Who's Online Now
15 registered members (Sunset Poet, 9ne, chazma2, Guy E. Trepanier, couchgrouch, Everett Adams, DonnieWitt, stmoeller60, 2 invisible), and 143 guests, and
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Shout Box
Member Spotlight
Patrick Bryant
Patrick Bryant
Glendale, CA, USA
Posts: 941
Joined: April 2001
Show All Member Profiles 
What's Going On
A Page Of Reality?
by WilliamMahler. 01/23/21 11:24 AM
My Soul is Burning--light rock
by Vicarn. 01/23/21 11:24 AM
In Christ
by the_lyricwriter. 01/23/21 10:24 AM
In Christ
by the_lyricwriter. 01/23/21 10:18 AM
Your Aura Glows
by ant. 01/23/21 09:44 AM
Bridge pins
by 9ne. 01/23/21 09:37 AM
Stars Die Too
by ant. 01/23/21 09:32 AM
Acquiring A Thick Skin…
by Sunset Poet. 01/23/21 07:52 AM
Songwriter Scam Alert
by Everett Adams. 01/23/21 06:58 AM
::: Have A Good Time With Me :::
by IronKnee. 01/22/21 11:26 PM
I Can't Love You Anymore
by ant. 01/22/21 11:21 PM
First Love, Last Love (VIDEO & STUDIO RECORDING)
by VNORTH2. 01/22/21 03:56 PM
Songwriter Scam Alert
by Joanne Lurgio. 01/22/21 03:30 PM
It Is Done
by lane1777. 01/22/21 02:17 PM
Atonal music Anyone?
by John Lawrence Schick. 01/22/21 01:20 PM
The Ditty Bop Bar-n-Grill
by E Swartz. 01/22/21 12:59 PM
Answer Me
by DanielSimons. 01/22/21 07:17 AM
Ashley Mcbryde
by Marvin Adcock. 01/22/21 06:09 AM
Country songs needed
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/22/21 12:07 AM
To All Message Board Folks
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/22/21 12:05 AM
Name the last song that made you cry?
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/21/21 11:59 PM
I Miss America
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/21/21 11:09 PM
"Double Whiskey Night"
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/21/21 10:56 PM
It's All In Your Heart
by Gary E. Andrews. 01/21/21 06:33 PM
Tell It Like It Is
by WilliamMahler. 01/21/21 05:20 PM
Ruby Slippers
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/21/21 04:30 PM
Then there was you
by ckiphen. 01/21/21 03:09 PM
The Sheep
by WilliamMahler. 01/21/21 02:41 PM
Swim for It (2nd verse itis)
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/21/21 02:30 PM
Beer View Mirror
by Kay-lynn Carew. 01/21/21 02:21 PM
Top Posters(All Time)
Calvin 19,839
Travis david 12,064
Kevin Emmrich 10,938
Jean Bullock 10,330
Kaley Willow 10,240
Two Singers 9,649
Joice Marie 9,186
Mackie H. 8,931
glynda 8,679
Mike Dunbar 8,574
Tricia Baker 8,318
couchgrouch 7,938
Colin Ward 7,909
Corey 7,357
Vicarn 6,723
Mark Kaufman 6,588
Wyman Lloyd 6,578
ben willis 6,108
Lynn Orloff 5,788
niteshift 5,760
Louis 5,725
Linda Sings 5,608
KimberlyinNC 5,210
Neil Cotton 4,909
Derek Hines 4,893
DonnaMarilyn 4,666
Blake Hill 4,528
Bob Cushing 4,389
Roy Cooper 4,261
Bill Osofsky 4,199
Tom Shea 4,179
Cindy Miller 4,178
TamsNumber4 4,130
nightengale 4,096
MFB III 3,929
Caroline 3,865
Kolstad 3,816
Dan Sullivan 3,710
beechnut79 3,682
E Swartz 3,630
Dottie 3,427
joewatt 3,411
Bill Cooper 3,279
John Hoffman 3,199
Fdemetrio 3,054
Skip Johnson 3,027
Pam Hurley 3,007
Terry G 3,005
PopTodd 2,890
Harriet Ames 2,870
Nigel Quin 2,865
Sunset Poet 2,779
MidniteBob 2,760
Nelson 2,608
Tom Tracy 2,558
Polly Hager 2,526
Jerry Jakala 2,524
Al Alvarez 2,499
Eric Thome 2,448
Hummingbird 2,401
Stan Loh 2,263
Sam Wilson 2,242
Judy Hollier 2,232
Wendy D 2,225
Erica Ellis 2,202
TrumanCoyote 2,096
Marty Helly 2,027
maccharles 1,999
DukeWill 1,988
floyd jane 1,985
Clint Anglin 1,904
cindyrella 1,888
David Wright 1,866
Clairejeanne 1,851
Cindy LaRosa 1,824
Ronald Boyt 1,675
Iggy 1,652
Noel Downs 1,633
Rick Heenan 1,608
Cal 1,574
Jack Swain 1,554
GocartMoz 1,552
Pete Larsen 1,537
Ann Tygart 1,529
Tom Breshers 1,487
RogerS 1,473
Tom Franz 1,473
Chuck Crowe 1,441
Ralph Blight 1,440
Rick Norton 1,429
Kenneth Cade 1,429
bholt 1,411
Letha Allen 1,408
in2piano 1,404
Stan Simons 1,402
mattbanx 1,384
Jen Shaner 1,373
Deej56 1,372
Charlie Wong 1,347
KevinP 1,324
Vondelle 1,316
Tom W. 1,313
Jan Petter 1,301
scottandrew 1,292
DakLander 1,265
Gerry 1,255
PeteG 1,242
Ian Ferrin 1,235
lane1777 1,222
Glen King 1,214
IdeaGuy 1,209
AaronAuthier 1,177
summeoyo 1,172
Diane Ewing 1,158
joro 1,082
BobbyJoe 1,075
IronKnee 1,058
S.DEE 1,040
yann 1,037
Tony A 1,016
9ne 1,006
argo 986
peaden 984
90 dB 964
Wolvman 960
Jak Kelly 912
krtinberg 890
Drifter 886
Petra 883
RJC 845
Brenda152 840
JAPOV 833
Nadia 829
Juan 797
TKO 784
ant 782
Dayson 781
frahmes 781
teletwang 762
Andy K 747
tbryson 737
Andy Kemp 734
Jackie444 731
3daveyO3 704
Dixie 701
Joy Boy 695
Knute 686
Irwin 681
Lee Arten 678
Moosesong 667
Pat Hardy 665
ckiphen 658
Katziis 652
R.T.MOORE 638
quality 637
CG King 622
douglas 621
Mel 614
NaomiSue 601
Shandy 589
R&M 587
Ria 587
TAMERA64 583
qbaum 570
nitepiano 566
pRISCILLA 556
Tink2 553
musica 539
deanbell 528
RobertK 527
BonzaiWag 523
Roderic 522
BB Wilbur 512
goodfolks 499
Zeek 487
Stu 486
Steve P. 481
KathyW 462
allenb 459
MaxG 458
Philjo 454
fanito 448
trush48 448
dmk 442
arealrush 437
DGR 436
avweek 435
Stephen D 433
Emmy 431
Rob L 426
marquez 422
kit 419
Softkrome 417
kyrksongs 415
RRon 408
Laura G. 407
VNORTH 407
Debra 407
eb 406
cuebald 399
EdPerrone 399
Dannyk1 395
Hobart 395
Davyboy49 393
Smile 389
GJShades 387
Ezt 384
tone 380
Marla 380
Cecilee 379
iggyiggy 378
coalminer 377
java 374
spidey 371
sweetsong 370
danny 367
Jim Ryan 360
Alek 358
papaG 353
Z - man 350
JamesDF5 348
John K 348
Jaden 344
ddreuter 341
TheBaz 340
Steggy 339
leif 339
tonedeaf 336
rickwork 334
Eddie Ray 332
Johnboy 328
Bob Lever 328
Helicon1 327
lucian 326
Muskie 321
kc 319
Z. Mulls 318
ptondreau 313
ONOFFON 312
Chris B. 310
trush 304
ed323 297
Ellen M 294
markus-ky 292
lizzorn 291
nicnac49 290
pomeranj 289
Char 286
ktunes 285
mastrose 280
pammie 279
pd 277
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Rate This Thread
#739644 - 07/21/09 07:48 AM Watchin' Little Joey Play  
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 123
Roy Harris Offline
Serious Contributor
Roy Harris  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 123
Texarkana, Texas
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7858186

