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Hi everyone....Here is another one from Mags and I. This time, my co-lyricist is Steve(Gus)Rieck. Please welcome him to JPF. He's a very fine writer. It is meant to be a female vocal, but Magne is singing it for this first go 'round....so please envision a female....even though his voice is like pure velvet.

http://www.soundclick.com/janicehopkins


Good Luck With That © 2009 Janice Hopkins/Steve Rieck/Magne Kolstad

Stood there lookin’ so sure of myself
Him repeating time would tell
He’d make millions with his get rich schemes
In one ear and out like all his crazy dreams

Bag the twelve pointer, hook the big bass
Drive a new Hummer with our lottery cash
I’d pick the color, like that’s a fact
Said he’s sick and tired of my talkin’ smack

Told him….Yeah, Good Luck With That….

Chorus:

He’s got his plans
Well, I got some too
But, seems they fit
Like two left shoes
No Manna’s from Heaven
‘Til you pay your dues
He said, can’t we take another chance…Honey
I looked him up and down and laughed
Yeah, Good Luck With That

Lost out of town, won’t ask directions
Calls me up whinin’ from an intersection
Couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag
Claims if he tried he’d probably make it back

Yeah, Good Luck With That….

Repeat Chorus:

Bridge:

He says day
I say night
Nothin’s left
Says he’ll make it right
He’ll change my mind later on tonight
When I feel his Midas touch…….
Yeah…..Good Luck!

Repeat Chorus…

Hey All,

Pretty song. Nice and natural.

Magne ! What's up mate ? Vocal from the left speaker, guitar from the right ! Fix it ! I'm about to fall off the cliff. LOL

Other than that, it's just a likeable, listenable song. Nice write you guys, just mellow, and well projected. I'm thinking it sounds good with a male vocalist, yet is a female song. Why not have it gender neutral, from the "eye of God" perspective, and take it from there ? Just a thought.

cheers, niteshift

PS - Oh, I get it now, being at the bottom side of the world, ya'll thoght you might throw me of my chair. Too easy to do.

I listen under headphones and I can't handle the hard Left-Right separation. Great sounding slide, the melody sounds real good and the lyrics sound fine, too.

Kevin

Niteshift,

Hey, thanks for weighing in on this one and for the heads up on the production issue....we have that taken care of as of now...we think...so listen again, if you can.

We thank you for the suggestions to ponder as well...we will certainly consider that.....and you came all the way from "down under' to do it. It is so appreciated.

Jan and all

Hi Jan, Gus here. I wanted to thank you for letting me participate in this adventure, & I needed to give a big,
thumbs up & special thanks to Magne for the great music
& vocals. I truely appreciate it. Pards, Gus

Kevin,

Thanks so much for giving this worktape a listen....hope you listen again, because the issue you and Niteshift mentioned has been fixed, we believe.

So glad that you liked parts of this, though. We appreciate you giving it your time.

Jan

You did fix it! I can't listen all the way through right now, but I'll be back around lunchtime or so.

Kevin

Hey Gus....it's been great working with you as well. And about Mags, well to me, there aren't enough adjectives to describe his and my working relationship. Just a stellar guy all the way around. I'm thankful to have worked with both of you on this.

Jan

Hey gang!

Great to hear this done. I was expecting more of an attitude, a little soft for the lyric imo, but it works, still nice and smooth.

I like the lyrics and the music/melody that Magne has come up with, but Caroline has a very good point. "Yea, Good luck with that!" is an "attitude" phrase and I think it need a punchier treatment.

I would try again and then use this wonderful music for another set of lyrics.

Kevin

It's a very nice sounding song. The slide sounds cool. However, I think I have to agree with Caroline. Seems like the lyric has a little more attitude than the music allows it to show. Kevin might be right when he said to use this great music on some different lyrics... JMO. But I don't want to take away from the music or the lyrics, because they are both really good. Just together, I don't think they are as good as their potential.

Kyle

I initially envisioned something with tude also, but from the
first spin, it was clear to me that this direction had many
more facets available for a listener connecting to it. So glad
Mags saw this within the lyrics, the irony brought out.
Thanks to all for your time to spin it & let us know, Gus

Enjoyed the listen Jan:)

Janice (and Gus), an excellent lyric, with lovely music/melody beautifully played and sung by Magne. Really an enjoyable listen.

The mood, though (for me), is melancholy rather than attitude.
And I don't hear sarcasm, but sadness and resignation.

Would be interesting to hear an uptempo, 'tude version of this, for comparison.

Donna

Maybe the others are right about the "resignation" instead of the "attitude" approach. All I know is that it is a good one to listen to.

