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Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for listening and for the compliments.I appreciate it very much!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Michelle
this is just so wonderful. Beautiful writing, beautiful voice
I thought I was listening to the radio ...

it should be a hit anywhere. Perfect in everyway

beautiful song beautiful voice


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Hi Bob,
Thank you very much!I appreciate that!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Michelle,

I don't have much to add to what's already been said. Apart from a chorus that maybe could use a wee bit more energy (anger?) - others have said things to that effect, more or less - I think this is a very good song. Well done, I'll keep an ear to your next productions, and I like this a lot.

Take care,
Yann


"Honey, I know, I know, I know times are changin' / It's time we all reach out 4 something new" (Prince)

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Hi Dan,
Thank you for being so kind!It is so nice to hear comments like that.I am so glad that you like it.
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Michelle. My ornery slow computer wouldn't cooperate the other day when I wanted to hear this, so I just now got the chance. Wow, it was definitely worth waiting for!

The melody and lyrics are beautiful. Heather, as usual, has done a grand job handling the vocal.

Be extremely proud of this one. It's that good.

Greg


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Hi Yann,
I'm already thinking about the next production on this one,and probably gonna go for it in a few days.Havent made any final decisions yet,because I want to get it just right,using the opinions of everyone who has posted regarding this.Thank you so much for listening and for your suggestion.
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Michelle,

Wow! is my best superlative for this. It has everything, great lyrics, great verse melody, great chorus melody, a positive framing of a sad story, outward directed. A real female sing a long'er!

Only two lines I think were weak were the opening couplet of the bridge:

so i've been doing a little thinking
and i'm thinking that their right

I think you can beat that one, but otherwise, you should be real proud of this!

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Hi Michelle. At last I can post my comment - so many times I've tried and each time I click on "Submit", the site closes down for me! Famous last words, it can do it again now. Oh well, I can only try.. I love your song, Michelle, it's totally beautiful - your lyric and your melody. It's really exciting to hear how you're getting more and more confidence and it works!
I love the vocals, so pretty and so much in harmony with your song. Keep posting, Michelle. You'll have a lot of fans, that's for sure.

Nadia


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Hi Michelle,

Haven't been on here as much as I'd like to recently, so only getting around to hearing your song. And well, it was worth the wait.

The verses are perfect in my opinion, and the bridge, I would agree regarding the chorus, but that's about it.

Having Heather sing the song really makes it , she has a great voice and i think does this song a great service, as she does with all her songs.

Well done, and I guess you don't have to worry about finding a music writer now .

Cheers

Alan

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Hi Magne,
Thanks for the "WoW"!I appreciate your compliments so much.Thanks for the suggestion.
Love,Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Nadia,
Thank you.I'm not sure about fans,but I sure have made some very nice friends.Thanks so much Nadia
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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You are very welcome, Michelle, yes, friends and fans!
Nadia


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Liked this a lot, just imagine what it would be like with a full production job on it. It's probably been said further up but there is two days of post to read through and I don't normally read what others think anyway.

Good song, just needs that kick arse band behind it.

Dude

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Michelle-

I feel very priveleged to have been one of the lucky ones to have heard this in its original form earlier!!!

YOU ARE ON FIRE GIRL!

Hopefully your confidence is boosting with every response you receive here. Alot of people can see, hear, feel your natural talent just exploding through these lyrics. Great job.

Heather Cowles-Morris did a wonderful job with the vocals and music.

LOVE IT!

Take care, vicki


Open to co-writers and collaborations with other lyricists and/or musicians.
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Hi alan,
Glad you made it back and happy that you stopped here to listen.I appreciate all of your compliments so much!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Mark,
Thanks for taking time to listen.I appreciate the compliment also.I'm in the process of choosing someone for full production,I hope that you will return when I have accomplished that,to let me know your opinion.
Michelle


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wow... just wanted to post my appreciation.

for some reason i hear the word 'tears' sung at a soaring high note on the chorus, build some drama and variety into it,

'please don't shed any tears... if he was worth your tears'

could be done with harmonies too.

i'm going to adopt that hook as my personal slogan smile great message, empowering and positive. i hope to hear it on the radio soon - it's really great! wouldn't change a word.

Last edited by babette; 06/03/09 02:33 PM.
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I just listened again. It stands up on repeated listening for me. Very nice.

