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Did this a little while back, but wanted to share since I'm still new to JPF. Let me know what you think!

Loves_Version_of_the_Truth.mp3

Love's Version of the Truth
© 2005 John Parker

[ VERSE 1 ]

You can lie if you want to.
It's all right. There's nothing left to say.
Paper smiles we both see right through.
But we know things just can't carry on this way.

Nothing new on the way down
Here we stand with nowhere left to fall
Need to move, though we've forgotten how
There's nothing left to give when you've already given all

[ CHORUS 1 ]

All the while we're still pretending
Our final chapter has no ending.
Holding out for one last good excuse
(for hanging on)

Lost before we ever started
Alone though we had never parted
And now we find we simply have no use
For love's version of the truth.

[ VERSE 2 ]

Pair of hearts nearly broken
Just can't bare the burden of this weight
Though the words go unspoken now
There's still time to run before the pressure gets to great.

Each as blind as the other.
Both resigned, though no one laying blame.
Thinking back to the way things were
We rewind, but still the story ends the same.

[ CHORUS 2 ]

Same test passed down throughout history
To solve the riddles of love's mystery
But somehow we just couldn't find the clues
(along the way)

Sailed a course we never charted
A lesson for the brokenhearted
But now we find we simply have no use
For love's version of the truth.

John,
I saw you said you were new here, I don't remember if I have already welcomed you or not, so Welcome to the board! This is not really my genre, but I do know when I like what I hear and I like this. I think you did a good job with this song. Porduction sounds good to me, everything sounds balanced and mixed well and I really enjoyed listening. One small nit, I think you shoud take out the word "just" in the last line of the first verse. The line doesn't need it and it made the vocals seem a little rushed right there. Some times you can get by with adding filler words like that for syllable count, but avoid them when you can. Also, where "just" is used here is right before two words that start with the same consonant which make them rush together and harder to articulate. This is a very small nit though and is JMO. I really do like your song though!!!

Charles

Hi John,

Welcome!!

This sounds great! Like the feel, the music. All good. My only thing is i much prefer chorus two, the first two lines of chorus one don't seem to me to sit in well with the rest, but thats just me. Really, really like the way the last word in the verse is the same as the first word in the chorus, lyrically and musically. very neat.

Looking forward to hearing more.

Cheers

Alan

Thanks, Charles. I hear what you're saying about the word "just" as a filler, and I'd never looked at it that way...which is exactly why I posted this song here! I think you're right, and I'll definitely look at changing that up (and I'll watch for those fillers in future songwriting...I think I have a habit of using those.) Glad you liked it, and thanks again!

Alan -

Thanks for the feedback! I've always been afraid chorus two wasn't as strong as chorus one, so your preference for the second chorus makes me feel better in an odd kind of way. As for using the same word to end the verse and start the chorus...I think that idea was better in my head than it was in production, but I'm glad you liked it anyway

Thanks!

- John

John....that is so cool and well done. Love the groove you have going there....great production. There are a few small words here and there I might have left out so it doesn't sing rushed in some spots....but as usual...great vocs and delivery. Would like to hear those super vocs even more out front.

Great job on this, John.

Jan

Hi John:

It only plays for about 15 secs for me. Since the others haven't had that problem, it must be on my end.

Cool intro though

Scott

Hi John

Wow, golly gosh, I'm very pleased I didn't miss this, you got this Aussie girl moving, love it.

I'm gonna listen again!

Hugs
Michele

John,
I don't know what type of fuzz or distortion you are using on the guitar on the right that comes in and out, but it is way cool!!! Love the sound of it.

Hi John

Welcome to jpf

Nice introductory piece from you of your work..... It has a lot going for it -- good hook,,, nice little driving hooky riff -- productions sounds right in the pocket to my ears...all i all I don't have a nit..... it brought to my mind David Bowie, but then there was someone else moreso --- but I can't put my finger on it...

anyway, glad you are here to share with us.

jm

Post deleted by Bill Osofsky

Hi John,

Very cool song. Some very good lines here and the music goes so with them. Sounds like a really good demo too. I noticed by your copy write symbol you've added the date 2005. If you do try pitching this or sending it out to anyone, you may want to leave the date off. I have heard that it sends up a red flag, that maybe you have been trying for several years to get this heard and it keeps getting rejected. Just a thought. Awesome hook, too.

Ricki

Welcome to the JPF. I really like the musical groove you have going on here. My kind of stuff. I enjoyed the listen.

Kevin

Thanks to all for the comments! The note about the the copyright makes sense...thanks Ricki. I'm glad everyone seems to have enjoyed it. It's not my usual bit, but I've always liked how it came out. Perhaps between country tunes there will be more of this to come in the future

I just have to add..it's been a rough week for me, and these positive comments have gone a long way in getting my head back on track. Thanks again to all. Now...I have a couple of collaborations to get back to!