Who's Online Now
10 members (Fdemetrio, VNORTH2, Gary E. Andrews, Perry Neal Crawford, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, Guy E. Trepanier, bennash, Bill Draper, David Gill), 4,088 guests, and 270 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Register Today!
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.

By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
ShoutChat
Comment Guidelines: Do post respectful and insightful comments. Don't flame, hate, spam.
What's Going On
Does Billy Joel belong in top 10?
by Fdemetrio - 03/28/24 11:10 PM
It Is Done
by Sunset Poet - 03/28/24 07:44 PM
Music Industry Summit, Athens Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/28/24 06:14 PM
Can you save me from me
by VNORTH2 - 03/28/24 03:11 PM
As human as yo
by ckiphen - 03/28/24 09:55 AM
Fox News Reports Stunning Archeological Discovery.
by couchgrouch - 03/27/24 08:02 PM
Wasting My Time
by David Gill - 03/27/24 07:42 AM
Song available
by JAPOV - 03/26/24 03:38 PM
YELLIN AT CLOUDS
by David Gill - 03/26/24 03:20 PM
"Reliving" the great Lou Rawls!
by Brian Austin Whitney - 03/26/24 01:49 PM
::: The Best In My Life :::
by Bill Draper - 03/26/24 01:32 PM
The show must go on
by ckiphen - 03/26/24 09:06 AM
NYC Motel 1972
by rpirone - 03/26/24 12:43 AM
usic Industry Summitt
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 11:32 PM
The Rant Arena
by JAPOV - 03/25/24 07:39 PM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Song available
by Raymond Byabazaire - 03/25/24 11:55 AM
Lancaster Festival, Lancaster, Ohio
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/25/24 10:51 AM
Wasting my time
by Rob B. - 03/25/24 03:45 AM
Tom Waits.. What's he building
by Fdemetrio - 03/25/24 12:09 AM
Rick Beato, bad lyrics
by Fdemetrio - 03/24/24 11:23 PM
Inspirational Videos Post Them Here
by Sunset Poet - 03/24/24 11:27 AM
Used to take a Genius to Mix
by Fdemetrio - 03/23/24 11:00 AM
"Broken Places"
by Gary E. Andrews - 03/22/24 07:45 PM
All You Are Is A Lie
by Sunset Poet - 03/22/24 06:55 PM
Pour Choices
by Gavin Sinclair - 03/22/24 05:29 PM
Billy's 30 year overdue song.
by Fdemetrio - 03/22/24 01:30 PM
Make my dreams come true
by ckiphen - 03/22/24 10:51 AM
Top Posters
Calvin 19,857
Travis david 12,264
Kevin Emmrich 10,941
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 9,003
glynda 8,683
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 8,160
Colin Ward 7,911
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,916
Mark Kaufman 6,589
ben willis 6,114
Lynn Orloff 5,788
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Fdemetrio 4,990
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,670
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,271
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,195
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,171
MFB III 4,143
Sunset Poet 4,126
nightengale 4,096
E Swartz 3,985
JAPOV 3,973
beechnut79 3,878
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,845
Dan Sullivan 3,710
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
Nigel Quin 2,891
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
MidniteBob 2,761
Nelson 2,616
Tom Tracy 2,558
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,246
Wendy D 2,235
Judy Hollier 2,232
Erica Ellis 2,202
maccharles 2,134
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,041
DukeWill 2,002
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
GocartMoz 1,559
Jack Swain 1,554
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,481
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,409
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
Deej56 1,385
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,294
lane1777 1,280
Gerry 1,280
DakLander 1,265
IronKnee 1,262
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
Glen King 1,214
VNORTH2 1,212
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,174
Diane Ewing 1,162
ckiphen 1,120
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
9ne 1,035
David Gill 1,032
Tony A 1,016
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
Nadia 829
ant 798
Juan 797
TKO 784
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
bennash 763
teletwang 762
Andy K 750
Andy Kemp 749
tbryson 737
Jackie444 731
Irwin 720
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Pat Hardy 692
Knute 686
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 668
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
R&M 614
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 590
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 513
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
Rob L 439
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Alek 386
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Ann_F 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
ddreuter 371
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Rob B. 364
Jim Ryan 360
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 293
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
Char 286
ktunes 285
Top Likes Received
JAPOV 86
VNORTH2 45
bennash 38
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rating: 5
Page 3 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,263
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,263
Hi Mike,

WOW! Love your idea and read some of your critiques...you sure can help someone like me! I am submitting this song to you for your honest opinion. Thanks!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=28328&songID=6473065

Rufus Taught Hank the Blues
© March 21, 2008 Stan Loh

Verse 1
He came from the streets of Georgiana,
His home a dingy shack,
Guitar, harp and red bandanna,
The blues upon his back.
From nowhere came a scrawny boy,
Not quite eleven years old,
A Silvertone his Christmas joy,
Three chords he could hold.

Chorus
Rufus taught Hank the blues,
Rufus taught Hank the blues,
He taught him lifts,
He taught him riffs,
Rufus taught Hank the blues.

Verse 2
Door to door for Greenville pennies,
They shared the coins each night,
Next stop were the whiskey alleys,
The love of black and white,
And mama didn’t care, and papa was gone,
The lonesome whippoorwill,
It hurt inside, his heart forlorn,
He loved Jack Daniel’s still.

Bridge
Don’t forget Rufus Payne,
When he plays you feel the pain,
The Blues…oh…the blues…
Rufus taught Hank, oh Rufus taught Hank the bluuueees.

Verse 3
The boy became an Opry star,
Indeed he fared damn well,
But booze and blues began to scar,
Whisky and fame are pals,
Old Rufus still played the cold, cold streets,
The boy played to surging crowds,
There was a time they were to meet,
The booze just made him proud.
Repeat Chorus/ Repeat Bridge

Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Dear Mr Knowitall thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule and listening to "Without A Trace"

We are so glad you like the song and your positive comments are well appreciated. This song has received acclaim from everyone who has heard it so far and it was no surprise that you also followed suit.
It is a sad reflection of the times that quality music like this cannot be placed with a star performer or is deemed not good enough or appropriate enough for the current charts and top selling artists.
Does this mean the death of decent music as we know it and that unoriginal, mediocre and mass-manufactured songs and cloned artists who canbarely hold a tune have taken precedence?
I thank you for inviting me to submit songs more appropriate for current tastes. I am afraid I do not write such stuff and therefore have nothing else to submit. I will have to dumb down and write and record some such songs to submit to you. Give me a couple of hours.

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,683
Dear Know It All,

I'd like to have you take a look at a song that I have with 2 co-writers, and see what you think of this one, thanks glynda duncan
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7174730

This is my favorite song in the world..thanks again.


How These Walls Cry

Through the years I've seen many things
Some I wish i had not seen
I've seen men come and go
Some go home and some go
well, you know.

It's a shame it took this to bring me to my knees

It doesn't matter who you are
the roughest, toughest, meanest of men
With all kinds of tattoos
There will come a day when you'll have to bend

You know when somethings going down
there's any icy wicked chill in the air
and it's thicker than ice
you better think twice
Before you show anyone that your scared

it's seeping through the walls
like fingers reaching out for you
stops you in your tracks
afraid to breathe or even move

No one makes a sound
As evil floats around
but, at night man you should see
How these walls cry.

My Mama revered the Lord
She said, son you'd better be good
Or you'll go straight to hell
well it feels like I am in this cell

Mamma did what she could
But she can't stop these walls from closing in
At times I swear I hear them talking
I pace the floors spend hours walking
At anytime my life could end

When my mamma cried for me
i just laughed right in her face
Now her wisdom I ignored
Has put me in this place

No one makes a sound
As evil floats around
but, at night man you should see
How these walls cry

How these walls cry

(Bridge)
Well, if I could get out for just one day
you know what i'd do
i'd get down on my knees
and kiss that woman's feet
Tell her I was such a fool

I've seen a man kill another man
just for sitting on his bed
Life means nothing behind these bars
just look at someone wrong and your dead

Yeah they act so tough swearing, cussin' and fighting
At night the damned lay still scared by a little thunder and lighting

No one makes a sound
As evil floats around
but, at night man you should see
How these walls cry
How these walls cry



Edited by Mike Caro


Last edited by glynda; 12/06/09 07:07 PM.
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,209
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,209
Thank you very much for your time and comments Mike. There have been quite a few comments from other songwriters about the song lyrically coming up short. Seeing as that is my main contribution to this song, I was willing to consider it. But my co-writers insisted that they were happy with it as is. This has already been accepted by an artist development agency as a song they will shop to up and comers... That's not a hit by any stretch of the imagination... but it does assure me, as you say, that we are not far off... Thanks again!

