity seems to be perfect for the message of the song.

Thanks again, Stan,for coming by. It's always good to hear from you. I certainly appreciate it.

Take care....especially in this heat....it's 92-93 here today.


Kind wishes & hugs to you too,
Gail

Hi Sausagelink,


It's nice to meet you.

Thank you so much for coming by and giving me such an in-depth review on my song. I truly appreciate the kudos and the candor. I know it takes time for someone to listen and leave their opinions on songs...and I am always grateful when they do.

Thanks for the compliments on the first 4 lines...and I'm also glad you loved the "liquid wall" line.

I will definitely keep in mind everything you've told me.

You've been very kind with both your time...and your observations...and I am very appreciative for both.


Kind regards,
Gail