11 members (Fdemetrio, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, JAPOV, bennash, couchgrouch, Bill Draper, 3 invisible),
1,219
guests, and
257
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424 |
Here's a song that I'm currently re-working. I wrote this piece in 1999 and recorded a rough demo at the time, but I have been trying to re-arrange it recently with a view to recording it properly in the near future. I would therefore be very grateful for any feedback, suggestions, advice, tips, etc, that fellow JPF forum members can offer. The sketch recording here, made in 1999, was originally intended simply to demonstrate the song to members of the band that I was playing in at the time. I did the vocals and played all of the instruments. I am aware, by the way, of the mispronunciation of the term 'feng shui' in this recording and, since it was made, the last line of the third verse has been amended to ensure a closer, albeit not exact, rhyme with the correct pronunciation. She BelievesShe believes in astral projection Wears a lucky charm for protection She's convinced the government's talking to aliens Who abducted her sister for strange experimentsChorus: She believes ... but this time it's true She believes ... but this time it's true She believes ... but this time it's true She believes ... she believes in you
Always checks the horoscopes to follow the stars Plans her whole life around Jupiter and Mars She's sure that crystals have the power to heal Yeah, she's got lots of crazy ideas, but this one's for realRepeat chorus She knows there's evidence for reincarnation And can recommend a herbal cure for any situation Her furniture's arranged to conform with feng shui She's got tarot cards and ouija boards, thinks she can foresee and ...Repeat chorus She believes in you This time it's true She believes in you This time it's true She believes in you http://soundcloud.com/stevecooke/she-believes
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910 |
Steve, I love your work, this is soooo good. My gosh the background vocals so compliment your fine voice ... AWESOME JOB
no nits from me ... push this one for sure ... should be on the radio
Got that R+B sound that I love
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424 |
Thanks Dan. I did the backing vox myself. I'm not absolutely confident that I could reach those high notes again now, a decade later. Still, there are probably a few studio tricks I could use now to emulate female voices that I didn't have available to me when I made this recording.
The new arrangement I'm working on is, hopefully, a bit funkier and will do more to build the song as it progresses.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895
Top 40 Poster
|
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,895 |
Hi Steve,
Very cool vibe from this. I don't know what your plans are for a "funkier" version but this one is awesome. The only thing I wondered about was if you gave any thought to making it more personal by saying something like this,
"She believes ... but this time it's real She believes ... she believes in me"
Just a thought. Very cool music as well.
Ricki
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
Hey Steve. Great work. No nits from me. The backing vox worked out really well.
Steve B.
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424 |
Very cool vibe from this. I don't know what your plans are for a "funkier" version but this one is awesome. The only thing I wondered about was if you gave any thought to making it more personal by saying something like this,
"She believes ... but this time it's real She believes ... she believes in me" Thanks Ricki. The new arrangement is trying to make the Rhodes piano playing a bit spikier rather than the lazy feel of the original demo version. I'm going to give the bass line more variety of rhymic timing, hopefully without losing the groove. I'm also looking to see what can be done make the middle-eight more interesting. At the moment, the song uses the same three-chord sequence throughout - verse, chorus, mid8, outro - but I've found that a bit of playing around with those chords could make the middle section less 'samey'. A bit of funky, albiet gentle, rhythm guitar is being added too. The Rhodes/voice-only first verse feels too sparse at the moment, so I will try to introduce some other element by the third line. There's a new drum loop that I'm experimenting with too. I also have the opportunity to use some more contemporary sounds on the gear I have now. About making it more personal in the way you mention, I think it's an interesting idea but I feel that I prefer this one to be slightly more distant than that, more observational But I may experiment with your suggestion to see how it works out.
Last edited by Steve Cooke; 04/25/10 07:27 PM.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424 |
Hey Steve. Great work. No nits from me. The backing vox worked out really well. Thanks for listening, Stevie.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,429
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,429 |
Great sounding song Steve. Love the chorus and outro. The only thing that caught my ears was some phrasing in the first two verses. I'm sure it will all be worked out on the new version.
Loved it.