Kevin

Thanks for giving it a listen, Caroline. I know that everyone hears things differently, including the lyricist and the composer. We will have to see which way works best with this one. We appreciate that you gave it your ear.

Jan

Thanks for listening and your valuable input Nite, Kevin, Caroline, Kevin2, Kyle, Mark, Donna, Kevin3 :-)

Your comments are much appreciated, as we consider everyones input when deciding how to proceed with this song.

I really enjoy playing and singing this song, as the flow in Gus' and Janice's lyric just makes it fun to do with this melody and rhythm. I understand the comments about the attitude, though, and Im sure I did this overly 'rounded'. The creative consideration I had, was not to reinforce the sarcasm/irony too much as the lyric is so strong in itself, but rather adding a little to it with the music, trying to bring out more qualities in it, sneak the irony under your skin and have a singer look good doing it. I might have went too far in the opposite direction, though. With the right female singer and a fuller arrangement, Im sure it can attain the needed edge and attitude. But of course, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Thanks Gus and Janice for allowing me to do this with you! Im very happy the lyric works at this point - you are such wonderful writers, and I personally enjoy this song everytime I play it! It seems that listeners would prefer a style with more attitude, though, so there's still a job to do.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts so far!

Janice...I have to agree the music needs to be more fitting to the attitude of the lyrics....keep working it...good song...Bob

Hey Janice, Gus and Mags...

I enjoyed this...and with the plans you have for it should work well.

Larry

It actually worked pretty well for me despite the fact that I was primed by the lyric for some swagger.

Would still be interested in hearing a version that does that. Who knows though - I might conclude I like this one better.

The hook works fine for me in this treatment. I can imagine saying that line in a resigned tone. But I don't think the verse with "whining" fits the musical approach taken here. That's definitely a 'tude verse, imo.

Somethings gonna come out of this though!

Scott

Just for the record, I love this version. Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of 'tude songs.

(If you stick with this mood though you'll need to replace the word "whinin'".)

Donna

Robert,

Thanks also for weighing in on this one....there seems to be a consensus here....and all of your comments help so much...so that we know what direction to take this in for out next go around. The three of us will be Skyping most likely to decide where our efforts need to be concentrated. Thanks so much for leading us in a direction to make this a viable,commercial product. We appreciate that so much.

Jan

Larry....that's for the vote of confidence on this one. We will work it til it's right, believe me....thanks so much.

Jan

Enjoyed da Listen.Added it to my Station ~ (;Yrral Mallik;)

Sounds more like a singer/songwriter approach rather than Reba in your face. I like the lyrics alot, do seem to need more tude though.

I thought it was lovely. I loved the melody too. Magne, nice voice!

Scott,

Thanks so much for giving this your attention. We realize that some folks are having a problem with the melody, since from the lyric, they may have a pre-concieved notion of how the music should go. May be right, but maybe not. We are still milling it around, but Gus and I love the smooth ironic approach that Mags took with this. I think it catches you because it isn't what you expected....that's not always bad....hope it isn't in this case....but believe me, we are discussing it and looking at all that everyone has said. We do appreciate it so very much.

Thanks as always, Scott

Jan

Donna,

Thanks for the comments and yeah, we will be looking at that word if this is the way that we'll go with it. We so appreciate your honesty and good suggestions, always.

Jan

Thanks Larry,

Glad you liked it....means alot. Have a good day, huh?

Jan

Jan,
the tune and lyric work well for me. Sounds a bit like a gal fresh out of a relationship being clear to say she's available. Just what a guy wants to hear! Now he can say hey I'm grounded and go from there.

Nice pipes Magne.

have fun,
John

Polly,

Thanks so much for giving our song a listen....so glad you liked it. Hope everything is great with you and Andy. What a love story there. Happy for you.

Jan

Thanks John....so glad that it works for you. Yeah, you pretty much got the premise correct.
Thanks for the crit of For No Reason, as well...on forum 3. I appreciate that...left you a reply there....thanks again.

Jan

Howdy all, Gus here. The highlight of my short time here on jpf
is being part of your response to Jan's & my lyrics to Good Luck
Your input is valuable & your time is appreciated. Thanks Jan &Gus

Very listenable - nice flow to it - I thought you might be
missing some opportunities in the bridge -not sure the Midas touch
works but I like that direction. Excellent.

Hi there Pete....long time no see....hope things are good with you.

Thanks so much for giving this a listen. We will look at that bridge. See....I wanted to portray that this fella just thinks that everything he touches turns to gold without really working for it and deserving it....actually that line is one of my favorite....HA.....go figure!(it's actually meant to be a female POV) But, if you stumbled over it, it is good to know....and we will be taking a close look at all of the comments and suggs. that we have been given. We thank you and everyone else for taking the time. It's so appreciated.

