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#749879 - 09/04/09 11:08 PM Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Hello All,

Here is the latest creation from Kristi and myself. We welcome any ideas you may have, and all comments as well.

I am concerned with the mix, and if the interest is sustained throughout, since this is the "album length" version, and runs over 5 minutes. Are there dead spots, where the music could be more interesting? If so, where?

Hi quality download (Right click, "save as"):

http://www.garageband.com/mp3/closemike-Run_Away.mp3?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSgaFS-Z28

Hi quality stream (left click):

http://www.garageband.com/mp3player?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSgaFS-Z28

Soundclick streams and download:

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8057879

*****************************************************************

Run Away

When I think of you
I think of me
All the surprises
All the sunrises

A friend for me
A friend for you
Late night lovin’
Or doing nothin’

Take in a movie
Take out dinner
Bring you home safely
Do something crazy

There is a place I can always run away to
When I’m alone and missing you
I watch the waves gently roll in with the tide
Like a blanket unfolding, they open wide
And there you are holding me
As the water surrounds our feet
wrapped in love's caress
At the water’s edge
Oh...run away, run away

Drive along the beach
Go ahead drive me wild
The moon is on our side
Going for the ride

Walk along the pier
Walk and talk all night
Hold my hand, caress it
Take our love, express it

There is a place I can always run away to
When I’m alone and missing you
I watch the waves gently roll in with the tide
Like a blanket unfolding, they open wide
And there you are holding me
As the water surrounds our feet
wrapped in love's caress
At the water’s edge
Oh...run away, run away

As the seagulls take their dives and the water tumbles free
I’ll see you again soon, where our love came to be

There is a place I can always run away to
When I’m alone and missing you
I watch the waves gently roll in with the tide
Like a blanket unfolding, they open wide
And there you are holding me
As the water surrounds our feet
wrapped in love's caress
At the water’s edge
Oh...run away, run away

Run away, run away

Drive along the beach
Go ahead drive me wild
The moon is on our side
Going for the ride

(C) 2009 Kristi Mckeever and Mike Zaneski

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/05/09 10:00 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#749886 - 09/04/09 11:26 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Lynn Orloff Offline
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Lynn Orloff  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
PA of the great USA
Guess I go first. So much I love. The lyrics, the music, Mike's passionate and great vocals. This is so different and refreshing and enjoyable all the way around.

I think you could do away with the 3rd verse ("take in a movie..)since after the first Chorus you only have 2 verses and it would be more consistent, also that verse is your weakest lyrically. Only having the two verses before the first Chorus gets you to your Chorus quicker which you want. OR just have a two line lift there like:

bring you home baby, do something crazy... (I replaced "safely" with "baby" since I didn't think "safely" fit). So it would look like this:

Run Away

When I think of you
I think of me
All the surprises
All the sunrises

A friend for me
A friend for you
Late night lovin’
Or doing nothin’

Bring you home baby, do something crazy...

There is a place I can always run away to
When I’m alone and missing you
I watch the waves gently roll in with the tide
Like a blanket unfolding, they open wide
And there you are holding me
As the water surrounds our feet
wrapped in love's caress
At the water’s edge
Oh...run away, run away

Drive along the beach
Go ahead drive me wild
The moon is on our side
Going for the ride

Walk along the pier
Walk and talk all night
Hold my hand, caress it
Take our love, express it

There is a place I can always run away to
When I’m alone and missing you
I watch the waves gently roll in with the tide
Like a blanket unfolding, they open wide
And there you are holding me
As the water surrounds our feet
wrapped in love's caress
At the water’s edge
Oh...run away, run away

As the seagulls take their dives and the water tumbles free
I’ll see you again soon, where our love came to be

There is a place I can always run away to
When I’m alone and missing you
I watch the waves gently roll in with the tide
Like a blanket unfolding, they open wide
And there you are holding me
As the water surrounds our feet
wrapped in love's caress
At the water’s edge
Oh...run away, run away

Run away, run away

Drive along the beach
Go ahead drive me wild
The moon is on our side

Best to both of you,
Lynn
Hey Mike I hope you find one of my lyrics interesting enough to "musicate" someday smile


My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#749911 - 09/05/09 06:57 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,839
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Kristi & Mike,


Well, it doesn't get much smoother than this.
Everything here is quite beautiful.
I'm always impressed with the quality.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#749923 - 09/05/09 09:22 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Hi Mike and Kristi

Well first up -- in answer to your question
Quote
if the interest is sustained throughout, since it does run over 5 minutes.

