Okay, I will be brave. This was written before I asked about bridges. Please advise: Should verse three be revised into a bridge?


The Lord Sent a Cowboy

Lyrics by Pam Bowen


Her bedroom door kept slammin'.
Her cell phone buzzed all night.
Her anger spoiled her pretty face,
Filled her dad and me with fright.
Lying high-school haters
Had her thinking suicide
When the Lord sent her a cowboy
To turn the awful tide.

(Chorus):
The Lord sent her a cowboy
In answer to our prayers,
To save our darlin' daughter
From the modern urban snares
Like texting and sexting,
Hip-hop and flip-flops,
Bling-bling and nose-rings,
And Starbucks and hook-ups.

This cowboy took my daughter's arm,
He tipped his hat and said,
“Let me keep you safe from harm
And show you how life's led.
It's made of faith and family,
Hard work and hearty fun,
A sky above and dusty boots,
And a canter in the sun.”

(Chorus)

She left behind the rave scene,
The ecstasy and such.
She chiseled off her make-up
And doesn't text so much.
Her spike heels turned to cowboy boots;
The two-step's now her dance.
Her cowboy friend is teaching her
The meaning of romance.

(Chorus)

© 2009

Hi Pam

welcome to jpf

If you post your lyric in the LYRIC Forum -- you will get more feedback. I'll come back to read when I have a few more minutes. ; ) jm

I like the storyline. Me, I'd say it still needs a bridge. verse 3 is fine as a verse, because it's similar to the first verse, and shows the comparison between the start at the end :-) but thing about a 3rd verse is that the song then gets pretty long....

Thanks, Sparrow!
Glad you found my song, even though I posted it in the wrong place. I agree that a bridge and a third verse both would make it too long. Hmmm...
---Pam Bowen

Hold the bridge. This song doesn't need it in my opinion. Not every song needs a bridge. The lyrics are straight forward and the story is easy to understand, good song.

It is OK as is. Not every song needs a bridge or even a chorus for that matter. The one warning though is that the verses and chorus are quite long compared to some songs so be careful that the melody is not boringly repetetive and the chorus has a different feel and direction.

Thanks, Everett and Jim. The way people talk about bridges, i thought they were required. My collaborator is coming over today to work on the music. I'll pass on your comments.
Cheers!
Pam Bowen

Pam

I like your song--Maybe a little stiff and a bit long.

But listen--If you put the song in first person: Killer--Your bedroom door--Your cell
.......Your lying friends ...Your life...MAYBE ANOTHER SONG.....Your Dream, The Cowboy to rescue YOU.

Respectfully,

Mackie Humphries

Thanks, Mackie,
Yes, someone else said that my speaker is too old (40+) for today's singers. If I put it in the teenager's point of view I might get farther. Is that what you meant by stiff? Too parental?
--Pam

Pam,

I grew up in an orphanage--All the older folks watched us with a hawk eye.

Most records are bought by consumers , mid-twenty's and younger. I meant the detailed parental watchful eye--the younger generation has a different point of view
that can be suspect of our generation; and they are very well informed today.

Just My Opinion. I like the general story!

Respectfully,

Mackie Humphries