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#736015 - 07/08/09 03:42 PM Now I Lay Me Down  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Here's one that Greg and I wrote that many of you may have read on the lyric boards. Mark Preston came in on this one and here is the results.

http://www.soundclick.com/janicehopkins


Now I Lay Me Down © 2009 Janice Hopkins/Greg C. Brown/Mark D. Preston

My tiny angel down on her knees
Elbows propped up on her bed
Ten little fingers laced in prayer
From the door I heard the words she said

God bless Mommy….God bless Daddy
Baby brother, fluffy too
Please keep the world a loving, happy place
I know it’s something only you can do

And then she prayed…..

Now I Lay Me Down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

My Dad ran out when I was twelve
Twenty years again we’d meet
He smelled of wine, an empty shell
I watched him stagger down the street

Someone said they heard him pray
His bloodshot eyes were wet with tears
He cursed the dark, begged forgiveness then
Said my God I’ve wasted all these years

And then he cried…

Now I Lay Me Down in pain
Like my clothes my soul is stained
Soon they’ll lay me in my grave
I pray my soul can still be saved

Two years later in the ICU
Heartaches swelled inside my throat
He turned and whispered toward his last sunset
The final words Daddy ever spoke

And then he prayed…
Now I Lay Me Down to die
It’s not for me to question why
Lord I think I understand
Belief in You was Your great plan

Now I Lay Me Down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take….







#736025 - 07/08/09 04:17 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Michelle Chapman Offline
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Hey Janice and Greg,
wow!words escape me...i dont even know what to say...this is such a sad but so sweet story.Definitely a tear jerker from the beginning,but will probably have listeners sobbing by the end......
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


#736031 - 07/08/09 04:36 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
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Hi Jan and Greg:

Musically, I think this is terrific.

Lyrically, I think it is a very cool idea to start with that prayer that everyone has said and then modify it as you go. The verse lyrics are very well-written too, I think.

And I love the ending with the children singing.

The only thing I'm not sold on is the structure of the story. It feels to me like the tiny angel part should come last - like he was able to see how his father wasted so many years and the implication that he wasn't going to make the same mistake. Coming first as it does kinda just makes it seem like two independent story lines to me.

I might be missing something, of course. You had it posted on the lyric board so it sounds like you vetted it pretty thoroughly. I tried to find the thread but it must have been awhile back... smile

I dunno - see what others say. Might just be me....

Has a lot of power to it, in any case.

Scott

#736036 - 07/08/09 04:59 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Michelle,

So glad that you listened. I'm glad that evoked emotion. Didn't mean to make you cry though....well, maybe just a little.

Thanks so much for listening and letting it make you feel.

We three appreciate that.

Jan

#736054 - 07/08/09 05:47 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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This is really great. and I love Mark's voice singing this..I loved it from start to finish...thanks for sharing it with us..glyn

#736059 - 07/08/09 06:10 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: glynda]  
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Two Singers Offline
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Janice,

You can't do a lot better than having Greg as a collaborator. He's a very, very talented lyricist, as are you. A couple of really super talents working together on this one. Mark did a really nice demo for you, too.

There's lots to like in this one. Sad, yet uplifting...a nice blend of opposing emotions. I liked it from beginning to to end. very nice song!

Alan

#736061 - 07/08/09 06:13 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: glynda]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Scott...thanks for the good words on at least some of this. We will definitely take a look at what you've said.

What we were trying to show is that...we all start out as innocents...then sometimes life goes astray...but in the end, when we meet our Maker, we all return to that innocent child again.

We really appreciate your take on it though...that's what we need to hear...and we will certainly think on it.

Thanks Scott...

Jan

#736090 - 07/08/09 08:45 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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in2piano Offline
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Well Miss J...this is a great little tune and Mark did a fab job on the vocals...and I really like the melody on this one..and the kids at the end were a kiiler touch..juat a really fine job you guys....

Larry


Can't find the stairway to 'heaven'...but I know where the elevator is.

Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us" - Albert Schweitzer.
#736237 - 07/09/09 03:57 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: in2piano]  
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Thanks to all for listening and taking time to share your thoughts:) Most of all thanks to Janice and Greg for including me on what I thought was a pretty powerful lyric.... Powerful enough I was reluctant to try the demo, but had fun doing it. Thanks also to the kids who sang..... Jessica Carmichael, Harley Preston and Amy Maxwell:)


MDP:)
#736289 - 07/09/09 10:11 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: mprest]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Glynda,

Hi there...thank you so much for listening. We are all glad that you like it. Mark worked so hard at the production of this one..he certainly needs to be commended for his great efforts. Greg and I are so pleased with the results.

Jan

#736294 - 07/09/09 10:26 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Crozet, VA
I actually read the lyrics first and I thought that it read like a very good story. The music interpretation is very well done, too. No reason that this couldn't end up on an album somewhere.

Scott might be right on the song's structure, but it is still OK as is. Good job and collaboration. Hard to beat a mandolin, also.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
Kevin @ bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh (and Kevin @50/90 2019)
#736296 - 07/09/09 10:36 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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This is lovely, Janice. An all-round excellent collaboration. smile

My only nit is that I was a little confused as to the sequence of events. I wasn't sure who was singing the part 4 (maybe indicate the verses) - the child or the father. Perhaps the first line could read something like:
My own Dad ran out when I was twelve

Keep or sweep. wink

Donna


Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.

http://www.reverbnation.com/donnamarilynrichblend




#736325 - 07/09/09 12:35 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: DonnaMarilyn]  
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Caroline Offline
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Hey all, love it, all of it. A quick fix for the issue Scott mentioned, which when I read it, I had the same thought, is to dub "grandpa" in "fluffy's place" and then he's in the beginning, and it may make more sense.

Vocally, great, lyrically awesome, and all around, touching, perfect melody...two thumbs up!


Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
#736328 - 07/09/09 12:54 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Caroline]  
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Roy Harris Offline
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Count me in as really liking this one. Great production with Mark singing and the kids at the end added a real nice finish to it. I always love to hear kids singing in a song. Great co-lab.

#736368 - 07/09/09 03:49 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Roy Harris]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Alan,

Thanks so much for your kind words. Greg and Mark thank you too...I am very sure. It's great working with both of them. We continue to write together....and are loving the process.

We're so glad that this song touched you.....that of course is what we were going for on this one....the children only added to that....they were so sweet. Mark did a great job getting them together for this.

Thanks again, Alan

Jan

#736388 - 07/09/09 04:51 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Michelle Chapman]  
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Greg C. Brown Offline
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"There's no crying in baseball!" (Tom Hanks, A League of Their Own)

But if you want to cry over one of our songs, Michelle, you go righat ahead. We're all thrilled that it touched you in such an emotional way. We're especially proud of it.

Thank you so much.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736390 - 07/09/09 04:55 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Greg C. Brown Offline
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Scott,

Thanks a lot for the visit and the supportive comments. I think Jan gave an excellent explanation of how we were looking at this song to be perceived. But should others have a similar concern, we'll definitely take another look at it.

Musically, I'm glad it worked for you. Mark deserves tons of credit for that side of the project.

Thanks again!

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736391 - 07/09/09 04:56 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: glynda]  
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Greg C. Brown Offline
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Glynda, thanks for the support and encouragement. We spent lots of time on this one, and it's thrilling to know that it seems to be paying off.

Glad you liked it.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736393 - 07/09/09 05:03 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Two Singers]  
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Awww, Alan, you're only saying that 'cause it's true. smirk No, no, no, I'm just kidding. LOL Thank you for such kind words, but I feel fortunate to write with someone who makes me look a tad deeper inside myself and bring out something better than what I would have come up with on my own. (Take a bow, Janice!)

Coming from such a talented writer and musician as yourself (yeh, I know I've said it before, and I mean it), your words of support and encouragement mean more than you know.

Thanks so much, my friend!

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736396 - 07/09/09 05:11 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: in2piano]  
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Hi Larry. Thank you for your continued support and encouragement of our songs. Jan has been a real treat to work with. We seem to think alike in many ways, although some people may see that as a dangerous thing. laugh It has helped us turn out a handful of what we think are pretty decent lyrics, so maybe it's not too dangerous.