YES - it does keep interest - there are enough twist and turns adds and lulls to do that - no doubt... And like Calvin it all feels smooth , polished and a great artistic and musical journey. Can't say enough - how I love your singing - but I've probably lost my credibility because i can't seem to come up with new adjectives......

anyway -- on the down side...... maybe because the lyric is spread out over the course of the five min --it lost a bit of the glue for me -- I mean the story does not hold together as well this way...... but maybe it becomes more of a subliminal story line ..... that gets delivered in a more abstract sense ---- as a listener - I would have to listen again to figure out what I missed --but I would Want to listen again - in any event. It's a musical Journey and it goes to sweet places in a very soothing way. Good entertainment.

Oh and No Mix Issues -- Ha Ha

Thanks for sharing with us. : ) jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#749955 - 09/05/09 11:10 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Joice Marie]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Caroline Offline
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Caroline  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
Texas
Very nice. Sounds great, ineterst is throughout, as you ask, and I enjoyed this very much!


Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
#749957 - 09/05/09 11:17 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Caroline]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Crozet, VA
Great production and the singing is all really, really good. I'd see if you could chop it down to 3:30 - 4:00. I don't think there is any compelling reason why it needs to be 5:39. I lost interest after awhile.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#749993 - 09/05/09 02:43 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Two Singers Offline
Two Singers  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,649
Northern Alabama
Mike and Kristi,

First, to answer the questions you asked: The mix is fine. I don't see any problems at all there. Although your vocal style on this one (BTW, I like it a lot!) is somewhat of an amplified whisper, it still cartries its weight throughout the piece. It never gets lost in the music. The couple of places where you break into the falsetto work quite nicely. Your percussions and the warm pad keep the song consistent throughout. But the rest of your musical presentation varies enough to keep the interest alive.

The length might be a problem for some folks, but it is not for me. This style of music often has a duration of 4:30 to 5:30 Personally, I was glued to it from beginning to end.

It'sa fabulous lyric from Kristi. And Mike, your vocal delivery and and b/g tracks are great. No nits or complaints....well, joust one. It's gone a little while to get this subtle smile of relaxed comfort off my face. Very, very nice!

Alan

#749995 - 09/05/09 02:53 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey K & M,

Very nice work here -- well worth the wait. Lyrics are lovely Kristi, as always, and Mike, your musication is stellar.

For me, it does run a bit long, though not sure how you could condense it any and not sacrifice an important element.

Have a good weekend, and thanks for sharing,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#749997 - 09/05/09 03:01 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
Top 100 Poster
Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Hi Lynn,

Thanks so much for your nice comments and good suggestions.

Ya know, I was hoping “safely” hinted at how he makes her feel….and counters the “crazy”….that’s what was in my mind anyway, as I wrote it…and yet I see how “baby” works too…kinda brings in a more sensual element to it….and maintains the rhyme. I appreciate knowing how it strikes you…

I structured V3 as a verse, but musically, it’s actually a lift there now, along with the “walk along the pier” section. I see what you’re saying with just including that part…getting to the chorus quicker…..I don’t know how that would effect it musically, but if needed, there’s always ways to experiment…

Thanks again for taking the time to take a look at this!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#750001 - 09/05/09 03:18 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Caroline]  
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
Kristi McKeever Offline
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Kristi McKeever  Offline
Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,828
USA
Hi Calvin ~ thanks so much for your nice comments. Always nice to hear from you.


Hi Joice ~ Interesting what you say here. You always have something thoughtful to offer…good stuff to think about. Thank you.


Hi Caroline ~ Nice to see you! Thank you for your feedback...it’s always good to hear.


Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#750046 - 09/05/09 06:42 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Kristi McKeever]  
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 622
CG King Offline
Serious Contributor
CG King  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 622
Nashville

Hi Mike and Kristi,

Kristi...I really like the imagery in your lyric!

Mike.....As I've said before....you have an unbelievable voice! I thought the addition of the waves and seagulls was a nice touch.

Great collaboration.

My best to both of you,
Gail













#750048 - 09/05/09 06:51 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Hi Lynn,

Thank you for your nice comments!

Kristi echoes my thoughts about safely/crazy...

I was thinking that since the chorus runs for sixteen bars, and occurs three times in the song, that it would be seen as a candidate for cutting...losing one would make the song an acceptable 3:45 or so, and would not affect the song as much structurally, although then where would the bridge go?

It makes me very happy you enjoyed this; thanks for the nice compliments on my singing. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/05/09 07:17 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750059 - 09/05/09 07:52 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Wyman Lloyd Offline
Wyman Lloyd  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Missouri
Sounds good to me.
Flows nicely.
I'd be with Kevin and a couple others though, it ran too long for me.
IMO I wouldn't want to see the verses cut but as Mike said the second or third C could be cut and bring it in fine.
Ya' know, we're songwriters, we're interested in music and songs but "commercially" people are just there to be "entertained" and it doesn't take long to lose their interest if the song is too long, even if it "is' good
Just my 2 cents--Still a good job all around
Wy

#750072 - 09/05/09 11:46 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,072
Scott Campbell Offline
Scott Campbell  Offline

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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,072
Lakeland, FL, USA
Hi Mike and Kristi:

I wanted more smile

Seriously!

