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ok new one that's been running thru my wee mind, is for sure a work Still in process....thanks glyn
He Is A Man-This Is A Bar
An older handsome cowboy a darn good looker in his prime she see's him coming closer steppin' to the music, every step in time with a low soft sexy drawl he mumbles "Darlin' you're a beautiful site to see I said to myself sittin' cross this room" It would be my honor to take your hand nite's gettin' late, i'll be leavin' soon Fore' I leave, may I have one dance with you
Can't blame em' for what he says or does he'd cause no one, no harm if he was to find a lady friend to love the night away he'd take her home, for ole' times sake after all....
He is a man, this is a bar
Hard times of life has taken it's toll on him his years are gettin slim these smoke filled rooms and the dark give him red blood stained eyes at times it's hard for him to walk without holding onto chairs or find someone who cares He'd warm up to some sweet young thing in his younger days take her home to pass his nites away
Can't blame em' for what he says or does he'd cause no one, no harm if he was to find a lady friend to love the night away he'd take her home for ole' times sake after all...
He is a man, this is a bar
He comes in here every night about half past eight from the oil fields just outside of town looking for some friendly talk or a lost love he finds in a drink he tries to drown too many loves and broken hearts now find him all alone Has his drinks, a dance or two goes quitely oh his way home when the morning comes, he'll go to work end up here again to ease his hurt
Cant' blame em' for what he says or does he'd cause no one , no harm if he was to find a lady friend to love the night away he'd take her home for ole' times sake after all....
He is a man, this is a bar
HE IS A MAN, THIS IS A BAR YEAH HE IS A MAN, THIS IS A BAR
written by: glyn
Last edited by glynda; 01/05/10 07:39 AM.
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Hi, Glyn, I was a bit surprised at how much I felt for the man in the song. From the title, I thought it would be a humorous song about guys all being the same in bars, picking up girls, etc. ("I'm Still a Guy," by Brad Paisley echoed in my head for some reason). The song seems a bit long, and you mention the oil fields twice, so maybe you could edit that. In your second draft are you planning to even up the line lengths or add more rhyme? I like this because it is a bar song with more character depth than usual. Cheers! Pam
a portfolio of my other writing is at: pambowen.wordpress.com
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Glyn, I think you've got something here. I feel for this guy, too--and it's very clear and poignant imagery. I don't know about the "too long," but you might try to see if it can be "punched up" and made shorter without sacrificing the poignancy. I think that'd be possible. If not, it's okay--you could still keep it under five minutes by leaving out a lead break. But it'd be nice to be able to record a lead in this. Nice stuff.
Joe
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Pam, and yes i'm gonna even this all out and do some changes, but this is what came to me for the song,, and this one I wrote in about 10 minutes..just flowed out like the song was telling me the story...will be working on it...just my thoughts so far on it..and thanks for your kind words and i'm glad you feel for this guy, that was my intentions...thanks again glyn
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Hi Joe,
Well sir, thank you and i've left you a pm on this very song....glyn
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Good one! Not all men are pigs POV. Refreshing to see it from a guy's POV who is just a nice, lonely guy, trying to find some lady company while he still has it in him...not some cocky manwh@re looking for the drunkest, loosest woman to use for the night.
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Thanks polly, and just like this one for some reason, gotta love him...glyn
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GLYN--CONSIDER MY TAKE: USE ANY OR ALL I’m 71--The song is ME!
HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR V1 He was a handsome cowboy A head turner in his prime I remember when we danced He stepped out in perfect time In a soft sexy drawl, “you feel good” I told him,” I’d be leaving soon” I had really enjoyed his easy style Later on if they played a waltzing thing I’d be honored again if he asked me to I'd circle the floor once more with him. CH No one blamed him for what he did He was just a ladies man, no harm He’d pick and choose a new friend Who liked his manner holding his arm One to love the night away, after all HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR V2 The oil field work took it’s toll on him Nights on the floor he tried to smile He wore shades to hide the years And tear stained road mapped eyes With a shuffing gait he held to chairs He still looked for someone to care He’d warm up to me now and then Later on if they played a waltzing thing I’d be honored again if he asked me to I'd circle the floor once more with him. CH2 No one blamed him for what he did He was just a ladies man, no harm He’d pick and choose a new friend Who liked his manner holding his arm One to love the night away, after all HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR BR Now he comes early and leaves by nine He just talks about all the good times Has a few drinks to ease the pain Tomorrow he’ll he back to work again CH3 No one blames him for what he does He is just a ladies man, no harm He picks and chooses a new friend Who likes his grace, reflecting charm One to talk the night away, after all HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR TAG HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR..............
Mackie
Last edited by MJH; 01/05/10 04:42 AM.
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Man, you do seem like this guy..thanks for reveiwing this for me and i'll look over it and see what comes up..thanks glyn
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Howdy Sister G, This has a lot of potencial, I'll keep an eye on it, see if sumthin' pops into the noggin. I'll stop back over & let you know.............gus
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thanks Gus, look forward to it..glyn
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this is a great song concept and a good write. I love the detail! Rock on, Glyn JD
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why thank you JD I do appreciate this alot..glyn
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bump in hopes to get this one finished
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I ain't forgot you, Glyn. I think I'm ready.
Joe
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like this one don't want it to get lost just yet.thanks glyn
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I apologize for not offering more detailed comments, but I find it difficult to sense the specifics of lyrics without music - but here is what I can offer:
The first thing is the title - It is very good. It made me interested. I think that the story has a fresh perspective. One can emphasize with this guy. You get a good sense of him.
Tom
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Hi Tom, sorry it took me so long to get back, but i'm just now checkin up on some of my ole lyrics and i'd like to get this one finished...I really like this one...thanks Tom
glyn
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HiDee Mz G!
Sorry I never commented on this one...it has LOTS of Potential/I wasn't expecting the DEPTH of Character ya put into this guy..FROM the Title I'd read before. I've SEEN this guy..in Dallas...a few times..he's as Real as All Get Out!
I'd sug "No problem with what he says or does" since "'Em" is kinda-vague..& I think ya meant "him" insteada "them"?
"Life's hard times have taken their toll on him" (This whole Verse has QUITE a diffo Rhyme Pattern than V1. Prolly shouldn't/JMO.) (OR..maybe label this "BRIDGE"?)
V3, try "Has his BOOZE, a dance or two" & you'll avoid using "drinks" too-often/get an intraline-rhymne there too.
This is gonna be a Nice One when-completed, & KOS + Advance "KUDOS" for the Finished Product, M'LadyChum (& BroJoe, too?..ya Lucky Lady!~)
Best Wishes & Big Hugs, Stan
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