JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 "I WISH JESUS HAD A WEBSITE"

{Wuz listening to "The Pink Hotel" at Robert Earl Keen's site yesterday, thanks to Kind Bro John Hoffman, yesterday...& there was a Line in one of the GREAT Songs there that inspired this'n. So, THANKS Johnny & Robert, & Season's Best to Ya All!}

I WISH JESUS HAD A WEBSITE
So We Could End This Whole-Mess
All This Fightin' & A-Squabblin'
'Be No More REASON to Second-Guess

"What's The Scoop On 'Snake-Handlin'?"
"How About..'Polygamous'?"
We Could Finally GET The ANSWERS
Insteada OPINIONS "We Should TRUST!"


I WISH JESUS HAD A WEBSITE
I Bet We'd ALL Be "Born-Again"
There Would Be No ROOM For Doubters
(He'd Email-BACK & We'd all Say "AMEN!")

You Could Ask Him EVERY Question
"Why ARE We Here" "What Is The TRUTH?"
I WISH JESUS HAD A WEBSITE
(& His Blog on FACEBOOK would Be Proof!)

(BRIDGE, Improveable:)
I'm So Tired of TV Evangelists..Sellin' Their Holy Oil...
So God, You Got The ULTIMATE DOMAINE NAME:
We Need "HEAVEN-Dot-Com"..Down-Here ON Our SOIL~

I WISH JESUS HAD A WEBSITE
Can You IMAGINE "Christmas Time?"
He'd Get That "Birthday Thing" Straightened-Out
(There'd Be NO "Black Friday" Lines...)

& We'd Probably HAVE "Peace On Earth"
For The First Time In Our LIVES
AND A Silent-&-Holy Night!
IF JESUS HAD A WEBSITE!

(TAG)
Yeah,I Predict Everything'd-Go-RIGHT
IF..JESUS HAD A WEBSITE~

(C) 2009 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

TampaMan, You never stop kickin' them out the door do you? and
they are always a joy to see where you're off to next.
.....thanks for sharing...............Gus

Jesus does have a direct line, it's called prayer and the line has never shut down, never crashes, always open

Cute song, Stan the man. I especially like the bridge.

Cute song, Stan!

Stan The Man--

Treat Jesus with TLC--He is not digital--Mostly ANALOG I would think--Some think
he could get Digital about 2012. JPF may go off the air, so to speak--You would have a direct connection. There is always the avenue of PRAYER. If he had a WEB SITE, HE would have Spam and Worm angels on duty 24/7 (Rhymes with Heaven). A Jesus iphone wouldn't be a bad thing to have. If you believed, there would be no monthly fee.

GOODIN" 'Bro!

Mackie

G'Mornin' Bro Gus!

Yeah, I get these little Inspirations & it's Off on Another Challenge..in words & thought!

Just Add Music!

Thanks for Your Kind Words'n'Visit, Amigo, they're Always Appreciated!

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

So Many a Folk Says...Bro Gary!

I'm not here to argue that...I've MET The Foxhole God on a Personal Basis. (Definitely a "Special Occasion".)

But there are SO Many "Intermediaries" here on Earth..& it would be nice to have a direct, 2-Way-Chat, face-to-face, in Everyday English..(Or whatever Language you use)..EVERY day.

SINCE I've just felt a warm surge go over my heart AS I penned that line, I mean it for EVERYONE who DOESN'T hear the Other Half of That Conversation.

Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Reassuring Words, Amigo!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Stan

Im back!!!!

If jesus had a website it will be the most profitable sites and can overcome the overall income of Google and Yahoo.

Merry Christmas 6 days to go!!!!

Just watch the movie Avatar its good 3 hour of non stop action with so many things to explore and you can help yourself to be a part of the movie.

Lynman

G'Mornin' Mz Betty!

I allus dread tuning-in to one of those shows..(& I counted about EIGHT of 'em on at the Same Time...as I scanned all 65 or so of our Cable Channels the other evening.) Big Business & Big Bucks.

NOT exactly what "Jesus-Had-In-Mind"...methinks.

BUT..IF ya could just dial-him-UP...that'd take care of ALL those Charlatans that are Out There....INSTANTLY!