This is what easy listening is supposed to be. I can imagine driving down highway 1 with this playing on the stereo and just hitting the repeat button again and again as the afternoon eases along.....

I think the length is not an issue. If you are the artist, Mike, who cares? And if it is for movie or TV placement, they never play the whole thing anyway.

Anyway, I had fun listening for all the bells and whistles you added - both to the music and to the vocals. The mix seemed great to me and the performance is par for you - which means it is outstanding. smile

When this section hit:

Drive along the beach
Go ahead drive me wild
The moon is on our side
Going for the ride

the music was just so in touch with the lyric that I was in that car for a few seconds smile

Great work!

Scott

#750106 - 09/06/09 08:03 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Scott Campbell]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,817
Kolstad Offline
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Kolstad  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,817
Denmark
Hi Mike/Kirsti,

I heard this pretty close to r&b, and that's a genre Im not too familiar with, so I just listened and suggest based on my somewhat country/pop'pified mind these days.

Does it sustain interest?
Well, I felt due to it's build, that rather than sustain interest it BUILDS interest. For me, the song really grew in the first chorus, and I actually first started to gain interest from there on. In the end I really liked it a lot.

Dead spots?
For me the first two verses and the prechorus is the biggest dead spot. In fact, I felt the song would gain impact not including them, so I would suggest to rearrange the song to start from verse three (including the arrangement add ons), just having one verse before the first chorus, then have verse four between the second and third chorus, ending up in ABABCB form under 4mins.

That would be my preference on how to hear this song with the most impact! I really think the building arrangement adds interest thoughout, but felt the dramatic curve was too low as is, in this version. I would not have made it to the first chorus, if I had not listened to give feedback in this case.

But, Im glad I did.

#750121 - 09/06/09 11:53 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Kolstad]  
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 9,747
John Lawrence Schick Offline
John Lawrence Schick  Offline

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Posts: 9,747
PA
Congrats Kristi and Michael!

Love the unpredictable chord structure.

The romantic lyrics and music embrace tenderly. The vocal couldn’t be better for this (harmony is spot on). Why did I think of Lionel Richie?

Two thumbs up!

Best, John

#750129 - 09/06/09 12:18 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: John Lawrence Schick]  
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,226
Wendy D Offline
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Wendy D  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,226
Atlanta, GA USA
I thought the mix, your vocal, the music sounded great. Kristi is really good at writing these wonderful, romantic lyrics. I was telling Tom Franz the other day that I don't think I could write a love song, so kudos to Kristi for writing something fresh and believable.

I'm with the campers who think it does run a bit long, but I also think Scott is correct about film/TV only using a slab, so it's hard to judge really. I think the chorus itself is too long, but there's nothing to cut there. Maybe just eliminating one chorus as Mike already suggested? Also, you could have two versions once you figure it out. An album version and a version you intend to pitch. But I suppose you had already concluded that. It sounds great, as is, though.


http://www.reverbnation.com/wendydumond

https://soundcloud.com/#mamby-p

http://www.reverbnation.com/donsechelski

Link for Blackfoot Daisy band


You think I'm just another jive folk singer but I'm a master in the art of criminology..Tom Russell
#750189 - 09/06/09 09:10 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Wendy D]  
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Nashville
Hi Mike and Kristi,


I hope you don't mind.....but I just had to come back for a second listen. You two are just so wonderful together....Kristi writes such beautiful lyrics.....they are always so descriptive, and due to her fabulous imagery, the listener is transported right to that time and place.

I always marvel at Mike's many musical talents! Gosh...just listen to that voice....and Mike you are always so meticulous! Your mixing and production skills and ear for just the right placement of sound effects is always spot on.

I know you expressed a concern about the length of this piece...but you know...if this piece was say, used in a movie, they might want it this length. It would ultimately just depend on its application. In my opinion, if you did opt to make a shorter version, I would probably take out a chorus.

Once again....a great collaboration by two very gifted people.


My very best to you both,
Gail













#750211 - 09/06/09 11:02 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Hi Alan ~ Thank you so much for your nice words…I’m so glad the song brought a “smile of relaxed comfort to your face.” smile It’s always great to hear feedback like that.


Hi Beth ~ Thanks for your kind words….always appreciate the time you take to offer your input!



A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#750221 - 09/06/09 11:52 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: CG King]  
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Hi Gail,

You "hope we don't mind?" you coming back for a second listen? lol smile

Thank you for your very generous words blush I don't know what to say! As a writer, hearing that you were "transported to that time and place" is what I can only hope for...and I'm glad it worked for you!

I agree, Mike is very meticulous with his musical talents and he pours it all into a song to make it come alive!