We had thought from the beginning that having children sing on this song would be a crowning touch. Mark did a fabulous job of pulling that all together for us. We're thrilled that it did the trick for you.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736397 - 07/09/09 05:14 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: mprest]  
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Greg C. Brown Offline
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Ladies and gentlemen, Mark D. Preston! (applause)

And how about those kids, Jessica, Harley and Amy. (applause)

Thank you, Mark. If Janice and I write anything that's good, you only make it better.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736398 - 07/09/09 05:18 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Kevin Emmrich]  
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Hi Kevin. Yep, that mandolin alone is worth the price of admission, in my humble and somewhat biased opinion. We told Mark that whatever he did with the music while this was in progress, he had to leave the mando in.

Thanks for giving this a few minutes of your time. It really means a lot to us.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736400 - 07/09/09 05:20 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: DonnaMarilyn]  
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Thank you, Donna. That is something for us to think about. We'll look at it a little more and see where we may need to make some adjustments.

We're all pleased that you like it over all. Thanks for the visit.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736401 - 07/09/09 05:23 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Caroline]  
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Greg C. Brown Offline
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Hmmm, you may be on to something there, Caroline. We used "Fluffy" because it seemed like something a child would say in a bedtime prayer, but Grandpa could easily do as well, especially if there's major concern about who, what, where and when. We'll take that under advisement.

Thank you for your thoughts. We truly appreciate it.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736403 - 07/09/09 05:25 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Roy Harris]  
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Greg C. Brown Offline
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Thanks, Roy. This one has been a true labor of love, to use an old cliche, and to know that it's connecting with folks is a huge thrill for all of us.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#736417 - 07/09/09 07:01 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Greg C. Brown]  
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Caroline Offline
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Greg, I don't really thinks it's much concern, just introduces who seems like the main character sooner. Since this is about missed opportunities, wasted years and hurt, it may be helpful to have him show up earlier.
Not a huge issue, but this is full of potential, there's no reason to not cover every little detail.
As I said though, great work, completely enbjoyed the listens.


Caroline


http://www.myspace.com/carolineholder
http://www.soundclick.com/carolinewroteit

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them! (Dove Dark Chocolate)
#736460 - 07/09/09 10:32 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Caroline]  
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Letha Allen Offline
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Janice, Greg and Mark and Kids,

Just beautiful....

Letha

#736600 - 07/10/09 09:18 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Letha Allen]  
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Kolstad Offline
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Greg/ Janice/ Mark,

Just wanted to pay my respects for your effort here. Great sounding production, clear as hell, I really need to study more on well balanced mixes after hearing this!

Wonderful all around. Mark proves it is well earned that he got the songwriter of the month award recently over at T...smith :-)

#736627 - 07/10/09 11:00 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Kolstad]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Larry...thanks so much....you're opinion is very much appreciated. We're glad that it works for you. We all worked very hard on this one....glad you liked the "little ones"....we all did too.

Jan

#736628 - 07/10/09 11:02 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Kevin,

Thank you so much. We're glad that it works for your ears....we were definite on the mando....real happy with that.

And that album cut...hey....we like hearing that too.

Thanks so much,

Jan

#736629 - 07/10/09 11:03 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Donna,

Thanks so much for giving our efforts your ear. We will certainly take your suggestions to heart. We do so appreciate them all...and the time you spent listening as well.

Jan

#736630 - 07/10/09 11:04 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Caroline...thanks for the two thumbs up and for caring enough to give suggestions...thanks for that...we all appreciate it so much.

Jan

#736631 - 07/10/09 11:06 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Roy....I thank you for weighing in on this one. Your comments are so appreciated and are so validating to us on this one.

Yeah....the kids were so sweet....we feel like they did a great job for us.

Thanks...

Jan

#736679 - 07/10/09 03:14 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Letha....thank you so much for listening. We're glad that you liked it. It turned out just as we envisioned it from the start of the writing process. Doesn't happen that way too often, but with my two co-writers....that quadruples the odds.

Jan

#736706 - 07/10/09 05:58 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Mags....

Thanks so much for giving this a listen....yes, I agree...it is no surprise that Mark wins such honors...he works very hard and deserves it all.

I'm glad that you liked this song..

Jan

#736998 - 07/11/09 07:39 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Jan,Greg,Mark and kids,

Wow! You all should be so proud....you have done such a fabulous job with this. It is just beautiful. I remember seeing it on the Lyric board....it tugged at my heart then too!

There was a lot of thought and attention to detail put in this....and it shows throughout.

