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#757014 - 10/04/09 06:37 AM Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Story evolves around Dereks hook, thanks Derek.
If you're reading this one, thanks in advance !

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle
© words by C. Stewart / Joice Marie ( Oct. 3, 2009 )

He lived in a different world than me
Drank every night till he couldn't see

He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle
Really needing help but he didn't yell
Two inches from the bottom of the bottle
And everytime he stood up, he fell

Didn't like it when his head was clear
He found a defense for all his fear

It was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle
Going down the drain, of an open well
Two inches from the bottom of the bottle
But way too close to the problem to tell

His window PANE of life was plastered
Neighbors called him a drunken bastard

He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle
Liquor on his breath for the world to smell
Two inches from the bottom of the bottle
And everytime he stood up, he fell

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Last edited by Calvin; 10/05/09 10:17 PM.
#757334 - 10/05/09 05:41 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Jul 2004
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Pete Larsen Offline
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Pete Larsen  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,537
Lebanon ME U.S.A.
Howdie Doodie you two,
Another nice colab! I was a bit surprised when it didn't turn out to be about a guy bemoaning the emtiness of his brewski. For that, now, I'll have to reexamine my standing with the bottle.
No nits.
Pete


Here we are wracking our brains today
to write lyrics that rhyme
and if we succeed, they'll end up in time
as tommorrow's cliche's...
Pete
#757358 - 10/05/09 07:32 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Pete Larsen]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi ya Pete,

Hope you're doing well today.
Thanks a lot for taking the time !!

Calvin

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#757381 - 10/05/09 09:02 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
KimberlyinNC Offline
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KimberlyinNC  Offline
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North Carolina
Originally Posted by Calvin
Story evolves around Dereks hook, thanks Derek.
If you're reading this one, thanks in advance !

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle
© words by C. Stewart / Joice Marie ( Oct. 3, 2009 )

He lived in a different world than me
Drank every night till he couldn't see

He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle
Really needing help but he didn't yell
Two inches from the bottom of the bottle
And everytime he stood up, he fell

Didn't like it when his head was clear
He found a defense for all his fear

It was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle
Going down the drain, of an open well
Two inches from the bottom of the bottle
But way too close to the problem to tell-not sure on the but way too close, maybe say but too damn close to the problem to tell? just a thought:)
His window pain of life was plastered- not sure on the window pain thing...just my humble opinion:)Neighbors called him a drunken bastard

He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle
Liquor on his breath for the world to smell
Two inches from the bottom of the bottle
And everytime he stood up, he fell

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

I like this alot. Great hook and flow as well:) Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
#757406 - 10/05/09 09:58 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,231
Greg C. Brown Offline
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Greg C. Brown  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 3,231
Suffolk, Virginia, USA
Hi Calvin and Joice. Another good collab.

I like the two line verses and the slightly changed chorus throughout. That's a clever way of structuring this lyric, and I think it works well.

My only nit is in this couplet:

His window pain of life was plastered
Neighbors called him a drunken bastard


First, it should be window pane, although the spelling p-a-i-n could be symbolic of his inner struggle. Problem is you can't see the spelling when the song is sung.

I'm not sure about the word PLASTERED being used to describe the window pain of life. Of course, I know what it means to be plastered (been there a time or two smirk ), and I see what you were shooting for. But I can't get the double meaning when applying it to a window pane. Could just be me being dense.

That's just a minor consideration on my part. This really is good.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#757427 - 10/05/09 11:09 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Greg C. Brown]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Kimberly,

Always nice to see ya.
We thank you for looking at what we're up to & appreciate your comments.
I hope you have a nice day.

Calvin

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#757606 - 10/06/09 03:55 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Greg,

Always nice to see ya drop in on us, thanks for your time & suggestions/comments.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#757806 - 10/07/09 09:58 AM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Pete Larsen]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
HI PETE - Great to see you !! Kim and Greg !!!

You all have some good suggestions.. Thanks so much for the feed back and your time reading and responding,

On the pain/pane --- I really LIKE the sound alike double meanings in songs - I tend to pick those kind of things a lot --- I love when I read a song lyric of someone else that I love --- and see it printed with a different spelling --- either a light bulb goes off with a new meaning to a lyric that I listen to OR I think - is that a Typo --- either way -- I don't get an answer on a Famous song...... somehow cool to me

jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#758309 - 10/08/09 06:32 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,385
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,385
Massachusetts
Hey L & M,

Need to look at this more carefully...and will do so later tonight....just wanted to bump it up because the hook is FAB and I think the song deserves some more attention. grin

Until then, have a groovy afternoon,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#758393 - 10/08/09 11:38 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Beth,

and thanks, glad you're enjoying the hook.
The sister to this one is called...

~~~~~~~^^^DoUBLE JoINTED^^^~~~~~~~

If you get a chance, maybe you could read it ?

Have a good evening.

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/o/calvinstewart

#759070 - 10/11/09 11:39 AM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
Howdy Joice & Calvin, Gus here. good song, have one small polish
for you. Replace "everytime" with "WHENEVER"= same meaning but
rolls off the tongue easier/ better....KOS


PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
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"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#759311 - 10/12/09 07:10 AM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Posts: 19,363
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Steven,

Nice to meet you & welcome to JPF.
Glad you could take a few minutes to read /comment.
Thank you for your suggestions.
We'll look at it.
Have a good day.

^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^

If you get a chance, maybe you could read DoUBLE JoINTED ?

Have a good evening.

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!


Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#759487 - 10/12/09 06:49 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Hi Beth

well thanks for the bump- hope all is well . jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#759489 - 10/12/09 06:51 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Hi Gus

thanks for stopping by...
we'll try singing it both ways ; ) cheers


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#759494 - 10/12/09 07:04 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Joice Marie]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,535
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


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Posts: 10,535
Crozet, VA
It's a picture of a guy in trouble, but it's a little one dimensional. Why is the guy like this? What did he do to deserve this fate?

I think it flows well and might make a fine song, but the lyrics don't tell me much, except that he's drunk all the time and folks don't like him.

Kevin


"It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The 'hard' is what makes it great."
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @ FAWM 2018)
#759601 - 10/13/09 04:02 AM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Steven August Rieck Offline
Steven August Rieck  Offline

Helping Hand

Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,706
Santa Barbara Calif. USA
A Lemon & Mcfartney Production= classic


PLEASE JOIN THE DRIVE TO HELP OUR FOUNDER, BRIAN WHITNEY, RECOVER FROM HIS STROKE! Click on the link below for more info.
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/797695/Main/797695/#Post797695




"One Love One Heart".....Bob Marley
#759763 - 10/13/09 06:00 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Steven August Rieck]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Kevin,

Good to see ya in here.
And thank you for your thoughts on this one.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#759879 - 10/13/09 11:14 PM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,797
Kristi McKeever Offline
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Kristi McKeever  Offline
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,797
USA
Hi Calvin & Joice,

I think this is a well-written sad one..the hook is really interesting....it seems like there would be a lot of ways to sing it. Wondering how you guys will interpret it...

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#759969 - 10/14/09 06:50 AM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Posts: 19,363
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Steven,

glad you can enjoy the L & M, ha.

Calvin

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#759976 - 10/14/09 07:37 AM Re: Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle- colab /Joice Marie [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,363
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Kristi,

We thank you for your time reading & commenting.
Maybe one day we'll have some sound.

Calvin

!! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !!



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


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