JPF Home Page Forums General Messages General Message Forum Only The Bad Die Young

A friend of mine died this week. I haven't seen him in five years. He died in prison.
We met in high school and were friends into my twenties, then we lost contact. He was very materialistic and wanted money and possessions while I was the complete opposite. He started dealing dope at a young age, but we still hung around together.
I saw him about five years ago and he showed me his new Corvette and continued to brag about all of the money that he gets.

I talked to a mutual friend last night about him. Apparently he had cancer, but the prison didn't feel that he deserved the care that a free person would get, so they let him die. I really don't know the story. All I know is that even though we went different directions, and he was probably responsible for helping others to get addicted to drugs he was still my friend.

I don't want sympathy replies because it's not called for except for his family. Anyone else have a friend who went astray? I guess they truely die young.

Not too many friends who've gone astray but family members.

Don't know your beliefs but it always helps me to know God went through the same feelings Himself.

There's some verses in the Bible that helps me deal with such lonesome times:


Isaiah 5:1-5

Now will I sing to my wellbeloved a song of my beloved touching his vineyard. My wellbeloved hath a vineyard in a very fruitful hill:

And he fenced it, and gathered out the stones thereof, and planted it with the choicest vine, and built a tower in the midst of it, and also made a winepress therein: and he looked that it should bring forth grapes, and it brought forth wild grapes.

And now, O inhabitants of Jerusalem, and men of Judah, judge, I pray you, betwixt me and my vineyard.

What could have been done more to my vineyard, that I have not done in it? wherefore, when I looked that it should bring forth grapes, brought it forth wild grapes?

I've watched some dear friends go down the tubes. It's absolutely devestating, and if you're not careful, they're drag you down with them.

I took a scuba diving class once, and one of the things we had to learn was to rescue someone stranded in the water. They said, "Put your respirator in your mouth and go UNDER the person, then get behind them and bring them to the boat, because after being in the water for a long period of time, they will literally crawl on top of you and cause you to drown! I always related this to friends who were going down the tubes. They are grasping at straws as they go down, and anyone they can "climb on top of" they will.

Your friend obviously climbed on top of enough people that he eventually had money, but what a sad life. Money means nothing. Material things mean nothing. If your life lacks love, honor, and integrity, then it doesn't matter what you surround yourself with or what you drive. You will always be longing and empty inside.

I'm so sorry about your friend, and I wish they would have at least provided him treatment. Who knows what he did to others, though. Karma plays a BIIIIG part in life, and sometimes it turns around to bite you in the ass.

Thanks Polly, the guy wasn't a musician , but had a big part in me learning music as far as his unlawful acts.

I hate to be a wet blanket, but there's no rhyme nor reason to this little riddle we call "life". I've known hundreds of people who are WONDERFUL who've gone too soon,or had horrible things happen to them, and just as many who are ASSHOLES who continue on. None of us will ever know the final answer til' our time comes. I just try to do the right thing because it's the right thing to do,and I feel a lot better when I do right by my fellow man,and there's no other motive on my part other than that. I struggle with the concept of "the invisble man in the sky". Every time I see evidence that he/she/ it/ may exist I see a hundred examples why it can't be possible. Hey dude, it's only been 2000+ years, don't you think it's about time you SHOW yourself????

HE'S coming soon. The devil's time is about up and he knows it and he is going around like a roaring lion seeing whom he can destroy. It's all in the bible, God wants no one to be lost, as soon as the last one gets saved that God knows will be saved, and God knows all, then HE will come.

Sorry Ben about your friend, unless he had a death bed conversion, he is lost. Sad.

Well, Some believe there is Chaos in the Universe and others believe there is Destiny. The truth is if it is supposed to happen it is going to happen because that is the way it was supposed to be. When bad things happen we don't like it but we have to live with it. I think we all lose loved ones before their time and it hurts. It is life.

Just wanted to say I struggle with some of the same thoughts you do.

Back in 2004, on Labor Day, as Hurricane Frances came through Georgia with wind and rain, I sat in a van with my mother at an 18 year old's funeral. She was named after my mom and her dad once said "I had three kids, one of them was good and she's gone now." She was the good kid. The other two have been in jail, prostituted themselves, stolen, etc. I wondered why she died in that wreck. I wondered why she had to be buried on her dad's birthday because I can never wish him happy birthday again.

A week later, on September 13, I was in the funeral home making arrangements for my mother's funeral. She was 83 but I wondered why God would take two people I loved in ten days. He gave no answer and before the month was over, another died and one went into ICU. One was in the ER downstairs an hour before my mother died upstairs.

Somehow though, God comforts me sometimes. Sometimes He doesn't. Even when He doesn't comfort me though, I know it could be a whole lot worse. For example, people can wish me a Happy Birthday and I can smile and say "thanks."

Thanks for listening.

Memo to Bob...Stay off the computer when you've been drinking all night. P.S Happy B-Day Eb!

Hi Bob. I enjoyed your drunken ranting A fun book you might like is called "Looking for Mary." It's by an NPR journalist who goes on sort of a quest because she keeps hearing about the appearances of the virgin mary. She's a skeptic as well. It's an incredible book. God does show up, all the time i believe it just takes an open heart.