Tom


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Hi Vicki,
Thank you so much!you are always so kind to me.And yep,you did hear it before anyone else....and suffered through hearing ME singing it,and for that I am grateful.Sounds WAY different with Heather singing it,huh?...Thanks for everything ,Vicki.
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Thanks Babette,
I got the idea for the song because of my sixteen year old daughter.she has a boyfriend who is always making her cry,and i'm always trying to explain to her that he isnt worth her crying over,if he doesnt care enough for her to not make her cry in the first place.hope she will soon learn that it is true...thanks again babette
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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such a simple idea, but one that takes us so long to learn sometimes smile so glad that you are putting this song out there in the world, it's a great message for your daughter and for lots of people and just a KILLER song overall.

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thanks for a 2nd listen, Tom!


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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yes Babette,it is very true.thank you once again for your compliments...i really hope that this song does get out into the world....if you lay the song aside,its still a good message,and one that I hope many will take to heart....thank you so much.
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hey Michelle,

Yep, that's a nice piece of songwriting. Simplicity and honesty in delivery, are hard to achieve without being boring. ( which it's not ) It's easy to hear it will work up to full production/arrangement very easily. I can hear a finished arrangement in my head, and lots of harmonics, so I reckon you've written a keeper.

cheers, niteshift

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Thanks Niteshift,
Your kind words mean alot to me.Cheers to you as well..............
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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I just wanted to thank everyone for all of the great feedback that I received for this...so now I'm off to get try to get full production.If anyone one has any further suggestions or could possibly refer me to a really good (and affordable)demo production company,I would greatly appreciate it....
Thanks again everyone...Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Michelle

Wow, I seem to be listening to Heather a lot tonight, isn't she just amazing, whistle I love her voice, and she certainly nailed this one also.

Congratulations on such a beautiful song, I'm going to listen again. grin

Aussie fan
Michele

Last edited by Michele Bolton; 06/05/09 12:27 PM.
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Hi Michelle! This is a beautiful song! It's jam packed with emotion and the deep feelings are so well interprepted and expressed by Heather. Two thumbs up! Love it!
-Dave


"No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky." - Bob Dylan

"A song is anything that can walk by itself." - Bob Dylan

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Hi Michele,
Thanks for listening.Heathers voice is all over the boards and deservingly so.She's awesome.I've listening to your music and you have a lovely voice also.Good luck with your musical career.
Michelle(the other one)


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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had to chime in and thank yall for the comments directed to me : ) I this the hook is a great one too

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Hi Drifter,
Thanks for your kind words.They are appreciated so much!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hey, finally got around to listening. You've really made quite a splash in the short time you've been here -- you really have a chance to do something with your writing career. Also getting heather to sing is always a plus!!

I see there has been some talk about the differentiation in the verse/chorus/bridge type approach and there's a lot of stuff that can be dome there.

To me -- (although it was good) -- the overall feel was just a little draggy. You either need some different melodic lines, a killer bridge or a more impassioned free-form vocals. You might consider asking heather to work on the melody for you.

In any case, good stuff!

Kevin


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Hi Kevin,
Thanks



for



listening.




Thank

you for the compliments.

I'm just kidding bout the spacing thing...remember?lol.
Seriously,thanks you for everything that you have said.it means alot to me.


I think that you were probably one of the first people to respond to me when I first joined back a few months ago.Thanks for the help,Kevin.
Michelle

Last edited by Michelle Chapman; 06/06/09 12:22 AM.

*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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In my opinion(not that my opinion is worth much LOL) you have the IT to be a good, if not great songwriter. I agree with the remarks by others about making the chorus and bridge stand out from the verses by bringing the music and vocals up a bit to display more emotion and anger. Good song, keep going, the more you write, the better you will get.


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May the flowers of love forever bloom in your garden of life

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Thank you Everett.....and just want you to know that I value your opinion very much...its worth alot to me(even if you werent saying such nice things).................Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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LOL, I do remember that spacing thing. Writing a reply and writing a song have similarities -- they both need a natural ebb and flow. Keep writing, you are very good at it.

Kevin


"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
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Thanks Kevin...it's very kind of you to say that.It means alot to me.


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Michelle,

I didn't read the other posts but maybe sometimes that's a good thing...anyway...simple lyrics but simply lovely and this is a perfect tune for Heather, good choice there!!

In the Chorus 2nd line I am guessing it's the friends saying "I hope that you will try" but it's alittle confusing because it sounds like the person singing the song is saying "I hope that you will try" to the person that is making her cry so I have bolded what could clarify that in the Chorus. Not sure I would change the 3rd Chorus to sing to all girls but rather keep it the same as in the first two. No butchering job here, but just offering some possible ideas to consider that I've bolded. I love the verse melody but this song is yearning for a higher more contrasting Chorus that could easily take this to the next level of which it is worthy. I also think the bridge should be alittle different melodically just for contrast.

