This is my first musical post in a very long time. Lots of things going on and my time is extremely limited. I will listen to and nit your songs as I can. I really miss the time I used to have to listen and critique the songs of other JPFers. But, life's itinerary and mine aren't always congruent!

Anyway, hope you might like it. But, let me know either way. All comments are welcomed. The lead guitar is a bit cheesy but can't redo it until my hand gets better...one of these months...maybe. This guitar track was recorded a little over a year ago. I did an acoustic version of this last year, but this one gets the full treatment. Thanks in advance!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=276329&content=songinfo&songID=8162726



Right Hand Man

(v1)
I’m looking for a lover
I ain’t looking for a wife
A wedding band would only serve
To complicate my life
If you wanna be my woman
That’s how it’s gonna be
So if you end up crying
Honey don’t blame me

CHORUS
Cuz I’m a right-hand man, I don’t wear a band
I’m just looking for somebody to hold
Yeah, I’m a right-hand man, you have to understand
I ain’t looking for no left-hand gold

Screaming Guitar!

(v2)
If I promise you forever
Just take it with a sigh
You know that it would be
A fourteen-carat lie
I might give you rubies
Or a topaz crystal blue
But if you’re looking for a diamnond
That’s one thing I can’t do

BRIDGE
Right hand, left hand
The two should never meet
I always try to keep them apart
If the left hand saw
What my right hand did
It might tell it to my heart

Repeat Chorus

Out

© 2009 Alan D. David, BMI

Still waiting for the cheesy guitar to come in....

Must have missed it. I did hear a really cool guitar at the break though.

Nice southern rocker, Al. No nits here - just enjoyed the ride. Right hand man is a great hook - rolls off the tongue really nice.

Scott

Al,
good to see you here. Hope everything is well. This sounds good. a full production would really rock. I have to ask why no chorus between v2 and bridge?

It's a great hook and well supported. If I were to make any suggestion it would be to switch lines 2 & 4 of the chorus.

How is Helen?

have fun,
John

I started getting into southern rock with ABB and early Lynard Skynard, so I like this stuff. I like the "screaming guitar" lyric part (LOL). The little rhythm change up was nice and the overall music had a good rockin' feel to it.

I'm betting that this guy falls in love, gets married, mows the lawn on Saturdays and goes to Wal*Mart for his wife to pick up diapers. He might slip some beer in there, though, for Sunday football games.

Fun song

Scott,

Thanks for the listen and the kind words. Glad you liked it. And that guitar part is ***REAL*** cheesy!It's way too busy, particualrly at the end of the riff. The timing is also off for a few seconds just a little half way through it.

But, thanks for not noticing! Allthe best.

Alan

John!

Good too hear from you. First, Helen is doing about the same...bad days and not quite so bad. I'll pass on your greeting to her. She'll appreciate it, I'm sure. And that cake sure was good...it lasted only three days!

Glad you like the song. And GREAT call on that lyric note. When I recut it, I'll make that change in the chorus.

There are two reasons I didn't so a chorus before the bridge, after verse 2: 1) It wuld have taken the song to about 3:35 oy 3:40 and I wanted to keep it close to 3:00. 2) the transition foron the end of the chorus is not as smooth into the bridge as the end of the verse is. I'm referring to the music, not the lyric.


Thanks again for the great idea on the chorus and for the nice comments. Wishing you and your family all the best.

Alan

Kevin...


Thanks a bunch! I'll take a seal of approval from you any day of the week.I'm not a natural rocker...I have to work at it pretty hard. I'm more Country, Smooth Jazz and Adult Contemporary.

And I'm with ya on Lynyrd Skynyrd. Those guys could smoke the stage! And they were great musicians in the genre, too!

Thaniks for the nice comments. I do appreciate them. Glad ya liked it a bit. All the best.

Alan

Al I know you like it straight, so straight up this is very good and your playing is superior. Lots of energy. I think you can do away w/some of the cymbal effects at the end of alot of your lines and only put it where you want the drama, maybe in the Chorus only and especially in the Final Chorus. Put some suggestions/ideas in (paranthesis) to help even out meter. Just ideas. Good lyrics but wasn't sure about some of the bridge lyrics, maybe they could be stronger. Maybe somethin like: (and it's just an idea)

I'm not the type to settle down
So darlin' don't hold hope
It's not that I don't think your nice
It just don't float my boat


I’m looking for a lover
I ain’t looking for a wife
A wedding band would only serve
To complicate my life
If you wanna be my woman
That’s how it’s gonna be
So if you end up crying (And if you end up cryin')
Honey don’t(you) blame ole' me (Well don't put your blame on me)

CHORUS
Cuz I’m a right-hand man, I don’t wear a (wedding)band
I’m just looking for somebody to hold
Yeah, I’m a right-hand man, you have to understand
I ain’t looking for no left-hand gold

Screaming Guitar!

(v2)
If I promise you forever
Just take it with a sigh
You know that it would be
A fourteen-carat lie
I might give you (shiny)rubies
Or a topaz crystal blue
But if you’re looking for a diamnond
That’s (the)one thing I can’t do

BRIDGE
Right hand, left hand
The two should never meet
I always try to keep them apart
If the left hand saw
What my right hand did
It might tell it to my heart

Repeat Chorus

Out

Just some thoughts Al.

Best,
Lynn

Hi Al,

Great to see you back with one!
Doesn't it feel good to strangle those strings sometimes?

I loved the lyric flow on this, Al - one of your best this season IMO

Al David....."cheesy guitar" are you kidding me.....lol....I wish I could play half as "cheesy" as you.....lol....love the music....nice effort....good hook and chorus......enjoyed it...

Hope all is well as can be for you.....Bob

Hi Lynn!

