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Joined: Apr 2002
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Kill A Man © words by C. Stewart ( Sept 14, 2009 )
A common way to kill a man Take away his smile Leave his poor old broken heart Rotting in a pile
A common way to kill a man Put his love on hold A thousand days without a kiss The world seems so cold
CHORUS... When the sun goes down behind his cloud And his music just won't play Strangers wave goodby to him Is this his final day
A common way to kill a man Makes ya wonder why He's drinking from a paper bag Sadness in his eye
A better way to kill a man Is hang him from a rope Let him dangle, let him strangle Take away his hope
CHORUS... When the lights go out, the ride slows down And his music just won't play The devil says hello to him Like it's his darkest day
CHORUS... When the sun goes down behind his cloud And his music just won't play Strangers wave goodby to him Is this his final day
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Joined: Aug 2008
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I enjoyed this muchly, Calvin. Very thought-provoking. I especially like this verse:
A common way to kill a man Put his love on hold A thousand days without a kiss The world seems so cold
Your lyric also brought to mind one of my favourite poems. It's called "5 Ways to Kill a Man" by Edwin Brock (1927-1997). It's too long to reproduce here, but the last 3 lines are:
"... Simpler, direct, and much more neat Is to see that he is living somewhere in the middle Of the twentieth century, and leave him there."
(One could easily replace "twentieth century" with "twenty-first century".
Your lyric expresses well the kind of dehumanisation and lack of compassion Brock was referring to.
Donna
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Joined: Jul 2010
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HiDee NeighborGuy!
Fine Song, Amigo...no nits whatsoever...tho do have a Sug:
"And then..he fades away" for your Last Line...insteada ending it all With A Question.
Thataways, "Completion".
Overall "KUDOS" & Good Luck with a Nice Sad One!
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Joined: May 2009
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Casual Observer
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Very interesting and poetic. I like it :-)
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Hi Donna, Good to see ya, thanks so much for giving this one a few minutes of your day. I'm not familiar with Ed...but his work sounds interesting for sure. THANKS. http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Hey Calvin! Solid lyrics, thought provoking, and unfortunately reality. No doubt there are many people going through the motions of life today with a dead spirit. Good work! Best, John
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Joined: Nov 2008
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Chilling Calvin but very true as to taking away things we all need...Great stuff...:)
Kim
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 433
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I like the line "when the lights go out and the ride slows down"...I think that ride thing is very original.
redwing
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Hello Sparrow, Nice to meet ya ! And, thanks for taking a look at this one. Glad you approve. Have a great weekend. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi John, Thanks for giving me the time of day here, much appreciated. Have a good weekend. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Kimberly, I hope things are well with you. Thanks a bunch for taking a peek at this one. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: May 2006
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Hello redwing !!
Glad you stopped by to read my lyrics. I certainly appreciate that. And your comments are quite flattering, thank you.
Calvin
http;//www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Colin, ~T H A N K S~ Maybe one day it will have decent music with it. Have a great weekend. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Hi Calvin....
Very nice, like Donna says...thought provoking. I like Stans sugg, but I also like what you have so I'd say, it be your feeling that counts.
Love the chorus...btw...very cool.
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Hi Calvin!
Totally IMPRESSIVE write !
very sad especially this part
A common way to kill a man Put his love on hold A thousand days without a kiss The world seems so cold
I have often felt, when I think about the Incarcerated people, what cruel punishment, because they don't let the prisoners touch or kiss their families......
I think loosing freedom would be bad -- among other other things -- but THAT would be the worst.....
Anyway - well done ! jm
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Hi Calvin, Wow, excellent juxtapositions here. At the outset, you propose a somewhat dry theoretical dissemination of the topic -- but then you go on to cite "techniques" which humanize him in a very real, yet subtle, and ultimately tragic way. By employing methods which are akin to the historical "chinese water torture" -- you successfully convey that his "death" will be neither swift nor easy. It will be agonizing. This is a sad one indeed Calvin...the melancholy just oozes from one verse to the next. I'm going to agree with Joice on a favorite section, though: A common way to kill a man Put his love on hold A thousand days without a kiss The world seems so cold The quintessential death-sentence!! Anyhoo, I look forward to hearing this one musicated. I definitely feel a Death Row Blues sort of vibe!! Thanks for sharing this (and glad I remember how to comment!).... Have a good evening, Beth
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Hi Caroline, Good to see ya girl ! Thanks for the visit & the comments too. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: Feb 2006
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Dude, very well done. I like Stan's sugg too. Very very good poetic lyric.
have fun, John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Hi McFARTneY :-) *********T H A N K S********** looking forward to the music. LeMoN http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Beth, Glad you could stop in for the read, thanks for your comments. Have a good day. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi ya John, Glad you could give this one a read.....as always, thank you ! Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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