Greg

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by IdeaGuy
Thank you very much for your time and comments Mike. There have been quite a few comments from other songwriters about the song lyrically coming up short. Seeing as that is my main contribution to this song, I was willing to consider it. But my co-writers insisted that they were happy with it as is. This has already been accepted by an artist development agency as a song they will shop to up and comers... That's not a hit by any stretch of the imagination... but it does assure me, as you say, that we are not far off... Thanks again!

Greg



Your very welcome. Thanks for being a pro about this.

My quick question is, is this AGENCY taking money to do this shopping/pitching???



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by BIG JIM MERRILEES
Dear Mr Knowitall thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule and listening to "Without A Trace"

We are so glad you like the song and your positive comments are well appreciated. This song has received acclaim from everyone who has heard it so far and it was no surprise that you also followed suit.
It is a sad reflection of the times that quality music like this cannot be placed with a star performer or is deemed not good enough or appropriate enough for the current charts and top selling artists.
Does this mean the death of decent music as we know it and that unoriginal, mediocre and mass-manufactured songs and cloned artists who canbarely hold a tune have taken precedence?
I thank you for inviting me to submit songs more appropriate for current tastes. I am afraid I do not write such stuff and therefore have nothing else to submit. I will have to dumb down and write and record some such songs to submit to you. Give me a couple of hours.


Hi Jim

You may have somebody deem it "not good enough" but not me, or anybody else who knows "something".
Unique? Not really, This style material just hasn't been around much lately is all.
It was kinda like when Los LOney Boys came out, everything about them completely has been done before, to the extreme as a matter of fact, Only this generation doesn't really know that. And they caught a nice lucky break, because other bands that sound and play like them are found only in local bars and clubs.

Horns in general are "out" too bad just like guitar leads, but worse.
But a few mainstream people will drop similar music style like Amy Whinehore or a Joss Stone etc...

Again what you presented falls slightly under that "be the artist or band" that does this. Not so much give this song to Beyonce or Taylor, or Toby or Kelly Clarkson or etc...

There are some other signed artist not in the top - top 20
that perhaps could gel with this song. But we are looking for the hits. I think this song could sell and do alright if it found it's way to the right artist. One where it would have a chance!

So for a submission as "the artist" You could submit a few songs like three. I wasn't sure about the submission as far as that goes.

You mentioned dumbing down and making tunes like that in a matter of hours. Now there's the thing. I have tried, can't do it. But if you can try it. It's not easy to be convincing to young people for me, when I try to imitate there generations music. It's just a completely different world...

The BIG problem here and for ALL songwriters in general is..
You HAVE to write in one of three ways basically to have ANY chance whatsoever. Country, Hip Hop/Rap,or Teenie Pop Ya know Britany or Boy Band like tunes.


Other then that MANY write there own songs, and even some of those I mentioned write as well.


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 195
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 195
The BIG problem here and for ALL songwriters in general is..
You HAVE to write in one of three ways basically to have ANY chance whatsoever. Country, Hip Hop/Rap,or Teenie Pop Ya know Britany or Boy Band like tunes.


Other then that ALL write there own songs, and even some of those I mentioned write as well. _________________________


yeah and unfortunatly most of them ( most current "stars")have little or no talent. I turn off the radio often. But these stars are in with the major lables and the major labels have all the major radio stations under their power so the songs get played over and over until people are forced to like them( the old ,keep playing it again and again and eventually the public will like it, works.)
hence it then falls back unto "who you know"
but, internet radio has made a little punch in the major labels grip. so there is hope for newbies.

(this is just my opinion, but I bet most would agree)


http://www.sharlashore.com

member ASCAP
all songs copywrited.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by sharla
The BIG problem here and for ALL songwriters in general is..
You HAVE to write in one of three ways basically to have ANY chance whatsoever. Country, Hip Hop/Rap,or Teenie Pop Ya know Britany or Boy Band like tunes.


Other then that ALL write there own songs, and even some of those I mentioned write as well. _________________________


yeah and unfortunatly most of them ( most current "stars")have little or no talent. I turn off the radio often. But these stars are in with the major lables and the major labels have all the major radio stations under their power so the songs get played over and over until people are forced to like them( the old ,keep playing it again and again and eventually the public will like it, works.)
hence it then falls back unto "who you know"
but, internet radio has made a little punch in the major labels grip. so there is hope for newbies.

(this is just my opinion, but I bet most would agree)



Sharla

Exposure
I agree if you play something all day over and over on the radio
it's gonna stick, something's will stick more than others will.

(Most current stars have little or no talent)

I disagree, it's just what kind of talent, if you LIKE the music
and the depth of talent or skill.
BEYONCE - sings real well, she dances well, and she does a good enough job acting to keep getting work. She is talented. She does not write songs (As far as I know) she does not play instrument's or produce her own material. Hmmm sound a bit like Sinatra & Elvis and there are legends and icons,
But that's not what she needs to be doing, she has "something" that the public wants besides looks...

What kind of talent? And depth of it. With Hip Hop/Rap being the number one dominate force of popular music on this planet without a question, then what comes into play?

Producers! Programming Producers are where it is at. The ability to sing is at half strength,half important. Rhianna can sing, Kayne West cannot, he doesn't have to. Playing instruments is almost a non factor. The Black Eyed Peas for the most part PRODUCE HIT songs more than they write hit songs one after another, JZ same thing. Whatever they do, gets popular.It seems they can have a hit every other week. There style is soooo in-bedded now to the young public.

Taylor Swift has talent, and is doing extremely well. Her talents fit in the scene right now. And are the closet to the traditional approach of writing,playing,singing then anybody else on the chart top 10.

For many of us, songwriters or artists it's just not our world musically.

Think of like this,lets pretend it is 1940 and BIG BAND is on the pop music scene, now here along comes Lil Wayne at the same time doing exactly what he does. Does Benny Goodman let him in the band? lol to do what? His music would seem foreign just like 75% of pop radio today does too you.

He is completely out of his time and element. Of course we do things based on what have heard before so we don't sound to out of it, but in reality we are. This is NOT to say what's out on the top 10 is GREAT or the way it should be,but It's the way that it is for sure. You want in? What do you do? What can you do?

All the best
Be you and be happy smile



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,404
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,404
Dear Mike...(Sub-Guy)...

This song will surely make someone money ...lol... appreciate your comments on our tune...it is presently being musicated and I would gladly invite a new listen when you get the chance...

Trust me...she is gonna make somebody wealthy (I already have enough... so In all candor I can actually make this claim..lol...OK maybe I was fibbin a bit)...it might as well be you....LOL

Thanks for your time,

Larry


Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
I don't wanna get off track and discuss too much music biz stuff.
I'll try to keep the thread on it's original path, It is hard though I know smile

But let me put it this way for now, the Country is obsessed with singers, dancers, actors and vampires,:)Sex and Looks!of course.

Singing contests and dancing contests on TV.



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,404
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,404
Mike...All in good stead...Always in fun....my friend...I always appreciate your thoughts...

Larry


Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by in2piano
Mike...All in good stead...Always in fun....my friend...I always appreciate your thoughts...

Larry


Hi Larry

My last response was to my own post smile not yours lol...



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Janice Hopkins
Hi there Mike,

Well....in the context of this thread and what you are trying to do for all of us here....could you check out Dance In The Rain (currently on this forum)? Here is a link to my soundclick. On that site you can hear both the original G/V and also the demo version. Thanks so much. Lyrics are on the song page on soundclick as well.

http://www.soundclick.com/janicehopkins

Jan



Janice Hopkins
JPF Mp3 Boards


Dear Janice,

Thanks for submitting "Dance In The Rain" I thought it was very well presented and the song had lots of strong elements going for it. The obstacle that I felt holding it back was something about it's arrangement. While the whole song was pleasing it felt too long before getting a hook into the listener.

Even though it was sung just fine, It seemed to be long-winded.
If I had the lyrics here I could almost make an appropriate edit using the words too show you more of what I mean.

Your very close with this, so understand perhaps somebody else
may think it fine as is.
I just felt that maybe the verse could have been shorter or your second part the pre-chous/chorus could have.

Just felt like it needed a better layout and use of your hooks, I never felt like I absorbed any lyric or melody in the pre-chorus/chorus section enough to really fully appreciate it.

