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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 113
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My Way Around
c.2009 Lori Clevenger
i just wrote this today. theres no melody yet. any ideas welcome!
its been a long long time since ive been down this road past these city limit signs back into another time the eyes of town are sleepy but they see each turn i take past the porches and the swings back to all those summer things
chorus: the streets a little wider the paints a little fresher the roots a little deeper in the ground but its a short trip back from my long time gone and i still know my way around
they added on the high school that ancient red brick building it comes to life each fall my ghost still roams the hall theres the road down to the river Jimmy took me after prom he gave me my first kiss and took things i still miss
chorus: the streets a little wider the paints a little fresher the roots a little deeper in the ground but its a short trip back from my long time gone and i still know my way around
bridge: it only took 10 minutes to drive straight through a lifetime and it makes me want to turn around and take that drive again
chorus: the streets a little wider the paints a little fresher the roots a little deeper in the ground but its a short trip back from my long time gone and i still know my way around __________________
There are no more new frontiers.. We have got to make it here
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Lori,
I love this, I think its a great down home story!
Geneva
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Joined: Jun 2009
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Ruby,
I really like this one. I think it's one most people can relate to. bd (2 thumbs up)
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
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Hi Lori, Looking pretty good 'Bout the only nit I'd have right off is the use of "time" as an end rhyme twice in the first V. Another possibility for line 4--V 1 "To a world that once was mine" KOS Overall, I like it Wy
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697
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Lori....there are so many great lines in this..too numerous to mention. Only nit I had was the same as Wy....he has given you a fine example of how to tweak that though...this is a lyric that places us there....very visual...you have laid out the imagery so well on this.
great write!
I'm hearing country??? (Or not?)
Jan
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
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HiDee Mz Lori!
Nice & Comfy One ya got here!
Interesting ya grew up in Columbus? Me, Jr Hi and HS in Berea and College in Wooster..& for me, no big desire to return..except to visit my Sis & her family in Medina, & Cousin Joyce in Pleasant Home. I couldn't wait to leave Ohio behind & see the Globe. &..after 35 years in FLA...got the Same Wanderlust all over again!
For Ohio visits, I'd add "The Trees a Lot TALLER" too..heh! (& the Pavement all broken up from The Winters...yep!)
Good Song..& OK, it DID make me a Wee-Wee-WEE-bit Homesick for the Good Ol' Buckeye State again..JUST in the Summer Months..heh!
Good Luck with this'n' & Big Hugs, Stan
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thanks everyone Wy thats a good idea. even tho the first "time" isnt part of a rhyme pattern, it is an aliteration. i hadnt seen it! yes Janice, definitely country! i dont know how to write anything else Stan, ive lived in Ohio most of my life, but when i think about going home, it W.Va. my mom was born in Coal Branch Holler, Logan, W.Va. and thats the part of my family i grew up with. this song however, isnt really about that. i honestly dont know where it came from! i wrote it in about 20 minutes last night after talking with friends. must have been something they said lol!
There are no more new frontiers.. We have got to make it here
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 176
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Lori, I felt like I was right there with you. Great lines. There are a few rhymes that may need a bit as said above. Take care Patti
Patti Smith-Lyric writer Wanted CO-WRITERS
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 113
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thanks Patti! im going to tweak those rhymes a little
There are no more new frontiers.. We have got to make it here
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