JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 You're Now A Splinter (In My Heart) RE-Write!!

Having fun and enjoying making my Muse work for her money. Here is number 2 and 3 will follow.

Took Stans suggestions, love it when a plan comes together, and posted it. (The original is below) Thanks again Stan.

FAWM You’re Now A Splinter (In My Heart)
(02.02.10)

(V)
Pulled up in my pickup truck, should have read the signs
Thought we’d drive to Dip and Dive, our favourite place to dine.
All the way you bitched at me ‘bout this, that and the rain.
You’re now a splinter in my heart. A royal, regal pain.

(Chorus)
You’re now a splinter in my heart.
Can feel ya festerin’ inside.
Feel ya digging deeper like a burr under my hide.

Once thought you’d be the girl for me,
that I‘d always be your guy.
You’re now a splinter in my heart.
I’ll dig it out and say bye-bye.

(V)
To the music of the bug zappers we ate our greasy fries.
Sipped our colas separately, as hungry moths dropped by.
Among the local chatter you kept up your attack.
You’re now a splinter in my heart, a real pain in my back. (Chorus)

(V)
In between each chew you talked, chewing your food and my ear.
Should have flung the cola, then gone out and bought a beer.
Guessed you were not happy; Never knew the reasons why.
You’re now a splinter in my heart, doubt that I’ll digest this pie. (Chorus)

(Tag)
You’re now a splinter in my heart
but no more a big thorn in my side.

Copyright © 2010 by Douglas Murphy


You’re Now A Splinter (In My Heart)
(02.02.10)

(V)
Pulled up in my pickup truck, should have read the signs
Thought we’d drive to Dip and Dive, our favourite place to dine.
All the way you bitched at me ‘bout this, that and the rain.
You’re now a splinter in my heart. A royal, regal pain.

(Chorus)
You’re now a splinter in my heart.
Can feel ya festerin’ inside.
Feel ya digging deeper that I can’t deny

Once thought you’d be the girl for me,
that I‘d always be your guy.
You’re now a splinter in my heart.
I’ll dig it out and say bye-bye.

(V)
To the music of the bug zapper we ate our greasy fries.
Sipped our colas separately, watched large moths flying by.
Among the local chatter you kept up your attack.
You’re now a splinter in my heart, a real pain in my back. (Chorus)

(V)
In between each chew you talked chewing your food and my ear.
Should have dropped the cola and bought myself a beer.
Could see you were not happy but could not guess your reasons why?
You’re now a splinter in my heart, think I’ll go and get my pie. (Chorus)

(Tag)
You’re now a splinter in my heart
and I’m still wonderin’ why?

Copyright © 2010 by Douglas Murphy

Cool write, Doug. Nice. Might want to reword v3 line 1, but otherwise pretty tight.

JD

Howdy Mr. Doug dude, Gus here. So where have you been hiding all
the tunes like this one??? LOL . This is a new side of you,
that I dont remember showing, Or maybe I just wasn't seeing it.
Anyway, grab hold of the approach you used in kicking this one
out the door, & dont you let it go.....thanks for sharing

By the way, JD is right on track about V1L3....Gus

I commented on FAWM, but just wanted to say - I really like this!

Thanks JD.

Well thank you Gus now if only I could get me Muse to latch on to what you have said. Usually she just comes up with an idea and we take it from there. (And honestly I do not know what or how I done it.)

Doug

Thank you very much HB. I appreciate the comment and vote of confidence.

Doug

Excellent write, Doug! The imagery is top shelf and is paramount in making a good story all the better. Two thumbs up!

-Dave

Good Eve, CanadaBro!

This is Good Clean Fun...& of course I gotta Mess Wit It some...here we gooooo....

CH Line Sug: "'Feel ya diggin'-deeper, like a burr..under my hide"

V2: "To the music of Bug ZapperS..we ate our greasy fries/
"Sipped our colas separately, as HUNGRY moths DROPPED-By"

V3: Between filets you talked, chewing your fish, also my ear/
'Should have FLUNG the cola, then GONE-OUT & BOUGHT a beer/
'GUESSED You were not happy; Never knew the reasons-why/
You're now a Splinter in My Heart..DOUBT THAT I'll DIGEST This Pie"

TAG: "You're now a Splinter In My Heart/
But NO-MORE..A BIG THORN IN...MY SIDE!!!"

KOS & Good Luck with a Fun, Fine Guy's Attitude Song!
Best Wishes & a Big Bro-Hug,
Stan

Thank you very much Drifter. Happy you liked it and glad you dropped in.

Doug

I like em Stan and I am gojn g to keep them ifin ya don't mind?

Thanks for stopping in.

Doug

Howdy Doug, I love "festering", such a cool word, a whole story
in one word, Just the way my sick mind works

Yeah, good images and well written Doug...some food in cheek humour

I too had a bit of a stumble over V3L1, but perhaps your head tune's got it covered..

One nit about the moths..they go for the light, so they'll not bother you at all unless you have at least a 40 watter on your plate ...good image though.

Thanks for the vote O confidence Steven.

Hi John. Thanks for stopping by. I will try to get this one up soon on the MP3.

Doug