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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199
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this is just pure sillyness.
"Don't Tap Your Toes"
©jrhoffman 09
the radio's broke in this old van
the radiator'getting steamed
the muffler stutters like a stand up bass
we got valve tappets clacking like piano keys
baby don't tap your toes
and just maybe we can sing along
baby don't tap your toes
the floorboard's gone
at the hardware store outside of town
the label read a hundred feet
but that last big roll of duct tape
took us down from Columbus clean to St. Pete
baby don't tap your toes
and just maybe we can sing along
baby don't tap your toes
the floorboard's gone
we might make it big
if this rig gets us to another gig
so baby don't tap your toes
and just maybe we can sing along
baby don't tap your toes
the floorboard's gone
baby don't tap your toes
the floorboard's gone
better start looking for a hardware store
Last edited by John Hoffman; 05/16/09 05:16 AM.
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Joined: Dec 2007
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it could be turned into something
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Joined: Aug 2008
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V1 is kickass..just awsome, seriosuly
*bows*
I AM NOT A FUGITIVE
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"baby don't tap your toes the floorboard's gone" Just lovin' that part  Is this really "just for fun" or are we suppose to dig? Really, really cute either way.
J.K. Smith 
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This is funny.I like it very much...it reminds me of my old ford pinto that I drove as a teen...Bright orange,floor boards rotted out...but anyway...i think this is well written,and would be a catchy song.
*****You know I'm a dreamer,but my heart's of gold*****Motley Crue
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Hi there John,
Well the title is "Don't tap your toes"..... but how can you help it ???? This is such a fun little ditty. Very clever, and well written.
Gail
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Thanks folks,
made an edit to try and make it more singable. Yes Jody-Doodle do dig. I want to learn something from this little exercise. Getting something singable is HARD for me.
have fun,
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Joined: Dec 2007
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John see if ya can use any or all of this
the MUSIC'S GONE in this old van
BUT the radiator's whistling please
the muffler stutters like a stand up bass
AND THE valve tappets ARE NOW piano keys
baby don't tap your toes
CLAP YOUR HANDS AND sing along
baby don't tap your toes
CAUSE the floorboard's gone
at the hardware store outside of town
the label read a hundred feet
but that last roll of SILVER duct tape
took us from Columbus to NEAR St. Pete
baby don't tap your toes
CLAP YOUR HANDS AND sing along
baby don't tap your toes
CAUSE the floorboard's gone
we might make it big
if this rig gets us to another gig
so baby don't tap your toes
JUST CLAP AND sing along
baby don't tap your toes
CAUSE the floorboard's ALREADY gone
baby don't tap your toes
JUST CLAP AND sing along
baby don't tap your toes
CAUSE the floorboard's ALREADY gone
baby don't tap your toes
the floorboard's gone GONE GONE
[/quote]
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Posts: 6,325 Likes: 4
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Howdy John.
This was loads of fun and I would suggest that you take Gary suggest to heart. He said it all, sorta like I would have. Great Stuff!
Douglas
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Hi John-
Hey, this is about what I was trying to say with something Janice and I recently posted here, "Your Jalopy" same idea. I liked ours and now I like yours too!!!!!
Take care, vicki
Open to co-writers and collaborations with other lyricists and/or musicians.
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Gary,
I like clapping your hands. That's a nice positive thing. Good verb too. I'll definitely keep clapping in mind if it goes any further.
Also wonderig if there's a musical term related to a whistling sonud that rhymes with keys. I don't know many musical terms.
Doug,
thanks
Vicki,
you and Janice are great.
have fun,
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Fun song, John. Easy sing. But I don't know what the label reading 100 feet means,
Also, for me it's more rhythmic if you were to say The floorboard's ALMOST gone. Not only does it meter better in my head, but it makes more sense, because if it IS gone, she couldn't be tapping.
fnf
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Frank,
my wife said the same thing about "almost" it doesn't meter that way in my head but I wouldn't argue that with a composer. The 100 feet is explained immediately afterward. That may be backwards but...
have fun,
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Hi John, I've been looking at this and didn't have anything to add except that it's a cute song about a "beloved" family car! These days, people can relate, sadly, but perhaps relieve a bit of stress and sing along?! I don't know, but you were looking for a whistling sound that rhymes with key? "Beat", "harmony", "glee"....not perfect rhymes, and not even whistling sounds ( ) but maybe those will get you thinking! Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Kristi,
thanks. I've decided to go with "the radiator's getting steamed" rather than a musical term. For some reasom it makes the following lines sing more easily. I once actually saw a band van much like this one going down the road.
Have fun,
John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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