Appreciate your thoughts on the length of the song also....

Thanks again, Gail, for taking the time to listen and comment....twice!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#750251 - 09/07/09 02:29 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Little_stevie_b Offline
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Nice work Mike. You kept it interesting despite the length. Nice work on the lyric and the whole arrangement. Has a 70s sound to it to my ears in a way.Good work on a quality lyric Kristi. You two should do more together.

Steve

#750256 - 09/07/09 05:13 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Little_stevie_b]  
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in2piano Offline
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Mike and Kristi...

For my ear you have an elegant production...lyrics, phrasing,emotional impact..it is all there...and Mike your vox is spot on...IMHO...While I leave the production details to others on my tunes (personally) I surely would agree with Al that your mix is not a major on this.. I am very fortunate that I have a wonderful crew that can help my stuff sound better than it really is...you have the talent to do it on your own...
Honestly, as the market is now, I would pare it down a bit to get under 4:00 but as a songwriter it holds it's own....funny thing in this biz...sometimes ya gotta kill your best stuff to get the gate keepers to let you in...

Larry


Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
#750403 - 09/07/09 08:02 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Calvin]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Calvin,

Thank you for those nice comments!

I'm glad you enjoyed this, "smooth and beautiful" were two of the qualities I was going far, so you've made me very me happy. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750412 - 09/07/09 08:11 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Joice Marie]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Joice,

Haha don't worry you lose no credibility with the repetition of adjectives, as long as they're nice ones. wink

I never considered the effect that the song's pacing has on the lyric, and will listen with this in mind, you may have a point! It would be an insight that would help me plot future songs. I was thinking, "make it feel like the beach...slowed down a bit, sensual..." and I realized that my idea of "the beach" is completely different than Brian Wilson's, whose beach oriented songs all seem more happy than sexy...but then, this is about the singer's state of mind, and needing to escape into a memory of "being with her on the beach" ...so it's more complicated than Mr. Wilson's, for the most part.

Yes! Subliminal and abstract, the 'story' comes across, I think, too!

Thanks, Joice!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/07/09 09:18 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750415 - 09/07/09 08:17 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Caroline]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Caroline,

It makes me happy knowing you enjoyed this. Thanks!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750423 - 09/07/09 08:50 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Kevin,

I never share a "radio edit" with my friends, as I want them privy to the album length version, but am always curious if there are "dead spots" where more music or better "arranging" is called for.

I conceived this to be "In the Air Tonight" on the beach. Btw, the Phil Collin's classic also runs well over 5 minutes on the album.

I remember how that album version used to be great, with the ladies...a LOT can happen, in those extra two minutes. wink

So maybe this is no "In the Air tonight" ...but like that "long version" this is sensual enough to amplify a nice mood between two people, and the longer the better, and that's compelling enough reason for me.

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/08/09 03:34 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750475 - 09/08/09 02:42 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Tom Franz Offline
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Hi Michael and Kristi,
I have listened many times.
A work with this much production demands that.
This is a really complex work. I am trying to get my head around it. And it is not easy. There are so many movements and musical parts. To really understand your intention takes some time and listens.

My first reaction is to say that snap in the first verse should be a signature sound, a hook. It comes across as fresh, crisp, compelling and very unique. Then it goes away. The second round of verses are different in their delivery and you are gaining momentum so perhaps it did not fit. I vote you consider going back to the simpler arrangement of the first three stanzas so that can be used again. (by the way in my own music my ideas rarely work).

Second, you have so much going on but the overall feel is very light. My personal experience is the more you add the more everything gets thick and heavy. Not here everything keeps a very light touch. In short excellent recording and mix.

Third, Michael you performance is excellent. You sing every note like it is important. That is really hard to do I think, at least it is very rare and very pro.

My nits are:
The way it is written, the first line "There is a place I can always run away to" is a pre and should be separated from the rest of the chorus. It just threw me off.

Though the chorus is beautifully played and sung it does not take off to my ear. It has a similar cadence to the verse. My ear just wanted it to break into it own distinct syncopation more quickly. It does in the long run but it takes a while to get there. No one else has mentioned this so it could very well just be me.

Kristi, good work, I hold your work as a level above. That said the second and third stanza did not have the same mysterious feel that the rest of the lyrics had. Though they were well written and compelling, it seemed like a slight departure to me.

Very high level of work you two. You elevate this forum. Thank you.

Tom

Last edited by Tom Franz; 09/08/09 12:50 PM.
#750676 - 09/08/09 11:00 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
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Hi Wy ~ Thanks for your nice comments….good to hear your take on the length…appreciate you coming by with your thoughts!

Hi Scott ~ You make some really good points there! Mike does wonderful work and I’m so glad you were “in that car” for a few seconds!

