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#754357 - 09/23/09 05:34 PM Tomorrow's Rain  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 10
Mark Wohlfahrt Offline
Casual Observer
Mark Wohlfahrt  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 10
Tampa, Fl
Revising this song!

Last edited by Mark Wohlfahrt; 08/14/15 01:21 AM.
#754365 - 09/23/09 06:05 PM Re: Tomorrow's Rain [Re: Mark Wohlfahrt]  
Joined: Aug 2007
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Janice Hopkins  Offline
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697

I can totally hear this. I can tell that you wrote this to a fine head tune....flows pretty well for me.

At first the alREADY READY for Tomorrow's Rain made me stumble a bit....but as I read on with it and heard it in your double chorus and tag out, I felt that it was certainly part of it's charm.

I'm hearing a ballad....Diercks Bentley....maybe Keith Urban sort of a feel with this one.

One very fine entry as your first go 'round, Mark. I am liking it alot. See what others think.

Now find a composer for it....


Last edited by Janice Hopkins; 09/23/09 06:06 PM.
#754366 - 09/23/09 06:13 PM Re: Tomorrow's Rain [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline

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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Crozet, VA
Very nice write. Flows very well.

I am not convinced yet that this section adds anything yet.

and i cant forget all those sleepless nights
thinking of you i stayed up and cried
remembering the fun we had then
but ill never forget.........hmmmmm

I would consider the stanza just before it the bridge and then just say:

but ill never forget.........

and go to the chorus. Just an idea, but it seems to have a very good natural flow to it -- and that is sometimes the hardest part.


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#754524 - 09/24/09 09:37 AM Re: Tomorrow's Rain [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 41
sparrow Offline
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sparrow  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: May 2009
Posts: 41
I like the imagery of tomorrow's rain...

#754528 - 09/24/09 09:53 AM Re: Tomorrow's Rain [Re: Mark Wohlfahrt]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
HIDee New Bro Mark!

Glad to see a Fellow Writer in TampaTown...drop by the Clock Shop at MacDill/Kennedy when you're nearby sometime!

This is pretty good overall. Ya got a Time Problem here...Singer's hearing "Tomorrow's Rain"...THEN ya shoot him into The Future. (& it's No Longer "Tomorrow's Rain"..is it?)

"I WANT to move on where the skies are blue/
PRAY to God, & he's told me to/
Go out more, & make new friends/
Find a woman who loves me to the end/

STILL I can't forget...etc."

KOS..but that feels like your "Fix", Amigo!

Good Luck with a Good'n'...(& maybe group your lines into more of a Normal Verse Structure?/LABEL them Verses/Choruses/& Bridges, eh?) I usually add "All Rights Reserved" after the (C) data...since Overseas it's Required to sustain a (C) suit.

Best Wishes/Welcome to Da Board/ & a Big Guy-Hug,

#754562 - 09/24/09 12:06 PM Re: Tomorrow's Rain [Re: ]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Caroline Offline
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Caroline  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
No, I totally disagree with Janice, I hear Blake Shelton tackling this. I do hear the melody as well, it sounds good to me. Very smooth!

Sorry, I couldn't help that.....

Nice visual...one issue I have with this, I don't see what benifit Tomorrow's Rain will bring to the singer....will it wash away the stale memories?...will it lead to brighter days? There's nothing that leads to your title, that's not important if you're writing this for your self to listen to, but if you're wanting to pitch to an artist, publisher or anyone who will perform, you need to tie your title to the chorus at the very least, and it could be tied into the verses too.


you broke my heart into a million pieces
they fall down on me with a million unknown reasons
I can't wash the hurt away with the suns warm rays
I'm ready, (so ready), for Tomorrows Rain

But, this is just a sugg. There are no rules in writing, however, depending on what you plan for your work, you will want to get some insight into how genre's are set up (in a loose, basic way) and follow, to some extent, those directions. There is nothing that says...anywhere...that one lyric must be one way, in one genres, but your title does have to fit your song.

Sorry, I don't mean to be hard on you, this is just my opinion, everyone will have their own...I am not anyone, so I don't expect you to take anything I say seriously. I'm just stating what I see, which is probably different than what others see. Don't take anything I say personally.



Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
#755453 - 09/28/09 11:20 AM Re: Tomorrow's Rain [Re: Caroline]  
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 10
Mark Wohlfahrt Offline
Casual Observer
Mark Wohlfahrt  Offline
Casual Observer

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 10
Tampa, Fl
Sorry for the late reply. I've been writing and working on my other business.

Thank you for all your suggestions and comments on this one.

I have my friends friend making music from the piano for this one.

It actually flows pretty good, and I'll post it up when its complete.

Thanks again!

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