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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Story evolves around Dereks hook, thanks Derek. If you're reading this one, thanks in advance ! *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle © words by C. Stewart / Joice Marie ( Oct. 3, 2009 ) He lived in a different world than me Drank every night till he couldn't see He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle Really needing help but he didn't yell Two inches from the bottom of the bottle And everytime he stood up, he fell Didn't like it when his head was clear He found a defense for all his fear It was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle Going down the drain, of an open well Two inches from the bottom of the bottle But way too close to the problem to tell His window PANE of life was plastered Neighbors called him a drunken bastard He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle Liquor on his breath for the world to smell Two inches from the bottom of the bottle And everytime he stood up, he fell !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
Last edited by Calvin; 10/05/09 11:17 PM.
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Joined: Jul 2004
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Serious Contributor
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Howdie Doodie you two,
Another nice colab! I was a bit surprised when it didn't turn out to be about a guy bemoaning the emtiness of his brewski. For that, now, I'll have to reexamine my standing with the bottle.
No nits.
Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today
to write lyrics that rhyme
and if we succeed, they'll end up in time
as tommorrow's cliche's...
Pete
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Hi ya Pete, Hope you're doing well today. Thanks a lot for taking the time !! Calvin !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Story evolves around Dereks hook, thanks Derek. If you're reading this one, thanks in advance ! *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* Two Inches From The Bottom Of The Bottle © words by C. Stewart / Joice Marie ( Oct. 3, 2009 ) He lived in a different world than me Drank every night till he couldn't see He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle Really needing help but he didn't yell Two inches from the bottom of the bottle And everytime he stood up, he fell Didn't like it when his head was clear He found a defense for all his fear It was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle Going down the drain, of an open well Two inches from the bottom of the bottle But way too close to the problem to tell- not sure on the but way too close, maybe say but too damn close to the problem to tell? just a thought:)His window pain of life was plastered- not sure on the window pain thing...just my humble opinion:)Neighbors called him a drunken bastard He was, two inches from the bottom of the bottle Liquor on his breath for the world to smell Two inches from the bottom of the bottle And everytime he stood up, he fell !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Hi Calvin and Joice. Another good collab. I like the two line verses and the slightly changed chorus throughout. That's a clever way of structuring this lyric, and I think it works well. My only nit is in this couplet: His window pain of life was plastered
Neighbors called him a drunken bastard First, it should be window pane, although the spelling p-a-i-n could be symbolic of his inner struggle. Problem is you can't see the spelling when the song is sung. I'm not sure about the word PLASTERED being used to describe the window pain of life. Of course, I know what it means to be plastered (been there a time or two  ), and I see what you were shooting for. But I can't get the double meaning when applying it to a window pane. Could just be me being dense. That's just a minor consideration on my part. This really is good. Greg
If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
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Hi Kimberly, Always nice to see ya. We thank you for looking at what we're up to & appreciate your comments. I hope you have a nice day. Calvin !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hello Greg, Always nice to see ya drop in on us, thanks for your time & suggestions/comments. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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HI PETE - Great to see you !! Kim and Greg !!!
You all have some good suggestions.. Thanks so much for the feed back and your time reading and responding,
On the pain/pane --- I really LIKE the sound alike double meanings in songs - I tend to pick those kind of things a lot --- I love when I read a song lyric of someone else that I love --- and see it printed with a different spelling --- either a light bulb goes off with a new meaning to a lyric that I listen to OR I think - is that a Typo --- either way -- I don't get an answer on a Famous song...... somehow cool to me
jm
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Hey L & M, Need to look at this more carefully...and will do so later tonight....just wanted to bump it up because the hook is FAB and I think the song deserves some more attention.  Until then, have a groovy afternoon, Beth
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Hi Beth, and thanks, glad you're enjoying the hook. The sister to this one is called... ~~~~~~~^^^DoUBLE JoINTED^^^~~~~~~~ If you get a chance, maybe you could read it ? Have a good evening. !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/o/calvinstewart
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Helping Hand
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Howdy Joice & Calvin, Gus here. good song, have one small polish
for you. Replace "everytime" with "WHENEVER"= same meaning but
rolls off the tongue easier/ better....KOS
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Hi Steven, Nice to meet you & welcome to JPF. Glad you could take a few minutes to read /comment. Thank you for your suggestions. We'll look at it. Have a good day. ^^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^^ If you get a chance, maybe you could read DoUBLE JoINTED ? Have a good evening. !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Beth
well thanks for the bump- hope all is well . jm
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Hi Gus
thanks for stopping by...
we'll try singing it both ways ; ) cheers
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It's a picture of a guy in trouble, but it's a little one dimensional. Why is the guy like this? What did he do to deserve this fate?
I think it flows well and might make a fine song, but the lyrics don't tell me much, except that he's drunk all the time and folks don't like him.
Kevin
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Helping Hand
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A Lemon & Mcfartney Production= classic
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Hi Kevin, Good to see ya in here. And thank you for your thoughts on this one. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Calvin & Joice,
I think this is a well-written sad one..the hook is really interesting....it seems like there would be a lot of ways to sing it. Wondering how you guys will interpret it...
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hi Steven, glad you can enjoy the L & M, ha. Calvin !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Kristi, We thank you for your time reading & commenting. Maybe one day we'll have some sound. Calvin !! A LeMoN AnD McFARTneY ProductioN !! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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