Hi Magne ~ The first two verses should build the emotion so when they go to dinner/movie you have some kind of feel for the song and singer’s emotional state. There’s always ways to play around with it if the interest is an issue though, so thanks for offering up some ideas!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#750689 - 09/08/09 11:16 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: John Lawrence Schick]  
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John ~ Thanks for your nice comments….I have always liked Lionel Richie! Thanks for the thumbs up!

Wendy ~ “Fresh and believable” is great to hear…I hope so! You make a good point about an album version and a pitchable version…thanks for your very generous thoughts!

Steve ~ Thank you for offering up your perspective…appreciate your very nice comments…

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#750691 - 09/08/09 11:21 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Two Singers]  
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Hi Al,

Thanks for the nice comments. You know, I actually thought about how Emmylou Harris does that "amplified whisper" thing so wonderfully, while I was recording the verse vocals, which is where I do that mostly. Actually they start out sung, but at a volume like you are talking to someone two feet away, if that...and...while the note is being sustained, the timbre slowly shifts into the whisper...that's the secret of Emmylou, I think, and how she get's those intimate vocals, it sounds like she's singing AND whispering, because she is!!! Thanks for picking up on this, and getting me to think about it a little!

Yes, Kristi's lyric is once again something that just jumped out at me with living imagery, and once again all I had to do was "get out of the way" and let it tell me how the song should go, and what mod, and arrangement, etc...

Thanks again Al,

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/08/09 11:23 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750701 - 09/08/09 11:36 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Beth,

Thank you for dropping by and sharing your thoughts with us on our new song.

You are right, there is no way to shorten the song without losing an important element. The bridge needs to lead into the chorus. Without 3 choruses, the bridge leads to the middle of the lake, and there it ends. Just for fun, I had my software speed the thing up to 114 BPM, from the 88 that it was, and it just sounds like I'm in a hurry to have my fantasy, and get the hell outta there!

I hope you had a nice weekend as well; hope all is well with you.

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750706 - 09/08/09 11:53 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: CG King]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Gail,

I'll tell you about why I put the ocean waves right where I did, in the repeated "run away" section at the end.

I have this belief that a singer's consonants are a vast resevoir of percussive and musical ideas. For instance...for emphasis, I think " L " can be a nice two syllable consonant...say you want the word "love" to really stick out, in your song.. I might approach the word love as two, and maybe three syllables!!! ...so as to give it that extra "umph" of emphasis...like so:

ull LUH vuh

and make sure each syllable sounds "on purpose" by doing it on a subdivision of the beat...or...in a word, rhythmically!

That last crashing wave, is "doubling" the crashing wave that is already there, in the consonants, that I happen to be singing, at the same time!

If you listen there, I am singing

"drive along the beeeeeeee...chhhhhhhhh"

and that "chhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sounds JUST LIKE a crashing wave, so I doubled it with a real one, and it makes that wave seem perfect there, because the lyric went there at the same time! There's a bit of "onomatopoeia" in the word "beech": when one lets the word linger, one hears the waves crashing!

Truth is I am a frustrated jazz singer who knows the value of consonants, and so "close mics" himself to get the full value of those consonants to shine.

I'm glad you notice Kristi's imagery. It brought the music to life, and made my "job" like an extended playtime. smile

Thanks again, Gail. smile

MIke

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/09/09 12:24 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750713 - 09/09/09 12:33 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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CG King Offline
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Nashville
Hi Mike,


Now see.....that's why I admire you so much.....not only are you incredibly talented.....you are also so wonderful about sharing your knowledge! Thank you for that. Believe me....with your meticulous attention to detail.....I know that every little "touch" is carefully thought out by you! That is what makes your work such a delight for the listener.

You and Kristi have a beautiful and very sensuous song here....and I'm certain LOTS of couples are grateful for the additional length! lol !!

I always look forward to work from you two. You personify "top notch".


My best to you,
Gail













#750816 - 09/09/09 03:52 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: CG King]  
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Robert Pickens Offline
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Georgia
Mike/Kristi....this is wonderful....great vocal...love the production....love the chorus with the harmony when it kicks in....I used to listen to a guy named Gino Vanalli...Canadain guy....I believe....his style was similiar to this....

My only nit is it runs alittle long.....but I still hung in there with it because it was so soothing....very nice work here.....for sure....Bob

#750820 - 09/09/09 04:12 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Wyman,

This is the album version, and Taxi will get it this way, and a "radio edit" as well. I don't plan to do any label pitching until I can truly "overwhelm" an A & R man with the depth of our catalog.

I actually fancy myself a "recording artist" these days, believing that "if you can't get anyone's attention, then you just gotta do it yourself" ...and I hope to follow this philosophy through to it's logical conclusion and produce a nice CD, and then play the songs at various venues.