I went back for a second listen as it was definitely worthy of another listen. Naturally it stuck a bit better the second time around. But still something about it seemed to run on, sections running into the other, more space melodically perhaps?

Do you feel what I'm feeling at all?

This was a very nice song, and i have heard ones like it become hits. So.... lets talk about it some more and also I'll think about it some more. I wanna see if any part of it pops up into my head later on when I'm not thinking about it.

Sincerely
Mr Know It All
Sublevel Music NYC
--------------------------------------------------------


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997

In the last few days Jim's song (the section where the horns riff in and it sings ("Catch me if you can")etc.. keeps popping into my head. Sticking!!!

And Michele's "Hey Don't push my button line followed by that descending riff keeps coming back into my head.
Can not get rid of it!



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by rpw
Mike,

I just saw this and really appreciate what you're doing and all the effort you're putting into it.

I have one suggestion that would make it easier for readers to follow along: Include the submitter's post and song link for each one of your response posts (you already did this just once or twice).

That way the reader will be able to listen to the track while reading your response. This is such a poplular thread and tracking down the submitter's post can be a lengthy process - especially when their user name and real name aren't the same! Anyway, here goes my shot...

___________

Mr. Knowitall
SubStudio
Today

Thank you for taking the time to listen to my demo of "Guitar Girl". I appreciate and am looking forward to any response you may have.

Best Regards,
Rick Willingham

LINK: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8230765

LYRICS - "Guitar Girl"

V1 - Wanna tell you a story 'bout a long time ago, me and Suzy (she's a friend of mine, she's a good friend don't you know):
I bought a guitar and I learned some chords; I played those chords 'bout ev'ry night, and then I learned some more. She's my girl, she's my girl.

V2 - I wanted the big time, out in Hollywood; I wanted to be a rock and roll star, like I always dreamed I could.
I packed my bags up and I grabbed my gear, I grabbed my Suzy and then I said "we're gettin' out of here". She's my girl, she's my girl.

Bridge - She's my girl, she's my little baby.
She don't say no and she don't say maybe.
She's my guitar, she's my little girl yea-a-a-aaaah!

V3 - We hit the big time, me and my guitar girl; playing here and a playing there, and playing all o'er the world.
We're like a freight train, rolling down the tracks; chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, chugging along, we ain't never turning back. She's my girl, she's my girl, she's my girl..



Rick Willingham
JPF Mp3 Boards

Dear Rick,

Thanks for the submission, "Guitar Girl"
I like Rock n Roll so I appreciated this song.
Only sorry to say it's not something we could use. The first obstacle would be just the songs approach feels dated. Even rock bands don't really do this kind of R&R these days. And if they did or were close musically the lyrical subject matter doesn't seem that it would be a good fit today.
Although I have seen some bands on TV and have been shocked. So!
Kinda reminded me of T Rex Bang A Gong and Crocodile Rock.

I just think it needed to be more substantial if even in a fun way think "Stacey's Mom" by Fountains Of Wayne or some other playful modern pop rock songs.

But despite all that I can't find a single band ANYWHERE that doesn't do there own songs, so even if I could use "Guitar Girl I couldn't. This would be a band song totally.

Fun song and good work
Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by sharla
But while submissions are still open,
I would love feedback on this song.
it is just guitar and vocals at this time, (so easy to make any changes). odviously a ballad, other than that I could go any direction with it.

"felt you all night"
http://www.sharlashore.com/music-23.html

1st
The kiss that lasted all night, dripping deep into my soul.
I know I’m not supposed to jump, but I went ahead anyway.

(Chorus)
I felt you all night, and I laid with you alone, I felt you all night.
But now I know it’s just a dream, * I’m going back to start my life.

2nd
The ebb & flow I shared with you, like the waves beating on the shore.
Your kiss I won’t forget and the fire that it lit.

(Repeat first chorus*)

(End chorus)
But I felt you all night, and I laid with you alone,
and I felt you all night. But now I know it’s just a dream,
and I’ve gone back to start my life



Sharla
Mp3 Boards

Hi again Sharla,

This song had the same problems as the other.
While I did like the chord change and mood, it was just far lacking lyrically, melodically and phrasing wise. The words were too typical and then no matter how much nice emotion you poured into them (and you did) they just came up short.

The trouble starts right off the bat with your arrangement meter
and rhyme scheme.

here:

The kiss that lasted all night, dripping deep into my soul.
I know I’m not supposed to jump, but I went ahead anyway.


This just didn't sing or sit well, musically or lyrically. Even if there was no rhyme it didn't flow well. Here you have this pretty guitar and voice and these lines that don't match it. Also they are short with not a lot of info or emotional info,
I know I’m not supposed to jump, but I went ahead anyway

Nothing counted as the song developed...

Even just to smooth it out a bit like:

The kiss that lasted all night,
Dripped deep into my soul.
I went ahead and jumped in anyway
Really not supposed to, I know


There just needs to be more body to the songs. I feel the best thing to try is either be out there and interestingly obscure and or clever.
Or hit it on the nose with direct universal strong lyric that says it thoroughly. Like Billy Joel or The way good Country songs are written.

Most importantly do NOT be plain or dull or too poem like.

This chorus didn't offer nearly enough to anyone who wasn't writing it. And that's a huge key in a hit song or any solid song for that matter. Even if the title can't quite capture all the attention, the content has too...

I appreciate your professional attitude with all this and your work and determination.

Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Stan Loh
Hi Mike,

WOW! Love your idea and read some of your critiques...you sure can help someone like me! I am submitting this song to you for your honest opinion. Thanks!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=28328&songID=6473065

Rufus Taught Hank the Blues
© March 21, 2008 Stan Loh

Verse 1
He came from the streets of Georgiana,
His home a dingy shack,
Guitar, harp and red bandanna,
The blues upon his back.
From nowhere came a scrawny boy,
Not quite eleven years old,
A Silvertone his Christmas joy,
Three chords he could hold.

Chorus
Rufus taught Hank the blues,
Rufus taught Hank the blues,
He taught him lifts,
He taught him riffs,
Rufus taught Hank the blues.

Verse 2
Door to door for Greenville pennies,
They shared the coins each night,
Next stop were the whiskey alleys,
The love of black and white,
And mama didn’t care, and papa was gone,
The lonesome whippoorwill,
It hurt inside, his heart forlorn,
He loved Jack Daniel’s still.

Bridge
Don’t forget Rufus Payne,
When he plays you feel the pain,
The Blues…oh…the blues…
Rufus taught Hank, oh Rufus taught Hank the bluuueees.

Verse 3
The boy became an Opry star,
Indeed he fared damn well,
But booze and blues began to scar,
Whisky and fame are pals,
Old Rufus still played the cold, cold streets,
The boy played to surging crowds,
There was a time they were to meet,
The booze just made him proud.
Repeat Chorus/ Repeat Bridge



Stan Loh

Dear Stan,

Thanks for the recent submission. I listened to "Rufus Taught Hank The Blues"
I thought there were lots of good clever lines in the song.
Unfortunately we'll have to pass on it. It's entire style in all regards would be too difficult to shop and place today.

Thanks again
Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,209
Top 200 Poster
Offline
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 1,209
Originally Posted by Mike Caro Substudio
Originally Posted by IdeaGuy
Thank you very much for your time and comments Mike. There have been quite a few comments from other songwriters about the song lyrically coming up short. Seeing as that is my main contribution to this song, I was willing to consider it. But my co-writers insisted that they were happy with it as is. This has already been accepted by an artist development agency as a song they will shop to up and comers... That's not a hit by any stretch of the imagination... but it does assure me, as you say, that we are not far off... Thanks again!

Greg



Your very welcome. Thanks for being a pro about this.

My quick question is, is this AGENCY taking money to do this shopping/pitching???



NO! This is totally above board through a contact I've had for a while. No fees whatsoever (for me) There may be for the "up and coming" artists... I'm not sure about that end... in fact I imagine there probably MUST be.

Thanks again,

Greg

Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,044
Likes: 16
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,044
Likes: 16
I think I will toss in a tune to get a little feed back too.

Everett



http://soundclick.com/share?songid=3597837


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING.