When I was an Unquestioning Kid, it was SO easy to be a Believer.
Now that I'm near-elderly, it's TOO easy to be a Skeptic.

But at least I'm pretty sure of What I Believe.

Many Thanks for Your Very Kind Visit, M'LadyChum!
Best Wishes & Big Hugs Backatcha,
Stan

G'Mornin' Mz Vicky!

Just Funnin' With The Fundamentalists a Wee-Bit.

Saw a recent TV program on the life of Mary Magdalene the other day. She was the first to notice Jesus had risen from his tomb. One of the Discarded Gospels.."Philipe" I believe..had LOTS more detail about her "discovery" here...& her Relationship with Jesus..including his kissing her on the lips/& NORMALLY a Jew of His Age woulda been MARRIED to someone..at that point of his life.

But..the Roman Catholic "Powers That Be" did a LOT of editing..& she's ended up a VERY Minor Figure...in Today's Bible.

So..again..I WISH we could get to the Source of All The Confusion...eliminate all the Centuries of "Filters"...and clear up a LOT of the "Man-Made Mystery" that's occurred over the last 2000+ years. "Seek and ye shall find" isn't JUST another slogan.
Archaeology IS coming up WITH some "Finds"..

Waal..back to CurmudgeonLand!
Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Words, M'LadyChum!
Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Stan

HiDee Bro Mackie, & I'm glad t'see ya got In The Spirit of the Piece.

I totally agree on the Prayer "Connection"...but that requires some Belief in the First Place.

Non-Believers WANT that "Easy Route"...as the Song deals-with.

I think even Believers'd LIKE that Easy Route...because ALL Doubt would drop outta The Equation.

But..I think God keeps that Doubt..and Risk..Factor(s) in-there to keep this Planet Interesting.

Every Culture that ever HAD a "Supreme Being" had Armageddon Tales..so I'm not overly-worried about 2012. TODAY is all we've really got..but I'm expecting a fair-share of Tomorrows to deal with. (At age 64, I'm not really WANTING too-dern-many, myself!)
Each is a Gift/WHY be too-Greedy?

As for a "Wrathful God"..hmmm...I wonder what The Dinosaurs' Sin WAS back-when? Maybe I just Shouldn't Ask...

Back to Ponderment... Many Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Well-Thought Words, Amigo!

Best Wishes & Guy-Hugs,
Stan

G'Mornin' Doc-Migo, & Welcome Back to The Folks' Fold!

I'd imagine Jesus' Site to be free-of-charge...if ya can remember what he did to Moneychangers, Once Upon a Time.

Just 6 more days to one of the (JMO) Strangest Birthday Parties of All Time...Lawsuits about Nativity Scenes...Shoppers KILLIN' Each Other to get in the door FIRST...Debts Pilin' Up even in A Recession...Evictions & Layoffs goin'-on like Business-as-Usual...a War Continues...& the Grinches are still mullin' Healthcare for the Poorest. (OK I'm Done.)

Yeah, watchin' a Cartoon about a Parallel-Humanity MIGHT be Just The Ticket this year's end. (I got SO much Reality to escape from!) Thanks for your Kind Visit here & the PM...I've replied lengthily to! Hope 2010 is a GREAT Year for Yas...I'm expecting a Better One, too!

Best Christmas Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Another well formed humorus lyric.

Sure would save a lot of time wouldn't it?

Doug

G'Mornin' Bro Dougie!

Yeah..sure would, Amigo!

La Femme & I went to see "Precious" last night (Couldn't convince her to see an Animated Cartooned "Avatar"..try as I might.) "Precious" is from Oprah's Production Co...came highly-recommended..& was as-Depressing as it was Hope-Filled. Gal Central Character did a bangup Acting Job/as did much of the cast.

I'm still tryin' to decide IF it had a Happy Ending...but just like Life it was "Based on a true story".

I have the Same Quandary when it comes to Beliefs. But..like the Movie..I find "The Search" to be Very Entertaining.

Glad ya enjoyed this Latest One, Amigo! I'm sure there'll be more. Many Thanks for Your Kind Vists & Words, as-always,
& Best Sunday Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug!
Ol' Stan Down-Here, puttin' on a Sweater or Two this weekend!

Puttin on a sweater?? Why is it a tad cold in Florida this morning. LOL!

