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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706 |
Howdy folks, Gus here. this is still very free form. working on structure etc. different destination for this one
PLEASE SEE LATEST LYRIC REVISION IN POST NEAR END, THANK YOU
These were composed to accompany this accoustical guitar piece
with a flaminco flavor. Please give it a listen..
................THANKS.........Gus
NOW WITH ACCOUSTIC INSTRUMENTAL, PLEASE LISTEN
sorry the link is down at this time
This is an attempt to tighten up these lyrics,
are they better, or worse??...please be Brutal, I can take it
Please let me know.......Thanks.......Gus
PANTHER LYRICS:Copyright©:2009: Steven August Rieck
ACCOUSTIC INSTRUMENTAL:Copyright(c):2009:Georg Cocron
V1
Submerged in black night
Lost deep in the shadow
Catching all scent
Drifts in like powder
V2
Pinpoints each sound
Wild eyes pick apart
Still as a statue
All shades of dark
V3
Fraction of movement
Focused in on
Waits for the strike
In the dusk of dawn
CHORUS
FOOTSTEPS SO SLOW
SOFT AS A WHISPER
CREEPING THRU TREES
SENSING WITH WHISKERS
V4
Wily & cunning
Quietly wild
Combing Savannas
Like a wandering child
V5
Detecting fresh blood
Of the wounded prey
Instincts grab hold
Claws overtake
Last edited by Steven August Rieck; 12/29/09 07:47 AM.
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Post deleted by Steven August Rieck
Last edited by Steven August Rieck; 11/11/09 10:45 PM.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941 Likes: 3
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,941 Likes: 3 |
Gus,
Sounds like it is going to be a cool song. The backing tracks seems to fit the lyrics very well, although I don't know if there are any panthers in Spain. They have mountains, though, so at least at one time if their history they probably had mountain lions of some sort (or sabre tooth tigers!).
Kevin
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Howdy Kevin, I don't know about historical accuracy, but I loved
this piece of music from the start. The composer gave me the title
& the instrumental inspired the rest, Janice also gave me some great help, but didn't want a co-write?? I'm thinking of a combination of spoken word, & ????....Thanks again...Gus
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
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Hi Gus It is always very difficult adding lyrics to an obvious instrumental piece with so much inspirational ad hoc solo work running through it. I wish you luck. I would suggest that the music would have to be altered to be a bit more complimentary and away from the freeflow uformatted style in order to make the lyrics sound as if they are a proper part of the music rather than something added in at a later stage..
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
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Hi Gus. It works well with the stellar guitar playing as an instrumental. I'd have to hear it with a vocal to give any real feedback. Sorry I can't help on that front.
Steve
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
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The guitar work is amazing, the melody is super, I would have to hear the words also to see how they would fit but this is one fine piece of writing ... Gosh it is so pretty as an instrumental I am not sure I would add lyrics ... it is beautiful as is my friend
Dan
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Post deleted by Steven August Rieck
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Hi Gus I would need to hear a melody first before I could discuss how the lyrics can be tightened up. They are pretty minimalistic...that either can be a good or a bad thing depending on how they are sung and fit the music. Normally lyrics have to follow a pattern, rhythm and meter and often have a rhyme and a hook...these words do not seem to follow any hard and fast structure. Finding a structure to suit the music....That is more important than tidying up random words.
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Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
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Hello,
Georg here. Thx for the comments!
Yes this piece was written primarily as a kind of jazz/rock guitar solo/duet. However, I could see an avant-garde lyrical overdub on it. I dunno. might be cool....
what do you think?
cheers,
gc
Georg
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Gus, I love the lyric and musication, but I agree with Jim, I'd have to hear the melody that's in your mind. Good luck with this, it's beautiful! 
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Top 200 Poster
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Hi Gus, just stopped by to listen I`ve always had interest in flaminco guitar..it always sounds dangerous" fits the badman,
or something dangerous in the works..good music. your very good at that style. Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction,
one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Howdy georg, avant garde it is, spoken word, with ???
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Hi Gus, This is an awesome instrumental. I really can't hear lyrics over it, there's already so much going on. It's not what I would consider background or accompaniment music. I'd write some music to go with the feel of your lyrics and leave this alone. Not sure about panthers in Spain, but I don't think there are savannas either. P.S. You mention HER wounded prey, and then rhythm of HIS breathing. Is this a hunting pair? Ricki
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Joined: Oct 2009
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Howdy Jim, thanks for all you input, I do see the difficulty of
the task ahead of me..........TTYS......Gus
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Howdy Polly , Gus here. Thanks for the listen, working on extracting the melody.....PLease check back
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Post deleted by Steven August Rieck
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Howdy Lane, Yes Georg is hot on the strings, glad it brought out
the Badman for you. The lyrics will re-enforce that more, "Dangerous" side of this piece
if we can get them right, please come back when we get that far
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Joined: Nov 2007
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Top 200 Poster
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I enjoyed the guitar work. I'd have to hear the lyrics added to comment - I couldn't imagine it. Maybe that William Blake poem might givesome inspiration?
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
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The music to this is very cool. I know I'm not up to the challenge of adding words to this, so all I can say is good luck. Reading over what you had, it seemed to work..maybe partly sung/partly spoken word.
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Howdy Pete, i'm glad you stopped over, & enjoyed the guitar
this is an adventure to be sure, but i can only try while i learn
.....................Thanks again..........Gus
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Joined: Oct 2009
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Helping Hand
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Helping Hand
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Hey shooter, Here is the panther post
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