SO THIS IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
MANY HAPPY RETURNS
MAY IT BE SO JOYOUS
WITH LITTLE CONCERNS

MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
WHEN YOU BLOW OUT THE FLAME
YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING
IN MORE THAN JUST NAME

CHORUS

YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING
I WISH YOU MANY MORE
MAY YOU ALWAYS BE HAPPY
MAY YOU NEVER BE POOR

I PRAY TIME TREATS YOU KINDLY
LIKE IT HAS IN THE PAST
MAY YOUR TROUBLES BE FLEETING
MAY YOUR PLEASURES HOLD FAST

(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)

YES THIS IS A MILESTONE
ON YOUR JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE
BE IT ALWAYS HAPPY
WITH NO CAUSE FOR STRIFE

MANY LITTLE PLEASURES
I WISH ONLY FOR YOU
YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING
AS YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

REPEAT CHORUS TWICE (rising higher on second repeat)

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 73
R
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
R
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 73
Mike (Not Mr. K...),

Thank you again for putting so much time and effort into this thread.

As a suggestion for another thread: "Writing song submission letters with evaluations by Mr. K.". I'm sure there's certain elements that really need to be included and your insight and tips on constructing the letter "properly" could be very helpful to many here (IMO).

I think with the two songs that you thought it remided you of, you nailed it "time-period-wise", late 60's early 70's. I was in high school then and paid a lot of attention to the rock music of the period, especially the crunchy rhythm guitar stuff.

As far as the song being marketable today, you're right - it doesn't fit at all. After reading you in-character response, there are a couple of things that come to mind.

First, my expections were out of line. I'll have to say that I probably felt the same way about the song but didn't know how to articulate that feeling. Also, I was so excited about the level of critiquing that you are doing here that I lost track of the main point/game of this thread: Songs for submission to be used by other artists (which mine was not).

I guess was expecting/hoping for more production / engineering / performance critiques and helpful pointers on those aspects. Which brings me to an idea for another thread / subject. Can you do a "Recording School" project review thread where Mr. K is the teacher who does the grading and helps us along the path to better recordings?


Rick...
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by Mike Caro Substudio
Originally Posted by Ken Damkier
1864
Thanks for your kind response Mike.
I'll submit 3 songs but I'm a little confused about the code?
I've placed it on top here. If it's wrong, please correct me.
The 3 songs are more pop style, but they are only first attemts.
My goal is to redo them all.

Greetings fro Denmark
Ken

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=55851

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=76022

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=76023



Thanks Ken

I'll get to these asap.

The code was fine smile Some record label and publishing people if they like your work and are enthused to hear more and are expecting your package will tell you to put there secret code on the envelope.

The very first time I ever sent out packages with cassettes of my songs, one slipped through at a Major Publishing/Label
Motowns!. I didn't know about "solicitation" so it should have been mailed back or tossed out like the others.
After being shocked to no end that the guy called my house and we spoke on the phone. According to him I was so close to something he could use, "a hit song" he said. He was literally deciding about it over the phone, he kept leaning back and forth and my heart was in my throat.

If i had even realized how rare this was then like i do know, I don't think I would have EVER hung up LOL

He didn't take the song, and couldn't put his finger on why, he had no advice or suggestions. He was new to that label and maybe hadn't developed a way to constructively crit the tunes yet.

Anyway he said, "Any songs you have, you send them to me anytime,
right down this code and put it on the envelope so it will come straight to me and not be lost or tossed". I'll get back to you
afterwards.

This guy was EXTREMELY cool. I sent another package but drifted
away from what he was looking for musically. He then left and went on to a bigger job change in the music biz.

I never forgot about that it was very cool, so I thought the code use in this thread would be a nice touch, to share that feeling in a tiny tiny way.

Thanks
Mike



Thanks Mike for taking your time to reply to all of us.
Now I get the idea of a code atached.
I sure can imagine you sitting with that Motownfella on the phone. That call could have changed your whole life, but after all every little detail in our life contains the possibility of a complete change of life-circumstances.
Thanks again for throwing light on the subject of hitmaking.
Best vibes.
Ken

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878
Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878
Likes: 2
Would love to get my one and so far only demo into the mix. I have it saved on my flash drive. How do I get the MP3 into the system here? Please adivse. Thank you.

Brian B

Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 195
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 195
Mike thank you!
I see what you mean,
I will work on changing the lyrics around and making the chourus stronger.
thank you!
sharla


http://www.sharlashore.com

member ASCAP
all songs copywrited.
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 195
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 195
this is a more specific song, with alot of rhymes.
a happy song about a sad subject. more pop in nature.
( I have a feeling I know what you are going to say, but maybe I will be suprised)

http://www.sharlashore.com/music-13.html

The monkey song

Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight.

Tell the lion that the forest is gone.
All the little bitty creatures have gone.
Tell the lion that the forest is gone tonight (tonight , tonight)

I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land. Tell the natives they have no more homes tonight. (tonight , tonight)

Tell the river that its source has run dry, no more rainfall coming down from the sky.
Tell the river that its source has run dry tonight. (tonight, tonight)


Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead, all the leaves and trees and flowers have fled.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight. (tonight, tonight)

I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land.
Tell the natives they have no more homes tonight. (tonight, tonight)

Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead, tell the monkey that the jungle is dead, tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight

I just don't know and I don't understand,
Why we have to tear up this land.
Tell the people survivals at hand, its up to us too-
I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land
Tell the people survivals at hand, it's up to us too.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead,
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead,
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight.


http://www.sharlashore.com

member ASCAP
all songs copywrited.
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,263
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 2,263
Thank you Mike about Rufus Taught Hank The Blues being a difficult song to sell! I understand! It's sticks out as a strange kind of song in today's market.

Your time is much appreciated...and I like what you are doing!

Stan

Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Dear Sir, I respectfully submit this song for consideration for a female singer in the rock/punk genre. The lyrics are below and this is a home made mp3, but hopefully enough to give you an idea of how it would sound.I look forward to your thoughts.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Kimberly Hales Kime
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7565680

Take Me like A Man

Pin me against the wall
Wrestle me to the floor
Don't care where we do it
Just wanna do it more

Make my body want you
And rock my world for me
I'm your love slave
I'll follow where you lead


Take me like a man
Hungry for more
Take me like a man
Make my passions soar
Up above the clouds
Into outer space
Take me like a man
Take me to that place

Inhibitions gone
Let me hear your pleasure
Love me like the first time
Make it an adventure

Find my hidden treasures
Dont ride my curves too slow
I want satisfaction
Reve your engine and go-go

Take me like a man
Hungry for more
Take me like a man
Make my passions soar
Up above the clouds
Into outer space
Take me like a man
Take me to that place

Musical Break

Bridge
Love me baby, love me like no other
SUPERMAN- you're my hero undercover
Come on, come on let's do it
Come on baby, come and do it, come on baby come on, get down to it and
Take me take me take me take me take me take me take me

Take me like a man
Hungry for more
Take me like a man
Make my passions soar
Up above the clouds
Into outer space
Take me like a man
Take me to that place

Tag
To that place, yeah, to that place

© 2009 Little Ike Productions/Kimberly Hales Kime, BMI


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 294
Top 500 Poster
Offline
Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 294
Yo Mr. K.,
I'm a sendin' you this lil' ol song o' mine fer yer listenin' pleasure. It features my mad skills on the geetar as well as some of my "down-home" hollerin'
Please let me know ahead of time which label wants to pick up my song, as I'll need time for the tattoo of their logo to heal before I land on the scene. I'm also missin' a front tooth and will need to borrow my cousin's if any close up shots are required.

Seriously Mike, here's maybe the third song I ever wrote, circa 2003, It's an upbeat and positive song....not my normal area of expertise. My husband always thought it was too long...but at least it's shorter than "American Pie"!
yerz, Ellen
thought I'd squeeze this one in before the deadline!

http://www.box.net/shared/ua9jrlg410

Writin’ My Own Rules

I.

a little child is wild and free
made up of individuality
until they become aware
of brand-name clothes and styles of hair
suddenly it ain’t okay just to be yourself
you pack up the “real” you
and hide it in a box on a closet shelf

II

.as a teen I tried to make the scene
by hangin’ with those gals
tryin’ out for cheerleading
anything to be their pal
what a mortifying mess
that turned out to be
‘cause in the garden of life, I’m a thorny briar rose
what you get is what you see


CHORUS:

so I cut the cord, smash the mirror
step out of the box
don’t you tell me I’ve gotta be something that I’m not
I’ll step on a crack, break your mother’s back
while wearing silly shoes
one thing you can count on
I’m writin’ my own rules

III.

proper, proper, proper
was how I was raised to be
cross your legs, fold your hands
and place them gently on your knee
but I learned a different way
by calling my own shots
one, two, three get ready
I’m pullin’ out all the stops


CHORUS

BRIDGE:

so don’tcha try to fit into someone else’s
idea of how to be
it won’t fit right, it’ll be way too tight
way smaller than it needs to be


CHORUS

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by rpw
Mike (Not Mr. K...),

Thank you again for putting so much time and effort into this thread.