My best to you,
Gail















#737003 - 07/11/09 07:49 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: CG King]  
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It is beautiful, didn't have a chance to comment earlier, but this is a solid write all the way around


http://www.soundclick.com/danoconnell
A Purveyor of Folk Music
#737074 - 07/11/09 11:00 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Dan O'Connell]  
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Gail,

We're so glad that you remembered this lyric and that you came back to listen once the production was ready to post.

Thanks for the kind words. We're glad that it hit you right.

We appreciate that so much.

This was a true labor of love on all of our parts.

Jan

#737097 - 07/11/09 11:47 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Scunthorpe, North Lincs, Engla...
This is as a professional a recording as they get, wonderful sound, musically terrific well done.

Dude

#737114 - 07/12/09 12:07 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Dan O'Connell]  
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Well Dan, we're glad you found your way here. Thanks for lending us your ears for a few minutes. We're rather proud of this one and glad you enjoyed it as well.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#737119 - 07/12/09 12:11 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Mark Cockerill]  
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From a fine musician like yourself, Mark, your comments are very well received. I'm still listening to "Live A Little". Now that's a great tune!

Thank you for giving our song a little of your time. We all truly appreciate it.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#737127 - 07/12/09 12:18 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: CG King]  
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Letha, Magne and Gail,

Let me take a second and thank all of you, too. We consider ourselves to be in really good company with the likes of such talented people.

Thanks for the support and encouragement. Sure means a lot to us.

Greg


If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding.
#737154 - 07/12/09 01:00 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Greg C. Brown]  
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Janice,
What a great song. I like the touch of the children at the end.
Patti


Patti Smith-Lyric writer Wanted CO-WRITERS
#737160 - 07/12/09 01:36 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Hey Janice, Greg & Mark,

Well I hope you're happy -- because at the moment I'M boo-hooing all over the place! cry

Still, I enjoyed this thoroughly. I think Al had some interesting points about the juxtaposition of the hopeful/hopeless emotions....and I thought it was clever how it worked on the obvious level about these specific people, but how it represented the life cycle as well.

I do think Caroline's idea about including grandpa in the little girl's prayers is a good one. Maybe you could have her say "EVEN grampa too"....to foreshadow there's some reason why she might not necessarily be encouraged to pray about him (does that make sense?).

As far as the children singing at the end, hmmmm, it seemed a smidge contrived to me. I wonder if you can tuck in something like, "got home, dried my eyes, climbed the stairs just in time to hear...."

Just a thought, KOS. If it came down to it, I probably would prefer the solo child vocalist.

That aside, I LOVED this in case you couldn't tell. Poignant lyrics, and a heartfelt musication and vocal. Very very nice.

Keep up the good work,
Beth



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#737248 - 07/12/09 12:25 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Patti,

Thanks so much for listening. We're glad that you liked it.

Have a great day.

Jan

#737340 - 07/12/09 06:17 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Beth...thanks for the good words and suggestions on this one. Didn't mean to make you cry....well, maybe just a little. We do appreciate the time you spent with it...and for your ideas. We take all of them to heart, believe me.

hope you are doing well..

Jan

#737695 - 07/13/09 09:29 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Hi Janice,

I just got to take a quick listen but I thought I'd drop my two cents. You know I love everything you write. This is really emotional, and it touched me. Great job with this one.

Heather


"Only those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly." - Robert Kennedy

"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down." - Jimmy Durante
#737851 - 07/14/09 11:00 AM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Heather N. Orwig]  
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Thanks for giving this a listen, Heather. I'm glad that you liked it. I appreciate your kind words too....to be sure.

Jan

#737868 - 07/14/09 12:17 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Charles Kirkland Offline
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Texas
Janice, Greg and Mark,
I really like this. Very nice job. Melody sounds perfect for the lyrics. I love the kids at the end. Nice touch. Mark delivered this one quite well. Best of luck with it and thank you for sharing.

Charles

#737914 - 07/14/09 02:21 PM Re: Now I Lay Me Down [Re: Charles Kirkland]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Charles....glad that you like this one by the three of us. I also think that Mark wrote the perfect melody to fit Greg's and my lyric. He worked diligently to get this to where it is....found the children and got them recorded....a great guy to work with...and filled with talent.

Thank you so much for listening...we appreciate that so much.

Jan

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