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Here's a new recording of an older song. All crits and comments welcome. Thanks!



http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8809177

William

Clouds obscure
A sky that was so sunny
And I'm not sure
Why you keep losing money
I know you're gonna say
That there ain't no other way

William don't you go
William don't you go
William don't you go downtown

Your red rose
Always comes up pretty
But not one grows
Through the sidewalks in the city
I know it's not for me to choose
But I just hate to see you lose

William don't you go
William don't you go
William don't you go downtown

Your dream is real
Your gardens in the valley
Don't make a deal
With the hustlers in the alley
You know they always look so cool
When they're looking for a fool

William don't you go
William don't you go
William don't you go downtown

William don't you go downtown

Copyright 2010 by Mark Kaufman

Pretty song and nice lyric there Mark. By the way, I'm jealous of your Ric Bass. Is that your new baby? You look proud with it. Love my 360/12.

Steve

Hi Mark,

BEAUTIFUL WORK.....really smooth.
Loved what's going on here.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hey Mark:

I know this guy! Wrote a song about him too - but it's not nearly as good as yours....

Love this! It has a bit of the Band feel to it for me - which I always dig. Really cool arrangement too - like the way the strings come in in V2. And the harmonies are very cool...

No nits - feels (nicely) done to me.

Scott

Nice sounding tune. I always look forward to see what you are doing with the multi-vocal thing and you didn't disappoint here. Interesting treatment of this subject. All around pretty good production and delivery. Instruments seemed spot on. I thought it was mighty cool.

Kevin

oh yeah, oh yeah, I had to get my Mark Kaufman fix. You didn't let me down. Love the blend of acoustic guitar and vocal tone.
Harmonies came in well, though the "offshoot" in the chorus took me a bit by surprise.
Smooth, sweet arrangement. I liked the instrumental break too.

I'm satisfied.

Cool Song!

Sorry I'm a late responder...busy weekend!

Thanks Little Stevie. No, this Rickenbacker is my old baby that I bought for $150 in 1988. It's a 1972 with the checkerboard binding! It was used by Tommy Stinson in the Replacements, but when I bought it, it was in horrible shape. I did my best to restore it a few years ago. It's pretty prominent on this track.

Thanks for the listen!

Thanks Calvin!

Thanks Scott! Let's promise not to sue each other, okay? Thanks for the comments.

Thanks Kevin! This was written in about 1987, and I thought it needed a better recording. Appreciate the listen.

The offshoot surprises everyone, and has been doing so for a couple decades now...but it always felt right to me. Thanks Tom!

Yes, it's definitely an odd choice there...but it's one of those choices that always came in loud and clear in my imagination, and I've come to think it gives a uniqueness to a fairly simple song. If I ever pitched this--which I won't...there are enough mellow 4-minute songs in the world, and besides, this is very much a signature song rather than a good vehicle for someone else--I'd probably be told to get rid of the oddball harmony.

Thanks Randy!

Hi Mark,

Really fine lyrically and, of course, musically. I had an awful earworm after the first chorus, Ruby, don't take your love to town. Thankfully, it went away by the end of the song. I listened again just to make sure but it is definitely gone! You are just full of surprises. When are you ever coming back?

Ricki

Could be about me scoring dope, all the delusion seems the same.

Good tune Mark. I must be nowhere near the box I didnt have an issue with the background william....




Paul Gaines

really fine song Mark

the theme of it reminded me of "Billy Dont Lose That Number" done
by-hmm oh hell I forget...old age.........but anyway you conveyed the pain and sorrow of those who suffer along with the addicted.........

good job!


Tom

I liked the nod to Spanish Harlem in the red rose line. I liked the base part in the lead.

Hi Mark

I remember the earlier take you had posted and love how you are upgrading --- I can tell that you are really doing some fine vocal work -- it shows here !

if I may suggest --- to take the harmony vocal ---- (only the unison phrases, I think) ---- down a couple of dbs --- just so that your lead voc really stays on top - is what I'm hearing it should be.........

but I love your singing on this. : ) nice job ! jm

This is absolutely GORGEOUS! I melted as I listened. On my second listen now. I actually feel guilty getting to hear a talent like you without paying! The violin was really nice! The vox absolutely stellar. Beautiful melody. Love how every instrument gets its turn to "shine". I've always noticed your basswork, like how you slide up the string...and bring it up in the mix, then take it back down. Always a great treat to hear a tune of yours.

Like Tom, had to get my Kaufman fix, now i'm feeling better..this is great I love your voice and your other voice too..listened several times....glyn

Mark,

Beautifully written and performed! A Kaufmann tune is like a Kaufmann pizza...the finest ingredients with the perfect toppings. Sweet!

Alan

Mark....nice one....real "pro" job on this.....as always a good listen....your vocal is always so good....Bob

Mark,

This is pretty awesome. Great production, harmonies, acoustic guitars, bass, etc. Not sure if you are playing a 12 string or are doubling some of the lines but it sounds great.

The meaning of some of the lyrics escaped me but maybe that's what you intended. I do think that the simplicity of the first verse might benefit from a bit of the complexity that comes in at the chorus (50 seconds or so)......just to draw people in earlier.

Great job.

Absolutely fantastic Mark. The songwriting is perfect on this IMO. The deliberate succinct rhymes are magical IMO. This is just a great piece of songwriting IMO. See if you can get it into folkalley.com . This is pro IMO. All the best with this.

Peace,

Ian

absolutely Beautiful wow
have no other words except more

this is beautiful my gosh

I am so behind in responses...I've been crosstraining into another position and lately have either been popping in for a quickie or else home so late that I'm too tired to think properly. I'll definitely get back to you, and thanks for all the very supportive responses. This song is like an old friend...don't know where it came from, don't know where it's going. I've never heard of folk alley, so thanks for the tip, Jack Nicholson!

Mark:

Loved it. Totally.

It's nice to see how over the years your production skills have grown to match your songwriting and performing skills. This is just really freakin' good.

Mark

Mark,

nice tune. great vocals and acoustic. i like sounds you get. the first strum made me think of one of your other songs (el dorado i think) and the intro made me think of "wild horses" -- stones not boyle version -- but then it goes in it's own direction.

the only comment for production improvement is that I think you have a pretty interesting bass line in there somewhere but I can't hear it very well.

..ant