As a suggestion for another thread: "Writing song submission letters with evaluations by Mr. K.". I'm sure there's certain elements that really need to be included and your insight and tips on constructing the letter "properly" could be very helpful to many here (IMO).

I think with the two songs that you thought it remided you of, you nailed it "time-period-wise", late 60's early 70's. I was in high school then and paid a lot of attention to the rock music of the period, especially the crunchy rhythm guitar stuff.

As far as the song being marketable today, you're right - it doesn't fit at all. After reading you in-character response, there are a couple of things that come to mind.

First, my expections were out of line. I'll have to say that I probably felt the same way about the song but didn't know how to articulate that feeling. Also, I was so excited about the level of critiquing that you are doing here that I lost track of the main point/game of this thread: Songs for submission to be used by other artists (which mine was not).

I guess was expecting/hoping for more production / engineering / performance critiques and helpful pointers on those aspects. Which brings me to an idea for another thread / subject. Can you do a "Recording School" project review thread where Mr. K is the teacher who does the grading and helps us along the path to better recordings?



Hi Rick

Your welcome,thanks for being a pro about it.

You have a knack for taking these threads and making more good ideas from them. smile I think like that alot but sometimes they catch on and sometimes they don't.

On the recording/production stuff I have done threads where I even posted videos to explain and teach stuff, took a load of work and hardly anyone participated. So I don't think I'll revisit that area.

The "letter" submissions is a nice subject thread. Again I'm not
equipped info in grammer etc.. to instruct a proper letter.
Only good at thinking a bit about what to say or what not to say.
It would make a good thread though and discussion. So perhaps.

I'm glad you got excited about submitting, that was a BIG part of starting this thread, another was to help people 1- Realize!
What's going on, what they are submitting,and where they are at.
We feel we deserve to be in the business, yet we are not offering anything of what that business is all about in many cases. Doesn't make them right or great but it doesn't put money in our pocket or food on our table either.

Music/Songs - We as people have a tendy to throw it all together into one clump. It's such a game and there are so many factors and tangibles. Like I when I say to someone, see that guy? he plays BASS in a band, he wrote a bass line and the band splits the songs evenly.or he wrote a bass line and the two lines for the bridge. He has decent success with his band, ASCAP and BMI pays him ROYALTIES as a songwriter. He is considered songwriter who gets paid a PRO. You write 500 songs or 5,000 songs fully, by your self and you got paid ZERO!

A singer insists on having his or her name put down as a songwriter credit on their CD, even though they only contributed
some small moves in the melody on one or two lines, the label wants to make there star or want to be star happy.
YOU are now giving up percentages for no reason but oppurtunity
and that's fine by you as you have NO CHOICE. Does not make it right.

This is a business, like a job and people will hold stuff over your head as not only do they think,We'll I'm potentially paying you, but also "Hey everybody wants this DREAM,this position, so.... next!

Anyway sorry for the rant.... smile

But you gotta show you have a lot to offer song wise or biz wise.
The fact that we just play,write or sing is not going to be nearly enough.


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Everett Adams
I think I will toss in a tune to get a little feed back too.

Everett



http://soundclick.com/share?songid=3597837


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING.

SO THIS IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
MANY HAPPY RETURNS
MAY IT BE SO JOYOUS
WITH LITTLE CONCERNS

MAY ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE
WHEN YOU BLOW OUT THE FLAME
YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING
IN MORE THAN JUST NAME

CHORUS

YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING
I WISH YOU MANY MORE
MAY YOU ALWAYS BE HAPPY
MAY YOU NEVER BE POOR

I PRAY TIME TREATS YOU KINDLY
LIKE IT HAS IN THE PAST
MAY YOUR TROUBLES BE FLEETING
MAY YOUR PLEASURES HOLD FAST

(INSTRUMENTAL BREAK)

YES THIS IS A MILESTONE
ON YOUR JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE
BE IT ALWAYS HAPPY
WITH NO CAUSE FOR STRIFE

MANY LITTLE PLEASURES
I WISH ONLY FOR YOU
YES HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING
AS YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE

REPEAT CHORUS TWICE (rising higher on second repeat)





Everett Adams
JPF Mp3 Board


Dear Everett,

Thanks for submitting "Happy Birthday Darling"
The demo sounded good and the song had warm genuine sentiments.
It had a feeling to it like if a star from the past had a hit with it and played it at each concert for gracious and loyal fans.
Had a very traditional way about the whole song approach, being it near the holidays the first thing to come to mind was John Lennon's singing "and so this is Christmas"

Heartfelt,well written and well done Everett,but not really something we can use in today's market.

Thanks
Sincerely
MR Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Mr. Knowitall,

Thank you very much for your recent review and reply to my submission, "Piano Purgatory". I fiound your review to be thoughtful and constructive.

I shall be looking a newer percussion samples in the near future. In fact, my entire orchestration library could use some revamping. That is on the agenda for a future project.

I also agree with your comment about being more repetitious. That would better establish a main theme around which the rest of the music could refer. Thank you for bringing that oversight to my attention.

I had thought, and it seems you agree, that this would be a nice piece for the credits.

Again, thank you very much. Should I find anything else in my catalogue that might meet your requirements and quality, I shall be in contact, per your suggestion.

Respectfully,

Al David

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Ken Damkier
Originally Posted by Mike Caro Substudio
Originally Posted by Ken Damkier
1864
Thanks for your kind response Mike.
I'll submit 3 songs but I'm a little confused about the code?
I've placed it on top here. If it's wrong, please correct me.
The 3 songs are more pop style, but they are only first attemts.
My goal is to redo them all.

Greetings fro Denmark
Ken

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=55851

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=76022

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=76023



Thanks Ken

I'll get to these asap.

The code was fine smile Some record label and publishing people if they like your work and are enthused to hear more and are expecting your package will tell you to put there secret code on the envelope.

The very first time I ever sent out packages with cassettes of my songs, one slipped through at a Major Publishing/Label
Motowns!. I didn't know about "solicitation" so it should have been mailed back or tossed out like the others.
After being shocked to no end that the guy called my house and we spoke on the phone. According to him I was so close to something he could use, "a hit song" he said. He was literally deciding about it over the phone, he kept leaning back and forth and my heart was in my throat.

If i had even realized how rare this was then like i do know, I don't think I would have EVER hung up LOL

He didn't take the song, and couldn't put his finger on why, he had no advice or suggestions. He was new to that label and maybe hadn't developed a way to constructively crit the tunes yet.

Anyway he said, "Any songs you have, you send them to me anytime,
right down this code and put it on the envelope so it will come straight to me and not be lost or tossed". I'll get back to you
afterwards.

This guy was EXTREMELY cool. I sent another package but drifted
away from what he was looking for musically. He then left and went on to a bigger job change in the music biz.

I never forgot about that it was very cool, so I thought the code use in this thread would be a nice touch, to share that feeling in a tiny tiny way.

Thanks
Mike



Thanks Mike for taking your time to reply to all of us.
Now I get the idea of a code atached.
I sure can imagine you sitting with that Motownfella on the phone. That call could have changed your whole life, but after all every little detail in our life contains the possibility of a complete change of life-circumstances.
Thanks again for throwing light on the subject of hitmaking.
Best vibes.
Ken



Ken
JPF Boards



Dear Ken,

Thanks for the fast reply and requested second submission.

I listened to all three songs, and before I get into ideas big dreams and possibilities. Lets get grounded in something certain
We are happy to say we are accepting your material as is for film and TV placements. So a congratulations on that.

You are just too musical to pass by and that musicality is very emotional as well. Your material sets mood big time all by itself so just imagine what it's gonna feel like behind a film scene of equal emotional nature. I can!

Your musicality is the key.
Now just to play out the whole hand here. As far a selling songs by themslves, your style is far to singer/songwriter the lyrics by themselves are not the selling point. Think of Norah Jones if she didn't perform hers songs with great musicality she would not be selling them to Carrie Underwood or anybody I can think of on top 40 radio.

I like your voice for your songs and like I said they go "As is to film placement" If you were going for the more hit based artist goal, I would suggest getting a partner, a singing partner mostly.
While there are many artist's who have that "style" sound to there vocal today, I don't see many lasting very very long.
If you had Sting's voice you could really take off even more.
Springsteen had that, but also tremendous lyrics and a very very strong live voice, people don't even realize so.

