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#754749 09/25/09 08:16 AM
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Calvin Offline OP
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Kill A Man
© words by C. Stewart ( Sept 14, 2009 )

A common way to kill a man
Take away his smile
Leave his poor old broken heart
Rotting in a pile

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold

CHORUS...
When the sun goes down behind his cloud
And his music just won't play
Strangers wave goodby to him
Is this his final day

A common way to kill a man
Makes ya wonder why
He's drinking from a paper bag
Sadness in his eye

A better way to kill a man
Is hang him from a rope
Let him dangle, let him strangle
Take away his hope

CHORUS...
When the lights go out, the ride slows down
And his music just won't play
The devil says hello to him
Like it's his darkest day

CHORUS...
When the sun goes down behind his cloud
And his music just won't play
Strangers wave goodby to him
Is this his final day









Calvin #754750 09/25/09 08:41 AM
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I enjoyed this muchly, Calvin. Very thought-provoking.
I especially like this verse:

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold

Your lyric also brought to mind one of my favourite poems.
It's called "5 Ways to Kill a Man" by Edwin Brock (1927-1997).
It's too long to reproduce here, but the last 3 lines are:

"... Simpler, direct, and much more neat
Is to see that he is living somewhere in the middle
Of the twentieth century, and leave him there."

(One could easily replace "twentieth century" with "twenty-first century".

Your lyric expresses well the kind of dehumanisation and lack of compassion Brock was referring to.

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




Calvin #754759 09/25/09 10:15 AM
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HiDee NeighborGuy!

Fine Song, Amigo...no nits whatsoever...tho do have a Sug:

"And then..he fades away" for your Last Line...insteada ending it all With A Question.

Thataways, "Completion".

Overall "KUDOS" & Good Luck with a Nice Sad One!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

#754771 09/25/09 11:17 AM
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Very interesting and poetic. I like it :-)

sparrow #754776 09/25/09 11:31 AM
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Calvin Offline OP
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Hi Donna,

Good to see ya, thanks so much for giving this one a few minutes of your day.
I'm not familiar with Ed...but his work sounds interesting for sure.
THANKS.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #754788 09/25/09 12:08 PM
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Hey Calvin!

Solid lyrics, thought provoking, and unfortunately reality. No doubt there are many people going through the motions of life today with a dead spirit. Good work!

Best, John smile


Calvin #754846 09/25/09 04:42 PM
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Chilling Calvin but very true as to taking away things we all need...Great stuff...:)

Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
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KimberlyinNC #754855 09/25/09 05:04 PM
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I like the line "when the lights go out and the ride slows down"...I think that ride thing is very original.

redwing

Janet Snow #754869 09/25/09 05:53 PM
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Calvin Offline OP
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Hi Neighbor Stan,

Hope you're doing well.
I do appreciate you reading/commenting, THANKS.
Your suggestion is certainly workable.
Have a great weekend.


Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #754871 09/25/09 05:56 PM
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Hello Sparrow,

Nice to meet ya !
And, thanks for taking a look at this one.
Glad you approve.
Have a great weekend.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #754997 09/26/09 09:42 AM
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Calvin Offline OP
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Hi John,

Thanks for giving me the time of day here, much appreciated.
Have a good weekend.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #754998 09/26/09 09:47 AM
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Hi Kimberly,

I hope things are well with you.
Thanks a bunch for taking a peek at this one.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #754999 09/26/09 10:23 AM
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One of your best IMHO.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


Colin Ward #755090 09/26/09 04:36 PM
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Calvin Offline OP
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Hello redwing !!

Glad you stopped by to read my lyrics.
I certainly appreciate that.
And your comments are quite flattering, thank you.

Calvin


http;//www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #755091 09/26/09 04:38 PM
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Calvin Offline OP
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Hi Colin,

~T H A N K S~

Maybe one day it will have decent music with it.

Have a great weekend.

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #755113 09/26/09 05:56 PM
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Hi Calvin....

Very nice, like Donna says...thought provoking. I like Stans sugg, but I also like what you have so I'd say, it be your feeling that counts.

Love the chorus...btw...very cool.


Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
Calvin #755118 09/26/09 06:39 PM
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Hi Calvin!

Totally IMPRESSIVE write !

very sad especially this part

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold


I have often felt, when I think about the Incarcerated people, what cruel punishment, because they don't let the prisoners touch or kiss their families......

I think loosing freedom would be bad -- among other other things -- but THAT would be the worst.....

Anyway - well done !
jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
Calvin #755170 09/26/09 11:38 PM
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Hi Calvin,

Wow, excellent juxtapositions here. At the outset, you propose a somewhat dry theoretical dissemination of the topic -- but then you go on to cite "techniques" which humanize him in a very real, yet subtle, and ultimately tragic way. By employing methods which are akin to the historical "chinese water torture" -- you successfully convey that his "death" will be neither swift nor easy. It will be agonizing.

This is a sad one indeed Calvin...the melancholy just oozes from one verse to the next. I'm going to agree with Joice on a favorite section, though:

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold


The quintessential death-sentence!! eek

Anyhoo, I look forward to hearing this one musicated. I definitely feel a Death Row Blues sort of vibe!!

Thanks for sharing this (and glad I remember how to comment!)....

Have a good evening,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
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Hi Caroline,

Good to see ya girl !
Thanks for the visit & the comments too.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #755366 09/28/09 12:13 AM
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Dude,
very well done. I like Stan's sugg too. Very very good poetic lyric.

have fun,
John


Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
John Hoffman #755417 09/28/09 07:37 AM
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Hi McFARTneY :-)

*********T H A N K S**********

looking forward to the music.

LeMoN

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #755418 09/28/09 07:38 AM
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Hi Beth,

Glad you could stop in for the read, thanks for your comments.
Have a good day.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Calvin #755610 09/28/09 10:22 PM
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Calvin Offline OP
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Hi ya John,

Glad you could give this one a read.....as always, thank you !

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


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