Today it is 20 degrees above 0 and for us northerners it is almost sweater weather. HA!

Have a good one.

Off to cleaning the basement and then wrapping them presents.

Later.

Doug

Hi Again DougBro!

Yep...I even bought a pair of $1 work gloves to get thru the Flea Market this AM. 40-Degrees...& about 17 mile/hr winds. Tonight & tomorrow we got Freeze Warnings. (Groan..my Palms have Finally Re-grown the leaves after Last Year's Damage!)

Tampa had an inch of snow...back in '78. (& Never-Again, I'll keep hoping!)

La Femme's callin' "Breakfast"...& I gotta re-visit an ol' Widow Lady..(Who lost her hub to a stroke..same week as their Drug-Addicted son who'd held up a 7-11 with a gun stolen from Dad got sentenced to 25 years for it.)..new mov't I put in her dead Grandfather Clock's decided to not do one of the Quarter Hr Chimes...(So much for Black Forest Quality these days, heh!)

So..Coffee/Blueberry Pancakes...& off into the Cold again~

I'm from Cleveland area originally...so I know all about The Lake Effect Up There...Brrrr!!!

Best Warm Weekend Wishes & 'Nother Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

AMEN to that, Stan the Man.

Your reference to Mary Magdalene in a later post reminded me of a rap song I uploaded a few months back, called Miriam the Magdalene.

I've just dug it out of the archives.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthr...n&topic=0&Search=true#Post740889

I penned the lyric after reading two very interesting books on the lady.

You might get a kick out of it.

Donna

Season's Best to Ya, Grand Dutch-ness DonnaM!

I Totally-LOVED that Rap Song...what a Hoot/What a Buncha TRUTH, too! (I've seen a Pair of Programs on the History Channel..or was it Nat'l Geo Channel...on her..& her Influence/Subesquent "Dilution"..by the Christian Church, Early-Version(s).

Yep, the Male Dominated Church owes a WOMAN Bigtime...for "What's Gospel" these days.

It's SO different the way Most of Europe believes vs here in The USA. I guess ever since The Reformation over there, "Believers" have learned to take EVERYTHING they're TOLD with "A Grain of Salt" as WELL as that Mustard Seed.

I intend to too. Gary's NOT totally depending on "God to have ALL the Answers" or he wouldn't have so MANY Home Remedies to offer. (He'd be another of those "Faith Healers" out there.)

But..I digress...

I remain a Deist who's Interested in Jesus... There are SO MANY "True Churches" I prefer to remain primarily a Deist.

But, I search, I keep an OPEN Mind, and yeah, I ask Questions.
I enjoy EVERY Answer/I'm NOT really Passing-Judgement..just getting some Feedback. History has always fascinated me...so has Journalism..& I remain a foe of Censorship of most every kind. ESPECIALLY those which alter/re-write History & lie.

LATELY several of the "Crustier" Versions of the Christian Church HAVE been communicating better-&-better with "The Common Folk"...for which I offer a "Hats-Off", not that My Opinion means a thing to them. (There are still SOME who think it's Hellish to NOT have Masses said in Latin...STILL...I'll add.)

So..does The Real God INSIST we face Mecca 5X a day & prostrate ourselves..OR we bend our knees in-Humiliation...OR self-flagellate 'till we bleed..perhaps?

Me, I say "Whatever You NEED to be Guilt-Free"...& go on..Seeking those Answers...Humbly..Honestly...(& yeah, with a bitta wit & humor..as much as I can humbly muster up.)

I'd say ya did a REAL Admirable Job with that Rap Song of Yours...& hope it gets Out There & does some Good!

Waal..Many Thanks for Your Very Kind Visit & "Amen" Mz Donna!
I truly enjoyed your song of Revelation!

Best Wishes & a Big Christmas Hug Backatcha,
Stan

I intend to too. Gary's NOT totally depending on "God to have ALL the Answers" or he wouldn't have so MANY Home Remedies to offer. (He'd be another of those "Faith Healers" out there.)
(quote)

and who do ya think directed me to all those things in my life Stan? it was God!! If we go to modeling the USA after all these failed countries in Europe we're gonna need God more than ever, we're the ONLY country in the WORLD that has only had 1 constitution and 1 Government the same way it was from the beginning all these other countries have had as many as 15, and this is what you want Stan? I'm sure if it is there are plenty of loyal abiding Americans that would gladly help you pack so you could enjoy some of the European ways the rest of your days.

