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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371 |
Hi All,
Been a bit lax for August. Here is something I have had for a while, see what you think of it.
Cheers
Alan
I'll Be Here
Don't say another word I understand the scene Don't think I won't be down Or wonder where you'll be
You said you needed time To find out who you are You don't know how long you'll be How near or how far
Always remember nothing is ever lost Always know that whatever, whatever the cost
ch I'll Be Here No matter how much time goes by When you've gone full circle I'll be at the finish line
When you're coming back Back to the start Know that there's always been A space for you right here in my heart I'll be here
I know why you're going Hope it's what you need Send me emails You know I love to read
About what you're doing Makes me feel I'm there But I'll keep on hoping That you know I really care
I'll look at the sky and know you're some place else Maybe wishing on the same star don't think you're by yourself
ch I'll Be Here No matter how much time goes by When you've gone full circle I'll be at the finish line
When you're coming back Back to the start Know that there's always been A space for you right here in my heart I'll be here
br Your thoughts have been distant Your heart's telling you to go I know it's not easy That's why I want you to know
ch I'll Be Here No matter how much time goes by When you've gone full circle I'll be at the finish line
When you're coming back Back to the start Know that there's always been A space for you right here in my heart I'll be here
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
Nice thought here, but in the majority of cases the person who is left behind when the other decides that he/she needs space usually moves on and finds another.
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 41
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 41 |
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371 |
Hi beech and hi Sparrow, Thanks for taking the time to read it. Understand what you mean, and is true. I was maybe thinking of that time when that person is leaving when we think we will wait for them, rather than down the road, if that makes sense. Maybe it is not so clear as to the moment, that of before or during the planning of leaving. Am I complicating this more? But thanks for taking the time
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
This was my take on the meaning of the particular lyric. Most of the time when one posts a lyric the feedback they desire is what the meaning should interpret, at least that is my take on it. In writing I believe there are no real right or wrong answers, just what comes from the heart and soul.
Peace, Brian
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371 |
Hi Brian
Thanks for taking the time to look, and for your thoughts. I am always grateful for people's views and thoughts and to see if it is all clear or could be improved in anyway. I am thinking now maybe somewhere it is good to point out that it is that moment before someone goes, make it clear, cos you are right when you ask do people really wait. Might even be a song idea in that: the person who thought they would wait and isn't.
Cheers
Alan
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,280 Likes: 3 |
hi Alan..this is a good write, I`ve always believed in setting things free..thats a tough thing to do sometimes. and I think there are a few who will wait, or save that little space for someone no matter what. have a great night..Lane
"Blessed are the words of truth and fiction, one might save you from the other...Vincent
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371 |
Thanks for taking a look Lane and for the comments. I think in the end people will always save that space for someone. Or maybe thats just the romantic in me.
Cheers
Alan
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 20
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 20 |
I have a hard time getting the Jackson Five melody out of my head when trying to read this. It's a bit long with maybe too much repetition. You seem to be saying the same thing over and over, only changing the wording. The bridge especially, should bring something unique to a song, not only musically but lyrically as well. I'd go through this and see where you can trim. Less can sometimes yield more. Good luck with this. Jonie
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,117
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,117 |
hi spidey how about
"Don't think I won't feel down"
"This space for you in my heart"
and perhaps your "difference" in the second half is to write about people who don't wait, and just move on regardless, but when it Love, as the singer is feeling, he WILL wait!
(I wrote a song with the same title-ha! about 20 years ago, and the singer is still waiting--gad!)
annie
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 371 |
Hi Jonie, Annie,
Thank you both for taking the time to look and comment on the lyric. I am re-thinking this song, maybe look at the structure and ideas in it, and will get back on with mark 2 once I have looked at it.
Cheers
Alan
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