Watchin' Little Joey Play
Lyrics: Roy Harris
Music and Vocal: James Ryce

In a one bedroom apartment
Where the walls don’t hold back sound
Staring out the window
At the rain falling down
My mind keeps drifting back
To a much brighter day
When I was there with you
Watchin’ little Joey play

Chorus
Sitting in the backyard watchin’ as he swings
Push me higher daddy I can hear him sing
Catch me if I fall are the words he used to say
I’d give anything to be watchin’ little Joey play

I went to the park today
To help me pass the time
The place we used to go
When I was yours and you were mine
When I pulled in I saw your car
I had to turn away
Cause I couldn’t bear to sit there
Watchin’ little Joey play

Sitting in the backyard watchin’ as he swings
Push me higher daddy I can hear him sing
Catch me if I fall are the words he used to say
I’d give anything to be watchin’ little Joey play

Bridge
Now he’s singing in my memory
I can’t catch him if he falls
All I have now is a photograph
Hanging on the wall

Sitting in the backyard watchin’ as he swings
Push me higher daddy I can hear him sing
Catch me if I fall are the words he used to say
I’d give anything to be watchin’ little Joey play

©2009 James Ryce/Roy Harris
__________________

Last edited by Roy Harris; 07/21/09 07:50 AM.
#739714 - 07/21/09 02:48 PM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: Roy Harris]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,760
niteshift Offline
niteshift  Offline

Top 50 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,760
Fiji
Hey Roy,

Really like the structure, concept and delivery, musically it's interesting and the overall sound is great.