Remember that most album artists' songs are much longer on their albums...Isaac Hayes had singles that were 3 minutes, and 20 minutes on the album, so, you know, I'm not THAT self-indulgent, lol...and I'm doing nothing new here as far as length goes.

Thanks for the kind words, Wy. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/09/09 06:52 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750827 - 09/09/09 04:24 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Hi Scott,

Thank you for your nice comments, which truly made my day, the other night!

I've heard various opinions involving "length" and the movie producer..."Longer" seems to be the consensus with these folks, as they then have more to choose from, in terms of finding a nice 90 second chunk for their film; but yeah, I am approaching my productions "as if" I were the artist, now, or I wouldn't put so much effort into the vocals, lol!

Kristi and I did our job well, then, if you were in that car driving near the beach! I thought of my favorite band "the Blue Nile", circa "Hats"... when I decided on a 'Chinatown' like trumpet and a Chris Isaak like guitar, there, something noir and classy and sexy...thanks for highlighting the part of the song that still makes my heart beat with emphasis.

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/09/09 04:25 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750880 - 09/09/09 09:55 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Robert Pickens]  
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Kristi McKeever Offline
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Larry ~ Thanks so much for your kind words….elegant….I like that!

Tom F ~ Thank you for your very thoughtful and kind review. Hearing how the lyric comes across, spots that may be out of place and spots that are working is helpful.…gives me a nice awareness of the work….appreciate that. I put this lyric up for critique on the Lyric 3 forum awhile back and received great help from JPFers, including Mike, who offered their perspectives and cool ideas……and it all helped to zero in on my intention and try to bring it out accordingly…so I truly appreciate all the talent that is right here around us, just waiting to offer their creative wisdom. Thanks again for taking the time to listen and let us know your thoughts.

Bob ~ I remember listening to Gino Vannelli! Thanks for your nice comments…glad you enjoyed it!

Kristi


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
#750938 - 09/10/09 03:18 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Kolstad]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Hi Magne,

LOL, your feelings are the exact opposite of Tom Franz's who thinks the verses are stongest, and the chorus is the weak spot.

In the early verses I was going for a mood kinda like Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight", real intimate. Sorry it misses the mark with you! We aim to please, lol!

Oh Magne, I just don't see starting the song with "Drive along the beach" although it would certainly give the song an interesting shape, that of one verse, followed by a chorus, then a bridge, then the last chorus, then that last "Run Away" section... Just for the hell of it, I listened , starting at "Drive along the beach" and you know what? Not bad, not bad...only we lose why he's in the car, driving along the beech, and moreover, why he needs to "run away" ...nevertheless, leave it to you to have something startling and innovative to throw my way, and make me think.

I'm glad you ended up liking it!

Thanks, Magne!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#750958 - 09/10/09 08:15 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: John Lawrence Schick]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Hi John,

The verses incorporate a direct modulation into each couplet. I'm finding myself getting tired of pure diatonics.

The chorus has some obvious Brazilian leanings to the chords and progression. Thanks for noticing the chords!

I was thinking more along the lines of Peter Gabriel meets Brian Wilson, but in Rock Math, that might well spit out "Lionel Ritchie" as the sum of those two guys, LOL...

Thanks for listening, John, glad you enjoyed it!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/10/09 08:17 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751000 - 09/10/09 12:03 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Kolstad Offline
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Denmark
Hi Mike/ Kirsty,

I guess I should stick from giving feedback when I rush through it like this, sorry about that. I didn't put enough emphasis on how much I liked the song in the end.

I do feel, though, that if you can pose the question yourself asking if it sustains enough interest, you know deep down that it doesn't.

The suggestion I made was based on the premise of a rewrite, but I didn't got that across either.

I hope you had a good laugh cry

#751059 - 09/10/09 04:28 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Kolstad]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Magne,

I guess I should stick from giving feedback when I rush through it like this, sorry about that. I didn't put enough emphasis on how much I liked the song in the end.


Magne, I "got" that you liked the song! You did emphasize that you liked the song, and I said "I'm glad you ended up liking it!"

I do feel, though, that if you can pose the question yourself asking if it sustains enough interest, you know deep down that it doesn't.

Magne, you know that is a ridiculous piece of logic, that is like saying, anybody that worries if they are really a good person deep down knows that they're not" when the truth may be the opposite, as humility is a salient factor in determining something like that. A human beings ability to be self-critical does not make the object of their being critical automatically true.

I asked if it sustained interest NOT out of any deep seated psychological motive, but basically because I wanted to know if any spots could use better arranging, or more music, or less music, but NOT if the song was too long, because "length" is something that a "radio edit" can fix, and I am presenting the album cut.

You are free to say that you think the song works better without the first two verses and lift. I even thought you had something, with this observation. Did you miss that I said, "Just for the hell of it, I listened , starting at "Drive along the beach" and you know what? Not bad, not bad...leave it to you to have something startling and innovative to throw my way, and make me think." ??