Stan, you could always move to Canada cause... well... I think we have God here too.

G'day Stan, I like your song a lot and while I am here I wish you and your wife and all at JPF a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I confess that I have not had much time to write any songs. All of a sudden I got two journals I have been writing about two centuries of the history of my home town "Brisbane" published and all my time is spent marketing them on TV and Radio etc and I finished writing a book that I started writing sixteen years ago and am looking for a Producer or a Director to make a Movie or a TV Series of it. But the new year is just around the corner and hopefully I will be able to settle down again and write a song and come back again soon. best wishes, Ray Thyer, Coominya, Queensland Australia.

What can I say, Bro Gary, there are all sorts of ways to Interpret The Bible. That's "Free Will", & yep, I thank God for that, too.

As for "failed countries in Europe"...hmmm...most have lasted, with one boundary or another, for over 500-1000 years...some even far more..as Population Centers. OUR ancesters come here, push the Indians aside, who've been here 1000 years, some even more, and act like we've got it All Together/This is The Real Thing.

OUR boundaries have changed TOO over the years. WE've had wars, JUST like "Those Failed Countries"..and we even lost one..the one I fought in..and it ain't over YET in Afghanistan (Where even the Ruskies got butt-kicked.)

"..Government the same way it was from the beginning"... I haven't seen how The Vote went last evening...but if Nat'l Healthcare got approved, welcome to More Socialism than Ever here. The cost to each of us on JUST THAT'll more than equal the 3% Tea Tax that launched the American Revolution.

We now, per capita, OWE the USofA $140,000 to cover the Bank Bailout...and you wanna tell me this is "the way it was from the beginning???"

Like you, I owe The Deity for directing me to make Life Choices.
I originally talked to a Chaplain about being a C.O. pre-Nam-Training. (He was wearing a Combat Infantry Badge.) Showed me the Chapter & Verse where God supposedly said it was Quite OK to go out & kill.

So...I guess God CAN tell ya WHATEVER you Wanna Hear in-there, and I'm not gonna debate it any further.

But, like Many a 'Nam Vet, I've gone off to fight in a Stupid War for Stupid People who think THEY got ALL The Answers, and thanks to GOD (& a Self-Exile 5 years in Europe) I'm back here pointing out ALL The Stupidity.

Given enough time & loot, I probably WILL save ya the trouble of Packing Me Up. That "Pursuit of Happiness" thing still applies, right after "Life" and "Liberty". &..thanks to that Stupid War, I've seen how The Rest of The World Lives, so I don't have Tunnel Vision.

Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

HiDee Mz Vikkie!

I almost DID, 1968. Had many a letter back & forth to Mark Satin, about deserting to Canada. (He's now head of your Ecology Dep't there, I think?) I was VERY anti-Nam War.

But..I had a Galfriend living in Upstate NY...&..figured I'd get caught Visiting/Disgrace my family/I'm not BIG on Incarcertion.

So..I enlisted in the Army for a 4 year hitch, Army Security Agency..thinking that'd get me out of a for sure Nam Stint. 1 week before Basic Training, I picked up a Hitchhiker...who'd JUST finished his 4 years IN the ASA! He asked "Do you speak any Foreign Language?" "French" I'd replied. "Oh, you'll end up in 'Nam then, translating on the front lines."

Told my Recruiting SGT I had this "Issue" that was bothering me..."I'd penned letters to Canada debating my defection"...

Suddenly, no more Security Clearance OR ASA "Invite". So, I enlisted "Un-assigned" for 3 years..rather than being drafted for 2 (& sure-fire bein' Cannon-Fodder.) Army made me a "Combat Engineer/Pioneer"..in-essence a Glorified Infantryman WITH Demolition Skills so I could CLEAR a Landing Zone FOR the Infantry. (&..heh..in essence a bit of a Death Sentence.)

But..my being able to Type and Take Shorthand saved my butt when I hit Pleiku.."Sec't To Chief of Personnel"..& 4 months later, I became a "Combat Illustrator" when I replaced the Info Office's Cartoonist who was heading back Stateside/Cartooned about The War the last 8 months over there. Even got some in Stars & Stripes!