Paul Simon can sing, but it was Garfunkel's voice that paved the way to the public much more quickly. I know about the harmony aspect but you get my point. So I could picture you having a hit with somebody else singing then down the road people saying hey I like him as the artist,the singer,maybe as much or more than the original singer...

I can hear the range and pitch limitations in your voice straight off, it even stops the songs from having even more dynamic melodies and sections to match the wonderful chord changes you have. But again your warm musical feel and emotion
overrides that.

So even though we want to sign you for reasons stated, It would be wonderful for you to stretch out even more and collaborate and grow even more, have a girl sing some of your songs go with all the ranges you can that are out there, with your feel and creativity you should feel rewarded musically and hopefully career wise.

We are sending forms and paper work for you to look over and fill out.

Talk Soon
Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC


Ken - I NEVER sat down once during that phone call with Motown smile

And it did change my life after that I never left my house hardly and worked twice as hard as I did before, also went out and spent my life's savings on better equipment to record on for demo's to submit. Within a years time I got to an independent label and they took one of those songs and made a record.





Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
To Richard Myers

Richard,

Please check out the last post to Ken, and listen to his song "Drifting Away"
This is a perfect example of what I was talking about with you and film placement.

Notice how the sections change some but that consistency is always there like one big part,hook that keeps going round and round.

He never lets the strongest part of his song get too far away.
The part that captures the listener.

Here is the link for that song "Drifting Away"
http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=55851


All the best
Mike




Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
To Jim Merriless
JPF Boards

Dear Jim,

After further consideration we wanted to inform you would accept your song submission "Without A Trace"

Even though it was hard to figure a placement with a current artist and not having enough to go on to sign the artists associated with the song pitch, I came to this conclusion.
There's more than one way to skin an apple.

The top of the songs chorus has been stuck in my head for two days or so now. That means as a TV theme song it will stick for certain.
So we have a a legal lawyer based show, sound familiar where between the tune and the "catch me line" will go perfectly!

Tv is a great way to get a song exposure. AC 3 was dropped by there label, good thing for them, They have the theme for the Sopranoes and that paid a lot more and a lot longer than a number one gone tomorrow hit!

We'll be in touch with you, Congratulations!!


Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 223
Hi Mike.
Thanks for accepting my material as is for film and TV placements.
I just can't wait to walk up there to lift my Grammy with Nicole Kidman on my left and Harrison Ford on my right accepting my musical award of the century in front of Obama&wifey.
I'll thank my mother and you for supporting me when others turned their back on me.

End of kidding!

I'm deeply honored by your response Mike.
You are hitting the very spot about my voice.
I never performed singing any of my songs live for the very reasons you've described in your reply.
I've made my bread for many years as a sideman guitarist in Scandinavia but writing lyrics, singing and composing music is quite new to me.
Therefore I'll swallow your advices like a hungry wolf and learn the best I can from them.
I actually talked to pro singers who are friends of mine asking if they would sing some of my songs.
Their reply was, that they could or would not sing my songs, because the lyrics were too personal.
Now your advices makes me decide to walk that road again and find real singers to work with.
After all I've been on the road long enough to wish only to sit at home writing songs, walking smiling to my bank, throwing parties to friends and get up next day before sun is down and work another 24 hours with music.

Looking forward to receive forms and paper work from you to look over and fill out.

Ps...
I had a feeling that you were ignited even more after that Motown call, and I know you did well(-:

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,541
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 3,541
Hi Mike

Well I sang out my street today,(In the garage) smile haven't sung "Don't push my button" for a while now, so I thought today I would give it a whirl, hah, I still sing it just fine, whistle and I reckon I could get the crowds roaring singing it hey, so much fun. grin

Thanks for all your encouraging words. smile

Now where is Dolly and Tanya???? wink

Hugs Michele


Last edited by Michele Bolton; 12/08/09 08:25 AM.
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,044
Likes: 16
Top 40 Poster
Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 7,044
Likes: 16

Thanks Mike for you kind words. I know the sound is dated and would never fit into todays country sound (as is THIS ANNIVERSARY
YEAR) but the content is never dated when wishing loved ones a greeting for special occasions. I appreciate your time in listening.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8447908






THIS ANNIVERSARY YEAR.

BLACK AND WHITE IVORY WEAVING IT'S MAGIC, NOTE BY NOTE

CANDLE LIGHT AND WINE GIVES A WARM GLOW TO THE LOVE SONG I WROTE

THE SCENT OF ROSES AND THE HINT OF PERFUME JUST PERMEATES THE AIR

CELEBRATING THE TIME THAT YOU BECAME MINE, ON THIS ANNIVERSARY YEAR
CHORUS

I'VE OFTEN WONDERED WHO BLESSED MY LIFE THE DAY THAT I FOUND YOU

WHEN YOU CONSENTED TO BECOME MY WIFE, ALL THINGS BECAME BRAND NEW

THE SUN SHONE BRIGHTER, THE CLOUDS WERE WHITER, THE SKY A DIFFERENT BLUE

AND I COULD SWEAR THAT I COULD HEAR ANGELS SINGING TO YOU


THE BOW AND THE STRINGS ROMANTICALLY SINGS MELLOW TONES

BRINGS BACK MEMORIES OF PLEASURES PAST, THAT TOGETHER WE'VE KNOWN

THE CHILDREN WE RAISED AND OUR GOD THAT WE PRAISED, JUST ADDED TO OUR BLISS

STILL NOTHING COMPARES TO THESE GOLDEN YEARS AND THIS ANNIVERSARY KISS
REPEAT CHORUS
TAG: YES ANGELS SINGING TO YOU
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LOVE AND MANY MORE
(c) Everett Adams


The more you taste the bitterness of defeat, the sweeter final victory will be

May the flowers of love forever bloom in your garden of life

http://www.soundclick.com/newsflashsounds

http://www.soundclick.com/newsflashgospel

www.cdbaby.com/all/eca333

www.showcaseyourmusic.com/newsflashsounds
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Top 20 Poster
Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,463
Dear Mr Knowitall

Thank you very much for your kind words and for accepting the song. I will inform the writers at once that the song meets with your approval. They will be over the moon.

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 840
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 840
Dec. 08, 2009

Brenda McBryde BMI

Dear Mr. Knowitall,
Thank you so much for the opportunity to submit a song for your consideration. I have chosen a male vocal country ballad that I hope hooks you.

All my best,
Brenda McBryde

www.tunesmithpro.ning.com/profile/brendamcbryde

Get To Your Heart
written by: James Ryce/Brenda McBryde


I keep waiting for a day that never comes
And I keep pretending there's love when there's none
I always let you go to watch you fly
But it's better then saying goodbye

I can't get to your heart though for years you know I've tried
And you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
You know that I would beg and plead, to hell with lovers pride
I can't get to your heart, but I can't say goodbye

You call me with plans so mine get rearranged
Then later you tell me your mind has changed
And even when my heart gets cast aside
Its still better then saying goodbye

I can't get to your heart though for years you know I've tried
And you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
You know that I would beg and plead, to hell with lovers pride
I can't get to your heart, but I can't say goodbye


Everyone has to finally draw the line
When there's no hope left in sight
I'll let the light of a new day shine
I Guess I'm saying goodbye


I can't get to your heart so I'll just say goodbye
'Cause you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
I'll no longer beg and plead, I'll hang on to my pride
I might get to your heart, when you hear me say goodbye

yeah, I might get to your heart, when you hear me say goodbye

Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725
Top 50 Poster
Offline
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 5,725
Dear Mr. Know-it-all. I'm a 23y/o, blond, blue eyed, vampire vixen, who is also very cool. I heard your needing some tunes so I thought I'd send this one in, cause everybody tells me I look good when I sing it. Just hit my cell phone and I'll tell you where to send the money...