I'm not so sure about the lyrics. A little abstract perhaps, and and as a story piece, it kind of lacks the capture and bite of the music. I find it hard to relate and follow the story line, and didn't feel there was the payoff for this type of genre. Maybe the subject matter ? Then again, country isn't my main focus. I'd keep working on it, and perhaps approach it from a different angle lyrcally. It's a well structured song.

cheers, niteshift




#739766 - 07/21/09 06:51 PM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: niteshift]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Crozet, VA
Well performed demo and the structure is well crafted. I was a little lost in the lyrics. Even if they are divorced, he would have visitation rights and he would get to be in little Joey's life. I think you need to rethink this one.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#739815 - 07/21/09 10:56 PM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Michelle Chapman Offline
Serious Contributor
Michelle Chapman  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,139
Martinsburg,WV
Hi Roy,
I think that this is a very beautiful song but it did leave me with some question.I also was wondering why the singer didnt get to see Little Joey anymore?Did he not get visitation rights to his son?Was it even his son?(Perhaps it was the son of a former girlfriend and he became very fond of him and started calling him Dad)That would make the story make alot of sense,but we're left just not knowing.I guess that can work in alot of songs but in a song as beautiful and heartfelt as this one,I feel that listeners will want to know the answers.Very Nice song,Roy!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#739833 - 07/22/09 12:27 AM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 123
Roy Harris Offline
Serious Contributor
Roy Harris  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 123
Texarkana, Texas
Thanks for your comments, all of you. After posting this here and on another forum, we realize there is a flaw in the lyrics as Michelle pointed out. So, we are gonna redo the second verse and take the mom and boy out of the park and have them move so far away that he isn't able to visit with the boy and somehow make it all work with the existing music track. Thanks for your insight. And I'll let you in on a little secret. This is sort of based on a true life experience. You see, I am an old man, been married to this woman for fifteen years. We somehow ended up raising her little grandson from birth. Her daughter, my stepdaughter, had the boy and refused to take on a mother's role so my wife and I raised the little fella. He is four years old now and my best buddy. Well, long story short, we split and I'm living in an apartment in another town and I sure miss the little fella. Hell, nobody cares about an old man in a song, so I wrote this to try and make it a marketable song. Sometimes you just can't tell it like it is in a song. I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't say it. lol.

Last edited by Roy Harris; 07/22/09 12:35 AM.
#739846 - 07/22/09 12:51 AM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: Roy Harris]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 451
Mark Cockerill Offline
Serious Contributor
Mark Cockerill  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 451
Scunthorpe, North Lincs, Engla...
Yes, I like this, a little twee for my tastes but very well produced work all the same.

Dude

#739873 - 07/22/09 05:48 AM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: Mark Cockerill]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 81
JW Hanberry Offline
Serious Contributor
JW Hanberry  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 81
WA
Roy,
I really like the music and I think the story line can work. While you're redoing the 2nd vs you might want to make it more like the first verse in terms of syllables and line lengths. I don't tend to look technically at lyrics but the words should fit pretty much the same melody. For instance the fourth lines:
"At the rain falling down" and
"When I was yours and you were mine" just don't seem to sing the same.
It's certainly worth working on so keep after it.
Just pokin' my nose in.
JW


Listen to my newest stuff at GuitarSlinger.com
#739877 - 07/22/09 06:51 AM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: JW Hanberry]  
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,679
glynda Offline
Top 20 Poster
glynda  Offline
Top 20 Poster

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 8,679
Princeton Texas
Hey Roy, i think you did just fine telling this story and making it better will only make it a great song..man, you had my heart on the floor, could feel your pain and enjoyed this song alot, but with Michelles' sugg. on why he couldn't see the boy and you now telling why, well what can I say...it will be a great song, heartfelt.....captured my heart strings for sure...best of luck with it and can't wait to hear it redone...glyn

#739883 - 07/22/09 08:51 AM Re: Watchin' Little Joey Play [Re: glynda]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Kevin Emmrich Offline
Kevin Emmrich  Offline


Top 10 Poster

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 10,938
Crozet, VA
I think your story will work, just need to add something lyrically that says "He wasn't mine, but I treated him like he was".

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)

Support Just Plain Folks

We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.


Newest Members
andrealim199320, PerformanceManagemen, MarieHardway, dabbywang1201, WarpCanada
21316 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums116
Topics121,287
Posts1,141,082
Members21,316
Average Posts Daily23
Most Online37,523
Jan 25th, 2020
Just Plain Quotes
"No matter how many times you think to yourself you have heard it all, you are always wrong." –Brian Austin Whitney
Today's Birthdays
Paul Evans Pedersen (66)
Popular Topics(Views)
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.6.0