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Man, it's been a long time since I've had anything new to post. Lousy writer's block. This is a rough work tape with just vocal and guitar. I'm gonna redo everything for a more comprehensive production but this will suffice for now. Thanks in advance for listening.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=9044596

When Jesus Got the Blues
(c) 2010 Steven M. Biederman

He stood on a curb
counting his money
feeling the holes in the toes of his shoes
feeling sad
feeling sorry
For all of the heartache that he ever knew

So he said a prayer
he laid down his burden
he had nothing left to lose
Yes he prayed to the Father
cause that's what he would do
when Jesus got the blues

Jesus got the blues
Just like me and you
He prayed to the Father
Yes that's what he would do
when Jesus got the blues

She was 16
only a baby
made one mistake that some young folks do
If she could choose over
she'd take it all back
she's carrying her own baby too

So she said a prayer
she laid down her burden
she had nothing left to lose
Yes she prayed to the father
cause that's what he would do
when Jesus got the blues

Jesus got the blues
Just like me and you
He prayed to the Father
Yes that's what he would do
when Jesus got the blues

Hey Steve:

Very cool - love the chord progression. Great idea for a lyric too!

Only line I didn't quite get: "She's carrying her own baby too". I thought that's what the previous lines were referring to so the "too" confused me. Had a couple of brews with dinner though so that could be what's confusing me

Nice to see you back with one. I hear ya on the writer's block. Going thru it myself....

Scott

Howdy Bubba Brudda, so Soothing. Pauline came from the other room
to tell me how much she liked this one, & give a second listen.
She agrees that this is right in your wheelhouse, vocally.
.........Thanks for sharing...............Gus

Pretty good stripped down to guitar and vocal. Good topic and the lyrics work pretty well to me. The vocal seems to have too much reverb in it. Glad to see you back in action.

Kevin

Hey Scott. Thanks for the review. I just thought that the "mistake" could have been drugs, pregnancy or whatever and wanted to clarify that she herself was just a baby carrying/pregnant with a baby or babies having babies if you will, plus I needed the end rhyme in that line to go with the third line so we have do and too.

As to the chordal progression there are several diminished chords along with an augmented chord in there that I thought sounded good together.

Anyway, thanks a bunch for the listen and feedback. It means a lot.

Steve

Hi Stevie,

NICE WORK !
Music is nice as is and your vocals sure sound good too.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

It's a cool idea for a song and this is well on the way to realising that idea.

Obviously there are a few issues with the playing at the moment - chord changes, timing, etc - but I appreciate that this is just a sketch version of a song in development.

The "She's carrying her own baby too" line confused me too. Does it mean carrying in the sense of being pregnant, in which case it's unlikely (albeit technically possible) that she'd be carrying anyone else's (except in the sense that it's her partner's baby as well).

Thanks Gus. I appreciate the listen.

Steve

It is an awesome write ... like Scott I love he chord progression and the production if wonderful ... beautiful write my friend
a beautiful write

Thanks Kevin. I appreciate the listen and comments.

Steve

Great first draft Steve. Sounds better than my final drafts. That "baby" verse kind of seems off to me too.

This might work better.

She was 16
only a baby
made one mistake that some young folks do
If she could choose over
she'd take it all back
Her unborn child, her disappointment too

Nice job, Steve.

Rick

Steven....this is excellent....what a hook...wow....shape this puppy up and you've got something...imho....Bob

HiYa Bro Stevie~!

VERY Catchy Hook..& Nice Delivery of The Message, too!

The 16-yr-old Verse I'd Sug:

"(But) She's soldierin'-on..& Eatin'-for-Two"

"So she said a prayer/
& She shared her burden" etc.

Always GREAT to see ya At It Again, Amigo.."KUDOS" for Another Classic!

Good Luck with it! Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug from an Old Friend,
Stan

cool song - nice melodic change on the chorus. I was hearing Elton John type production in my head. For reference if you haven't, you should listen to "Jesus the Lost Years" by John Prine.