Why am i still wanting you
i do,but i'm not wanting to
please take the heart you hold and set it free
why does it seem I need you so?
but i do,and i cant let it go
i cant believe you've got that much of me

chorus

they tell me,please don't shed any tears (go much higher here)
i know its hard, but girl (or friend) you've gotta try
they tell me this,if he was worth your tears
then he,he would have never made you cry

vs

yeah,im still trying to
trying to let go of you
and i know its gonna take me quite awhile
but i know that i'm needing to
and someday,i will be over you
and then one day soon i'm gonna smile

chorus

they tell me,please dont shed any tears
i know its hard but friend you (gotta)can try
they tell me this,if he was worth your tears
then he,he would have never made you cry

bridge

so i've been doing a little thinking
and i'm thinking that they're right
i'm gonna move on with my life....
the crying stops tonite (higher on last few words)


chorus



tag

yeah the ones ,the ones that are worth your tears
are the ones,the ones that will never make you cry

hope you don't mind some thoughts. Nice job! smile

Best,
Lynn



My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

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Good job all around.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/


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Hi Lynn,
I do not mind at all!!I want to get a full production on this and I appreciate any suggestions to help to make it a better song.Several of the folks here have stated that when I get the full production that perhap the music could provide the necessary changes need from verse to chorus.I hoping that will do the trick....thanks for your wonderful suggestions...
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Michelle

I sent you a pm regarding your pm and the song.
Often I can spot the troubles but can't find an exact solution. On this I did smile
Or may have lol...

Production will not fix what's needed and that ain't easy for me too say LOL


Thanks!
Peace Mike
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Hi again

Also wanted to add I haven't had the chance talk songs and music with you yet, I'm so behind on the folks here lately. Usually I love to know what some ones goals are before I can give any real constructive feedback on a song.

Even though the principles of good songs are all the same the rules are ALL different in the game.

This almost folk like song can cross over country. But needs an injection of mainstream. Mainstream today is Hip Hop #1 but that's not where we are so Rock/Pop is next but this ain't that. So what I was feeling was an injection of "Soul"
with a touch of mellow country rock/pop. Forget Rascall Flatts - The Eagles were the BEST at that and blow Rascall off the planet lol....

But even that is not current.. so what do see YOU doing with this song. Plans? Goals?

Also I am so NOT a textbook songwriter ya know rules and correct grammer and such etc... etc... but one thing I noticed here that's a biggie.

There's a lot of talk about "They" in this song. And I HATE to even say this as I KNOW melody,mood and groove dominate all songs especially hit songs. But lyrically it often needs to line up well to break through.

Who are "They" smile I hated asking that lol... I totally get it.. but it's referred back to so often in the song that you almost feel it should be part of the story/song more.
"they" should have a bigger part in it. Know what I mean?

It's kinda like for example "They" say that breaking up is hard to do... by Neil Sedaka

But with this it's almost like I wanna say something like

"All the people tell me so,but what do all the people know" smile

Ya know? sort of like resolving it with a line or comment about whoevers giving me all this advice etc....

Ore maybe less of "They"

Anybody else picking up on that?
-------------------------

And I like lots about this song! I feel it's hook naturally but am afraid the public won't and certainly not the labels/publishers but don't want to go into that too much without knowing your goals.

All compliments here on this song are VERY well deserved but I'm surprised more didn't pick up on the troubles that are present.

I say ALL OF THIS because I believe it has great potential and needs to be pushed to the max to reach it. smile

GREAT work!



Thanks!
Peace Mike
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=482602

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A good vocalist can make an average set of lyrics sound great. But when you have a great vocalist and and a great set of lyrics, then you have a great song, as this one is. Congratulations on this beautiful song.

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Mike,
Thanks for the compliments.I receieved your PM and replied.Definitely want to hear your suggestions.
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Colin,
Thanks.I appreciate you listening!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Michelle,

Very beautiful. The lyrics, melody and Heathers' vocal makes it perfect.

It is real, and that is good,

Letha

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Roy,
Thank you.That is very kind of you to say.
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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Hi Letha,
Thank you so much.I definitely cant take any of the credit for Heathers vocals.Her voice gives me goose bumps!
Michelle


*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue


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