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Acts 2:38
By Roy Harris and Kevin Wicker

Sister Ethyl came home from church
Late one Sunday night
She opened the door and she could tell
Something just didn’t seem right
Her clothes were scattered everywhere
The lid was raised on her valuables
And there stood thievin’ Charlie
Stuffin’ his pockets with her jewels

Chorus:
She hollered Acts 2:38
Charlie froze up in his tracks
He raised his hands up in the air
And didn’t dare look back
She said stop right there don’t make a move
Before I get irate
All it took was a verse from the Good Book
She hollered Acts 2:38

She called downtown and told ‘em
What she had went and done
The cops rolled up from every direction
Hopping out with their guns
They went inside ran down the hall
And couldn’t hide their surprise
There stood Charlie stiff as a board
Fear flashing like fire in his eyes

Chorus:
She hollered Acts 2:38
And Charlie froze up in his tracks
He raised his hands up in the air
And didn’t dare look back
She said stop right there don’t make a move
Before I get irate
All it took was a verse from the Good Book
Acts 2:38

They cuffed him up and broke out laughin
Asked him why did you get scared
All she did was quote a Bible verse
I can’t believe you got snared
A Bible verse? Charlie said in shock
Is that what sealed my fate
Cause I swore she said she had an axe
And two thirty-eights.

Chorus:
She hollered Acts 2:38
And Charlie froze up in his tracks
He raised his hands up in the air
And didn’t dare look back
She said stop right there don’t make a move
Before I get irate
All it took was a verse from the Good Book
Acts 2:38

Tag
Well Judge I’m telling you
I could have swore I heard her say
She had an axe and two thirty-eights

©Roy Harris/Kevin Wicker

This song's a hoot! Actually I thought she a .38 too.

Kevin

Roy,

this is so funny!very good writing and I'm already thinking bout the video.Kinda reminds me of some of those great ray stevens classics(the day the squirrel went to church)..very cool idea for a song!!
Michelle

Thanks Kevin and Michelle. I just gave Kevin the lyrics and he ran with it. Kevin did the demo as well as the vocal and he also played all the instruments. A very talented man.

By the way Roy,is that Marie Osmond you're hugging on?

lol. Yep, that's her. The real deal. Long story short, I work in a store in Texarkana that sells collectible dolls. If you know Marie, she is a talented doll sculptor plus all the rest. We carry her line of dolls and she came to our store for about 12 years in a row before she got famous again on Dancing With The Stars. Her and Donny are currently do Las Vegas and I believe she starts a daytime talk show sometime in the near future so that has reduced her visits for the past two years. She did what they call a doll signing which means she comes in and autographs her dolls for collectors. Always a photographer present and I think on her last visit about 3 years ago I jumped at the opportunity to get up on the stage for an "up close and personal photo". She is one nice lady with a tremendous personality. That photo was taken before she lost about 30 pounds for Dancing With The Stars but even then she is one beautiful lady.

Good song. There was a joke going around a while back that went like this, nice to see it made into a song.

lol. You caught me Everett. That's exactly where the idea came from.

What a clever endeavor Mr. Roy!!!! This is a winner! Even melodically you have a nice contrast (melodically and rhythmically) going between the verse and Chorus which is critical. Love how you broke it up w/talking and singing. Packed with personality and punch. Congrats!!!

Best,
Lynn

Thanks Lynn. Kevin gets all the credit for that. I just gave him an idea and he did all the rest.

Hi Roy,

I was expecting Jimmy Swaggart and got Jerry Reed, and so I was pleasantly surprised, cuz I always loved Amos Moses and the occasional country novelty tune.

I think the music has to really kill, and it IS pretty good, cuz the joke is kinda thin...but that's jmo...

Mike

Hey Roy,
This one sounds great. Kevin did a good job on it. I wish ole Jerry Reed was still around. He could make this one a hit.

Charles

Mike and Charles. Thanks for the listen and comments. I really appreciate all the input.