I love the idea, the lyric, the music, the vocals..well heck, reckon i love this song....great, just great..glyn

Hi Stevie

I like the way you are singing on this -- real feeling and every thing else is really working for me too !
nIce
jm

Hello Steve. Glad to meet you. Thanks for the listen and constuctive comments.

The other Steve

Hi Steve,

I think that first verse draws us in right away...very nice! And the rest of it is well-written and interesting. I like Stan's idea for "she shared her burden"...subtle, but adds something, imo.

Nice work!

Kristi

Thanks alot for the listen Calvin. I like your new one as well.

Steve

Hi Steve
I liked this. the chord progression was familiar but I knew it was also different. You guys with those diminished and augmented things always confuse me. But it sure sounded nice.

The Lyric
I think it has a little bit of the pronoun confusion problem.
Too many he and she and, I assume, HE.

So he said a prayer
he laid down his burden
he had nothing left to lose
Yes he prayed to the Father
cause that's what he would do
when Jesus got the blues

I figured out that the he in the 5th line was Jesus.
but not until I read the whole song and then I wasn't sure until I reread it.
I don't know if that was intentional or not but it didn't really work for me.
Up until I read the Girl's verse I thought the song was saying Jesus had holes in his shoes? Even though it didn't make much sense.
Might just be me though.I know it might seem wrong to use Jesus twice so soon again but what if you said

cause that's what Jesus would do
when Jesus got the blues

It can't be worse than repeating "he" 7 times up to that point
Or, give the guy and the girl a name.

The "too" line for the girl threw me a little too. But just listening I think it could work ok.
You have a couple good suggestions on that line
Here's one more
She hopes it's a boy a girl's OK too

Stevie ... hey this is a very interesting angle for a blues song! It's not quite blues, but the song's great! Love the chorus!

Very nice and can be commercial!

Stan

Thanks for the listen and thoughtful comments/suggestions Steve C. I rarely post a song that isn't in full production whatever that turns out to be but this one broke my writer's block and I had some questions about the lyric that have been addressed by several and one question that someone else addressed. Anyway, that's why I went ahead with this one. I know the tempo is unsteady on this particular recording and I'm flat on some of the vocal which apparently no one else noticed. Thanks again for your time and thoughful help.

Steve B.

Thanks Dan. Don't know about the production being just guitar and vocal but I appreciate the compliment.

Steve

Hey Rick. Thanks for the listen and suggestions. It's pretty unanimous that I need to change that line. Thanks again.

Steve

Thanks Robert. Glad you like it. Thanks for the enthusiastic thumbs up on this one. Makes my day.

Steve

Hi Steve,

Very nice song. Well produced and the lyrics just grab your attention. I was just a little bit confused in verse 2 when you wrote 'she was only 16' and so forth but now after reading some posts I have a better understanding now.

Hey Stan. Thanks for the suggestion on the second verse. A re-write is definitely in the works for that and a couple other lines.

Steve

Thanks Pete. Glad you liked the song. Apparently it needs some tweaking on the lyric though.

Steve

Well done, Stevie! Love the message in this and the idea is unique to the 'blues'. The chord progression fits the lyrics nicely and seems to sing easily. Great song!

-Dave

Thanks so much Glyn for your glowing review, lol.

Steve

Thanks Joice. Glad it worked for you.

Steve

Great idea. A title that will surely make people want to take a listen.

Thanks for the comments and for listening Kristi.

Steve

Nice job, Stevie! Really loved the message in this as well as the melody. I this is one of your best.

Bill, I really appreciate your putting so much time and thought in your reply. The pronoun issue is definitely something to think about in the re-write. Thank you so much.

Steve

Thanks Stan. It means a lot coming from you as I consider you one of the better writer/performers on the site.

Steve

Thanks Darin.

Thankee Mr. Dave. I guess the only thing musically bluesy about it is the 7th chords where it goes Jesus got the blues, just like me and you. Appreciate the comments.

Steve

Thanks Mike.

Steve

Thanks Polly. I appreciate the Thumbs Up.

Steve

Just wanted to take a second and thank everybody once again for your feedback which will be very valuable to me in a re-write of this song when I do a full production. God bless you all.

Steve