BC, I would have never known! Looks sober enough to me. I hope this thread doesn't go negative with debates. Maybe the title is inappropriate, I just wanted to get attention with the title. It doesn't mean anything to me.
I knew that this guy was going to end up in prison, but to hear that he died in prison at a young age got to me and I just wanted to vent.

Memo to Bob:

It is okay to doubt. At times, when we are vulnerable or weakened, we all do. Believe what you will but also believe that you are important to me and I wish you the very best.

Memo to Ben:

Sorry for the loss of your friend. In life, despite what we think about social networking, we really have so very few "real friends." I lost a friend once by loaning him money. I always assumed that he was worried that he could not pay... and thus, avoided me. I would have given him the money if he had not asked for it as a loan. Life is short... gather all the friends you can while there is still light... and let them know you treasure them.

I got about a verse and a half of a song called "Mary on the side of the barn" about appearances of Mary. It was inspired by a sighting in north Georgia a few years ago.

Only The Bad Die Young. Only the good die young. Everybody poops. Everybody dies. Some do it at the same time.

That it's the reality of life doesn't make it any easier.

Some clever observer noted that on tombstones they put a dash between the year of birth and the year of death, and that dash represents their life. A whole life in a dash. And a dash goes by in a flash.

It's times like these that we assess that dash, and think about the choices we made, and the choices others made. Someone pointed out that, "When you decide one thing, you're often deciding others." You decide to get drunk, and at the same time decided to wreck your car. You didn't consciously say, "Gonna get drunk and wreck the car." You probably didn't even 'decide' to get drunk. You just did it. And the wreck was just a bonus. Or the divorce, or the prison sentence, or the funeral, or the day in court, the fine, the 'riding-the-bus' because you lost your license, which was ok because you don't have a car anymore.

But we get to think about our choices after times like these, and, for a while at least, make some deliberate ones. Good luck with yours. And bear with me for mine.

"I am not this body, this mind or person."

I have read all of the comments so far...with real interest since they were all mostly concerned with the physical manifestation called the body! Yes...it is certainly true that we observe and interact with the bodies that we see around us and the one we currently inhabit.

But do we ever really die? Is not ....the soul immortal? Nevertheless, we as spirit souls...do leave our bodies when they become useless like an old car that has broken down. We as spirit souls do not need a body to live..... but the body does need the soul to be "animated" or alive. When someone "dies" people say "he or she has gone". What or who has gone? The lifeless body is still there! Right? Right!

Further info can be found in the following article:
http://www.advaita.org.uk/discourses/unreal/notbody.htm

In the last paragraph of this article.... Death says in the Kathopanishad: -

"God made sense turn outward, man therefore looks outward, not into himself. Now and again a daring soul, desiring immortality, has looked back and found himself.
The ignorant man runs after pleasure, sinks into the entanglements of death; but the wise man, seeking the undying, does not run among things that die.
He through whom we see, taste, smell, feel, hear, enjoy, knows everything. He is that Self.
The wise man by meditating upon the self-dependent, all-pervading Self, understands waking and sleeping and goes beyond sorrow."


Thank you for taking the time to read this. Through these words....through our words... we have in someway....connected in a place that transcends time, the mind, and the body.

One thing I like to do is step outside at night and look up at the stars. I don't know why I do. It always makes me feel crappy when I think about how truly insignificant my life is in the scheme of things. Not that I think there really is a scheme. Nope. It is all just a coincidence IMHO.
We serve no purpose on this rock other than to procreate like any other creature. When they put you in the ground and cover you over your time is done.
Why do bad things happen to good people? Well the truth is bad things happen to everyone.

I have a brother who went astray. I guess that qualifies as a friend.

Two of my brothers are sick.
One has been a waste of good air since he was a teenager. He Broke his neck about twenty years ago drunk driving on his motorcycle. He came out of it with 50% loss in all his limbs. His triceps didn't work but biceps did, his index fingers and thumbs worked but the other fingers didn't, same with his legs etc, etc. But that didn't stop him. He kept drinking and driving, doing drugs, wrecked a few more cars, broke his neck twice again, shattered his knee, broke his jaw and cheek, and wrecked more cars than I have ever owned, His and the people he hit. Spent 3 years in Jackson Prison. Never supported the two daughters and two sons he fathered. What an jerk.
And, He is still at it. He is almost completely confined to a wheelchair and he is still at it. He was 6 feet 3 inches and a good looking guy. Now he's a shrunken shell weighs about 110 pounds. He is still alive, 60 years old and still an jerk.

My other brother is 55 tears old. Goes to church. He's a nice guy. Always worked, always tried to do the right thing. He got Malignant Melanoma in 2005. Quite a scare but he beat it. This January he was Diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma, non operable. He has been on Chemo since then. He has lost all his hair, lost about 50 pounds, and looks like an old man now. He goes in for the last Chemo treatment this week. It is a doozy. He will be in Isolation for three weeks because they will destroy his immune system trying to kill the cancer.
I don't think he will make it.
He is one of the guys we always say why do bad things happen to good people.