Jan

I hear that phrase a lot. It is very popular with tweens now because Alena Gomez uses it often in her show Wizards of Waverly Place on the Disney Channel. I enjoyed the song. It has a certain irony to it. I agree that the music could pop a little more.

Tom

Hi Guys

Pretty song and a nice idea...

I couldn't help but think that an alternate chorus for this song would be ideal. It would flow even better and give you a nice hook. It's good as it is, and it has a nice feel. It has a singer songwriter vibe to it like a Jim Croce "Operator"
love that, but pitching wise or hit wise. It's missing the hooks that will keep it in your head.

It's starts in the arrangement of the words then it could alter the melody

1- I think this is one of those songs when you can change direction. First person second person stuff I'm NOT good with English studies lol... But very good at getting into peoples hearts

So maybe make the switch to "YOU" for the choruses I don't think anyone would notice. It kinda works already since you say "I told him" Besides there's an aweful lot of "HE'S" in here already. This would make the emotions come out a lot stronger.

2- You end the verse with "yeah good luck with that"

what if the chorus repeats that as a start point and goes something like...

Yeah good luck with that...

Good Luck With That (2nd voc/back vocal)
You got plans
Well, I got some too...

Good Luck With That (2nd voc back vocal)
But, seems they fit
Like two left shoes

Good luck with that (2nd voc back vocal)
No Manna’s from Heaven
‘Til you pay your dues

He said, can’t we take another chance…Honey
I looked him up and down and laughed
Take care and - Good Luck With That

While I do appreciate the subtleties in this song I can't help but want to feel more changes of meter and spacing.
See above the first three chorus lines have this pattern then you have the ending.. give it space perhaps before you hit with those two cool lines.

Remember - All this is with the pitching aspect in mind..
Also it could be variations on the ideas like 4 chorus lines before hearing the title sung etc...

GREAT job by all of you guys and gals. These are just some thoughts. Maybe they can spark something

"Good Luck With This"

Tom,

Thanks for listening. We appreciate your thoughts on it....and yes, we were going for the irony there.

Always happy that you stop by and weigh in on things for us.

Jan

Jan and Rick,

I loved the lyric when you first posted it. The title/hook is a favorite phrase of mine (not over used yet ), and you put it to good use here. Getting Magne to do the music was a very good move too. He has a great sense of melody and a very pleasant voice to boot.

I think the irony of the laid back music in contrast with the attitude of the lyric works very well. If anything, I would like to have heard a more fuller sound, some additional instrumentation to augment the guitar.

But that's a minor point at this stage of the game. For now, this is a really nice, well crafted song, both musically and lyrically. I quite enjoyed listening to it. Great collab!

Greg

Mike,

You have given us alot to think about. Some of the areas are Magne's expertise, so I will let him respond as well.

We thank you for your insight and appreciate all the time you spent on it. Our intention is to make this song the best it can be...so we will be looking at every sugg. that we have received so far.

Your thoughts mean so much coming from such a talented individual. I definitely know that you always have great musical ideas.....we thank you so much for that.

Hey Mike....I still need that info I asked for.....maybe a link to your studio site, etc....thanks.

Jan

Greg,

Thanks so much. We're so glad that you listened and glad it mostly works for you. This is the first work tape and of course, it is meant to be sung by a female, so that is down the road. Hope you come back and listen then.

We thank you for the encouragement....so much.

Jan

Hi Jan,

I also had a preconceived idea of what the music would be like for this, after first reading through the lyrics. I could hear Gretchen Wilson belting this out, although she is so yesterday
That's taking nothing away from Magne's abilities, but I agree, use this ballad music for another lyric and try something country/pop, a little edgier.

Another thing to consider, change the POV so the singer is talking directly to her man and make it all present tense.

"I Stand here feelin’ so sure of myself
you repeating time would tell
You'll make millions with your get rich schemes
In one ear and out like all your crazy dreams

Bag the twelve pointer, hook the big bass
Drive a new Hummer with our lottery cash
I’ll pick the color, like that’s a fact
Say you're sick and tired of my talkin’ smack

I say….Yeah, Good Luck With That….

Anyway, just a thought.

Love the hook. I use it all the time, but with dripping sarcasm, no irony.

Ricki

Wow is this beautiful, Perfect song writing .. Love everything about it ....

Wonderful work!!

Ricki,

Thanks once again for weighing in. Your comments and suggs are very helpful.

It seems that the reviews on this one are completely mixed. We will be giving creedence to all of them soon. The folks here are all so helpful in leading us in one direction or the other.

It is always appreciated, believe me.

Jan

Dan,

Well...thank you so much, from all of us. We're glad that it hit your ears right...very happy indeed.

Thanks so much for giving this a listen. We appreciate it so much.

Jan