Rick
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 762
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 762 |
Hell;o.. Steve:.. This Particular Piece''She Believes 1999..seems to be more like a ''Smooth Jazz Piece..maybe back in 1999 it could have been maybe a''Pop /R@b..with jazzy overtones,,,This 1999 version was okay,,it appears to be moving a lil slow...as far as rhythm..I;m looking forward to hearing an''up dated version For This Piece..By The Way you have lovely pipes..so Are you going to sing the funkier version See you in a few;o nice talking to ya..;o Shirl;o
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 411
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 411 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424 |
Not sure I'm diggin', or believin', every but in the chorus. Either she believes the verses are true, as well, or she's quite possib'ly schizophrenic. Not a bad thing, but, in this situation (considering her unstable mental condition), the chorus sounds more like a warning than a sentimental observation. Maybe that's what makes things quirky. In a Sting I'll Be Watching You kind of way? Other than that - or precisely that - she sounds kinda awesome, Steve, as does your song Thanks Randy. Interesting comment. I hadn't thought of the character in the song as being mentally unstable before - except perhaps the line about alien abduction, which was probably me pushing the strange beliefs thing a bit too far. Although the meter is awkward at that point in the song, I felt that line gave the lyric something a little different, an unusual element that might make the listener take notice and want to find out what the song was about. That line aside, the character is just meant to be one of those people who goes in for the whole 'new age' package - healing crystals, joss sticks, pyramid power, astrology, herbal medicine, etc. It isn't based on a specific individual, but more a combination of characters and personal traits I've encountered over the years.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,998 |
Steve....love the music....the singing isn't matchin' up well with the music...I'm not sure why that is bothering me.....maybe there needs to be more attitude by the singer....lack of conviction?....I hear it at the end of the song....but the singer sounds like he's just going through the motions in the beginning....the vocalist can sing....but it needs more feeling...imho....you do good work....Bob
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424 |
Steve....love the music....the singing isn't matchin' up well with the music...I'm not sure why that is bothering me.....maybe there needs to be more attitude by the singer....lack of conviction?....I hear it at the end of the song....but the singer sounds like he's just going through the motions in the beginning....the vocalist can sing....but it needs more feeling...imho....you do good work....Bob I'm thinking that what I need to do is temporarily shift the busier parts of the arrangement ( ala the more strongly driven beat used at the end) to the beginning of the song, which currently only has a Rhodes piano playing on it. Then I could record myself singing to that more lively accompaniment, which may help me to give the vocal more conviction. A kind of psychological trick on myself, I guess. After doing that, I'd delete all that stuff from the early section, so that the accompaniment is more gentle there, but hopefully I'll be left with a more convincing vocal performance.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 294
Top 500 Poster
|
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 294 |
Hi Steve,
Dude, you got it all covered....the music, the performance, the production...is there anything you don't do?
You got a great groove goin' on this one!
yerz, Ellen
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 79
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 79 |
Wow Steve, I have NO suggestions for improvement - I love it! I couldn't quite put my finger on what it reminded me of - no matter, it's great!
-Mike
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 411
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 411 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
Hi Again, Bro Steve!
"It's a Hit" I said when I heard it a few weeks-back, & I stick to My Opinion as I hear it again this AM.
I'd keep "& all that kind of hooey" after the Feng Shui line...it's a Gem, IMHO.
The Button Ending...nah...I'd like to hear that Soft, Enslaving-Synth-bit (from your Choruses) IN-a-bit then Faded-Out ON the Way Out.
"KUDOS" for a Very Attention-Getting Nice One, Amigo. Good Luck with it! Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug, Stan
PS: The 2 LadyChums I've pitched it to HAVE listened..think Both wanna Pen Their Own for their Next CDs, alas. ("Their Losses"..again, JMO.) I've a 3rd potential prospect to send it to...stay tuned.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424
Serious Contributor
|
OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 424 |
Well, thanks for reviving the thread.
This recording was only intended to demonstrate the song to members of a band I was in at the time.
I definitely need to get on with recording the new version, which will be funkier and more varied in style and dynamics as the song develops. I'm still getting to grips with the recording gear I've got these days, though. Hopefully, I'll finish it off soon.
Thanks for doing the pitching, Stan. I have a version - much rougher technically than this - of the song being sung by a woman if that helps. Just a live band recording in less than ideal circumstances, but I'd be happy to email it to you off-list.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
|
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210 |
I remember this song..either I heard it on the muse or just listened on your soundclick area...but this is groovy!
You are a very talented musician and singer
Kimberly
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,754
Posts1,161,302
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|