I hope you had a good laugh

Magne, if you notice, I am laughing over the fact that you and Tom Franz have the exact opposite feelings. He loves the first two verses and lift, and doesn't think the chorus sustains interest! To me this is funny! Like...I respect both of your opinions, but what we have here is a "critical stand-off" of sorts, and I found it amusing, and that is why I laughed. Look:

"LOL, your feelings are the exact opposite of Tom Franz's who thinks the verses are strongest, and the chorus is the weak spot."

I am sorry if my response to you seemed insensitive. That was definitely NOT my intention, as I think you are great, and I respect your opinion, and I was just telling Kristi that you are my favorite pure singer on the boards.

Please reread my response to you, in its entirety now, and KNOW that it was not meant in anything other than "writer to writer" and with absolutely nothing but the best feelings about you in mind as I wrote.

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/10/09 04:48 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751075 - 09/10/09 05:37 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
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Kolstad Offline
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Kolstad  Offline
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Denmark
Thanks Mike,

It is funny how different tastes move us around, and very interesting too. Sometimes thats basically all we got when giving feedback, as the decisions of craft really can go numerous ways..

I really meant that I rushed through this critique, and that the suggestions I made without accounting for the 'middle math', could look funny. So it wasn't just me being sensitive..

Im sorry I pushed you to spend a lot of time explaining, that was not my intention.

I felt when listening that the song could use more to create interest in the first three sections, as it then would feel more like the later add ons in the arrangement was sustaining and not just building. I tried to make a point out of the difference between building and sustaining, allthough Im not sure how it came across, or if it has any viability at all.

I still stand on my position of being able to pose the questions yourself as something self-intuitive to be listen to, though. The logic would be that what you ask for (can see/ hear) must be on a conscious level, and that there then is a job to be done scrutinizing that sensibility.

Im not questioning the fact that it is perfectly legit and useful to ask questions on arrangement, interest and dead spots, on the contrary, those can provide very useful feedback IMO

Great job, Mike, thanks for staying in dialogue!

#751078 - 09/10/09 05:53 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Kolstad]  
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Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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California
Originally Posted by the songcabinet

I still stand on my position of being able to pose the questions yourself as something self-intuitive to be listen to, though. The logic would be that what you ask for (can see/ hear) must be on a conscious level, and that there then is a job to be done scrutinizing that sensibility.


Magne,

You originally said this:

I do feel, though, that if you can pose the question yourself asking if it sustains enough interest, you know deep down that it doesn't.

Asking if something is a problem doesn't make the thing a problem!

We ask, in critiques, in order to get feedback, and through feedback we can get a better idea about what others think. I was asking if there were any dead spots in order to know where I should either add music, or take away music, or if anyone thought that there needed to be more, or less.

I know what my motives are in asking about "dead spots." Saying that "deep down" I knew there were problems, is armchair psychoanalysis. This is a song critique! Psycho-analysis is not necessary.

If I am curious if something is a problem, it is NOT automatically a problem, because I am curious!!! I am asking, because I want critical advice. This is why we all ask. I ask because I want to hear various opinions.

If it were true that, every critical question posed by the songmaker were automatically TRUE, then one would not need have forums, OR a critical process, as one could then "self-analyze" 'til the cows came home.

Originally Posted by the songcabinet

I felt when listening that the song could use more to create interest in the first three sections, as it then would feel more like the later add ons in the arrangement was sustaining and not just building. I tried to make a point out of the difference between building and sustaining, allthough Im not sure how it came across, or if it has any viability at all.


Now...I am "hearing you" for the first time! You think there should be more music in the first three parts to sustain interest. You're right, I didn't get this from what you said, you intellectual, you!!!

You are the first to say this, and I must admit though, I under arrange the beginnings of songs, in general, and this one in particular, because I wanted the vocal to be extra intimate. I tried to make the vocal really interesting, by using some innovative techniques with "consonants as percussion" and was going for that "In the Air Tonight" vibe, with a little Brian Wilson in there too.

You think more orchestration, in the early verses, is a good idea? I will take this into consideration, because I respect your opinion. You understand it will be difficult for me, as my template is the Collins song, and it builds up too, from sparse beginnings. You are saying I am not "getting your attention" from the opening sentence, and I am hearing you. smile

Thanks for the return, Magne, all the best to you!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/10/09 11:56 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751087 - 09/10/09 06:21 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Wendy D]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Hi Wendy,

The thing is...you maybe should consider writing a love song, if you feel that way, because I have a feeling it would be unique and fresh and believable, because you would not allow anything but that to end up in your finished lyric!

Yes, yes, size is important, but it depends on what we're going to do...Taxi for sure, on CD and played live by me, also...oh well...

