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#784026 01/03/10 01:56 PM
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glynda Offline OP
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ok new one that's been running thru my wee mind, is for sure a work Still in process....thanks glyn

He Is A Man-This Is A Bar

An older handsome cowboy
a darn good looker in his prime
she see's him coming closer
steppin' to the music, every step in time
with a low soft sexy drawl he mumbles
"Darlin' you're a beautiful site to see
I said to myself sittin' cross this room"
It would be my honor to take your hand
nite's gettin' late, i'll be leavin' soon
Fore' I leave, may I have one dance with you

Can't blame em' for what he says or does
he'd cause no one, no harm
if he was to find a lady friend
to love the night away
he'd take her home, for ole' times sake
after all....

He is a man, this is a bar

Hard times of life has taken it's toll on him
his years are gettin slim
these smoke filled rooms and the dark
give him red blood stained eyes
at times it's hard for him to walk
without holding onto chairs
or find someone who cares
He'd warm up to some sweet young thing
in his younger days
take her home to pass his nites away


Can't blame em' for what he says or does
he'd cause no one, no harm
if he was to find a lady friend
to love the night away
he'd take her home for ole' times sake
after all...

He is a man, this is a bar

He comes in here every night about half past eight
from the oil fields just outside of town
looking for some friendly talk or a lost love
he finds in a drink he tries to drown
too many loves and broken hearts
now find him all alone
Has his drinks, a dance or two
goes quitely oh his way home
when the morning comes, he'll go to work
end up here again to ease his hurt

Cant' blame em' for what he says or does
he'd cause no one , no harm
if he was to find a lady friend
to love the night away
he'd take her home for ole' times sake
after all....

He is a man, this is a bar

HE IS A MAN, THIS IS A BAR
YEAH HE IS A MAN, THIS IS A BAR

written by: glyn

Last edited by glynda; 01/05/10 07:39 AM.
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Hi, Glyn,
I was a bit surprised at how much I felt for the man in the song. From the title, I thought it would be a humorous song about guys all being the same in bars, picking up girls, etc. ("I'm Still a Guy," by Brad Paisley echoed in my head for some reason). The song seems a bit long, and you mention the oil fields twice, so maybe you could edit that. In your second draft are you planning to even up the line lengths or add more rhyme? I like this because it is a bar song with more character depth than usual.
Cheers!
Pam


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Glyn, I think you've got something here. I feel for this guy, too--and it's very clear and poignant imagery. I don't know about the "too long," but you might try to see if it can be "punched up" and made shorter without sacrificing the poignancy. I think that'd be possible. If not, it's okay--you could still keep it under five minutes by leaving out a lead break. But it'd be nice to be able to record a lead in this. Nice stuff.

Joe

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glynda Offline OP
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Pam, and yes i'm gonna even this all out and do some changes, but this is what came to me for the song,, and this one I wrote in about 10 minutes..just flowed out like the song was telling me the story...will be working on it...just my thoughts so far on it..and thanks for your kind words and i'm glad you feel for this guy, that was my intentions...thanks again glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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Hi Joe,

Well sir, thank you and i've left you a pm on this very song....glyn

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Good one! Not all men are pigs POV. smile Refreshing to see it from a guy's POV who is just a nice, lonely guy, trying to find some lady company while he still has it in him...not some cocky manwh@re looking for the drunkest, loosest woman to use for the night. smile


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glynda Offline OP
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Thanks polly, and just like this one for some reason, gotta love him...glyn

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GLYN--CONSIDER MY TAKE: USE ANY OR ALL
I’m 71--The song is ME!

HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR
V1
He was a handsome cowboy
A head turner in his prime
I remember when we danced
He stepped out in perfect time
In a soft sexy drawl, “you feel good”
I told him,” I’d be leaving soon”
I had really enjoyed his easy style
Later on if they played a waltzing thing
I’d be honored again if he asked me to
I'd circle the floor once more with him.
CH
No one blamed him for what he did
He was just a ladies man, no harm
He’d pick and choose a new friend
Who liked his manner holding his arm
One to love the night away, after all
HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR
V2
The oil field work took it’s toll on him
Nights on the floor he tried to smile
He wore shades to hide the years
And tear stained road mapped eyes
With a shuffing gait he held to chairs
He still looked for someone to care
He’d warm up to me now and then
Later on if they played a waltzing thing
I’d be honored again if he asked me to
I'd circle the floor once more with him.
CH2
No one blamed him for what he did
He was just a ladies man, no harm
He’d pick and choose a new friend
Who liked his manner holding his arm
One to love the night away, after all
HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR
BR
Now he comes early and leaves by nine
He just talks about all the good times
Has a few drinks to ease the pain
Tomorrow he’ll he back to work again
CH3
No one blames him for what he does
He is just a ladies man, no harm
He picks and chooses a new friend
Who likes his grace, reflecting charm
One to talk the night away, after all
HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR
TAG
HE’S THE COWBOY IN THIS BAR..............

Mackie

Last edited by MJH; 01/05/10 04:42 AM.
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glynda Offline OP
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Man, you do seem like this guy..thanks for reveiwing this for me and i'll look over it and see what comes up..thanks glyn

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Howdy Sister G, This has a lot of potencial, I'll keep an eye on
it, see if sumthin' pops into the noggin. I'll stop back over
& let you know.............gus


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glynda Offline OP
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thanks Gus, look forward to it..glyn

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this is a great song concept and a good write. I love the detail!
Rock on, Glyn
JD


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glynda Offline OP
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why thank you JD I do appreciate this alot..glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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bump in hopes to get this one finished

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glynda Offline OP
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bump one more time

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I ain't forgot you, Glyn. I think I'm ready.

Joe

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glynda Offline OP
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oh ok thanks..glyn

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glynda Offline OP
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like this one don't want it to get lost just yet.thanks glyn

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I apologize for not offering more detailed comments, but I find it difficult to sense the specifics of lyrics without music - but here is what I can offer:

The first thing is the title - It is very good. It made me interested. I think that the story has a fresh perspective. One can emphasize with this guy. You get a good sense of him.

Tom


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glynda Offline OP
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Hi Tom, sorry it took me so long to get back, but i'm just now checkin up on some of my ole lyrics and i'd like to get this one finished...I really like this one...thanks Tom


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HiDee Mz G!

Sorry I never commented on this one...it has LOTS of Potential/I wasn't expecting the DEPTH of Character ya put into this guy..FROM the Title I'd read before. I've SEEN this guy..in Dallas...a few times..he's as Real as All Get Out!

I'd sug "No problem with what he says or does" since "'Em" is kinda-vague..& I think ya meant "him" insteada "them"?

"Life's hard times have taken their toll on him"
(This whole Verse has QUITE a diffo Rhyme Pattern than V1. Prolly shouldn't/JMO.) (OR..maybe label this "BRIDGE"?)

V3, try "Has his BOOZE, a dance or two" & you'll avoid using "drinks" too-often/get an intraline-rhymne there too.

This is gonna be a Nice One when-completed, & KOS + Advance "KUDOS" for the Finished Product, M'LadyChum (& BroJoe, too?..ya Lucky Lady!~)

Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Stan


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