By then, my "Patriotism Battle-Proven"..I headed for the Pentagon, got my orders for Ft Holabird (Where ASA Trains Agents) changed...& off to USAREUR HQ in Heidelberg Germany..Illustrator-Draftsman. Got out in 1970, took a job at SHAPE HQ, with a NATO Top Secret Atomal Security Clearance, where, among other things, I drafted the DGZ Coordinate Sheets..where WW3's Missile will eventually plop-down..so I guess I've passed The Loyalty Test here..AND abroad.

As far as I've been able to tell, God's on EVERY Side/It's MEN who make ALL the trouble, especially the Intolerant Ones.

I've been to Canada Many a Time..took La Femme over to Your Side to see Niagra Falls..the very DAY we arrived in the USA in '73.
Onea my best College Chums owns an Insurance Co in Vancouver, James Ball--first kid EVER in our college to sport a Beatles Haircut...REAL Popular & Witty Guy! I've always admired how well You Guys tolerate us Yanks up there!

Many Thanks for Your very Kind Words & Invite, Mz V! God Be With Yas...& I'm sure He/She IS! Best Wishes & Season's Best!
Big Hugs Backatcha,
Stan

HiDee Brother Ray, & YAYYY...You're a WRITER & Then Some!!!

I gotta scoot for work..but WILL PM Ya as soon as I get a break in the Day's Routine!

MANY Thanks for your really Kind Visit & Update!
WILL Get Back to talk MORE!

CONGRATS!!..Best Wishes..& Big Christmas Hugs to You & Your Missus!
Stan

Stan I am your biggest fan. Well I am up there some where.

I just read your words, read then again, then read them out to the misses, then she says WOW, and I say WOW, then I read again.

Then I post this....

WOW.

God Bless Roy

I didn't see anything wrong with this, Stan. Very cute.

G'Mornin' Bro Roy, & Thanks to You & Your Missus!

I guess chisled on my tombstone oughta be "He Never Had All The Answers, but Boy Did He Ever Have The QUESTIONS!" ;-)>

There was Yet-Another TV Program on last night on "Missing Gospels"...Mary..Judas..& I think Peter...all Dug-Up..some quite recently...Scientifically-Dated..skeptically-"Authenticated"...& now..To Be Decided-Upon by "The Faithful". One's penned around 200 AD..pretty-CLOSE to some of the Gospels that "Made The Cut"..if I recall correctly. All forming a body of evidence that a LOT of Politics & Editing DID go into The Final (Approved) Chapters.

As for me, the very word "Knowledge" has the word "Know" in it..so I guess I'll continue to plod-on trying to KNOW what I believe..& What God Is.

I just Googled "First Council of Nicea"...it's real Interesting Reading!

Thanks for Your Kind Visit & Words, Amigo!

Wishing You & Yours a Very Merry Christmas...& a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

G'Mornin' Mz Jeannie B!

I'm just havin' More of My Usual Fun...

Did read where Emperor Constantine didn't really care WHAT the Council of Nicea came up with..he just wanted PEACE among "the Believers". &..among the 312 Bishops-Assembled..(Were there 2 ASSASINATIONS of 2-more during that Deliberation?)..two..maybe 3..were VERY "Voted-Out"...their works DESTROYED..AND 1, Arianas, was Exiled/Followers's Buildings Seized...(& Constantine later invited him BACK...)

Possession of any of the Banned/Burned Texts was then Punishable by DEATH...from about 325AD-on. YET..one of the Lost Gospels turned up in a Priest's Grave (Around 2000 AD) & was buried with his remains...around 400AD...originally-penned around 200AD.)

It ALL makes for Interesting & Intriguing Reading. (Some, quoting Voltaire..is in French.) Conclusion: Maybe we'll have ALL the answers in Another 2000 Years...maybe even more..so we all oughta be REAL tolerant through all the Translating & Archaeology.

Back to my AM Coffee...Another COLD Day here in Tampa..thru Christmas...then it gets Warm Again..I've been told by the TV Weather Guy. (But I'll believe it when I can take my sweater off!)

Thanks for Your Very Kind Visit & Words, M'LadyChum!
Best Wishes & a Big Christmas Hug,
Stan