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#754749 - 09/25/09 07:16 AM Kill A Man  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Kill A Man
words by C. Stewart ( Sept 14, 2009 )

A common way to kill a man
Take away his smile
Leave his poor old broken heart
Rotting in a pile

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold

CHORUS...
When the sun goes down behind his cloud
And his music just won't play
Strangers wave goodby to him
Is this his final day

A common way to kill a man
Makes ya wonder why
He's drinking from a paper bag
Sadness in his eye

A better way to kill a man
Is hang him from a rope
Let him dangle, let him strangle
Take away his hope

CHORUS...
When the lights go out, the ride slows down
And his music just won't play
The devil says hello to him
Like it's his darkest day

CHORUS...
When the sun goes down behind his cloud
And his music just won't play
Strangers wave goodby to him
Is this his final day









#754750 - 09/25/09 07:41 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Aug 2008
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DonnaMarilyn Offline
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DonnaMarilyn  Offline
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Posts: 4,666
Netherlands
I enjoyed this muchly, Calvin. Very thought-provoking.
I especially like this verse:

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold

Your lyric also brought to mind one of my favourite poems.
It's called "5 Ways to Kill a Man" by Edwin Brock (1927-1997).
It's too long to reproduce here, but the last 3 lines are:

"... Simpler, direct, and much more neat
Is to see that he is living somewhere in the middle
Of the twentieth century, and leave him there."

(One could easily replace "twentieth century" with "twenty-first century".

Your lyric expresses well the kind of dehumanisation and lack of compassion Brock was referring to.

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




#754759 - 09/25/09 09:15 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
HiDee NeighborGuy!

Fine Song, Amigo...no nits whatsoever...tho do have a Sug:

"And then..he fades away" for your Last Line...insteada ending it all With A Question.

Thataways, "Completion".

Overall "KUDOS" & Good Luck with a Nice Sad One!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

#754771 - 09/25/09 10:17 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: ]  
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 41
sparrow Offline
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sparrow  Offline
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 41
Very interesting and poetic. I like it :-)

#754776 - 09/25/09 10:31 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: sparrow]  
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Donna,

Good to see ya, thanks so much for giving this one a few minutes of your day.
I'm not familiar with Ed...but his work sounds interesting for sure.
THANKS.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#754788 - 09/25/09 11:08 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 9,751
John Lawrence Schick Offline
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Posts: 9,751
PA
Hey Calvin!

Solid lyrics, thought provoking, and unfortunately reality. No doubt there are many people going through the motions of life today with a dead spirit. Good work!

Best, John smile


#754846 - 09/25/09 03:42 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
KimberlyinNC Offline
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KimberlyinNC  Offline
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North Carolina
Chilling Calvin but very true as to taking away things we all need...Great stuff...:)

Kim


*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!**
BMI Member All Rights Reserved
http://www.littleikepublishing.com
Email for Song Business Only
littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
#754855 - 09/25/09 04:04 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: KimberlyinNC]  
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 433
Janet Snow Offline
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Janet Snow  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 433
Kentucky, USA
I like the line "when the lights go out and the ride slows down"...I think that ride thing is very original.

redwing

#754869 - 09/25/09 04:53 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Janet Snow]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Neighbor Stan,

Hope you're doing well.
I do appreciate you reading/commenting, THANKS.
Your suggestion is certainly workable.
Have a great weekend.


Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#754871 - 09/25/09 04:56 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello Sparrow,

Nice to meet ya !
And, thanks for taking a look at this one.
Glad you approve.
Have a great weekend.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#754997 - 09/26/09 08:42 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Hi John,

Thanks for giving me the time of day here, much appreciated.
Have a good weekend.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#754998 - 09/26/09 08:47 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Kimberly,

I hope things are well with you.
Thanks a bunch for taking a peek at this one.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#754999 - 09/26/09 09:23 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Colin Ward Offline
Colin Ward  Offline

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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 7,909
Saint Petersburg. FL
One of your best IMHO.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


#755090 - 09/26/09 03:36 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Colin Ward]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hello redwing !!

Glad you stopped by to read my lyrics.
I certainly appreciate that.
And your comments are quite flattering, thank you.

Calvin


http;//www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#755091 - 09/26/09 03:38 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Colin,

~T H A N K S~

Maybe one day it will have decent music with it.

Have a great weekend.

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#755113 - 09/26/09 04:56 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Caroline Offline
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Caroline  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Texas
Hi Calvin....

Very nice, like Donna says...thought provoking. I like Stans sugg, but I also like what you have so I'd say, it be your feeling that counts.

Love the chorus...btw...very cool.


Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
#755118 - 09/26/09 05:39 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Hi Calvin!

Totally IMPRESSIVE write !

very sad especially this part

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold


I have often felt, when I think about the Incarcerated people, what cruel punishment, because they don't let the prisoners touch or kiss their families......

I think loosing freedom would be bad -- among other other things -- but THAT would be the worst.....

Anyway - well done !
jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#755170 - 09/26/09 10:38 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hi Calvin,

Wow, excellent juxtapositions here. At the outset, you propose a somewhat dry theoretical dissemination of the topic -- but then you go on to cite "techniques" which humanize him in a very real, yet subtle, and ultimately tragic way. By employing methods which are akin to the historical "chinese water torture" -- you successfully convey that his "death" will be neither swift nor easy. It will be agonizing.

This is a sad one indeed Calvin...the melancholy just oozes from one verse to the next. I'm going to agree with Joice on a favorite section, though:

A common way to kill a man
Put his love on hold
A thousand days without a kiss
The world seems so cold


The quintessential death-sentence!! eek

Anyhoo, I look forward to hearing this one musicated. I definitely feel a Death Row Blues sort of vibe!!

Thanks for sharing this (and glad I remember how to comment!)....

Have a good evening,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#755244 - 09/27/09 11:35 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Caroline,

Good to see ya girl !
Thanks for the visit & the comments too.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#755366 - 09/27/09 11:13 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199
John Hoffman Offline
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John Hoffman  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199
St. Peters, Mo.
Dude,
very well done. I like Stan's sugg too. Very very good poetic lyric.

have fun,
John


Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
#755417 - 09/28/09 06:37 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: John Hoffman]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi McFARTneY :-)

*********T H A N K S**********

looking forward to the music.

LeMoN

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#755418 - 09/28/09 06:38 AM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Beth,

Glad you could stop in for the read, thanks for your comments.
Have a good day.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#755610 - 09/28/09 09:22 PM Re: Kill A Man [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2002
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi ya John,

Glad you could give this one a read.....as always, thank you !

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart


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