"Old Tire Swing"

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=100639&songID=8215651



Lyrics
Just you and me
with a breeze in our face
the memory won't fade
takes me to the same place
just you and me what a wonderful thing
swinging on that old tire swing

it's where we dared to dream and make believe
it's where we both had our first kiss
it was a magical midsummers eve
when we were swinging on that old tire swing

sweet summer days
we'd both share in the shade
listening while birds
sing their sweet serenade
just you and me with no reason or rhyme
we always had a real good time

it's where we dared to dream and make believe
it's where we both had our first kiss
it was a magical midsummers eve
when we were swinging on that old tire swing


you went away
broke my heart I recall
I guess we both changed
summer had to turn fall
sometimes at night I still drive by that place
hoping just to see your face

it's where we dared to dream and make believe
it's where we both had our first kiss
it was a magical midsummers eve
when we were swinging on that old tire swing


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,400
Top 100 Poster
Offline
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,400
bump


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
A day without learning is a day lost forever.

www.soundclick.com/johnsings
www.soundclick.com/johnwselleck
www.soundclick.com/johnselleck
https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?bandID=1468958 For Selleck/Kay co-writes
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
D
Serious Contributor
Offline
Serious Contributor
D
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,910
could you please listen to "southbound train" it is one I wrote an performed

Thank you
Dan

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6990924


http://www.soundclick.com/danoconnell
A Purveyor of Folk Music
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by beechnut79
Would love to get my one and so far only demo into the mix. I have it saved on my flash drive. How do I get the MP3 into the system here? Please adivse. Thank you.

Brian B



Brian - Is your song on your computer? Can you post a link to it here? Try using Soundclick it's very easy to operate.


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by sharla
this is a more specific song, with alot of rhymes.
a happy song about a sad subject. more pop in nature.
( I have a feeling I know what you are going to say, but maybe I will be suprised)

http://www.sharlashore.com/music-13.html

The monkey song

Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight.

Tell the lion that the forest is gone.
All the little bitty creatures have gone.
Tell the lion that the forest is gone tonight (tonight , tonight)

I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land. Tell the natives they have no more homes tonight. (tonight , tonight)

Tell the river that its source has run dry, no more rainfall coming down from the sky.
Tell the river that its source has run dry tonight. (tonight, tonight)


Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead, all the leaves and trees and flowers have fled.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight. (tonight, tonight)

I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land.
Tell the natives they have no more homes tonight. (tonight, tonight)

Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead, tell the monkey that the jungle is dead, tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight

I just don't know and I don't understand,
Why we have to tear up this land.
Tell the people survivals at hand, its up to us too-
I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land
Tell the people survivals at hand, it's up to us too.
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead,
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead,
Tell the monkey that the jungle is dead tonight.



Sharla Shore
Mp3 Boards

Hi Sharla,

You are very persistent that is a good quality.
I'm pleased to say that "The Monkey Song" is the BEST submission you have made so far. See? What didn't you submit that first. It gives a much much better impression and shows wgat your capable of.
It was the most original song you sent, and it was the most musical. It really had a nice groove and it flowed steady and smooth. You should "soul" here and It was a pleasant listen.

Not a hit song but a good enjoyable one, because you could feel
it. The only thing I would look at to help make it even cooler is on the section

I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land. Tell the natives they have no more homes tonight. (tonight , tonight)

Maybe ever section does not have to end with "Tonight"
I know it's part of the hook but you use it so much the real "hook" would be not to use it.

Lyrically I would love it stopped on a new sound like this line
I just don't know and I don't understand, why we have to tear up this land.

Or do what needs to be done to have the best meter of phrasing
but let it sound different than the word "tonight"

Sharla, this is nice work, simple catchy and effective, with musical hooks as well as lyrical ones.
Make this the first song you show somebody when pitching for something.

Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
SublevelMusic


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Stan Loh
Thank you Mike about Rufus Taught Hank The Blues being a difficult song to sell! I understand! It's sticks out as a strange kind of song in today's market.

Your time is much appreciated...and I like what you are doing!

Stan



Stan

Your welcome and very kind thanks!

Don't forget sometimes to take a song and give to an artist who is off beat and well a bit strange lol.. in today's market.

There is a show on SHOWTIME called "Weeds" they have some of the strangest songs I have ever heard on it. And they get PAID royalties okay! smile

So try to find your nice your angle. Throw a wrench into your own works and see what come out,

All the best
Mike
Sub


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by BIG JIM MERRILEES
Dear Mr Knowitall

Thank you very much for your kind words and for accepting the song. I will inform the writers at once that the song meets with your approval. They will be over the moon.


Thanks Jim

It is too catchy in that section not be on TV at least! And TV is a good place to be.

I think your vocal needs to be the one although both were very good.



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Kimberlyinnc
Dear Sir, I respectfully submit this song for consideration for a female singer in the rock/punk genre. The lyrics are below and this is a home made mp3, but hopefully enough to give you an idea of how it would sound.I look forward to your thoughts.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Kimberly Hales Kime
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7565680

Take Me like A Man

Pin me against the wall
Wrestle me to the floor
Don't care where we do it
Just wanna do it more

Make my body want you
And rock my world for me
I'm your love slave
I'll follow where you lead


Take me like a man
Hungry for more
Take me like a man
Make my passions soar
Up above the clouds
Into outer space
Take me like a man
Take me to that place

Inhibitions gone
Let me hear your pleasure
Love me like the first time
Make it an adventure

Find my hidden treasures
Dont ride my curves too slow
I want satisfaction
Reve your engine and go-go

Take me like a man
Hungry for more
Take me like a man
Make my passions soar
Up above the clouds
Into outer space
Take me like a man
Take me to that place

Musical Break

Bridge
Love me baby, love me like no other
SUPERMAN- you're my hero undercover
Come on, come on let's do it
Come on baby, come and do it, come on baby come on, get down to it and
Take me take me take me take me take me take me take me

Take me like a man
Hungry for more
Take me like a man
Make my passions soar
Up above the clouds
Into outer space
Take me like a man
Take me to that place

Tag
To that place, yeah, to that place

© 2009 Little Ike Productions/Kimberly Hales Kime, BMI



Kimberlyinnic
JPF Mp3 Boards

Dear Kimberly,

Thanks for submitting. Listen to "Take Me Like A Man"
Good work here, I'm a bit indecisive about it at the moment. It has very good elements for pitching today, the feel and style work, the subject matter works and it' well arranged song wise.

I know it's a rough and a good one, also i can certainly here past that only, never assume anybody will. This song needs to be sung and sung big. The second time you did the chorus was a bit more effective if you have the means to cut and paste do it.
make sure that first chorus is every bit as present powerful.

In a song like this as in any song really how you present it is key. Use all the bait you can to hook the listener in. One thing is for certain I think the song is worth investing time,effort and money into.

There is a nice tiny resurgence of Pop stars female one
s doing more rock based edgier songs.
This could work as one with singer like Pink or other pop
artists as well.

I think were it may need a bit of help is in just making it a bit more effective lyrically in spots.
You have all the ingredients in this song you just need help tweaking it perhaps. Too many notes were out of pitch here so it hurt your melody.

Again it could be a lot in the way it's delivered, and the dynamics of the song in general. Mess with the melody a bit and maybe shorten a few phrases when they are singing. Less holding notes.

Maybe a bit more catch in that lyric
Take me like a man followed with a solid ending both singing wise and lyrically. Let the music stop for the last line with a sexy voice alone to carry the last line.

Take me like a man
Hungry for more
Take me like a man
Make my passions soar
Up above the clouds
Into outer space
Take me like a man

Or don't take me at all


Just and example... I know the other line makes sense and it rhymes but it doesn't POP!

Up above the clouds
Starts right here on the floor
Take me like a man
Or don't take me at all

Something like that, or that. But as effective sounding as you can be as well as lyrically. Your first verse had a a bit more bite than the chorus, keep it strong all the way.

Don't forget attitude is whats gonna sell this song. I have heard it done before, words that are sold to you by style.

Please feel free to re-submit this when it's totally ready. get help with it to give it what it's lacking, and build on the good stuff.
The code is 1864 so it will get right too me.

Nice work
Sincerely
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel NYC



Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Ellen M
Yo Mr. K.,
I'm a sendin' you this lil' ol song o' mine fer yer listenin' pleasure. It features my mad skills on the geetar as well as some of my "down-home" hollerin'
Please let me know ahead of time which label wants to pick up my song, as I'll need time for the tattoo of their logo to heal before I land on the scene. I'm also missin' a front tooth and will need to borrow my cousin's if any close up shots are required.