Glad you enjoyed it. Write a love song!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/11/09 05:00 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751091 - 09/10/09 06:30 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Michael Zaneski]  
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 499
goodfolks Offline
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goodfolks  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 499
california USA
Hi Michael and Kristi. I don't think this is too long. Very well done. Easy listening mood music. I like every thing about it.


Scott Steven Walters

Goodfolks link below
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=817195
#751092 - 09/10/09 06:34 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: CG King]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Posts: 5,108
California
Originally Posted by CG King
Hi Mike and Kristi,


I hope you don't mind.....but I just had to come back for a second listen. You two are just so wonderful together....Kristi writes such beautiful lyrics.....they are always so descriptive, and due to her fabulous imagery, the listener is transported right to that time and place.

I always marvel at Mike's many musical talents! Gosh...just listen to that voice....and Mike you are always so meticulous! Your mixing and production skills and ear for just the right placement of sound effects is always spot on.

I know you expressed a concern about the length of this piece...but you know...if this piece was say, used in a movie, they might want it this length. It would ultimately just depend on its application. In my opinion, if you did opt to make a shorter version, I would probably take out a chorus.

Once again....a great collaboration by two very gifted people.


My very best to you both,
Gail



Hi Gail!

Mind? No way!!!

Thanks for weighing in again on the length issue; I'll definitely have a "radio edit" for Taxi, but I'll leave it like it is for the album.

Kristi and I truly appreciate your warmth and kind words. smile

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751096 - 09/10/09 06:49 PM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Little_stevie_b]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Hi Steve,

I'm glad you liked it in spite of the length.

You know, we take our lyrics, make them as succinct as possible, then put them to music, who is to say...a song may need just 2 minutes to come across, or may need 5 minutes. It's interesting to hear the various opinions concerning this, though to me it's a bit of a non-issue, since a "radio edit" was something I had planned from the beginning.

You pick up that the seventies are my favorite era, and pre-disco seventies, mainly. smile

Kristi's lyric's are always "quality" because she works very hard on on them, and knows when to put them down for a while, and how to zero in on what needs work, and inspiration is always right there, with her. Her work ethic is amazing. I am lucky, and very happy to be working with her. smile

I think Kristi and I just might do some more songs together, yes!

Thanks again Steve,

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/11/09 04:59 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751251 - 09/11/09 08:36 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: in2piano]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Posts: 5,108
California
Hi Larry,

Thanks for the kind words on the mix, lyrics, and production.

Kristi and I will be figuring out what to leave out for the radio edit.

Maybe if I can catch those gatekeepers nappin' I can sneak in? grin ...they probably never sleep...oh well, lol...

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751253 - 09/11/09 09:01 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: Tom Franz]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Hi Tom,

Thank you so much for digging deep and coming up with some good ideas for me to look at.

That "snap" you think you hear in the first verse is me and my close mic'd consonants...I was playing around and realized I had a little hook with that " K " in "think" ...that if I held on to it, it resembled a snare with a ton of big hall reverb oozing off of it! So I sang "think" like "thinkkkkkkkkkkkkkk" and then compressed the hell out of it and put the reverb BEFORE the compression, just to get something unique sounding.

So the reason it doesn't happen again is mainly because the opportunity didn't present itself again. It's just not the same with the " D " in "friend."

That you say "there's a lot going on, but the feel is light" makes me feel great, Tom. it means I'm finally learning when I've got a good balance in my arrangements. I use to have very busy arrangements, and I'm glad I'm trusting the song more, and letting things breathe a little easier, thanks. smile

You give me a great idea for the first line of the chorus, and that is to keep the tension rising until the "when I'm alone" line. A rising string line in one chorus, a Jack Dejohnette like cymbal in another...build more tension in that first line, then release with a final, long string chord in one chorus, and a final crash from the drummer in another. Thanks for the great idea!

I can do more to give the chorus a separate identity, musically, but I'll need to think about how. This is always something that concerns me; sections should sound different enough to play off of each other and form a cohesive whole...although in the new song I'm working on, the chorus and verses are similar on purpose, because they come together at the end, and for a melodic counterpoint....

You didn't think the third verse had the same mysterious feel? That's cool, but my favorite lines are in that verse, in fact I think I'll name the album "The Moon Is On Our Side" ..that couplet "the moon is on our side/going for the ride" paints a great picture, for me.

Tom, you are such a gentleman, thanking us. Your welcome...but moreover, thank you for your generosity and kindness. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/11/09 09:06 AM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
#751255 - 09/11/09 09:08 AM Re: Run Away - Collab with Kristi Mckeever [Re: goodfolks]  
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
Michael Zaneski Offline
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Michael Zaneski  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,108
California
Hi Ordinaryguy,

Thanks for the thumbs up, and for weighing in on the length, I appreciate that!

Mike


Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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