It is, indeed, a pleasure to hear from you. You are the "Lovely Lyrical Lady" of JPF. Sorry for the tardy reply, but things a really hectic these days.

I agree with you about the cymbals. However, they are part of the drum package I am using and i cannot remove them without also losing the snare and kick drum. And the other drum packages are too vani9lla...no life or drive. So, I'm kinda stuck with them. But, we do agree!

As far as the bridge, I really want to keep the analogy of the hands represent9ng the differences in his thoughts. But I like the lines you offered and might try to use them elsewhere.

I agree with al the other suggestions you made for tightening the lyric. When I redo this one, I'll make those changes.

Thank you so much for your suggestions. Hope you have a terrific weekend. Wishing you everything good!

Alan

Hi Lynn!

It is, indeed, a pleasure to hear from you. You are the "Lovely Lyrical Lady" of JPF. Sorry for the tardy reply, but things a really hectic these days.

I agree with you about the cymbals. However, they are part of the drum package I am using and i cannot remove them without also losing the snare and kick drum. And the other drum packages are too vani9lla...no life or drive. So, I'm kinda stuck with them. But, we do agree!

As far as the bridge, I really want to keep the analogy of the hands representing the differences in his thoughts. But I like the lines you offered and might try to use them elsewhere.

I agree with al the other suggestions you made for tightening the lyric. When I redo this one, I'll make those changes.

Thank you so much for your suggestions. Hope you have a terrific weekend. Wishing you everything good!

Alan

Hello Mags!

Thank you for taking the time to listen and offer your comments. I'm delighte3d you like this one. And yeah, putting a srangle-hold on those strings can be exhilerating...good therapy!

Thanks again. Hope your weekend is super.

Alan

Hello Bob, husband of the lovely Terri!

She really is a lot prettier than you, Bob! Glad this one works for you. I'vebeen working in it, off and on, for almost two years. It's starting to shaoe up pretty good now.

The lead is a bit cheesy! It's way to busy going back to the vocal and is too repetitive in a couple of places. But,until I recut it, that's what we have.

Helen and I are doing as good as can be expected. here are good days and bad days...hoping to keep the good ones more frequent than the others.

I was a real delight hearing from you. I miss your great singing. Hope all is well with you and Terri. Have a great weekend!

Alan

Very rhythmic lyrics. I could hear the beat, and almost imagine the tune, even before listening :-)
Good title - intriguing.

Hi Alan,

Yeah, it's sad, sad, sad that your playing has suffered so much with your sore right hand -- NOT!! What are we going to do when you get "better"?

Anyhoo, this is a classic: great play on words, just the right amount of attitude, and oh yeah, some pretty fancy guitar work.

I have to admit, this piggy ole mind was wondering just what your right hand did -- but methinks it was a little bit south of your heart! Am I reading too much into things AGAIN!?

Regardless, I enjoyed this a lot Alan. I'm sure Helen loved this one -- LOL! Send her my love....

Beth

Sparrow,

Welcome to JPF. And thank you very much! I'll be rerecording this with some of ther suggestions offered here. Thanks for your kind words.

Alan

Beth,

Hi! Good to hear from you. And thanks for your kind comments.

The guitar riff was recorded a little over a year ago...before I injured my hand. But, none-the-less, it's still pretty cheesy.

As far as the right hand - left hand thing, it'simply a contrast and compare of lifestyles. The right hand (which never wears a wedding ring) is having a great time with all those ladies and doesn't need to worry about commitment. The left hand wears the wedding band, if there is one, and if it saw all the fun the right hand ewas having, it would want to have permanent commitment to one of those fine ladies. It's metaphoric.

I'll pass your greetings onto Helen. And here's wishing you everything good! Luv & hugs to ya!

Alan

Hi Alan,

Cool rocker, especially the "screaming guitar"! Some good suggestions to tighten up the lyrics have already been given. Just a little more work and you have a keeper.

Ricki

Hi Ricki...

Just saw your reply. The screaming guitar needs a bit of an attutude adjustment...it's a little too busy in places. Some of the suggestions on the lyric will be in the redo. Thanks for the kind words!

Alan

Hi Alan,

Cheesy guitar.....you're modest & that's cool.
So is the song, good work.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin,

Good to hear from you! Glad it works for you! But, it is cheesy...amd that;s the truth! Thanks, my friend.

Alan

Well, I'll drink some wine with that cheese, 'cause I surely enjoyed it! Good rocker! I wish I could play that "cheesy"!

Polly,

Thanks a bunch. If my hand ever heals, I'll recut and you will be able to tell the difference. None-the-less, thank you!

I'm not a wine drinker, but I'll have some of that cheese! It'll fit right in as we listen to the song! Nothing against wine...I just don't like it. The best I ever drank, the best according to the folks I was with - $86.00 for the bottle, tasted like soemthing from a heavily polluted stream. I just don't have a taste for it. I've tried at least 35 or 40 different "good" wines at the insistence of my friends...they all tasted absolutlely horrible! No recommendations please...I'm done with it! I guess I'm not sophisticated enough to appreciate it!!??

Again, I thank you for the kind words in the song.

Alan

Al,

This is cute and I like it alot, made me smile, and I haven't done that in a while myself..too busy working, but this did make me smile..love the lyrics and the guitar is great to me..no cheese here..glyn

Always like a little cheese with my southern rock, but someone must have taken it 'cause I can't find any. Great song. Loved the guitar.

Rick

Hi Glyn,

Thanks for the listen. And I'm delighted I could make you smile. That means as much as anything you could have said. And thanks for letting me know! Wishing all good things!

Alan

Rick,

So good to see you on the JPF Forums! Glad you're likng this one. Thanks a bunch! And the cheese is on me!

Alan