Seriously Mike, here's maybe the third song I ever wrote, circa 2003, It's an upbeat and positive song....not my normal area of expertise. My husband always thought it was too long...but at least it's shorter than "American Pie"!
yerz, Ellen
thought I'd squeeze this one in before the deadline!

http://www.box.net/shared/ua9jrlg410

Writin’ My Own Rules

I.

a little child is wild and free
made up of individuality
until they become aware
of brand-name clothes and styles of hair
suddenly it ain’t okay just to be yourself
you pack up the “real” you
and hide it in a box on a closet shelf

II

.as a teen I tried to make the scene
by hangin’ with those gals
tryin’ out for cheerleading
anything to be their pal
what a mortifying mess
that turned out to be
‘cause in the garden of life, I’m a thorny briar rose
what you get is what you see


CHORUS:

so I cut the cord, smash the mirror
step out of the box
don’t you tell me I’ve gotta be something that I’m not
I’ll step on a crack, break your mother’s back
while wearing silly shoes
one thing you can count on
I’m writin’ my own rules

III.

proper, proper, proper
was how I was raised to be
cross your legs, fold your hands
and place them gently on your knee
but I learned a different way
by calling my own shots
one, two, three get ready
I’m pullin’ out all the stops


CHORUS

BRIDGE:

so don’tcha try to fit into someone else’s
idea of how to be
it won’t fit right, it’ll be way too tight
way smaller than it needs to be


CHORUS



Ellen
JPF Mp3 Boards



Thanks for the second submission. Plain and simple, I liked it!
Not a hit radio song in humble opinion but a good one and good for film/TV placement certainly. This submission was much closer
first of all it felt real good. That's one thing a song can do that will always be effective.

The chorus stuck, very good work here. My only suggestion mainly would be to iron out the ends of the verses. It kind of goes out of meter and the phrasing feels a bit uncertain there. I don't mind a bit of a twist I encourage it, but it felt off a bit in those spots like it went out of the 4/4 beat but wasn't supposed to perhaps.

The bridge was okay but could have used a slight more of something there, in the melody perhaps. Just too be a bit more effective. But the change was good and the songs arrangement was fine.

If you can get this one tightened up a bit with a real solid recording it can be pitched for film placements. Get the vocals to really nail it down with dynamics, so this was a good vocal but don't be afraid to try others a s well. Vocal will sell it even more!
Enjoyed the style and I'm still humming the chorus.

If and when you re-submit the code is 1864 to get it straight to me.

Sincerely,good work
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel & Missinteethincorporated NYC


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Ken Damkier
Hi Mike.
Thanks for accepting my material as is for film and TV placements.
I just can't wait to walk up there to lift my Grammy with Nicole Kidman on my left and Harrison Ford on my right accepting my musical award of the century in front of Obama&wifey.
I'll thank my mother and you for supporting me when others turned their back on me.

End of kidding!


I'm deeply honored by your response Mike.
You are hitting the very spot about my voice.
I never performed singing any of my songs live for the very reasons you've described in your reply.
I've made my bread for many years as a sideman guitarist in Scandinavia but writing lyrics, singing and composing music is quite new to me.
Therefore I'll swallow your advices like a hungry wolf and learn the best I can from them.
I actually talked to pro singers who are friends of mine asking if they would sing some of my songs.
Their reply was, that they could or would not sing my songs, because the lyrics were too personal.
Now your advices makes me decide to walk that road again and find real singers to work with.
After all I've been on the road long enough to wish only to sit at home writing songs, walking smiling to my bank, throwing parties to friends and get up next day before sun is down and work another 24 hours with music.

Looking forward to receive forms and paper work from you to look over and fill out.

Ps...
I had a feeling that you were ignited even more after that Motown call, and I know you did well(-:



Your welcome Ken, Thanks for this reply and for "getting all this"

This thread has done very well, and no fights at all yet, I'm kinda disappointed LOL
I'm as sweet as can be I think? After all I save little mice from being eaten alive by giant snakes smile

Besides who's silly enough to argue with an all Italian lifetime time New Yorker combo? Well? they are out there...

Yes work with others Ken, you can always do and have your OWN thing.I know I can do it all myself but much rather do with others and I'm BETTER with others as well personally. My best work always had other people involved even if in some cases they just stared at me with their mouth open lol

Meant to ask you if you ever saw my friend play in Denmark ever
Gary Owen? Figured a slight possibility.

Thanks
Mike


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Brenda152
Dec. 08, 2009

Brenda McBryde BMI

Dear Mr. Knowitall,
Thank you so much for the opportunity to submit a song for your consideration. I have chosen a male vocal country ballad that I hope hooks you.

All my best,
Brenda McBryde

www.tunesmithpro.ning.com/profile/brendamcbryde

Get To Your Heart
written by: James Ryce/Brenda McBryde


I keep waiting for a day that never comes
And I keep pretending there's love when there's none
I always let you go to watch you fly
But it's better then saying goodbye

I can't get to your heart though for years you know I've tried
And you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
You know that I would beg and plead, to hell with lovers pride
I can't get to your heart, but I can't say goodbye

You call me with plans so mine get rearranged
Then later you tell me your mind has changed
And even when my heart gets cast aside
Its still better then saying goodbye

I can't get to your heart though for years you know I've tried
And you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
You know that I would beg and plead, to hell with lovers pride
I can't get to your heart, but I can't say goodbye


Everyone has to finally draw the line
When there's no hope left in sight
I'll let the light of a new day shine
I Guess I'm saying goodbye


I can't get to your heart so I'll just say goodbye
'Cause you can't force a feeling and still be satisfied
I'll no longer beg and plead, I'll hang on to my pride
I might get to your heart, when you hear me say goodbye

yeah, I might get to your heart, when you hear me say goodbye


Hi Brenda smile

Could not find the song.. every time I clicked this link a different song just starts playing/ lmk

Thanks


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Top 20 Poster
OP Offline
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,997
Originally Posted by Louis
Dear Mr. Know-it-all. I'm a 23y/o, blond, blue eyed, vampire vixen, who is also very cool. I heard your needing some tunes so I thought I'd send this one in, cause everybody tells me I look good when I sing it. Just hit my cell phone and I'll tell you where to send the money...

"Old Tire Swing"

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=100639&songID=8215651



Lyrics
Just you and me
with a breeze in our face
the memory won't fade
takes me to the same place
just you and me what a wonderful thing
swinging on that old tire swing

it's where we dared to dream and make believe
it's where we both had our first kiss
it was a magical midsummers eve
when we were swinging on that old tire swing

sweet summer days
we'd both share in the shade
listening while birds
sing their sweet serenade
just you and me with no reason or rhyme
we always had a real good time

it's where we dared to dream and make believe
it's where we both had our first kiss
it was a magical midsummers eve
when we were swinging on that old tire swing


you went away
broke my heart I recall
I guess we both changed
summer had to turn fall
sometimes at night I still drive by that place
hoping just to see your face

it's where we dared to dream and make believe
it's where we both had our first kiss
it was a magical midsummers eve
when we were swinging on that old tire swing


Louis Twinn
JPF Mp3 Boards

Hi Louis,

I must say I was disappointed by your picture after reading your
letter.
However I was not disappointed with this song. I personally really really like it. It was very well crafted and I enjoyed the melody and feel very much.

This is yet again one of those times where I wish current artists would take more outside songs. A while back I heard a song by Alan Jackson that was so bland in every regard it was so obvious that his name meant everything not the song.

This song for pitching would be a bit tough as in it's a great
"you are the artist song" These days only certain sing about such sentiments and angles,and values. Everyone basically on the charts is just trying to be forceful in showing how clever they can be by fitting everything they see in front of there face into a song.

When there were wonderful artists like say James Taylor or Cat Stevens on the radio every single day, a song like this would be a great fit. I remember hearing "Oh Very Young" for the first time. And being absorbed by the melody feel and tone, and wondrously intrigued by the words.

I'd buy this Lois but I'm not sure I can sell it. And I'm ashamed to say I'm part of business that has to think that way.

If however it can be put across a bit stronger there is a a slight chance of film placement or catching a singer/songwriter who will TAKE ONE IN so to speak.

Will have to pass for now, but I LOVED the work here. To coin an old phrase it's always business never personal.

-----------------
Congratulations!

Your song "This Old Quilt" however is on hold here. It is also an artist type song a bit but has many many strengths that are appealing to me and would be for many singers. The one you sent in was good enough for TV/film placement but I'm thinking album cut at least as well. It's strong in every regard.

Will be in touch on that!

Thanks
Mr Knowitall
Sublevel Music NYC


Thanks!
Peace Mike
Sub

Music & Video's & Photo's
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

Demo/Production & Music Services
http://www.substudiomusic.com







Page 3 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

Link Copied to Clipboard
Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
chriscastle, yasir252, cathennashira, Samwise, HappySousa
21,470 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums117
Topics125,717
Posts1,160,950
Members21,470
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
warriorgirl (2024)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5