I love both my brothers but I would sacrifice the bad one to let the good one live.
But in the end I think I'd give them both what years I have left. I haven't contributed anything to brag about in my 65 years and I don't think I'll contribute anything in the next 20 or so if I live that long.
I lost whatever hope of eternity I had when I buried my third child in 1976. They were good kids.
Why do bad things happen to good kids. They were innocent children and never had a chance to experience this life.
The only good thing about it is they never had to face getting old and seeing their friends die then sit and wait their turn.

So Ben for your friend I say adios brother. I hope it was a good ride.
Ben, I am sorry you are hurting. I know you are. We all do.

This last year I have been losing more and more enthusiasm to write songs. This year especially. I even moved to Nashville. Now I wonder why.
Oh yeah. I like the weather.
I've been thinkin' about selling off my equipment and buy a Harley.
No takers on my signature.

Ben,
I'm sorry about your friend. Like somebody said, bad things happen to all people. We all wonder about our purpose, especially after you've kissed deaths door. I posted a lyric "Lost Girl" on the very subject of trying to wake someone up to get off drugs. What's not in the lyric is the ending. It's a serious issue. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Patti

Thanks. :-)

Bob, well if this is all you could come up with after drinking all night..... then we really need to get together for a drink.. because, I'm thinking all this stuff after a couple of 3.2 beers at the Ball Park (well, when we're losing).... no! probably even when we're winning and I'm sober (no laughing). It may be strange.....but I know after a night of "Navy Rum" (160 proof) with a few of my buddys, we have have solved pretty much all of the world's problems...we just don't remember how we did it that clearly the next day

Oh, and he better show up before the comet in 2012

Thanks Steve, I feel better now! {LOL}

HiYa Ben!

Sorry your friend chose the Wrong Path..Paid a Price..& now has paid the Ultimate One... Well, at least you Stayed His Friend..so it coulda been worse.

I got 2 friends doing-time as we speak...One's Innocent, for-sure, but he's so-far served 6 1/2 years of a Decade Sentence...the other just started a 15 year stretch..as nice a guy as I've ever-known (& my Accountant for 30 years..as well as my friend.) Was managing a Trust for an elderly lady..who gave him a hefty Gift...then went Senile..her kids took over/wanted the Gift given-back, took it to Court..Judge wanted him made an Example-Of. He's hopefully got a good lawyer for his Appeals..& he's one of the nicest/most intelligent (& Honest) Folks I've ever known.

Both these nice folks are losing a Decade..or more..of their lives. They'll live through it at least...but life, for sure, is far from fair.

Sorry you've lost a chum...There sure seems to be a whole lotta dying going around these days/I doubt your friend was "All Bad" or you'd probably not have befriended him...

Best Wishes, Big Sympathetic Guy-Hug,
Stan

Bill, I don't know why bad things happen to good people, but I would suggest reading the Book of Job in the bible, it might give some insight. Also the Word says that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.

Welcome to the board Shirley Marie, a lot of truth in what you say.

It is not easy to understand.

Tom

Everett
I have read the Book of Job. He had it easy.

Why is it that anytime someone questions if God exists do people automatically assume they are ignorant and have never read the Bible?

Sorry Bill, I was not implying that you were ignorant, I was just pointing out that bad things happen to good people, even people of faith. Good people are attacked more often than bad people because they follow God, Satan does not like that, bad people are already in Satan's camp, so he leaves them alone.

Hey guys,

It goes the 0ther way as well. There is a man I know who would be your stereotypical rich guy. Really bitter, all he cares about is money and stepping on other people. Kind of like Mr. Potter in "It's A Wonderful Life". He and my father actually had business dealings for many years in the 70's and 80's. My Father made him a LOT of money.
My Dad and I had a business that bought, sold, and restored classic automobiles. Jaguars, Mercede's, Muscle cars, Caddilacs, etc. This guy bankrolled the operation with private financing. And he got many cars for his collection. In the recession of 1990-91, collector art, cars, etc. all took a big financial hit. The bottom dropped out and we had a lot of inventory we couldn't sale. This guy actually owned the cars. But he expected his profit. So he took my Father's house. He already had 4 houses but took my Dad's out of spite and desire to get his money back.
They were in business for 20 years.
Shortly thereafter he was diagnosed with terminal liver and pancreatic cancer. He was given 6 months to live. It has been around 17 years since then and he is still alive. He went to various medical clinics around the world, found experimental treatments and now is still healthy and doing fine. And an ass.
So sometimes the good die young and the bad just don't die.

MAB

Everett
Knee jerk response from me i think.
Sorry about that.
I did not mean you were saying I was ignorant in general, just about the bible.

No problem Bill. I'm glad you are well versed in the bible, I read it daily and I am still learning from it. There are a lot of people that have never read and don't intend to read the bible, which surprises me, the most important book in the world, which is so readily available in the Western world. Some parts of the world the bible is outlawed and not readily available, people there risk their lives by reading it, still they do so, it means so much to them. Slowly in this part of the world we are outlawing things of God, I wonder who is behind that. Jesus said when I return, will I find faith. The bible also said " there will come a time when there will be a famine, not for food, but for the Word".